Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 4. ALL welcome!

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Previous Thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4166715-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-3-ALL-welcome?pg=1

The maternity clinic called to confirm my first appointment (I would have been 13 weeks). I told them I need to cancel and they asked why. I told them I had a miscarriage. WOW. Even saying those words out loud made me feel like I was stabbed in the heart.

@Tiredandobsessed mine is not dissimilar although not as heavy sounding or painful. I had old blood very light for two days, the a couple of days bright red and last night a massive clot. I rang the EPAU as soon as it got heavier as it didn’t seem right to me that I was going backwards. I would ring yours. So much better safe than sorry.

@graciepoo it’s shit. I rang to cancel mine as soon as I could (the following Monday morning). The midwife was pleasant enough but very businesslike. I am supposed to be 12 weeks on Sunday, when we would have told our families and it’s so shit to think about. I’m so sorry.

@graciepoo I've just had my first period as well. Was absolutely rubbish for me too. When I had the scan to confirm the miscarriage the midwife said she would cancel all my upcoming appointments, which she did... but then I got an email saying they had been rescheduled so had to call up anyway and broke down crying when they asked why. It's not easy, is it?

@lulumam that's interesting about recording it. I assume that since my jab was a month before we conceived it wouldn't necessarily be counted?

I ask myself everyday if it’s going to get better. Dark times.

@graciepoo It's such early days still, don't be so hard on yourself. Things will get better (this is the mantra I keep repeating to myself) but for now you need to accept the emotions & feel them, that's the only way we are going to deal with this. Have you thought about speaking to someone, like a counsellor? x

@graciepoo I too was finding each day incredibly difficult, I have had 2 periods since and my last was so heavy it brought on a panic attack, I believe I have ptsd as does my doctor, the entire experience has shattered me if I'm honest,
My doctor prescribed me antidepressants for my spiralling depression and anxiety and 9 weeks on I feel better but the dark thoughts still creep in.
It's important you know you are not alone!
This is grief and loss and everyone copes differently with the process, but ultimately we are all feeling empty inside. xx

Hello all,

Have been reading some of the miscarriage threads on here this week as I'm currently going through it.

Last Friday at 6+2 I started spotting so called my local EPU but they said to just monitor the flow and go to a&e if heavy, wouldn't get a scan until the following week etc....this led to me booking a private scan and because of what was seen I was rushed to a&e as an ectopic couldn't be ruled out. Fortunately that doesn't seem to be the case but have been bleeding heavily although much lighter now. And having my bloods taken to make sure my hcg levels are falling which they are. I'm hoping this Monday is the last set of bloods and that the 4th scan on Tuesday is the last and shows that everything has passed. On Monday I had all my tears knowing the bleeding was too heavy to be anything to else and since then have felt a mixed bag of emotions. Today I feel the most stable since last week.

This was my second pregnancy and we fell quickly after I came off the pill. We have a two and a half year old son and we hope to try again as soon as we physically can.

I can't say this is a club I wanted to be a part of but I've taken some comfort in reading about other women's experiences and knowing I'm not alone in my head

Hi guys, I know this is an old thread. Had a Mc yesterday (naturally came on) after being told the day before that there was no Hb in the scan. I am 9 weeks. do you know if I should have gone straight to hospital? Feel the worst was over last night, lots of pain and clots etc etc. It seems like there’s such little guidance as to what you should do. Terrified of an operation and would love any guidance pls x

I’ve just read your post - I’m so sorry, it sounds like we’re going through such similar things at similar times. I hope you’re holding up.

Have you called/seen your
family doctor yet? I went to the hospital when I started spotting. They performed a pelvic exam, did an ultrasound (they couldn’t see anything), then took some blood and confirmed my HCG was dropping.

I chose to pass the fetus at home naturally. The next day after the hospital, I started having contractions/cramps and was passing lots of clots and tissues. I bled for 9 days and then went for another blood test that confirmed my levels were back to normal and that I was no longer pregnant.

It’s one of the hardest losses I’ve experienced and I lost my father at a young age and my beloved uncle took his own life. I’ve experienced terrible grief before, but this was different. I was at the hospital on June 5th and I’ve cried every day since.

I am shattered too.

@graciepoo our stories are very similar also with previous family deaths. Please pm me we can swap numbers and WhatsApp it'll be easier and we can support each other xx

@ballanj and @Cremad so sorry for both your losses. Losing a baby, no matter at what stage, is one of the hardest things women have to go through. I hope you’re both doing ok? I mc and am on my second period since and only now am starting to feel like me again, not so much physically as I bounced back in that way quite quickly, but emotionally. Give yourselves time. It’s hard. And you’re right there isn’t much support out there outside of threads like these so if either of you want to PM me please feel free x

@Lulumam how did you find your periods? I have had 2 now since my MMC.
My first was very light and felt strange the pains were less intense than before.
My second was extremely heavy & painful I nearly fainted at the sight of the blood and had a panic attack. It was also very prolonged usually only lasts 4 days this was on and off with spotting after for up to 9 days. I have ptsd from my miscarriage and this 2nd period experience really triggered me. I'm really scared every period will be like this I can't deal with that! The logical solution would be to go on the pill or have a coil but we are TTC again so this isn't an option.
You would think having the miscarriage is traumatic enough but the misery doesn't end. Xx

This thread hasn't been posted on for a while, but maybe a few of you are still watching. I had IVF and sadly at my scan last week it showed an empty sac, no heartbeat or fetal pole. I'm back and forward to gynae assessment having bloods and scans. Currently pregnancy of unknown location, as my HCG is rising slightly - currently 8000. I see the Consultant tomorrow for another scan so he can decide the plan. I'm so anxious of ectopic and needing surgery 😔 I worry about how we will move past this 😔

@CurbsideProphet I’m so so sorry. It’s awful anyway and I can’t imagine how you feel after undergoing IVF to receive this news.
I went for a scan due to light bleeding and also was told no heartbeat or foetal pole. It’s horrible to hear. Hopefully they will have more information for you soon and you can start to process.
What I have learned is that lots of women have miscarriages, but you don’t know. That doesn’t make it any easier but has helped me to feel less alone. Talk to people in real life if you can/want to, and give yourself time and space as you need it.
There are people here to listen and lots of different experiences too.
I didn’t need surgery but have previously had surgery to remove a tube and ovary- I presume the process is similar and happy to try and answer any questions if you’re worried and do need it.

Thank you @MrsFLongbottom I so appreciate your reply 💐💐
Luckily they could see what they needed to see to confirm it was not ectopic.
I opted for medical management as I couldn't face waiting another week for my body to realise what has happened. It's started now so I'm anxious for how things will be overnight, especially as I feel quite sick. DH is here and he is my rock right now but he is also very sad and a bit scared.

Sadly one of my close friends had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, so we've been talking over WhatsApp. It really is the worse secret club to be a member of.

Hi everyone
I know I’ve just this three late but noticed there’s been a few recent comments on here
I was told at my 12 weeks scan on Thursday I’ve had a missed MC
I feel like my world has fell apart
No signs no symptoms go to see our baby to be told they passed at 7 weeks
Utterly heartbreaking
I was due to go back to hospital today to get the pessaries and start the medical management however things started naturally yesterday
Slight heavy bleeding and mild cramping and a few very small clots but hospital have said this sounds like the very beginning and the actual miscarriage still hasn’t happened
I’m petrified how how bad and how horrific this may get
I feel I’m pining for my baby and I feel a massive hole has been left in our family
Please tell me this gets easy
I have a million u answered questions in my head which I’m sure is normal!
I’m very lucky as I have a 4 year old boy but my heart even breaks for him knowing he’s lost a sibling (even though he knew nothing about it)
I’m scared of the thought of trying again incase this happens but also feel that is the only way I will feel even slightly better xxx

So sorry @Ktbabbit88 💐💐
It's such a terrible thing. Incredibly sad. Keep in contact with the hospital. I hope you have your DP / DH with you x

@Ktbabbit88 I’m so sorry, that must have been very very difficult. It’s always horrible but to find out with no other indication much have been a shock.
I was also 12 weeks and stopped growing at 7, but had some light bleeding a few days before my scan. For me it wasn’t as bad as I expected, I had about a week/9 days of bleeding that slowly got heavier, then overnight had some worse cramping and passed the sac. It was horrible, but not as painful as I thought. I also have a little boy (2) and felt like a horrible mother whilst it was all going on, as I was so sad and tired and not up for playing. However now looking back it was such a short time in the rand scheme of things that I was out of action, I should have just let myself feel sad and not made myself feel bad. All that just to say, give yourself some grace xxx

@CurbsideProphet I’m glad you’ve got someone to talk to who has been through it, although obviously it would be better if neither of you had to experience it at all. How are you feeling today? I’m glad it turned out not to be ectopic for you, xx

Thank you @MrsFLongbottom
Unfortunately medical management doesn't seem to have worked after 2 doses. I'm going to call tomorrow to talk about the options. I'm very scared of the surgical option but I can't carry on like this indefinitely. I just don't think my body has registered the pregnancy is not viable 😔

I know what you mean I feel like I’ve been a terrible mum to my 4 year old, no energy, still in pain and just can’t bring myself to feel happy
I spent most the weekend in hospital I just didn’t realise how horrific it gets for some women.
I almost had to go to theatre and have a blood transfusion due to blood lost but after removin some debris with forceps and apply pressure they controlled the bleeding.
I needed to take the tablet to ensure everything was out I then birthed the sac/foetus at 7:30am Sunday morning
No one prepares you for how bad it can be
But I’m hopefully coming to the end of the physical pain then I just have to deal with the emotional pain
Xxx

@CurbsideProphet I’m sorry it didn’t work for you, how are things going today?

@Ktbabbit88 I’m sorry, I hope the physical side of things is settling now for you?

Hi ladies, adding a comment so I can join. Had my third miscarriage last week. This one was at 8weeks. I'm 43, nhs have offered genetics testing on the pregnancy but I am getting the impression they won't do any further tests on le because of my age.

I was considering ivf, but I fell pregnant naturally so I know I can get pregnant. But without tests I'm not sure how I can make the right decision. Has anyone had a similar situation? Do I go for IVF or keep trying without knowing why I keep miscarrying.