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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

986 replies

Sunbird24 · 20/10/2021 20:54

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

OP posts:
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8
Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 09:35

@BlueForYou3 great idea, I do actually have one in storage i forgot about. I'll get it out for tonight x

Doodledeedum · 22/12/2021 14:51

@Bloomers58 you're so incredibly brave and strong 💪🏼 I don't know if I could Have done it on my own. I had nightmares during the process and weirdly they were about getting in to trouble!
I had to sleep with a night light on for weeks as I was hallucinating a lot too...

@claremc1983 im sorry to say my therapist wasn't through a service but my therapist from about two years ago. I went to her through a period of depression and she was originally recommended to me by my massage therapist for couples therapy for my last long term relationship! The mind boggles honestly
I text her out of sheer despair after my first MC and asked if she would be willing to see me or if she recommended anybody, but she said she could so I was pleased ... I can always ask if she has any availability for you?
She does it via zoom for me which is so amazing as I don't have to get ready only to look like shit after a session lol.

Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 16:45

@Doodledeedum

For all ladies going through this. I invested in some bed pans on amazon, means you can stay in bed and without having to wear a pad or keep getting up too much. Have found this helpful today as have felt totally knackered from the hours of relentless contractions last night.

Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 16:46

@Doodledeedum sorry. Tagged you but didn't add thank you so much. I don't feel very strong right now but maybe I will looking back x

Cruz86 · 22/12/2021 18:38

Hi @Bloomers58. I'm so sorry you're going through this on your own. How is the pain now? I had intense contractions that lasted a minute each time with 30 seconds in between, but that was only for about an hour and a half and then it just stopped. It was very strange going from sheer pain to absolutely nothing. But I had a scan 10 days afterwards that confirmed I had passed everything. So, albeit your contractions have stopped, I would say that's the hard part (physically) all over. How's your bleeding? Is it heavy or manageable? Keep dosed up on paracetamol/codeine and just rest in bed for the next couple of days at least. I agree, no one warns you about just how intense the pain is. Thinking of you xx

Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 18:47

@Cruz86 I had contractions exactly like that for about 4 hours, they stopped around 9am after I passed a medium sized clot. I havent seen anything that resembles the sac yet. I've been bleeding steadily all day but in less pain. In the last hour the contractions have started again but they are further apart for now. This is how it started last night though so I'm worried they are about to ramp up again. Even though I am disappointed not to have seen anything that resembles the baby, I hope that last night was the worst of it. I have codeine and some crap TV and a deliveroo just arrived, so I'm sorted but just feeling very sorry for myself. x

Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 18:50

Did anyone else have multiple waves of contractions. Before passing the sac. I was hoping when they stopped that would be it.

Cruz86 · 22/12/2021 19:06

Oh I'm sorry it seems to be starting up again @Bloomers58. I couldn't see what I passed because it was all in the toilet, but I just knew it was all over. Has this all started naturally or did you have medical management? How far along are you? I applaud you for dealing with this on your own. It's so tough x

Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 19:11

Hi @Cruz86, 10 weeks, baby is 8. Thank you. I wonder if another wave of contractions is normal. If I have another night like last night I'll have to call in I think.

claremc1983 · 22/12/2021 19:13

@Bloomers58 my contractions eased after I passed the pregnancy but ramped up again to pass the placenta so you could well be about to pass that? Thought that might depend how far along you were...I found I could barely move when they got that strong..however they were bare able if that makes sense? Thinking of you. It will be over soon xx

claremc1983 · 22/12/2021 19:14

Ohh that might be an idea @Doodledeedum thank you! Much appreciated x

Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 19:17

@claremc1983 thank you. Glad to know it's normal if they ramp up again.

FieldView · 22/12/2021 21:24

Hi there, can I join please? I had an MVA yesterday for a MMC. Not a fan, and feeling very crampy and tender today!

Bloomers58 · 22/12/2021 22:22

I think I might have just passed the baby, complete in its sac. I don't know what I'm looking at. I won't post a pic because it is likely to be a trigger for so many people but does anyone know of anywhere I can look at what it is supposed to look like for reference? I have a place I want to bury it. I'd like to know I'm burying the baby, not something else. X

FieldView · 22/12/2021 22:32

@Bloomers58 I'm afraid I can't help, but just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. I think I remember you from the other thread Thanks

Bloomers58 · 23/12/2021 09:38

Once I cleaned everything off I found the baby, tiny as it was, lumped into the mass that came out if me in its sac. I buried it this morning under a tree in my garden and had a cup of tea with it. I feel calm for now. These rocks thrown in our path are just stepping stones in the end x

Bloomers58 · 23/12/2021 09:40

Thank you to you all for all your support and i hope you all find some moments of peace over the coming days. x

claremc1983 · 23/12/2021 09:43

@Bloomers58 they really are....thinking of you xx

AdrianeMole · 23/12/2021 11:54

That sounds lovely to plant under the tree.
May next year bring much happiness for us all xx

Doodledeedum · 23/12/2021 14:23

@Bloomers58 I'm sorry this is heartbreaking.... ❤️ lots of love to you

Tofu35 · 24/12/2021 12:27

Hey everyone, been missing in action the last week but wondering how we're all doing today? Received some lovely post today, a friend sent a wooden star with a "the brightest star in the sky" message on it. Really nice to know we're still in people's thoughts.

Bloomers58 · 25/12/2021 23:14

Hope everyone has had the best Christmas possible. Let's hope 2022 is a better one for us all x

BlueForYou3 · 28/12/2021 11:23

How is everyone? Flowers

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now Christmas is over. DH went to a lot of effort to make the day special and we genuinely had a lovely day together.

@Tofu35 That is such a wonderful and thoughtful present. I agree, it’s comforting to know that people are still thinking of you. I find myself wanting to bring it up in conversation at times. I’m not sure if people think I’m fine now or if they don’t want to bring it up at risk of upsetting me …

HopeSpringsEternal123 · 28/12/2021 12:08

Hi everyone, I just found this thread after finding out I had a missed miscarriage yesterday. I originally had a positive scan at 7 weeks that showed a heartbeat and baby measuring at the right size, but my symptoms disappeared about a week later and I was really worried so booked a scan for 9 weeks. There they told me there was no heartbeat and baby hadn’t grown at all since the last scan, in fact it was somehow measuring smaller. So heartbreaking as we had 3 rounds of IVF and it was our first pregnancy, we were so happy to get to that point and now it’s been taken away Sad

BlueForYou3 · 28/12/2021 12:32

I’m so sorry for your loss @HopeSpringsEternal123 Flowers