Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

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Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

Thanks @Pettylamby, I've not finished miscarrying quite yet and need a scan on Friday to confirm it all, I have no idea if I want to wait for a period or not.

Hi to new Joiners, you're in the right place...this is a lovely thread and has pulled me through some dark times.

@Pettylamby lots of tww people I can see from a quick read, it's exciting! By the laws of statistics (is that right?!) we are going to get some BFPs on this thread soon!

I'm currently 6DPO. Last night I had the most vivid dream of being pregnant again and feeling the baby roll and move- it was so real. Hope it's a good sign but shows how much I want to be pregnant again. I've promised myself I won't test until AF is due but I'll have to a few days early this month as I have a scan at the recurrent miscarriage clinic in London at 12DPO and if there's a baby in there I want to know before I turn up.

How much time did you all have off work after your mcs?

I was off for 5 weeks and still on a phased return so currently on 3 days a week rather than full time.

@14down I had 3 weeks in total with Christmas holidays in between so 5, but one of those was a phased return. The GP would have signed me off for longer but in the end I felt like I needed the structure of work to keep me pushing on.

Don't rush returning, the emotional impact is long lasting and still has the power to stop me in my tracks months later xx

I will be 7 weeks off in total and then back on phased return. I have found returning to work such an individual thing. Take the time you need

I had 2 weeks off work post mc which was mainly the Christmas holidays/new year. As it happened a few days before my work holidays started I felt I couldn't take any further time off as in my mind was past the worst part when the holidays ended. I think back now and feel I rushed myself a bit to get back to work and normality if that makes sense. I am very lucky though that my work is still very much working from home with limited need for interaction with others.

When you return to work is absolutely such an individual thing and do what is right for you and your circumstances x

@HotCupOfNo ah I'm so sorry you are still going through it, just take your time and see how you feel! I was absolutely adamant I wasn't gonna try until after a proper AF! Then I had all the cramps of AF but no bleeding and when I realised I was gonna ovulate for a second time post MC I couldn't let it go by!

@LauraT94 ah cycle twin!! Is this your first one trying post MC as well? I feel like the last 5 days have gone quite quickly but the next 5 will no doubt drag! I've got a huge haul of FRERs and CB digital but I'm gonna have to use my best restraint! I got a squinter at 7pdo last time so I'm not sure I'll make it much past then!!

@glowingtwig yay for tww! Fingers crossed that there is some good news on this thread in a week or so! 🤞🏻🤞🏻 I'm trying not to get too carried away but all this talk of being super fertile after a MC makes me hope it happens for us all soon and we get our rainbow babies!! 🌈🌈🌈

Hey ladies. I have been a bit rubbish of late and haven’t caught up on the thread for a while.

I’m due on anytime soon (not currently TTC following d&c end of December) and this will be my second period post op.

I don’t usually suffer back ache, moods, acne or insomnia when I am due on however this time round has been awful. I have been an absolute witch to my husband (his words, oops!!) and I flew off the handle at my mum earlier in the week. I am tossing and turning at night and find I am crying or getting uptight about silly things (cried at the end of its a sin series last night)

I am using the lady timer period tracking app just to get an idea of my cycles post op and says I am due on tomorrow.

I’m just wondering if anyone else has been an emotional witch to live with post miscarriage when they are due on? I am hoping it’s just my hormones still settling down post miscarriage and I don’t have this every month when I am due on! Xxxx

Hi @DMT1982 I absolutely was way more emotional when I was due on. Like you I was also getting backache and insomnia beforehand that I don't usually get.

Having just gone past that on cd 9 now I'm feeling a lot more stable emotionally and hoping that this cycle things will be a lot more normal if I don't conceive.

Hope things settle for you xx

@Pettylamby this is my second cycle post-MC. I did try on the first one but my temps were all over the place and although FF confirmed ovulation and I covered my bases with DTD, I just think I wasn't really in with a chance while hormones were still settling!

So technically 2nd cycle trying but the first where I feel like my body's settled enough to be in with a chance! I got my first BFP at 11dpo last time but it was a pretty solid line, no squinting required! So I'm hopeful I might get a result sooner...

When I was testing for a negative after my MMC, I found the Wondfo 20miu were just as sensitive as the FRERs so I may try them at the weekend!

@DMT1982 I've only had one period post-MC but I was the same as you with the PMS rage etc! I didn't realise I was going to come on as I wasn't 100% sure when I'd ovulated but as soon as AF arrived, both me and OH were like 'ohhhh that's why I've been such a nightmare!!'

@DMT1982 not necessarily noted this as increased pms but I'm generally more emotional and find sleeping really difficult, still having panicky feelings and palpitations dropping off etc. My poor DH has been sleeping in the spare room (goes in there after DTD which is awful isn't it 🙈) but otherwise I just can't sleep, every noise sets me off. I reckon generally hormones settling is what's going on.

@Pettylamby 🌈🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

@PlantMummy87 and @LauraT94 thanks for your replies and relived to hear it’s not just me although wouldn’t wish this on anyone or anyone’s husband, poor blokes!

I just want to come on now mainly to stop feeling so all over the place but also so I can start tracking for when we start trying again. My first period post miscarriage was ok emotionally as I was more relieved I had come on and everything was working but this one the run up has been something else! Thanks again. Xxx

@glowingtwig thanks for your reply. It’s awful when you don’t get a good nights sleep which then massively has a negative impact the following day. We don’t have a spare room as it’s an office or I would 100% go in there at the mo as my husband snores and moans when I kick him so no ones sleeping really!

Hormones have a lot to answer for don’t they! Xxx

@Pettylamby Thankyou ❤️❤️ I think it makes sense to have a full cycle first!

Didn't know if this would help anyone else - I've just found this article and I felt like It totally resonated with me word for word. I felt so strong this morning, got out for a walk etc, but at lunch time I just broke down and I've been back in bed most of the afternoon. I'm so so tired physically and emotionally. Every time i brush my boobs against something they still hurt and I still feel sick. It's horrible xx

metro.co.uk/2017/01/26/this-is-what-really-happens-when-you-suffer-a-miscarriage-6380489/amp/

@HotCupOfNo thanks for sharing that, I agree it really resonated on many fronts. I just got a notification on WhatsApp of someone posting a pregnancy announcement in a group and I can't even bear to open the message 😭 I know I should say congratulations but I just don't want to think about it...

Hi ladies, wondering if I can get some advice from you all on a new dilemma I'm having.

The scan confirming my MC was complete was nearly two weeks ago. I'm clinically vulnerable due to immunosuppressant medication so I got the COVID vaccine on Sunday. I had quite a bad fever as a side effect, it lasted less than 24h but it nearly hit 39C at one point.

I really want to avoid having another MC (obviously) and I've read that you're more likely to have a healthy pregnancy if you conceive in the 3 months after an MC, so I'd quite like to try again after my first period post MC. Unfortunately my second vaccine dose isn't until mid-May and having seen the high temp I developed the first time I don't think I'd want to risk having the second dose while pregnant.

There are a few options and I'm really stuck on what to do:

1. Hold off TTC until after mid May even if I risk missing the post MC 'fertile window'
2. Start TTC after first period and if I conceived, not have second dose of vaccine
3. Have second dose even if pregnant despite risk of getting high fever
4. Try to get my vaccine appointment moved earlier so I can TTC still within three months of my MC

The last one would be ideal but I don't know if I'll be allow to bring my appointment forward, I already tried and the booking system doesn't allow it, I don't know if a GP is able to help with that.

I know this is a super specific query but would love to hear your thoughts/what you might do in my shoes? Thank you ❤️

@DMT1982 you're definitely not alone ❤️

@AlbiMix personally I would TTC whenever you're ready and then get the second dose during pregnancy if you get a BFP! They're saying the Jab is safe in pregnancy if you're high risk, and now that you know that it caused a fever you could maybe take preventative measures to lower your temp like take paracetamol just after you've had it?

Personally I couldn't bare to wait to TTC for anything, even the vaccine haha. And if I'm offered it in pregnancy I will take it x

@AlbiMix I've had to order some stuff off asos today and seeing all of the maternity wear that I'd favourited was just gutting - I can't even imagine seeing a pregnancy announcement right now 💔 Sending you a really big hug xxx I've had my friend message me today saying 'I'm so relieved for you that this happened now and not later on' and whilst I understand her sentiment I just don't think I'd use the word relieved in any context right now whatsoever

Hi
I should be 10wks 6 days today - I went for a private scan last Saturday and they told me baby's heartbeat stopped at 9+4 . Confirmed today by EPU. No option for drugs as passed 9 week stage and crl to long.
I've been told natural miscarriage or d&c . D&c not available until next week with a Covid test beforehand and isolation for 2 weeks after. Cannot do this as I need to take my ds to school.
Opted for natural , but I'm so anxious . I don't know what to expect , I've read horror stories which make me think I should of opted for the d&c and kept my son off school for another 2 weeks . Covid has really made this experience even worse.
Had anybody else had a missed mc at 9 weeks and how long did it take for your body to realise . This is my first experience . 34 years old . 1 ds now 4
Thankyou x

@shell198686 sorry you have to join us.

So I found out about MMC at 14 weeks but hb had stopped at 9 weeks. I was due for surgery but went into natural miscarriage the day before (I had 4 days in between finding out and going into natural miscarriage). So was 5 weeks and a few days.
I didn't have a good experience but I am on the unusual side and had excessive bleeding so ended up in hospital due to blood loss then having a procedure to get it under control. I think in my case I was just unlucky and it's not that common. I want to be honest with you that my experience has left me with trauma and I'm being monitored for PTSD. But like I said I think I'm just unlucky and there are quite a few ladies on here who have gone into natural miscarriage and not had my experience.

I'm surprised they are asking you to isolate for 2 weeks after the procedure that's definitely not what I was told when I was scheduled for surgery and that was January at very high levels. I would query that one. I think from memory that if nothing has happened after 2 weeks then they re scan you.
You are entitled to change your mind at any point as well just contact your EPU.

@Scottishskifun

Thank you for your response it's so helpful to speak to others. So sorry for your experience too.. it's so cruel.

I had a feeling something would go wrong from the off , turns out my instinct was right. I had scans at 7 weeks, 8 weeks and 9 weeks all due to spotting ( was never referred to epu by gp- all private scans ) they said it was common to spot in early pregnancy. I guess I knew deep down something was wrong.

Following today I'm booked back in 24th March - they told me if the miscarriage begins before then once the bleeding has stopped I can do a pregnancy test and if it's negative it means everything has passed.

I wished they would re scan me to give me reassurance . I've read stories about not all the tissue passing but they have assured me as long as the pregnancy test is negative then it will be ok. It's scary.

I can't get my head around the isolation for 2 weeks if I had opted for the d&c - surely if I'm negative at pre op stage there is no need .

Sending lots of love to all the women out there echoing through this ❤️

@shell198686 I had an ERPC on 7th December. I had a Covid test on 4th December and self isolated for three days before the op. I wasn't required to isolate at all afterwards and that was when numbers were really high.

@dippyegg32 Thank you

I might call them Tomorrow and query. 🤨

@shell198686 I had a MVA on NYE and I also wasn't required to self isolate. That seems very odd advice...
I'm so sorry for what you're going through!

@DMT1982 sending hugs lovely xx