Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

Hi everyone just catching up with the new thread.

@HotCupOfNo I’m going through t same with my DH. I’ve felt that work has been his priority throughout this and it’s caused arguments. We had our first session with a counsellor on Tuesday. I told him I feel like there’s nothing left for me as at the end of the day he’s so tired and just wants to complain about his job. I know what it’s like to have a busy stressful job too but his colleagues kept telling him to spend time with and prioritise me and I just felt like he didn’t. He sees it that I’m doing nothing all day as I’m off work. I’ve tried to explain I’m in lots of pain and feeling emotionally and physically broken.

It sounds like you’ve got a lot of added pressure looking after your other children. If anyone could help you out I would definitely give yourself a break.

@Miscarriage39 what brilliant advice about setting goals low and building up slowly, thanks for sharing. I think I've involuntarily been doing that in the sense of not expecting too much from myself emotionally (for other people) right now.

@Badlydrawngirly could it be that he could be avoiding the subject because he's scared to talk about it or share his real feelings? I think sometimes men especially (but all of us) hide behind something (e.g. his work?) to avoid tackling the more difficult issue. I may be talking out of my arse here but just a thought. Sending so many positive thoughts your way and to @HotCupOfNo

@AMS19 I found the book I meant! It's this by Lesley Regan: www.amazon.co.uk/Miscarriage-What-every-Woman-needs/dp/0752837575?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It gets good reviews overall but opinion seems divided. Apparently it's quite "clinical" and not particularly emotional, and that seems to work for some people but not others. Anyway just thought I'd mention it because the positive reviews are glowing, but maybe it's not for everyone.

Happy Friday ladies!

Sorry @HotCupOfNo just realised you said you had a counselling session, I'm sure they are helping you get to the bottom of it all. This is just a shit time for everyone involved I think, I thought my OH was doing ok and had just got over it but the other night he broke down because of how powerless he said he felt and how tough it was seeing me in pain. It's so hard to communicate about these things...

Argh meant to tag @Badlydrawngirly instead for the above. TGIF!

Thanks @AlbiMix. I know my DH is very sad about what happened but he said he doesn’t want to focus on it and asked if I could give myself a break from thinking about it. I said not really as I needed to process everything.
I’m hoping the counselling will help us work through everything.

Ahh thanks so much @AlbiMix for £3 it's worh a shot isn't it! I'll give it a go and report back xx

@AMS19 No probs, I think I might give it a try too. The negative reviews say that it's too clinical and it seems like some people found that upsetting. I think I would probably find the educational aspect of it quite helpful and I think I'm ok with a book that is more scientific and less spiritual as long as you know that's how it is. I saw a comment from someone on MN who said they enjoyed that book and they also mention the TTC book you have 👍

@Badlydrawngirly sounds like you're on the right track to work through things. I hope you have a restful weekend

How's everyone doing on this horrid windy stormy morning? My small victory this morning was waking up for the first time in a week with almost nothing on the pad... fingers crossed it's starting to easing off from the worst of the bleeding!

Kiwi17 fingers crossed for you. How are you feeling today?

I thought I was having a good morning, then nearly fainted. DH took my blood pressure, which had really dropped, so called 111 (as the ward I was treated on shuts at weekends). The doctors think it’s probably Anaemia and asked when I am having follow-up bloods. Nothing was mentioned about that when I left hospital, so I’ll call my GP on Monday. For now, I’m back on the sofa, which I’m a bit peeved about, as I felt a bit mentally stronger earlier and was playing with the kids before this.

On another note, I know there was some discussion in here about COVID vaccinations, but I don’t remember anyone having this exact question. Sorry, though, if this is repetitive. I have just had an email inviting me to book my COVID vaccination on the basis that I have an underlying health issue. Other than all of this, I don’t. I had something in the past that would have made me eligible, but I’ve been recovered for over a decade, so shouldn’t be that. Has anyone else had this? (Looks genuine, as links to the official site).

Oh no @Miscarriage39 that's so frustrating! How are you feeling now? Can you take iron tablets to help? I haven't been offered any blood tests at all. I'm feeling ok was a bit crampy again this morning but still very little coming out and it's now pinkish rather than bright red. Hopefully that's a good sign! In terms of the vaccine I'm way off being offered it but I know that brother in law was offered it because he was got hospitalised ages ago for a lung/chest infection thing that was really severe so they said that makes him higher risk even though it was years ago? Maybe it's something like that? If you phone the number to book they may tell you why?

@Miscarriage39 oh no hope you feel better soon!

I know some friends have gone up the list due to having gestational diebetes when they were pregnant as diebetes has now been flagged at putting people at serious risk. Despite my friends no longer being diabetic after birth they were advised by their GP to keep the earlier vaccination date as their bodies had already shown an issue with it in the past.

There are a lot of people who get seriously ill having insulin difficulties and becoming diabetic as a result.

Its probably that the condition you had has been flagged as potentially putting you a greater risk of serious illness with covid. If your happy to have the vaccination then keep the appointment

I however got bumped down the list as they changed the asthma criteria and I fell off the list! 😂

Thanks Kiwi17 and Scottishskufun, I am feeling much better now. I am on iron, but apparently it can take a while to work, and the dr from 111 pointed out I will have lost more blood since I was prescribed it, so it might only be counterbalancing rather than increasing my levels at the moment. My friend has just popped by with some flowers and chocolate, which cheered me up too.

Yes, maybe that does explain the vaccine invite. I hadn’t expected to get to the top of the list for months, but guess it makes sense to have it if I can. I’ve been reading up, and it seems it would still be okay to TTC if we decide to, even if before the second dose. I am sorry you got bumped down the list Scottishskifun. I think DH did too!

Kiwi17, that does sound a good sign.

Thanks for starting the new thread.

I had my first Covid vaccine yesterday - looked at the laminate card asking about risk factors - 'could you be pregnant?' and confirmed no. Have a post-vaccine headache now and still bleeding sizeable clots. It's literally like birthing slugs 🙄.

Other than that, going to make some recipes that are on my nutritionist's website - there's a nice looking granola. Trying to focus on eating well and losing weight and hoping that it might be third time lucky if I get pregnant again.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Hi everyone, sorry @Miscarriage39 about your setback, maybe you just need to take it easy for a little bit longer ❤️

Like @DappledOliveGroves I've also had my vaccine, had it around a week post MC, I'm I'm the vulnerable category due to an ongoing condition. I have seen stories of people being offered the vaccine and not knowing why. My concern about the vaccine now is that I wanted to TTC straight away but don't know what to do about the second dose. I had a high fever after the first and have heard the second is worse, I'm worried if I was pregnant it could risk another miscarriage. What are you think about that?

@kiwi17 great news your bleeding is letting up! I'm still waiting for my period, keep getting tiny spotting but still isn't really a period. It's a bit triggering as it's similar bleeding to the starting of the MC :(

@AlbiMix I was going to speak to GP and see if there's any scope for getting second dose more quickly in the event I do get pregnant again. If not then I guess I'll postpone the second dose until after any pregnancy. One dose at least offers a level of protection.

DappledOliveGroves I am really admiring your pro-activity with regards to diet etc. What other recipes are you planning to try? I hope you can sort your second dose being done sooner, but as you say, even one should offer some protection.

AlbiMix I can understand your concern about having the second dose. Could you potentially skip the second dose if you suspect you may be pregnant when it comes round?

I think we have worked out why I got the text. Apparently there are high risks associated with anaemia, so I’m assuming that’s it. Will still double check with GP on Monday, as would hate to jump the queue without good reason.

Morning ladies. Just a message to say for those who are mummies Happy Mother's Day. And for those of us who aren't yet, one day it will be our turn ❤

Thanks for the new thread, just catching up. Happy Mother's Day to those who already have babies and happy "should have been" Mother's Day to the rest of us. I just want to stay in bed and cry/hide today. DP yesterday went in a huff because I said I didn't want to go see his parents today. He said "you can't hide forever" and this morning has said "what are you so depressed about". After him being so good to now forgetting everything a week on. I had surgery last Friday 5th and was signed off work by GP this week. I have spent the whole weekend just feeling even more awful and constantly thinking about going back on Monday. I hate my job, I have a horrible toxic work environment with an awful boss. Worst part is I got a new job but turned it down cause between interview and job offer I found out I was pregnant. I'm so behind with my work because of being so sick when pregnant which I told them about for that reason and was offered no support then obviously any days I've been in in the last couple of weeks haven't been very productive and because I've been off they've now found out how behind I am and now I'm stressing I'm going to be fired when I go back. Sorry for the moan. I just can't take any more.

@AMS19 that’s lovely ❤️ I have to admit seeing all the Mother’s Day posts today put a lump in my throat, but we will get our rainbow babies ❤️

Hello lovely ladies, Thankyou for your messages on Friday they really boosted me. OH and I put down our phones and had some time just us and DD Friday night and yesterday and it's been so good for us. We had a big chat and whilst I don't think we've 'resolved' much, we feel much closer to each other and actually laughed properly yesterday for the first time in months.

@SamBass sorry if it was a weird question about Monday! I went to say I was glad that you could be seen so soon but then realised maybe that didn't feel soon to you at all. I'm thinking of you ❤️

Happy Mother's Day to everyone here, we are all mummy's, you are all such an amazing bunch xxxxx

@HotCupOfNo honesty its no problem at all I understand what you meant and it is sooner than I expected as i know how busy the EPU is.

Hi, I had a missed miscarriage and needed to have it removed by MVA. It’s not 68 days ago since the MVA (nearly 10 weeks!!) and I still haven’t had my period.... has anyone else experienced such a long wait?? 😭

@Helpneededmva mine was 9 weeks so not far off! Have you checked your pregnancy tests are negative? Id contact the EPU and GP again if I were you

@justwant2beamum so sorry your other half is being a prat lovely. Sending you lots of love. I hope you're having some Prosecco with your lunch today xxxx