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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

986 replies

Sunbird24 · 20/10/2021 20:54

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

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8
claremc1983 · 03/12/2021 20:31

Urgh feeling super low again today...When does this get easier?? ( I found out 3 weeks ago today that I'd had a MMC) x

Skl2021 · 03/12/2021 20:52

@claremc1983 I think there must be something in the air today 😩🤦 I'm 6 weeks on from miscarriage have been doing ok but today for some reason just feel low and can't shake it. Thought I was getting somewhere and now feel like day 1 again. X

claremc1983 · 03/12/2021 21:03

@Skl2021 oh gosh I'm sorry you're feeling low as well...this is just the worse..I don't think the run up to Christmas is helping. I just want to hide away, supposed to be seeing a close friend tomorrow who is pregnant ( she was about a week ahead of me ) and I just can't face her, I feel awful and she's been in the same boat as me ( she had a MC last year) but I just can't face her being pregnant and I also don't want to take the shine off her pregnancy as well, it's not fair..I'm also feeling annoyed that I can't stop eating crap/drinking wine and I need to lose these pregnancy pounds as well..and I want to start trying again but I'm still spotting a little and that's annoying me! Angry

Skl2021 · 03/12/2021 21:09

@claremc1983 oh no it's a hard position to be in your happy for them but it totally hurts 💔 yes I keep saying well trying to eat better but it doesn't always happen! I have just had my first period since so now I'm waiting for ovulation. Im desperate to try again but also terrified. I decided to wait until after my period to try again but I did ovulate after my miscarriage so hopefully you will too 🤞 I think I ovulated a week after I stopped bleeding so u might not have too much longer to wait x

claremc1983 · 03/12/2021 21:27

@Skl2021 I'm so happy for her but my god it hurts...urgh I don't know what to do! I should probs wait for my next period but I'm panicking a bit about my age ( I'm 39 in Jan) and worry I'm getting on a bit so kind of feel like I don't have time on my side...how long did your bleeding last?? I've just a tiny bit of spotting but it's still there..also scared to trying again as well as I just don't know how I'd cope if it happens again....argh x

Skl2021 · 03/12/2021 21:31

@claremc1983 I would have started straight away like u but timing wasn't right but now with how long IV waited a bit of me wishes I did start straight away! I could of been pregnant now! If you feel ready then I'd say go for it! Have u had negative test tho? As it would be hard to tell new pregnancy from old if your still testing positive. It's always going to be scary no matter when u try! I'm terrified too but it's not stopping me I won't let it x

Skl2021 · 03/12/2021 21:33

@claremc1983 and sorry bleeding lasted just over two weeks from passing the pregnancy. However I was spotting for a week before that's why I had a ultrasound as I knew something wasn't right x

claremc1983 · 03/12/2021 22:22

Ahh ok @Skl2021 thanks for your reply. I tested again first thing this morning and had a v v faint line still..I'm hoping it goes in the next few days. Wishing you all the luck in the world going forwards. We'll get there..and can be anxious together! Confused x

1stTimeTina · 04/12/2021 21:27

@claremc1983 and @Skl2021 hope you’re both feeling a little better today, came on here just looking for people who understand, what you wrote is exactly how I’m feeling. The grief just keeps hitting unexpectedly. I’m so emotional and having a short fuse which is just not me at all. My husband was super understanding at first but seems to be getting less and less so as time goes on. Just feels like everyone expects you to be fine now and I’m just so far from it. Makes it feel even more lovely. I hate this.

Skl2021 · 04/12/2021 21:34

@1stTimeTina I'm not to bad today kept busy it just comes in waves! Hits you when you don't expect it. Take it day by day u will get there 💕 tomorrow is a new day hope u feel a bit better xx

claremc1983 · 04/12/2021 22:52

@1stTimeTina so sorry you're feeling the same, I've had a very weepy evening! Crying for no real reason..hoping to keep busy tomorrow and that'll help me, how long has it been since your MC? X

1stTimeTina · 05/12/2021 07:49

@claremc1983 it’s been three weeks since the procedure but about 7 weeks since it all began with bleeding etc. I just want to process it and be on my way but it’s just lingering! I can keep busy block it out and be ok in the moment but I find as soon as I slow down it all just catches up with me and intensifies . Hope you’re feeling a bit better today xxx

AdrianeMole · 05/12/2021 11:05

I am struggling . I haven't actually spoken to anyone by DP in the last 10 days since it happened, only a few people by text and now I can't even do that anymore. I know its not the right thing to do. I just want to hide

AdrianeMole · 05/12/2021 12:39

I am being dragged to the gym by DP, I know that will help.

BlueForYou3 · 05/12/2021 15:02

@AdrianeMole Sending you love Flowers I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hiding for a bit. The first 3 weeks I only saw my DH and Mum. It still took me 2 weeks till I felt up to seeing her and we’re really close. Take each day as it comes and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You need time to heal.

Doodledeedum · 05/12/2021 15:31

I agree with @BlueForYou3 , @AdrianeMole take your time ...
i had three weeks to get my head around it . Didn't leave the house unless absolutely necessary.... anyone that was going to see me had to come to me and even then I warned them I'd be shit company. Go easy on yourself x

AdrianeMole · 05/12/2021 16:14

Thanks so much @BlueForYou3 and @Doodledeedum, it really helps to know this is normal. The only place ive been is the gym. Just those few seconds after each weights rep I could feel the endorphins, I really notice it right now when I've been so unhappy. Maybe one good thing out of this will be some weight loss!
x

claremc1983 · 05/12/2021 18:06

Hope u are ok @AdrianeMole it's coming up to 3 weeks since my MC. Some days I can't leave the house and do nothing but cry. Others I'm able to get out. Exercise is helping as is talking to people. Grief seems to affect us all differently. Thinking of you x

AdrianeMole · 05/12/2021 19:38

Thank you @claremc1983. Thinking of all of you too x

Hayley220 · 05/12/2021 20:53

Hey how is everyone?
I had my erpc friday, i woul say I am just bleeding like a normal period at the mo but have passed a few small clots when going to the loo which is really worrying me about retained products. I went through a traumatic natural miscarriage over 4 years ago so thats why I chose the erpc this time, i am worried I will end up passing the sac if they didnt remove it friday. Maybe worrying too much and the bleeding means everything is clearing out. Sorry tmi! Xxx

Sparklesurprise29 · 06/12/2021 09:01

Hi everyone, unfortunately I had a MC at just over 8 weeks early yesterday morning. It happened naturally and I've to go for a scan on Thursday to check theres nothing there. Was in a bit of denial all week until I knew that was it, now I've had a sleep, it doesn't feel like it actually happened even though I know it did?
Do you contact your GP after it for tests or anything? I feel a bit confused about what to do, this was our first baby...
Thanks

AdrianeMole · 06/12/2021 09:56

Hi @Hayley220. I'm sorry that you had a traumatic miscarriage. I can't offer any medical advice but I was sort of worrying from the other side this week as I have had hardly any bleeding since my ERPC after the first few days. Maybe you could see what happens over the next few days to see if it tails off? I think the risk of them leaving products in is very rare. Hope it calms down for you.

Hi @Sparklesurprise29 so sorry for your loss. I'm not sure whether GP's so any tests after one miscarriage, they may well not. I would ask the nurses at your scan on Thursday. Or you could call your GP's surgery. My GP is pretty crap at the moment but I think they all are different.

xx

Tofu35 · 06/12/2021 10:57

Hey @Sparklesurprise29 I'm sorry for your loss. I would suggest you could call the EPU team and ask if there is anything for you to do before Thursday. When I had my confirmation scan, they took bloods then (but I didn't miscarry at home, it was in a&e so they took bloods then too).

If possible, the best thing you can do right now is rest and talk to whoever will give you and your partner that emotional support you need right now.

Tofu35 · 06/12/2021 11:02

Hey everyone, I think my period has returned today. Which is weird to be so excited about the one event that brought so much sadness and frustration while we were TTC!
The scan I had in the EPU said I still had a bit of material to pass and that would look like clots, so I'm trying to be gentle on myself today and remind myself that this is my body doing what it needs to do. Don't know if my emotions will agree with this gentleness, but we can wait and see.

AdrianeMole · 06/12/2021 11:10

@Sparklesurprise29 yes sorry I second Tufu35's advice to ask the EPU if they need to take bloods etc.
@Tofu35 that's good news that you are back on your normal cycle! Well done Star
My non linear recovery is quite the rollercoaster. Yesterday struggling to cope, followed by a gym session that was so much fun and then last night a feeling that I want to look forward and not be so sad anymore, which makes me slightly worried to crash again.

Argh