Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

@Sarah556 definitely ask, even if they don’t have one it might at least make them start thinking about how they can improve the situation for grieving parents.

@Sunbird24 yes, exactly. I'm so sorry you went through this too. It feels like such an unnecessary pain to have to bear after everything.

Going in for the ERPC tomorrow I have to go to the same reception, but I think the time they’ve said to arrive is well before they start seeing people for scans, which is good, and then you’re in a 4 bed ward before and after the surgery, away from the waiting room. I’m having it under general, so this one should be my least physically traumatic, fingers crossed.

@Sarah556 I’m so sorry they made you sit in that waiting area that really shouldn’t happen. I feel the same about the hospital I went to never want to go back there. Unfortunately I’ve had to go a couple of times to pick up medication etc…but will be going somewhere else if I get pregnant again.

Good luck for tomorrow @Sunbird24 x

Thank you @BlueForYou3. I’ve packed my handbag, set my alarm, and now I’m off to bed.

I hope everyone else is getting though it.

@Sunbird24 good luck today ...

I've got a scan to confirm what they saw on Monday - today.
I'm really not looking forward to the whole quiet and 'I'm sorry' chat.

Sending you a handhold @Doodledeedum.

Hi all, I hope it’s ok to join this thread. I miscarried last weekend. I had a scan at EPU on the Tuesday and I was told it was a pregnancy of unknown viability so I guessed it was coming. I was feeling ok mentally, just waiting for the physical symptoms to stop but today I can’t stop crying so it seems to have hit me now. It took 16 months to get pregnant which then ended in miscarriage and I just feel like giving up TTC completely

Hi @longingforsunshine welcome to the group, im so sorry to hear about your loss. Recovery from miscarriage (both physically and emotionally) can take a while, have you been able to take any time out of work to recover?

@Longingforsunshine I'm so sorry this happened to you too. It's so bloody unfair, isn't it?
It's okay to cry; crying isn't a weakness. I often feel better after a good cry! I'm sure many of us here feel the same.

@Longingforsunshine sorry for your loss. The grieving process is not straightforward or linear, and however you feel is entirely normal. Take whatever time you need, you don’t have to rush into trying again, you’ll know when you’re ready.

Thank you everyone. I had time off work last week and my boss has been great luckily.
I know others have it so much worse, I have a beautiful 3yo DD and should be grateful for what I already have when so many can’t. Hope everyone else is doing ok this weekend?

I’m having bad cramps and a bit of bleeding, but nothing unexpected. Don’t want to go back to work on Monday but took last week so can’t really take any more.

So sorry everyone for your loses.

Hi all, sorry for your losses.
It's been 3 weeks since I started medical management for my MMC. Had a follow up scan on Friday and there is still some remaining tissue. They've given me the medicine again but this time nothing is happening. Has anyone else experienced this or had to have the medicine twice?
I was just starting to feel back to normal and more positive and this second dose has really drained me mentally- I'm so done with this now and just want it over. I had originally asked for the D&C and they said no due to covid. I feel like I'm going to end up with that anyway now after all of the pain and missery. Sorry for the rant! X

I’m so sorry for your experience @Floslittlebean, no idea why some places are saying no to the surgical option when others aren’t. Hopefully it all gets resolved for you soon.

@Floslittlebean

I had this the first time I miscarried, it didn't pass had second set of medical management and then the product got stuck in my cervix and had to be manually removed, awful experience and I'm so sorry that you're going through it. Sometimes depending on the size of the tissue, they don't offer surgical management. They didn't to me during this first miscarriage.

This second miscarriage I' e just had I had a d and c booked for Tuesday But the pain was so bad on Thursday, I had to go to hospital. Hoping just for some more pain relief but the doctor basically gave me no option but to have more medical management which I didn't want, after my last experience. They administered it, then all symptoms stopped. I stayed in two nights as they were monitoring me, then I passed it all yesterday morning with no pain. (Which I wasn't expecting)

It's such an awful experience which ever management you opt for. But keep the faith and be pushy with your requests, it's mentally, emotionally and physically difficult so make it clear what would make you feel better.

Much love and stay strong, be kind to yourself and take time to reflect

Oh god @Firsttimemum38 I had that happen with my second, was one of the worst experiences of my life! I’m really sorry you had it too, but you’re the only other person I’ve heard of with it, so now I don’t feel quite so weird.

@Sunbird24 yes horrific, I'm sorry you had to go through that as well. It went on for so long! This time it seems to be over and done with after 4 days of finding out which I'm not sure how to deal with!

How is everyone getting on?

I'm ok - still processing plus people popping round so you have to recount the story so many times, I'm not sure if it helps or not. It maybe normalises it.

I'm eating a lot of cake which isn't good. Bleeding has almost stopped which compared to the 8 weeks of bleeding last time is good going.

My husband has gone back to work today, so not sure how today will go. We're both trying not to go down a depression rabbit hole as we know how long it takes to get out of it.

How are you all doing?

I know what you mean, for me it does help make it real, not just the bad bit that ended it, but also that there was actually a baby to start with (or two!) and they were loved and wanted.

@Sunbird24 this pregnancy, I had a twin pregnancy too, but one was vanishing.

So sorry for everyone’s recent losses I know the pain is unbearable. & sorry for everyone who’s experience has been made worse by poor hospital treatment or complications.

I am struggling myself this week for different reasons - approaching cremation & due date. Am back to wanting to sob my eyes out & feeling anxious again.