Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

I just did the maths from the measurements and now I really wish I hadn’t - looks like it happened around Christmas Day. 😫

@Sunbird24 I know it's easier said than done but try and be in the moment. I used to do the same - work out when I didn't realize they were gone or where I'd be etc. reel yourself back in. I'm so sorry because it's totally shit :(

I know, it’s just a really weird combination at the moment of it being kind of ok because I’ve had a bit of practice with it, but also it being worse because of the cumulative effect. I’m generally a very pragmatic person and not usually one to wallow, so I know I will get back on my feet in time.

Will you be able to take some time off work @Sunbird24 ?

I’m not going in tomorrow, and I’m wfh next week, but my boss knows and will expect me to take it easy. I ended up with 4 weeks off last time as the doctor signed me off for two weeks and that ran into 2 weeks that I’d previously already booked off. I can’t go anywhere anyway as I’ll need to go into the hospital as soon as they can fit me in - the last two MCs I had surgery booked for 2 weeks after I found out but started bleeding a couple of days before I was due to have it, and ended up in A&E with severe haemorrhaging. Obviously want to try and avoid that this time if possible!

That's good re the time off / at home at least. Hopefully they can fit you in quickly at the hospital. Sorry such a horrible time.

@Sunbird24 I’m so so sorry for you loss. There are just no words to convey it all are there. I feel pained at the injustice for you. Sending you strength too. I hope you have people around you to support you ❤️

I’m so so sorry for everyone that’s joined here recently too 💐

I’ve not posted for a couple of weeks. Been living in a bubble since Christmas. It was a super hard day and wish I had put more boundaries in like so many of you have recently. I ended up going to my brother and sil for the day who have a 2 month old baby. Needless to say it was really hard and my mum was there and knows all I’ve been through (she’s generally been amazing in supporting me) but she was cooing and clucking all over her and trying to make me hold her. Was stunned she did it. And to top it off my first period post MMC started. It was a real treat to deal with. Sorry if I’m dumping my junk on here 😬😬 just wanting to share my struggle of the day I guess - and just say and agree that it is soooo hard with friends and family who are pregnant or have littlies. It is lovely for them but it’s painful for us.

And I guess I’m feeling a bit triggered today as I have a hosp appointment this aft for a uterine scan. Probably in the same room as I had my MVA 😕… when I had my 12 week scan they thought I had an abnormal shaped uterus - so I guess I’m going to find out what’s going on today. The idea of it makes me feel a bit weird.

And as mean as it sounds and as for boundaries with family - I’m so glad my bro and family have gone abroad for 3 months! Space to heal a bit more…

In fact even after a few weeks now post MMC i still feel I can’t meet up with everyone. I didn’t tell that many people when I was pregnant and so not so many knew when I miscarried. I don’t feel like I want to tell everyone as I just think they won’t get it. But i’ve discovered it’s hard for me ‘pretending’ that everything is fine when you see someone when you aren’t really yet.

Gosh I’ve written an essay - sorry!

Sending healing thoughts to everyone on here 🌸

@SwirlyS sorry to hear it, and don’t worry about writing it all down here, that’s what this is for, a safe space where you can unload and empathise and we can support each other. It really is a unique pain and there are just so many triggers everywhere we look. I hope your uterine scan went ok and sending lots of love x

Is anyone able to clarify something for me before I feel like I'm totally losing my marbles. Had surgical management of MMC on 15th December. Bleeding stopped after ten days and negative pregnancy test after ten days so started straight back trying again. Just been to the toilet and there's pink when I wiped. Don't want to potentially get my hopes up that is implantation bleeding but it seems early for a period I was told 6 weekish. Could it be last bits of miscarriage bleeding even though I've not had any bleeding since 25th of December?

They didn't really give me any proper guidance on if there could be random bleeding weeks later etc. And if it is random miscarriage related bleeding this much later then I've no idea if it's normal or not as they didn't say.

@Artisticpiglet3 I had a random bleed three weeks after the surgery. I called the doc who said it was normal but she wasn't sure if it was period or not. I hadn't been TTC though so I knew it wasn't implantation. I then came on two weeks later.
As I say though mine was dark and went on for an evening and I hadn't been trying yet that month.

@1stTimeTina just wanted to say thanks for your kind words.

Scan didn’t go that brilliantly as I have to go back again for another follow up scan and may need an op, but at least I know what’s going on now

Hi everyone, I had a MC at the start of December. I've now finished AF, me and DH are planning on TTC again, I've booked an appointment with my GP for the end of the month. When my MC happened I attended an appointment with EPAU as I had a scan already booked due to bleeding, I was 8 weeks.
Is there anything in particular I should ask about?
I was told I had a cervical ectropion last year after bleeding between periods, haven't been on any birth control for 10 years so unsure of the cause, worried this indicates some kind of hormonal imbalance ☹ I took provera a couple of months later to delay my period and haven't had any problems since.

Any suggestions welcome 😊

I’m struggling today Had a faint BFP on Wednesday but AF has arrived so I’m assuming it was a Chemical. Thought things were starting to look up after my MMC in November…

Had a good cry on the phone to my friend as I was just feeling completely overwhelmed this morning. Anyway she shared this FB group with me and I found the most beautiful quote that completely resonated with how I feel. I wanted to share it with you all

Thank you for sharing that image @BlueForYou3. I'm so sorry you had a chemical this week but I'm glad you have a friend who you can rely on during these tough times 💐 💐

Random thought, would anyone be interested in a Memory Thread? I feel like I want to record somewhere the due dates I’m not going to get to celebrate, and the couple of names I had chosen, nothing more. Not a support thread like this one, just a place for us to say “they were here, however briefly, and they were loved”.

Unfortunately I'm back again ... tested positive last week and had a scan booked previously to investigate the last two MMC. ... at the scan they found I already have a collapsing pregnancy sack.... I've had enough of this now ... I don't know how much i can take ... now to wait for either my body to let it go ( even though my pregnancy tests did get darker) or discuss options to get it moving. New job has no idea what's happened or know what could be happening- I've no idea what to do.

I am so so sorry @Doodledeedum I’d been following you on the other thread.

Personally I would be honest with your new job about what’s happened. Your physical and mental well-being is the most important thing right now.

Sending you so much love x

@Doodledeedum so sorry, this really sucks

@BlueForYou3 it really does suck. I saw you on the other thread too and here. I already had a feeling I'd be back here ... 3 times. Just unbelievable.... so much to consider... it's too scary to think of keeping going and wondering if il ever be a bio mum. Just wow.

I don't know if I can be open with them just yet. It's a lot. And my job can only be done by me...

@Doodledeedum So sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you. This is so tough xxx

Oh I am so sorry @Doodledeedum

@doodledeedum I'm so sorry to read this, and also you don't feel able to be open with your new employer. I agree with @blueforyou3, your health and wellbeing are important, and if you're taking up a unique place in this new job- I'd imagine they're counting themselves lucky to have you. I hope there's someone there you can confide in and that they can provide some support for you.

Thanks everybody, I can't tell you what a comfort it is to have a space to come straight to when this happens even though you never want to have to be back. I have spoken with my partner and he's pretty much said the same thing as you guys with work, so I'm going to speak to them tomorrow because I may want to let this happen naturally now, but I went to read up on what I have going on which is a collapsing pregnancy sac... and apparently the chances of this happening naturally are 66% .. and could take weeks, but my body has held on to the last two pregnancies for up to three weeks anyway..

I am scared it will start when I'm at work and also with a possibility of having appointments for a recurrent miscarriage clinic (who knows how long all that will take now) I will need to be able to go out for these every so often and don't want to make reasons up for appointments... argh I'm just so fed up.

@BlueForYou3 also I'm so sorry for what you've been through this week, I should have said this further back In the thread, I just wasn't thinking outside of myself or straight.. sorry x