Please or to access all these features

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

986 replies

Sunbird24 · 20/10/2021 20:54

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Tofu35 · 02/12/2021 16:20

Hey @willow1981 I was on the university picket line this morning, so was wearing many layers!

If my pregnancy had went full term, I'd have been made redundant after 2 months of maternity leave. I finally chose to try and get pregnant because my contract was 3 years (yay security), but then I take 2 years to get pregnant (boo insecurity). Now if I get pregnant again, I have to hope they find more funding for me as my contract is up in September! Can't afford to wait for another 3 year contract to come along, so need to either suffer the financial hit or try and find a more stable job (but won't probably qualify for maternity pay).

Sorry for the rant! Hope the cake was good xx

AdrianeMole · 02/12/2021 18:11

Cake and a trip outside sounds good @Willow1981.
@Tofu35 I had a read about the protests after your post.
I was feeling a bit better yesterday had a haircut and trip to gym (had not been for months) but today has been a write off. Did a bit of work and the lay down in bed for no reason and only just got up again. Maybe this is the depressed part of grief not sure.
Hope everyone else is OK?

Willow1981 · 02/12/2021 18:45

Just got the post and there is a card from my DH's aunt.
She is very blunt but I really want to rip it up and put it in the bin!

Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!
AdrianeMole · 02/12/2021 18:51

Oh no @Willow1981. Although I suppose it is nicer to get something than not at all. My DP's parents were like, "well, these things happen". It just goes with the territory of being a bit older and taking a more sky view view of life. That and not having gone through it themselves.

Tofu35 · 02/12/2021 18:53

@adrianemole still have to attempt the gym again, but that sounds like you have a productive day. Hope you aren't beating yourself up over having a slower/lower day today, these weeks all come with their own daily challenges- often unexpected!

AdrianeMole · 02/12/2021 18:56

thank you @Tofu35, I felt like it sort of just hit me and I didn't have a choice, hope tomorrow will be better. Have sent DP out to buy ingredients for a martini and wondering if our local shop has dry vermouth...I live in hope.
Did anyone watch the Myleene Klass documentary about MC? I am wondering whether it's available anywhere online to stream

Willow1981 · 02/12/2021 19:00

@AdrianeMole I know she means it in a loving way but it's up there with my mums comment of 'It wasn't meant to be'.
I think both have read 'what not to say' and taken it the wrong way...
Love them both dearly.

Well done to everyone who has managed the gym. I got knackered on the 20 min walk to town..

AdrianeMole · 02/12/2021 19:10

It's hard isn't it, I am almost in fear of speaking to people about it as anything they say might hurt me.

Willow1981 · 02/12/2021 19:20

I saw my friend from work for a few minutes and she was so lovely but even that made me cry.
My sister is suggesting it is time to go back to work but I'm just not strong enough yet.

How did you know when you were ready to go back?

AdrianeMole · 02/12/2021 19:38

I can't answer that one because I am self employed, I am wfh all the time now. Hopefully someone else can comment.

AdrianeMole · 02/12/2021 19:53

I was still working in an office last MC, I didn't have any time off at all which was quite mad really and wrong but I hadn't told anyone apart from my boss. I kind of think you never feel ready to go back but going back helps as it's a distraction.
I did hear all different periods of absence on my recent support group call, it depends on how you are feeling I think

claremc1983 · 02/12/2021 20:43

@Willow1981 I cried down the phone to the GP on Monday and she's signed me off for 2 weeks ( it's coming up to 3 weeks since my MC). I just can't face work..it's a stressful job and the thought of trying to work is stressing me out. I just need to look after myself and put myself first which I never do...
@AdrianeMole I've just found the myleene docu on sky under the search function. It's worth a watch but did make me cry x

Tofu35 · 02/12/2021 20:53

I'm glad you're putting yourself first @claremc1983 xx

claremc1983 · 02/12/2021 21:44

@Tofu35 thank you. It's not something I ever do but I've realised at the moment work is wayyy down my priority list at the mo. How are you doing? X

BlueForYou3 · 02/12/2021 23:00

Hi, please can I join this thread? Flowers

I had a medically managed MMC 4 weeks ago at 10 weeks (baby was only measuring 8 weeks with no heartbeat). My emotions are still up and down from the experience so it would be lovely to have a safe space to talk where people understand how I’m feeling. I’m trying my best to return to some normality but when I take a moment to stop and reflect on what’s happened I feel completely overwhelmed with grief. I think deep down I quite like the pain and sadness it brings as it’s a tangible reminder that I was pregnant and did lose my baby Sad

Sunbird24 · 02/12/2021 23:13

@BlueForYou3, sorry to hear about your loss, come on in and vent away 💐

OP posts:
Willow1981 · 02/12/2021 23:16

Hi @BlueForYou3
Sorry you are going through this.
I totally understand. The grief is a link to the baby and I get that it is all you feel you have. I feel the same. I'm a long way behind you time wise and can't face real life yet.

AdrianeMole · 02/12/2021 23:29

So sorry for you loss @BlueForYou3. Flowers
Grief is from love. We loved our babies xx
I think it's probably necessary and important to let the sadness out

Doodledeedum · 03/12/2021 00:32

@BlueForYou3 I'm so sorry for your loss, welcome x

And my goodness I feel /felt exactly the same about the pain... means it happened. Maybe not with us anymore but it means it all happened and existed.....

BlueForYou3 · 03/12/2021 05:30

Thank you for the kind words everyone Flowers

BlueForYou3 · 03/12/2021 06:02

@Willow1981 I took 3 weeks off work (self certified for 7 days then had a 2 week sick note from the GP). The first 2 weeks I was in a lot of discomfort and bleeding heavily. By the third week I started to feel physically better in myself and tried to enjoy and appreciate the time off to begin to emotionally recover. The next stage for me was to see how I managed returning to work. My managers been incredibly understanding and made it clear there was no expectation that things would go ‘back to normal’ just because I’d returned to work. I’ve been struggling with anxiety some days, mainly because I’m so worried that I’m going to burst into tears in front of someone with little warning. I’m glad I’m back though as it’s helping me return to some normality. It’s always going to be difficult going back to work and you’re going to have good days and bad days when you do. I hope that helps Flowers

Tofu35 · 03/12/2021 09:17

I saw this on Instagram and thought it would be nice to share here x

Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!
Onebabyandamadcat · 03/12/2021 12:31

I've had quite a week. Went in on Tuesday for medical management then got told as they were preparing the pills that were was space for the MVA the following day. Went in on Wednesday for the MVA, Dr was the same one who did my last one and was very nice. Scanned me and the pregnancy was there, strated prepping me and numbing my cervix before stopping and removing a huge clot which she now thinks was the pregnancy as she scanned me again and it seems to be gone. She's asked me to come back in on Monday to be scanned again to double check. By then this will have been going on for five weeks 🤦.

I felt like I was ok. I've been talking about it all very matter of factly and felt like I was ok. Then a big trip for work was cancelled yesterday at the last minute and I got really upset (thankfully still off so only got upset to myself). I think my resilience has taken a battering. I was planning on going back to work on Monday all going well but I'm a teacher and I'm now a bit worried that I'm not ready to throw myself into the full school Christmas build up - nativity plays and parties and food bank drives and stuff. I think I'll take one more week.

Spoke to my Dr yesterday and he's signed me off for four weeks but I don't want that long. He also sent me for what felt like a million blood tests today - iron, b12, folate, thyroid, blood sugar, hormones and a few other things. I also asked him to "yellow card"(I think that's the term) this to astrazeneca. Whilest I don't think the vaccine caused my miscarriages, I can't shake the thought that my first pregnancy was perfectly fine but now following my jags I've had two Miscarriages. I'm also miscarriages 9 and 10 in my friendship group over the past year - all vaccinated with the same vaccine. I fully get that I'm just looking for something to blame but my Dr agreed that there's no harm flagging it.

Willow1981 · 03/12/2021 14:43

I've been signed off for 2 weeks from Monday. A relief that I don't need to decide when to go to work just yet.

AdrianeMole · 03/12/2021 15:46

@Willow1981 that sounds like good news. You can just relax and focus on yourself for two weeks x
@Onebabyandamadcat sorry that you're having so many appointments. It does sound good to be having all those tests done x