Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

I took 3 days off work, i wasn't ready to go back but I I've been in a bee job for a month so I felt I had something to prove. It was hard to be back so soon, but at the same time I think it stopped me wallowing xx

Hi all can I join please.Hope all is well!
I'm 34 and have dc.
In January this year I had a termination due to medial issues and bled for a few months after my ovulation/periods returned in May and
I got pregnant again in in July. I sadly had a miscarriage last week and I'm devastated. I was 5 weeks. Im in the obese bmi category even though I'm not massive. I've been through lots of stress and anxiety lately too and I know I need to lose weight and cut out the stress
Etc

I'm still bleeding quite heavy as this one is taking natures course I keep blaming myself for all the things I've done before I knew I was pregnant, I drank alcohol took ibuprofen eat rare steak I am overweight. Currently off work too. ! Xx

@pureofmind I'm sorry you find yourself here too 💐 you didn't cause your miscarriage 💐

@Sunbird24 I've been off a while now as I had the surgery 2 weeks 5 days after finding out the pregnancy hadn't developed (in that time I had 3 blood tests, 3 scans, and tried medical management).
I listen to people's personal / emotional problems on the phone so I need to be in a reasonable head space for that. It's a really good point about grieving versus wallowing. Part of me wants to hide forever, but I definitely take on board that it won't actually help me after a certain point.

@pureofmind I’m so sorry.
But @CurbsideProphet is completely right. You did not cause your miscarriage. It is easy to blame yourself. But that is not why.

Hi all, I am currently having a miscarriage at nine weeks. I found out there was no heartbeat last week following a few days of bleeding. It's one of the worst things I've ever been through, physically and emotionally. I am unsure how long to take off work, I've been off since Thursday when I found out. I've got a check up tomorrow to see if I need medical/surgical intervention but hopefully not. Sending strength and solidarity to all on this thread xx

Hi

So sorry to hear you are all going through this. This is my first post and can't find too much to help on the internet so wondered if anyone was in a similar situation.
I found out I was pregnant with my second baby mid Feb. No pain but had some spotting mid April (I worked out based on last cycle I was 11 weeks and a couple of days, 12 week scan booked for a couple of weeks later). I went to the EPU for a scan and found out baby stopped growing between 5/6 weeks. We were sent home for a week and I walked miles to try and get miscarriage to start naturally - it didn't work.

Opted for medical management at home which we went to collect at EPU on 22 April, took on 23 April. Miscarriage happened however following pregnancy tissue coming out I couldn't stand without bleeding heavily (gush) and large clots. I couldn't get off the toilet. After several calls to the hospital ended up in A&E with pregnancy tissue stuck in cervix. They managed to get it out and control the bleeding. They think I lost 30% of overall bloods. A scan showed at that point no retained tissue, healthy organs and no reason why we couldn't be successful next time.
6 weeks post miscarriage no period so took a pregnancy test which showed positive. Have had my HcG levels monitored until mid July where although it was coming down albeit slow. I had enough at that point and decided to do a standard (non digital) test which showed negative so they discharged me.
I have had 3 periods, I would say last 2 are not normal for me. And spotting especially the last 2 months, I've just discovered it looks like I spotted last month and now around ovulation. This month's period feels like it was more normal.
The last blood test was showing HcG at 14 and it was taking roughly 2 weeks to fall by half so I think now it will be less than 5.

Despite being told not to do a digital test I did one after the spotting last month which still showed pregnant, non-digital ones are negative. My cycle looks to be 28 days.
I have a doctor's appointment today (I can't go back to EPU, it's been months since I was pregnant!) The doctor thinks it's hormones probably.
I just wondered if anyone had gone through anything similar? And also looking for a bit hope. I'm late 30's now and have a beautiful boy who is nearly 2. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up trying for baby no 2 as yet.
Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post and too much information!

Sorry I can’t help @Lookingforhope84 but I would persevere with your gp. I think things can take time to settle down, but I’m baffled as to how long that should be or any guidance as to any of it.
Sorry. Take care

One of my friends has just announced in our group chat that she’s 24 weeks pregnant, with a scan picture. I’m really happy for her but also completely broken, this group don’t know about my latest miscarriage and now it would be too awkward to say anything.

@Sunbird24 I'm sorry there's nothing I can say to make it better for you 💐💖 It's so painful when other women are easily and happily pregnant without a care in the world while we're not. It's not their fault, but christ it hurts.

How is everyone doing ? All my love n hugs to all the mamas that are going through it !
I know it's very early on but has anyone thought about trying again ? I am hurting so much, It's all I seem to think about 😪 but this is my 2nd miscarriage in 8'months! I have to body and mind a break! Im
Thinking of summer/autumn next year a holiday! Il be 35 by the time I try again and this scares the life out of me however!

Xx

@pureofmind I’m 35 already and feel like time is slipping away from me.

All we can do is keep on keeping on.

@pureofmind I’m 43 and doing this solo as I know I don’t have time to find someone and do it all the traditional way - it may already be too late for me! With 3 embryos left I’m definitely going to try again, but I need to wait for the test results from the most recent MC to see if they show anything we can use to improve my chances. I had been reading all the threads from people hating motherhood and calling it the biggest mistake of their lives, and wondering if I’m doing the right thing, but my reaction to my friend’s news yesterday has proved to me that it is something I really do want.
Honestly don’t worry about being 35, it may be older than you expected or hoped to be doing this, but it’s definitely not too old.

@Sunbird24 and @pureofmind best of luck and I hope you get some answers from your recent miscarriage Sunbird that make the next round more successful. Pureofmind 35 is defo still doable, and I hope you are successful when you do try again. Sunbird I know you said you can't speak to your friends with their recent news, not maybe the one who is pregnant but you could speak to one of your other friends and ask them not to say anything? Speaking to someone defo helps alot of the time. If not those friends maybe someone else?

Hi everyone, just found out today at my 12w scan that baby has no heartbeat since approx 7 weeks. First time MC and just feeling overwhelmed really, helpful to read your stories.

So sorry @Clearbloo

Thanks @Sunbird24

So sorry @Clearbloo, sending hugs, it's so hard to hear and to see. There are no words, I found lots of comments on this thread helpful and comforting hope you do too.

@Lookingforhope84 definitely, guess its just nice to know that others feel the same as you although no one wants to be part of this particular "club"! Now to look at next steps/procedure I guess 😔 hugs and thoughts go out to you all.

@Clearbloo I am so sorry, I can't even find any words that will help. If you need anything we are here to listen ❤️

@Clearbloo 💐💐 you're right, it really is the worst club. I'm so very sorry you're going through this. It's very sad.

Hopefully this is helpful :
I found the Miscarriage Association website explains everything very well. I had surgical management 3 weeks ago and (failed) medical management 10 days before that, so do come back to the thread if you want to hear about my experience. It wasn't scary.

Evening all , how are you all doing. I'm being stung daily by seeing social media people announcing their pregnancy etc and I think that should have been me soon!😪 to top it off yesterday I had a withheld phone number ting me a woman said ' hi I'm your midwife from your surgery just calling to book you in for your booking appointment'

I was 😶 I had no words😓 I told her I had miscarriaed and do the nhs not share info with diff departments? Not her fault I said but come on ! I was just in hospital a week ago ! X

I think I've gone onto survival mode and I'm feeling like it's not hit me yet x hope everyone doing a bit better today 💐

@Clearbloo despite being a horrible club it does have the loveliest members! I know you’ll probably want to deal with all the practical stuff and focus on that, but please do allow yourself time and space to grieve as well, it’s so important to acknowledge that you lost something incredibly precious and it fucking sucks.

@pureofmind oh no that’s awful, I bet she was mortified! I got a call from the EPU the morning of my scheduled surgery (the Tuesday after the bank holiday weekend) as they obviously hadn’t checked my notes and seen that I’d had it done as an emergency through A&E on the Saturday night. Can kind of understand that one as they were closed over the weekend and I was due in first thing, but to call you a whole week after your miscarriage when they must have pulled up your notes to get your phone number?? Either someone didn’t update your notes or the midwife didn’t read them at all. I’m so sorry.

@pureofmind Im so sorry, that's awful and say
I can relate.... my first miscarriage I was called two weeks after the event for my booking appointment and after my second I was sent a letter inviting me to a 12 week scan. It felt so insensitive. I hope you're ok xx

@pureofmind 💐💖
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I feel your pain on being bombarded with pregnancies and babies 😔
I had self referred to maternity at 6 weeks as they request and downloaded the app they use. At 7.5weeks I had my IVF scan and found out the pregnancy wasn't viable. DH rang maternity services and told them, but I still got emails from the app about my booking appointment (while I was going through medical and surgical management). The maternity department had forgotten to click the right box to remove me from the system.
I completely appreciate that the NHS is very busy, but really there should be the highest standard of care for miscarriage and not silly mistakes 😔
I'm emailing PALS today about my experience. I feel like it's important to say some of the care was very good, but some of the process was very upsetting and should be improved.