Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

@Doodledeedum Thank you

Good luck with speaking to work today. I’m sure they’ll be incredibly understanding x

Sorry @BlueForYou3 I didn't see you've also been back here
We all really need to catch a f-kin break here!

@AdrianeMole Thank you It’s my fault for testing early, I won’t be doing that again as it’s not worth the disappointment and stress it causes.

And I completely agree with you … I’m just so grateful to have this space to talk and vent whilst we’re all riding out the storm.

Weird question, but one that I hope someone will identify with too- but I was looking online to buy some new clothes and I kept thinking "oh but if I'm pregnant soon, I should get a bigger size", like I'm trying to prepare for a future that isn't happening yet. I should just get some nice things that fit my body now than predict how my body will look like in 6months/9months/18months.

Not maternity wear but just those first few months of pregnancy before my miscarriage, I was uncomfortable in some of my everyday clothes so now I seem to be getting fixated on preparing for that again (whenever that may be). Think I need a reality check!

@Tofu35 I remember telling my Mum when we first started TTC. We were shopping one day and I found a coat I fell in love with instantly. My mum bought it for me and insisted I went a size up to accommodate a future bump … I think about that conversation whenever I wear it and the fact that it’s definitely too big for me. It’s been sat in my wardrobe for about 2 years now. I still love the coat, I just hope that I’ll have a bump to fill it one day.

I would say buy clothes that fit you now and make you feel good. But I’ve definitely been in the habit of buying floaty dresses this year that I secretly know would be great maternity wear.

I hope that makes you feel more normal!

I’ve gone up 2 dress sizes in 2 years, between the pandemic, IVF and multiple pregnancies/MCs. I’ve recently given in to buying clothes in the just slightly bigger than I need range, but I’ve been buying bump-friendly style tops since the IVF. Helps me convince myself I’m not just getting fat for no reason

Same on going up 2 dress sizes here through IVF and miscarriages, I really gained in my recent pregnancy as I felt sick so carb loaded. Even with all the heartache I haven't lost even a kg since. Argh!

I’ve had no appetite since a few days/week before my scan last week, but don’t own any scales so no idea if I’ve lost any weight. Would be nice!

Hi everyone, I hope this is the right place to post this, as I'm feeling pretty lost right now.

I found out at the beginning of November that I was pregnant for the first time, after five months of trying. Went for my 12 week scan last Tuesday, found out that baby was 12+5, but had a large NT measurement (5.1mm) and fluid in the abdomen. Stupidly thinking everything would be fine I'd gone by myself and via public transport, so that was a teary bus ride home.

Then the next day I got some upsetting rapid results from my screening, very high chance of Downs or other chromosomal issue. Was sent out the following day (Thursday) for follow up scan and a CVS at another hospital, but before we could talk options the scan showed no heartbeat.

I was booked in straight away for a Medical miscarriage at my local hospital. On saturday I went in for my first tablet, then went back on Monday morning to start the rest of the medication. I stayed overnight and Babe was born at 6:20am yesterday after four doses of misoprostol.

Everyone I've had to deal with has been lovely, and the NHS were amazing, I can't believe how quickly everything was sorted out. Though I think I've ended up with emotional whiplash. In the space of a week or so I've gone from being excited to tell my friends and family, to worried that we might have hard decisions to make about a poorly baby, to now back home mourning my little one.

How long did you all wait before trying again? How did it go? I've opted for a post mortem and for the placenta to be tested for genetic differences, do you think I should wait for these results (three months or so) before trying again? Or should I just go for it and hope for the best?

Currently feeling like there's something wrong with me, even though everyone's telling me it's probably just one of those horrible things.

I’m so sorry for your loss @LittleBumbleee

I had medical management for a MMC in November and asked the Doctor whilst I was in the hospital if we could start TTC again. I was advised to wait until the bleeding had stopped, but after that there was no reason we couldn’t start trying again. It sounds like our circumstances are slightly different though so I would speak to the hospital or your GP x

Hey everyone, I'm new. I've read through a lot of the posts. I empathise with you all.

My most recent MC was over Christmas. I stupidly let myself believe that everything was going to be fine this time. I saw the heartbeat twice.

I found out that there was no HB on my birthday. We had planned to go for lunch and shopping after. I can't even put into words the utter devastation I felt.

I had to go in to hospital 2 days later. That whole day is just a blur. I remember having a cup of tea made by the midwife, which tasted amazing! Haha, it's silly the things we remember.

I'm still bleeding now, and still testing positive (lightly).

I know my little person is gone, but I just want him back, more than I've ever wanted anything.

Welcome Sarah, sorry you are joining us and thank you for sharing your story.

Sorry for your loss Sarah

@Sarah556 & @LittleBumbleee I'm so sorry for your losses and that you've had to join us. It's truly devastating to read your experiences... no one should ever have to endure this pain... x

@Doodledeedum and @BlueForYou3 Thanks for the welcome, it's the club you never think you're going to end up in

I had to go back to the hospital for my last anti-D injection and to pick up my keepsake box, but my midwife wasn't there. She'll be calling me tomorrow though, so I'll ask her about trying again then.

Hi ladies,

Unfortunately, I'm joining this group today. This is my second MC.

We had two scans at 6+5 and 8+3 both with heartbeats.

With four days before my 12 week scan I had some odd discharge. So went to A&E and it seems I've MC again.

It took us 9 months between MC to get pregnant again - it's just so devastating. Feels worse this time!

So sorry for all your losses

@Firsttimemum38 I’m so sorry

Some resources for anyone who hasn’t already seen them:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/

I apologise if I miss anyone joining, some days are better than others!

@Sunbird24 the resource on the Tommy's site about partner's experience of miscarriage was useful. I think my husband forgot he was also grieving in the early days. There is a page there that really underlined that it was important for him to also grieve and to take care of himself as well as me.

@Tofu35 there’s this one as well: www.miscarriageformen.com/
Dads definitely do need support too, and I’m glad there are things specifically for them.

Sorry you've had to join us @Firsttimemum38 😞
My second felt heavier too.

Now with this third one I'm really getting scared about going to the EPU AGAIN tomorrow...I feel like every single time I've gone it's been a curse and it's always bad news

Cramping since yesterday and I wish it was just over with now. My body just loves to hold on, wish it would keep the babies going too... feel like it's really failing me. I don't know what they're going to tell me tomorrow but I've had enough. I'm so sick and tired of being here in this MC zone.

I had to go to the hospital for a scan today. It was the same place I went to for my initial ultrasound; so, full of pregnant women with their notes and scan pictures and happy faces.

It took all my strength not to cry. In typical fashion I was also the last to be seen, so got to see everyone coming out with their good news and excitement.

I know there's no point but I can't stop thinking "why me?" It's so very unfair.

@Sarah556 DITTO. Every damn day.

That sucks Sarah. What a horrible day youve had :(
EPU is a very weird zone I could totally do without now. If I ever get to have a healthy pregnancy I'm going to brick it if I need to go there for anything!

@Doodledeedum I thought the same thing. If I ever have a healthy pregnancy I don't want to go back there. That place is full of horrible memories.

I wish they had a separate waiting area for people in different situations. Unfeasible, probably, I know, but it's torturous being there when you're very obviously the only one not pregnant.

I just want to stop being angry!

My EPU does have a little area round the other side of the reception if you don’t want to sit in the main waiting area for any reason - they should all have that option. While waiting to go in for my scan last Friday there was a young couple opposite me who’d obviously just had a lovely positive experience. It does make you feel alone. I sat in the other area afterwards.

Oh @Sunbird24 that's good to know. Maybe I should ask if there's something like that in mine. I guess the receptionists don't know why you're there?

Yep, I just felt like the world was against me in that moment; so many happy couples and then me sitting there by myself like a spare part! 🤪