Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

Thank you for your replies @AdrianeMole and @Tofu35.
I phoned the hospital ward yesterday as it was out of hours to let them know what had happened but she didn't say to do anything. The woman previous to her had booked me in for a scan as I'd been having red spotting (which progressed ), she said to bring a urine sample, not sure if I need to now but will bring one anyway.
All the best to everyone, its such a horrible time, just want my body to get back to normal. Treating myself to plenty of chocolate and strong coffee since I had been limiting my caffeine previously.

@sparklesurprise29 it might take a wee bit of time, but your body will get back to normal. One thing we can all agree with on this thread is that recovery isn't a straight line, some days you'll feel "normal" and other days you'll feel sad/rubbish/tired, but those low days are also part of your body getting itself back to normal.

Thanks @adrianemole I started laughing thinking that we all have a progress chart on our walls with stars on when we reach another milestone. From the very first "had a shower without crying" to my newest achievement today.

@Sparklesurprise29, you go for it on the chocolate and coffee!
@Tofu35, we should be giving ourselves gold stars for sure. I get one today for not smoking you get one for getting your period. x

Bit of a weird one, but has anyone found themselves with proper anxiety since their MC?

I had an early one at 5.5 weeks and didn't really think much of it, just assumed it was one of those things that happen and that would be that...but then the Dr sent me to the EPU for bloods and an internal scan and ever since then I have just been so anxious that something has been missed or it's an ectopic etc. Even though I had my HCG monitored down to 2 so I know it's not possible, and I've had a negative test since.

Every time I have a twinge I panic, and I've even been waking up in the night and having to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I'm even imagining shoulder pain!!

Just wondering if anyone else has had this high level of anxiety?? Feel like I won't properly be able to relax until my period arrives but that could be a couple more weeks yet, if it even arrives as we have still been TTC.

So stressful!

A 🌟 for you @adrianemole! Saying no to smoking today definitely deserves one of these. I'm glad your gym session yesterday made you feel good, every small win we have all counts towards the bigger picture!

@LittleMysSister I've experienced anxiety for a few years prior to my miscarriage, but it meant that I tried to put things into place to stop me spiraling afterwards. This included not TTC until I had my period because I was worried about how id process it all (the decisions of an anxious brain!). Not that it stopped me being anxious but it limited how many things related to my miscarriage I could be anxious about at the one time! Although last week I spiralled about planning a parking space to meet a friend for lunch, and ended up on websites to plot where to park (ended up in my usual spot but it took about 3 hours to decide).

Could you call the EPU just to arrange a chat with one of the nurses to go through some of these anxious thoughts? It's not good if you're losing sleep due to worry. They would be able to tell you about what the tests said and hopefully give you some peace of mind xx

Thank you @Tofu35, tbh EPU did give me info at the time as I grilled them 😂 So I know logically that my worries cannot be true. I had an internal scan that showed nothing untoward, and also two sets of blood showing HCG at 27 and then at 2 a week later, which is pre-pregnant levels. So logically I know there is nothing more to be said. But in my head I just have these weird moments of panic where I genuinely feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.

It's so horrible, I never used to be anything like this. I (naively) had never considered the dangers of pregnancy and miscarriage before, so I think it's just really shook me up when EPU were testing and checking for things I never even thought would be a possibility.

Think I probably just need to look into some coping techniques. It is improving as time goes by but still happening a few times a week.

Hey everyone. Does anyone else just feel like there are so many pregnancy announcements at the moment? I can't get away from it from Instagram, friends etc. I only miscarried on Tuesday so it's still really raw, but I honestly didn't think I'd be this emotional (naive I know). It's so horrible seeing people saying they're due in June when it should have been me in July 😞 I've been so busy since the miscarriage that when I do get snippets of stillness, I just break down.

Has anyone done anything as a keepsake or something for their baby?

Hope you're all doing as well as you can. We've got this ❤️ xx

@Cruz86 yup. Around my first MC loads of the people I follow on Instagram we're announcing and then a few announced when I would have announced / then more came when they found o it the sex and I kind of just made my self watch stuff /look at the pictures and captions to harden myself to it. I then watched those babies be born and was pregnant again so I kind of felt happy and hopeful and then MC again and it all went back to square one and I did the same things all over again... though I as devastated for Jessie J and I find it really sad and difficult when celebs come out later on and say they've lost prior..... it's a no win situation sometimes ...

Really need to spell check before I post 🙄 hope people get the gist. Too many to correct .... 🤦🏽‍♀️

Megan Markle’s article about her MC came out right when I was having my first, and she must have already been about 12 weeks pregnant as Lillibet was born a week before my due date. I really struggled with that one. Somehow the subsequent MCs have been both harder and easier to deal with, I guess it’s a combination of the cumulative loss but knowing what to expect and how I’ll feel, and that I’ll survive it.

For reasons I don’t want to go into right now I’m going to take a break from this thread for a while, but please keep supporting each other as you’ve been doing. If I’m not back by the time the thread fills up, please can somebody start the next one? Thank you!

Hi everyone. I had a mc in August 2020 and another one in July 2021 :( blood tests came back fine so no idea what the problem is and if it will happen again

Hi all, apologies for jumping in here but not sure where else to turn. Found out I had a missed miscarriage yesterday at a walk-in EPU as my local EPU couldn't get me in. Was told I could wait or get a D&C. I'm terrified of the latter, but just wondering how long I am meant to wait for it to happen. Pregnancy stopped growing at 9/10 weeks (apparently a few days after I had an early scan and saw a heart beat ) and I found out at 12 weeks because I've been bleeding this weekend. I just don't know what to expect and when to expect it to start, at the moment I just have a bit of brown blood and cramps but that's it... And I just wish I knew what was coming next, when. Or is it just a waiting game? When do I need to worry that I still havent passed it all by? Thanks in advance, I'm heartbroken and never navigated this before as it's my first time.

Hi @MO22, I’m so sorry for your loss Did they not offer you medical management as an option? I had a MMC at 10 weeks last month and opted for that. I was told waiting for it to occur naturally could take weeks and there was an increased risk of infection due to the fact the baby had already died 2 weeks prior. The thought of an operation scared me, however I’ve heard nothing but positive comments about it on here. Personally, I would try and speak to your local EPU again to talk through your options and make sure all your questions are answered.

Thank you for your reply - no the only option I was given was wait or surgery. I did read not all hospitals offer medical, but the more research I do, the more that feels like the best approach. I don't really know who to ask for more info, my local EPU (the hospital I was meant to give birth in) take over an hour to answer the phone (and hung up on me whilst I was crying and asking for an emergency scan) my GP rings out, and my midwife hasn't replied to my calls or emails. So just feel completely powerless and unsure where to turn. Who would administer the drugs for a medical miscarriage?

Hi @Hopingforarainbow27 I am so sorry for your losses . Sorry I can't give you any medical comments, did your doctor just say to try again?
Hi @MO22 I am sorry for you loss . A lot of women on this thread are offered medical management so I think you should ask them why that's not being offered. I had a D&C twice and it was so easy. You're asleep about 10 minutes and when you wake up its all sorted out.
Please use this thread for support.

I have also called the Miscarriage Association phone line and joined a online support group of theirs, that helped.
Sunbird24 no worries we will copy the thread if this one gets full. x
We have an appointment with our IVF doc tomorrow which feels too soon abut I guess we just want to hear iany thoughts on why this is happening.
Good things planned for today: Strong coffees, Gym, Get some work done, Try not to blame self.
@Cruz86 I bought a necklace as a little keepsake. x

@MO22 I was given 2 sets of tablets which I was able to take at home. I think the hospital told me you need to live within 30 minutes of the hospital if you want to administer them at home in case there’s complications. I took the first set on the Monday, which started the bleeding. On the Wednesday I took the second set and passed the pregnancy sac within an hour or so. The pain was manageable and I was grateful that I could be at home whilst going through it.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this

Hi @BlueForYou3 how long did it take you to stop bleeding after passing the sac? Mine has happened naturally so not sure if that means it'll take longer to complete?

@Sparklesurprise29 I passed the sac on day 3 of bleeding and bled for around 2 weeks in total

Thank you for your reply @BlueForYou3, sorry for your loss

@AdrianeMole

Hi *@Hopingforarainbow27* I am so sorry for your losses . Sorry I can't give you any medical comments, did your doctor just say to try again? Hi *@MO22* I am sorry for you loss . A lot of women on this thread are offered medical management so I think you should ask them why that's not being offered. I had a D&C twice and it was so easy. You're asleep about 10 minutes and when you wake up its all sorted out. Please use this thread for support. I have also called the Miscarriage Association phone line and joined a online support group of theirs, that helped. Sunbird24 no worries we will copy the thread if this one gets full. x We have an appointment with our IVF doc tomorrow which feels too soon abut I guess we just want to hear iany thoughts on why this is happening. Good things planned for today: Strong coffees, Gym, Get some work done, Try not to blame self. *@Cruz86* I bought a necklace as a little keepsake. x

Yeah they said it was just "bad luck" So annoying and very hard at this time of year!

Thank you so much for your reply, it's really helpful. I've left an voicemail for the EPU to call me back and will ask to do the medical route when they do. I do live within 30 mins, so maybe they'll let me do it at home too. I'm also feeling a bit crampy and had a bit more blood so maybe it's happening naturally a bit more too now I know what's happened... Maybe that's wistful thinking though!

Feels so hard to navigate the practicalities while dealing with the emotions too, but I guess it's just what you have to do. I'm probably still in shock as well, but thanks and big love to everyone else in a similar boat. Feels a bit like living in a nightmare right now.

@MO22 I’m nearly 5 weeks in and I can promise it does get easier You’ll get through this, it’s just a case of riding out the storm. I hope EPU get back to you quickly

Does anyone have answers to why they have experienced miscarriage(s) I've been told it could just be bad luck, could that be the case twice in a row? I've no children so I don't know if it's ever going to happen

Thank you, you're absolutely right.

EPU called me back, was a lovely lady. Apparently they didn't offer me medical because it's too late (I'm 12+3) so my options are wait or have the opp. She's had to provisionally book the procedure in for next Fri as that's the latest I can go (13+6) apparently before it needs to be done.

So I'm sitting here wondering if I should wait it out until then, and hope it happens naturally, or just get it over with. She's sounded a bit worried about me waiting it out to be honest, which equally scared me!

Rock and a hard place really now... I never even thought about the actually physical process of a miscarriage, just the emotional stuff. Baptism by fire I guess.

@Hopingforarainbow27 I had as much blood work as I could done and my scans were checked - uterus and ovaries appeared normal. I was told it was bad luck.... this time I'm taking aspirin though ( disclaimer: I'm not saying it's for everybody) but upon reading lots of other info and threads it won't do any harm ... for me...
i specifically asked about my blood work showing any clotting issues and it didn't ... and I'm hoping if I manage to conceive again I can speak to the GP regarding the progesterone help.... but both mine were silent/missed MC so I don't know if it would be an option for me ....