Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Meant did feel emotionally up and down @HotCupOfNo*

Thank you so much

@PapaSierra yes I definitely understand after the initial few weeks people stop asking or say glad your better or just don't acknowledge it anymore. Meanwhile your living it every day as it was your body it happened to and your baby that sadly lost.
It's one of the major issues with miscarriage people stop talking about it so then it feels even more lonely and that somehow you're being unreasonable to still be thinking of it......

I think it's important to remember that just because people don't vocalise (often because they don't know how) it doesn't mean that they have forgotten especially those close to you. There seems to be a British thing of not focusing on what's happened. This works for some people but often not for others.

The light bulb moment for me was my counsellor saying do you hear the amount of pressure your putting on yourself to somehow be OK after x number of weeks when in reality grieving and trauma process is slower.
I started focusing on each day, doing something for me be it a small little victory and am slowly improving when I compare week by week.

Take each day, speak with your GP and remember that trauma as a result of miscarriage is a known issue. Your not alone

@AlbiMix haha something I never thought I’d experience but why not! Are you in lots of pain? I can’t work out whether the pain is from the infection or the period? I usually have painful periods though.

Are you going to try this cycle? I’ve bought some ovulation tests and am supposed to wait to have a biopsy but I’m going to see if my gynae will prescribe letrozole for me to start this cycles. If not I’m going to try anyway!

Morning everyone. So I have my D&C tomorrow - hoping it goes smoothly. I think I'm having a scan first to check the retained product hasn't shifted first.

I had my call with the GP today and she was nice and seemed proactive. She's referring me for blood tests and will try and get me in with the recurrent miscarriage clinic so fingers crossed. She seemed really helpful which is good.

Will get on and order ubiquinol and other supplements today and book my acupuncture for a few weeks time too.

Just hope it might be third time lucky 🤞 - at least I feel like I'm doing something positive at least.

@HotCupOfNo got back home around 9:30pm last night. Resting up today and the Hubby is making sure I don't lift a finger bless him ☺️ physically I'm fine its just mentally im
Just very emotional and i have no hope 😞

@Badlydrawngirly you and me both 😂
I wasn't getting much pain initially, just quite heavy bleeding, but just today my pain is increasing, not unbearable. Sorry you're in pain - where was the infection? Wondering if it feels like period pain or if it's a different kind of pain if that makes sense?

I am thinking that I will try again this month, the only thing I'm worried about is my second dose of covid vaccine. I'm leaning towards trying and if I'm lucky enough to conceive would delay the second dose. I should have some protection from the first...I also have bought opks, might start trying them. Is the biopsy linked with the infection? Do you have an NHS gynae or is it private?

@DappledOliveGroves best of luck for tomorrow!! Glad the GP is being helpful :)

@AlbiMix

He suspected an infection in my uterus or right tube (I only have one) or both but my swabs came back clear (probably because I was already on antibiotics). I’ve had pain on and off since the surgery and I’m on my second course of antibiotics. I’ve had so much codeine I feel permanent spaced out!

To be honest I’m not sure whether the pain is a mix of both period and infection pain now.

I see him on the nhs and privately. My health insurance covers some visits (including complications following the miscarriage) but we will have to pay for any fertility treatment with him. The Dr I saw at the EPU about my infection was a bit too relaxed about everything and it seems like they gave me the wrong antibiotics so I’ve decided to follow up privately as my gynae isn’t at the EPU every day.

I don’t know if he will let me have the letrozole when I see him tomorrow as I think he wanted me to have some blood tests first but he knows how desperate I am to get pregnant again!

The biopsy is for NK cells which we both suspect are high for me. Thinking about it they could do a test for any infection at the same time! I’ll mention that to him.

I suspect he’s going to say to not ttc this month and get all the tests out of the way but I am impatient and I think I ovulated after the ERPC so already missed an egg!

Hi guys,

I had some general blood tests done and my Thyroid (TSH) is 3.2
Some ladies were talking about going gluten free and even 3.2 is within normal range it is a bit high for ttc.
@AMS19 I think you mentioned this too.
Are you planning a follow up blood test... if so, when do you think?

Hi ladies

Sorry I stepped away from MN to clear my head a bit!

@birdbybird mine was 2.7 first time then 3.2 the second time. I'm going for another test on 22nd for a follow up. I.must say I'm not 100% strict on the gluten free diet. I Avoid all food with gluten in it, but don't avoid foods that might have been prepared around gluten. I'll let you know if it's worked though when I get my results!

@AlbiMix how's the book? It is still in my basket so will leave getting it then!

Lots of love to everyone xx

@Badlydrawngirly sorry you did say about the NK cells in another post, I forgot. Good that you're having plenty of investigations. Have you been able to find out the reasons for past losses (i.e. have you had any lab results from MC tissues)?

Re: your pain, if your period stops but you're still in pain it sounds like you should maybe get it checked again if you've finished the antibiotics? Ongoing pain is really not ideal on top of the emotional burden, I hope it lets up soon for you. I also have a feeling I may have ovulated soon after the MC, but I'm trying not to think of it as a missed opportunity because I think if I got pregnant I'd find it stressful not knowing how big the baby should be etc. Also I need to get my thyroid levels checked.

Which brings me onto @birdbybird question. I take thyroxine as I had half my thyroid removed years ago. I had a blood test a week pre miscarriage which surprisingly showed I was slightly overactive rather than under, which is opposite of the usual expectation. I'm having a blood test done in 10 days to check current levels. Apparently TSH should be below 2.5 for pregnancy ideally.

@AMS19 hope you've managed to get some mental space. I'm really enjoying the book, I've already learned a lot. It's quite fascinating stuff, lots of info on the different possible causes of miscarriage. Just finished a super interesting bit about genetics.

I would definitely recommend it in the sense that I feel it's teaching me things that can help me ask the right questions in future - e.g. when you Google stuff you might learn that something can happen , but with this book it explains the details/context so you might learn that actually for you in your circumstances, that thing is unlikely to be an issue. Does that make sense? And potentially it'll help me not freak out about things that are unlikely to affect me.

It's very sciency and technical. I think it does a good job of explaining complex information for a layperson to understand, so if you think this sounds like it'll be useful for you I would wholeheartedly recommend.

@PapaSierra I can completely understand where you are coming from with work, but you can't pour from an empty cup. Your team need you better not broken, and you get better with self compassion and love for yourself and to take the time you need to heal. I couldn't even go for a coffee today with my dad because I just don't feel
able to pretend I'm normal. The only person I really want to be around is my mum and that's because she's in my bubble and can come into my house and I don't have to do anything other than sit on my sofa. You'll get there lovely, we all will eventually, and I know it's a cliche but time will help.

@Badlydrawngirly @AlbiMix Thankyou I'm glad it's normal. I started crying out of the blue at a cash machine today. I'm just gonna roll with it and give myself some space and time and maybe visit less cash machines!

Thanks @AlbiMix really interesting. It Starts With The Egg is like that and I loved it, would highly recommend!

Time is absolutely a healer. I remember feeling so lost and overwhelmed by it all. I’m 9 weeks post mc and every week I get better. We are ttc again so only time will tell how my emotions are if we don’t fall pregnant relatively soon xxx

Hi ladies,
I'm wondering if I can join please? I've been reading this board for a few days knowing that I'd be here soon. It's incredibly comforting knowing that I'm not the only one going through this (although I'm so sorry that you all are too!)
I posted last week after having an early scan which showed I was 2 weeks behind. The EPU were so reassuring, I saw a heartbeat (my partner wasn't allowed in) and everyone said there was nothing to worry about but I knew something wasn't right. I started bleeding this afternoon but I haven't phoned the EPU yet. I'm guessing they'll just tell me to keep an eye on it and call back when it gets worse? I feel weirdly calm about it now, I'm glad I'm not in limbo anymore. Trying to prepare for the worst but also stay hopeful was really hard. It's also a relief that my partner is sad too so I don't feel like I'm coping with this alone. Until today he'd been hopelessly optimistic and thought I was a bit silly for worrying so much when we'd been told everything was fine which was really annoying.
I'm not sure what to expect now? It's just brown blood at the moment but the cramping is getting worse. Today was my worst day of morning sickness which is a bit confusing. My boobs still hurt and I still feel pregnant. I would have thought that would all stop before the mc started?
Sorry for the long post. This is my first pregnancy and mc :( xx

@Flopsy88 welcome and I'm sorry you're on this board. I had similar - measuring behind, minimal growth and a slow heartbeat which meant that the outcome was bleak.

I had brown spotting throughout and then about 10 days ago I started bleeding like a period, which got heavier and with clots over the course of the week.

Hope you're ok. Do you have practical stuff like strong painkillers if you need them, and horrible giant sanitary towels?

Hi @AlbiMix

I’m going to mention the fact that the pain hasn’t gone away when I see my gynae tomorrow. Not sure what else he can do but I’m quite worried.

We’ve not managed to have cytogenetic testing before but hopefully will get results from this last loss. We had karyotype testing that was normal and we also found out I have a prothrombin gene mutation so I’m on aspirin and heparin from a BFP. I’m also on progesterone. I’m hypothyroid but that’s relatively controlled.

I have a feeling the last loss was chromosomal but I could be wrong.

Hopefully the steroids will do the trick next time (fingers crossed we get there again!)

@DappledOliveGroves I hope tomorrow goes ok. I had the loveliest nurse looking after me and she made the whole experience bearable. I got to meet my surgeon first so if you have any questions you should have the opportunity to ask them. I just wanted to make sure they would do the cytogenetic testing.

@Flopsy88 I’m so sorry you’ve had to join us. I hope you have everything you need and support from your OH. Practical things like painkillers and lots of comfort food are also good suggestions.

Hi @SamBass

I’m glad you’re doing ok physically. Mentally just give yourself time.

Flopsy88 sorry you find yourself here and going through this.

Badlydrawngirly I hope you get those result and have everything crossed that all the interventions mean you next PFB results in a sticky, health baby.

SamBass give yourself time on the emotional side and just do what you need to do for now. It takes time to heal.

DappledOliveGroves good luck today. I hope it all goes smoothly.

@DappledOliveGroves hope it goes well today. @Flopsy88 sorry you have had to join us - I second or third having some ibuprofen around, and I used maternity pads as frustratingly they are super soft and absorbent if you can bring yourself to buy them/it's not too triggering :( also a good series on Netflix and lots of snacks that you really like.

Sorry I've been quiet last couple of days I have been reading along but not had much to say! Small victory this morning- took a preg test and it was negative I'm 99% sure maybe the faintest of lines so I guess that's a good sign? It's rubbish to be taking one hoping for a negative but at least we can start to try and look to the future now. Would like to ttc straight away so am going to monitor ovulation and guess we'll just see what happens. Only had one spotting episode yesterday and day before so I'm hopeful bleeding is now pretty much done. Hope everyone's days go smoothly x

Hi @Flopsy88 I'm sorry you've had to join but I hope you find some comfort in this thread like I had. I had a similar situation, a scan at 8 weeks, had been bleeding a few days and they said baby was measuring 6 and no HB. They said to return in a week as the dates could be wrong but I knew they weren't and knew I was miscarrying. It sounds like you're doing well mentally/emotionally. Physically my MC was painful but not unbearably so. You can get cocodamol OTC if you feel paracetamol isn't cutting it. My bad pain lasted around three days, including a day of quite bad pain after I passed the sac, but after that i recovered quickly and the bleeding lasted maybe 10 days start to finish. If you have any Qs let me know :)

@Badlydrawngirly in glad you're getting the cytogenetic testing from the last MC, at least you're getting ingorma out of the situation. I really hope it will yield helpful results.

I'm still really enjoying the Lesley Regan book. Interestingly she says a study she did showed a much lower risk of miscarriage in first pregnancies (which is against previous research) which made me feel a bit upset, if it's true I was in the unlucky 5% 😭

kiwi17 good news on the negative test and almost non-existent bleeding.

I think my question got lost yesterday, so sorry for repeating, but has anyone found their bleeding tailed off then increased a bit? Mine had virtually stopped, and turned into brownish spotting, but over the past few days I’m noticing quite a bit of reddish blood when I wipe (sorry if TMI). I’m 8 days post surgery and it’s 13 days since I had the Medical procedure if that makes a difference.

Thanks @Miscarriage39 Now I'm feeling grumpy because it should be my 12 week scan tomorrow and instead I'm 'celebrating' a negative test 😣 there's no winning here is there?! I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you as I did the expectant management so hopefully someone else will have some suggestions? Could it be just some more lining shifting? Or an infection but I wouldn't have thought that unless you have other symptoms? Have you tried calling EPU? Hope you get some answers soon 🤞