Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@shell198686 sorry to hear you've joined us. I had a natural MC but it was earlier (8 weeks but measuring as 6). It wasn't easy but manageable, but if it hadn't started naturally pretty sure I would've gone for ERPC. Sending hugs ❤️

@HotCupOfNo aww maternity wear, another trigger, there are so many 😔 I'm just avoiding any responding to any announcements, not very sociable but I don't care, lol.

@LauraT94 thanks for your thoughts on that! I was also ok with getting the vaccine when pregnant before, but now I've had the first dose I'm worried about the high fever, the side effects are meant to be even worse after the second and I'm worried the fever could also contribute to another MC 😭 I'm just so torn!

@shell198686 sorry you’ve had to join this group and for what you’re going through.

I can see a lot of the girls have posted already and I echo what they say it does sound like the wrong advice re self isolation afterwards. I had a D&C on the 30/12 during the height of the second wave. I had a Covid test on the Sunday and operation on the Wednesday. I did ask about self isolation in the 3 days before the operation and explained my husband would be working and little boy going to the child minders however I would not leave the house (hubby took little one to CM) they said that was fine. Post operation no advice about self isolation other than if you get any symptoms then you self isolate so I wonder if they mean that but have worded it wrong or whosever has told you has got it wrong. I would definitely call for a second opinion xxxx

@AMS19 cheers lovely. These periods are coming back with a vengeance!! Xx

@AMS19 @AlbiMix @DMT1982

I will call them tomorrow and get clarification. I'm doubting myself, was I too emotional to take it in properly. I did tell them I couldn't self isolate because I need to take my son to school etc so if I got the wrong end of the stick surely she would of put me right. Who knows , all I can do is call them and check.

I'm hoping this is all over soon, just had a call from work to see when I can come back into the office (currently working from home) so trying now to think of a reason I can get out of it without having to tell my boss.

Wish me luck x

@shell198686 your reason for not going back to the office, we are still in a national lockdown and the advice remains to work from home if you can so tell your boss that if you don’t feel you can tell them that actual reason.
Sending you a big hug and you will get through this xxxx

@shell198686 I'm really sorry to hear about your loss!

I was only 9ish weeks so different situation and I'm already spotting. They also said they expect it to come away but they've booked me in for a scan on Tuesday. I was offered a d&c but the soonest was Monday due to Covid testing and isolation so I said I'd wait until after the scan to decide. Like others said it was only 3 days isolation but every trust is a little different

Do you feel like you need time off even from WFH? I'm out on a sickline for general debility because I'm office based but I don't want work to know this time. My work doesn't tend to be best when it comes to personal issues x

@shell198686 Firstly I'm sorry for your loss. I agree that it is weird advice -I had ERPC for a MMC at the end of November - baby had died at 11 weeks, found out at 12 weeks, surgery at 13.5 weeks.

Like others I had to isolate the 3 days before it (after being covid tested) but not at all afterwards and I do not see why you'd have to.

@DMT1982 your right that's absolutely what I should say. I think companies seem to think as soon as kids go back school everyone's okay to go back to work! But that's for a whole different thread 😏

@angc30 sorry to hear this - this is my
First miscarriage I think I've gone through every emotion possible. How have you been coping ?
I spotted too 7 ,8 & 9 weeks . Was told
It's not uncommon ( see previous comments x)

I'm so glad to talk to other women going through the same... I've never used forums before , I mean I've read every thread on here in relation to miscarriage but I've never posted .

I wonder whether the isolation afterwards is just something my trust enforce , who knows .

Yes I'm okay to wfh - well I think. When it happens I might feel different . I just want work to know as little possible , if I get a sick note I think they would suspect something as never have time off so want it to remain as normal
As possible . I work part time and work load is
Not overwhelming so I think I will cope.

It's a sticky situation with work- it sounds like you're work won't be as supportive as maybe they should be. I understand you wouldn't want to tell them. It's a huge thing x

@HotCupOfNo that article is v accurate! The stick two fingers up stage! 100% and all the on off crying. Okay one day, not the next.

@TheDaydreamBelievers seems that everyone is saying the same. If I call them tomorrow
And somehow if it's wrong I will book for d&c . The waiting around is agonising.

I'm also so sorry to hear about your experience, it's so cruel . I hope that it gets better for you x sending lots of love 💕

@HotCupOfNo thanks for posting that - it really is spot on. I’ve only told a couple of people about my MC and when I told my friend about my test results (chromosomal issue) she said “I’m sorry but it wasn’t meant to be” - exactly like the article mentioned. Yes it’s well meaning but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear in that moment 😒 x

Hi @shell198686 - so sorry for what you’re going through right now. It really is awful and the waiting for something to happen just makes it worse. I echo what everyone has already said - I took a Covid test at the EPU after discovering my baby’s Hb had stopped and I was told to self isolate for 3 days and this was mid-Jan when numbers were still very high. It seems very strange that they’ve asked you to isolate for 2 weeks, I would definitely speak to someone again tomorrow and see if that’s 100% the case. Fingers crossed you can get a D&C. Sending you huge virtual hugs x

@shell198686 make sure you take care of yourself and if you're not feeling up to it don't pressure yourself. I regretted telling work after my 1st miscarriage and taking time off was detrimental bc all I could do was sit and think. I took no time worth the 2nd and I preferred it that way. This time knocked me more and there's no chance I could go in x

My spotting started last week and has gradually gotten worse so I think it is happening naturally. I really do think sometimes you just know something is wrong in yourself so I got a scan yesterday confirming there was no heartbeat

I'm coping okay now but I was a full on basket case yesterday bc it was the furtherest we'd gotten and I convinced myself this was the one. Today's a bit better now that the cramps and bleeding have started up. Never thought I'd be grateful for pains 😂. How are you coping? The statistics are in your favour if you decide you want to try again. Don't want my recurrent miscarriages to seem scary xx

Oh TWW ladies I’m so envious!! I’m CD12 although if I count from when my period actually kicked in I’m CD10 (had two days of teeeeny tiny spotting). No sign of ovulation yet, hoping it will come within the next week 🤞 I’ll be keeping everything crossed for you guys and your BFPs! Xx

@SuzieDeLaTour Thank-you for your kind words . I will update tomorrow after I've called. 🤞 if I don't have to self isolate then I would book in for the d&c. Sending 💕💕

@SuzieDeLaTour first of all I am so sad to hear that you have had to experience this many times , my heart goes out to you. I hope they can maybe give you some answers . One day you will get your happy ending 🌈
I think you're right with sometimes just knowing I don't know about you but I felt so ill through this pregnancy to the point where I was in bed most days . Also with the spotting I just knew something wasn't right . It's still an awful shock
When it's confirmed though 😔

I'm coping ok - the weekend I did a lot of crying , I've played the blame game - convinced I did something wrong , maybe it's
My age - 35 this year . All sorts run through your head.

We will try again eventually this year but it opens up a lot of worry and anxieties for the next time as you know , you are so brave!

Xxx

@angc30 see post above sorry I tagged wrongly x

@angc30

First of all I'm so sad you have had to experience this many times , my heart goes out to you. I hope they can maybe give you some answers . One day you will get your happy ending 🌈
I think you're right with sometimes just knowing I don't know about you but I felt so ill through this pregnancy to the point where I was in bed most days . Also with the spotting I just knew something wasn't right . It's still an awful shock
When it's confirmed though 😔

I'm coping ok - the weekend I did a lot of crying , I've played the blame game - convinced I did something wrong , maybe it's
My age - 35 this year . All sorts run through your head.

We will try again eventually this year but it opens up a lot of worry and anxieties for the next time as you know , you are so brave!

Xxxx

I’m so sorry to all the ladies joining us here, its just so cruel to go through what we are all going through, but I like to think it’s setting us up to be strong super mums. Be kind and give yourself time to heal and grieve, as the other ladies have said its a process, somedays you’ll be fine others are really hard, just know your not alone xx

Ladies, can I ask how your temps were before your first period? I am now 3 weeks post MC and 6 days ago I got ewcm and highish temps 36.7c so thought maybe that was ovulation, but now I’ve had 2 days of low temps again 36.4c. So I'm thinking maybe i didn’t ovulate or maybe my hormones are still awol! I guess time will tell 🤷‍♀️

@Jujujuberry I didn't temp until I had my first "period" so can't help but I wouldn't be surprised if they were all over the place. My cycle after that period was textbook in terms of temps, the best I've ever had in fact. This cycle they are absolutely all over the shot!

Because I had 5 days of spotting before super heavy flow I have absolutely no idea what CD I am 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ and the temps are jumping all over the shot so could have ovulated, could not have ovulated. Think this one is a no go and will try again next month 🙄

@Jujujuberry the attached chart is my first cycle after my MVA! Day 1 is the day I had the MVA.

My temps were all over the place and I didn't really have a clear temp shift for ovulation, although I believe my RHR (orange line) shows it quite clearly!

@Jujujuberry should have added that AF evened it all out for me! This is my current chart and it's a lot better.

First cycle post AF and my temps are all over the place

@Jujujuberry my temps in the cycle straight after mc were elevated and all over the place. I did get ewcm a few weeks after mc but my temps didn't confirm ovulation so think my body tried to ovulate but didn't quite do it.

After my first AF post mc my temps were looking more normal but they seemed to swing the other way and went a bit lower than usual but there was a clear post ovulation temp rise. Now into my second cycle post mc and my temps are looking a lot more promising this month.

I’ve never temped before but this is my chart... I’ve had one period post mmc.. it’s a bit all over the place isn’t it?! Or is this normal? On the day ff says I ovulated I had a peak on Cb digital ov test and ewcm on that day and a few days prior...

Thank you to the lady who shared that metro article (sorry lost who it was now), can relate to every word xx