Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

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Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@MeganChar1 I'm sorry that sounds super stressful. I'm very much a believer in fate. If the house is meant to be it will be, and if not there is a reason. Equally, as painful as it is, these miscarriages are part of our journey to bring us our babies. We will never regret or resent this time when we hold our babies in our arms, as with the pain and heartbreak we wouldn't have that particular baby. I hold onto this thought every day

Sorry you’re feeling anxious @MeganChar1
I’m going to be looking into the ‘why’ in a short while. This is my second loss in two cycles and I want some basic tests before trying again.
I’m 40 and I have a son born when I was 39 who is now 15 months. I understand age is a factor in miscarriage. So I’d like to understand if any other issues and then move onto trying again.
I read that it can be 50/50 split between miscarriages and successful pregnancies as Some miscarriages are very early.

Thanks @birdbybird I will definitely ask if I have any Qs about the temping, opks etc. The reminders are painful, I'm physically ok as I had barely any pregnancy symptoms anyway (dunno if this is linked with the MC) but I've had to stay off social media since I had a little meltdown about other people's pregnancies and babies 😔

@MeganChar1 thanks for that really useful update about your appointment, slightly annoying they won't follow it up, but maybe that means we just have to hold on to the idea that one MC doesn't make it likely enough that there will be a second for them to investigate it. I know how you feel though because I also just have this bad feeling that I'll have another one.

By the way I'm in a really similar situation as you in that we're also buying a new place, found out I was pregnant shortly after that started, then had the MC. We've also been getting pressure from our sellers, it's always a hideous process buying a house, so stressful! But I totally agree with @AMS19 I also believe the "if it's meant to be" philosophy and that's helped me deal with our current flat purchase - really want it to happen but if it's not meant to be, it's not the end of the world. Easier said than done I know!

Sorry to hear of your situation @justwant2beamum it’s truly heartbreaking :( no words can make you feel any better just now and sending you a virtual hug. Your world really does crumble but i have found some comfort in this page knowing I’m not alone.

@MeganChar1 I have just seen your comment re under active thyroid , can I ask a wee personal question as to what your TSH levels are and are you being treated for your thyroid ? I had been having various bloods for infertility before I got pregnant and my TSH was 4.9 then 4.5 :/ they said it ‘should be fine’ but now I’ve had a miscarriage I can’t help but think has it been a contributing factor, especially after hours of
Google reading!! I have a call with the consultant next week but just thought I would ask as it’s something on my mind and it’s fine if you’d rather not share any personal details. Sorry you are having a difficult time just now with various matters , life really can be testing at times ! I hope things get sorted for your house move soon x

@Blondiebrownie6 I was told TSH over 3 cam be a risk factor. Mine was 3.1 so only just over but I've gone gluten free anyway to be on the safe side and hopefully bring it below

@AMS19 yes I try to think like that too, although I sometimes find it hard to think about a future child at the moment as I wanted “this baby” if that makes sense. But I know any future children will be rays of sunshine and I’ll love them unconditionally.

@AlbiMix it’s so stressful, I had the estate agent pestering me for stuff literally in the days in between my mmc and having my d&c.

@Blondiebrownie6 no worries, my TSH was last tested in December when I was 5 weeks pregnant and it was 5.5 which is too high for pregnancy but I didn’t know that at the time. I have a condition called Hashimotos which means I have antibodies attacking my thyroid gland making it underactive. I had my dose increased of my thyroid meds when pregnant but I think it came too late. Normal range for thyroid TSH is up to 4.7 I think but for pregnancy it needs to be under 2.5, which a lot of doctors don’t know. To be honest I felt a bit let down by them x

Thanks @AMS19 , I’ll look into the gluten free aspect and do some more research

@MeganChar1 im not surprised you do :( I hear you as I’m kinda feeling the same, I even spoke to the doctor when I got my positive just to be sure it was ok which they assured me it was normal! The consultant at the infertility unit never even bothered to call me back!! Thanks for sharing your levels, I’m certainly going to keep on at someone until I hopefully get meds to reduce it. My antibody levels for that seemed normal so maybe that’s why they weren’t concerned? It still feels unsettling to me. I have a follow up call with the EPU tomorrow so maybe I’ll see what they say or if they can offer any advice x

Hi @justwant2beamum

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I had a similar experience, the baby stopped growing the day after a scan where we had seen the heartbeat. It’s so cruel and the pain of the loss of unimaginable.

In terms of my experience, like you I just couldn’t face the thought of a natural miscarriage. I had my scan on a Wednesday and surgery the following Tuesday. They had to talk me through the other options but I was adamant I wanted surgery. It may be worth asking your EPU if they are offering surgical management. I did that to reassure myself and she provisionally booked me in before I’d had my scan.
Like others have said, you’re in the darkest days right now and it is truly the worst thing I’ve ever been through but you will get through it, just take it one hour at a time if you have to.
We are all here to support you xx

I was wondering if I could pop on to your thread here x

I've just had my 4th miscarriage. I had a scan at 6 weeks and then 8+2 (Friday) everything was fine and baby was measuring right. Spotting started on Wednesday and turned to bleeding and I was scanned yesterday. I was told that baby did not have a heartbeat and it looks like everything will come away naturally as the bleeding has started. I have a scan on Tuesday to confirm. My heart actually feels like it's breaking and everything sets me off into tears

I was just wondering what you ladies are doing now? I had a private consultation in December before I fell pregnant with this one. I've made an appointment to come back on Tuesday after my scan. I had a full screening of blood and everything fine. I'm just really struggling will I ever be a mum? It's all I've ever wanted. Are we at the point that we look at adoption? Do we go private for fertility treatments while we wait for the nhs? I'm in NI and they only fund one round and none after three private rounds.

DH says I'm getting ahead of myself and to see what Tuesday brings but I'm a preper. I need a plan to keep my going otherwise the grief is just too much

Hi angc30

I’m so sorry for your losses. It really is heartbreaking.

I’ve also just had my 4th miscarriage after seeing a heartbeat and thinking everything was finally going to be fine. I’ve had 3 ectopics too so lots of tests and I was on heparin and aspirin for this pregnancy.

I’ve been under an NHS recurrent miscarriage clinic for 2017 but I’ve been reading up on additional private tests that you can have done such as NK cells and other immunology tests. I’ve booked in to see a specialist in April who seems to have helped lots of women who have had recurrent losses. It makes sense for me as I have autoimmune conditions.

I’m a prepper like you and need to feel like I’m taking back some control of what’s going on so I’ve been doing lots of research. There’s a helpful thread on here for women who are undergoing tests and treatment. I’ll try and link it for you but it’s called ‘NK pred thread 27’

Take good care of yourself x

@angc30 hi and welcome to our group 🤗 I’m so sorry for your losses, what an awful time you’ve been through. It really is heartbreaking when you see a heartbeat and think everything is ok. I’ve had two MMCs but have had a baby in between. I haven’t been offered any tests on the NHS but I did have genetic tests carried out on the baby both times privately. Both showed a chromosomal issue. I think it’s completely normal to panic about what the future might hold and to feel a lack of control can be really difficult to deal with. I’ve had friends who have had multiple miscarriages (one had six in a row!) and she now has two little ones so please don’t give up hope or feel defeated. From my own experience, I have found going privately to see a gynae has helped me to get answers so if you’re in a position to afford it, I would say pursue that route for testing etc. while you wait for the NHS tests. Thinking of you x

Hello to all the news arrivals. Sorry I haven’t had a chance to respond individually to you all.

Everyone is welcome and please join us. I have found this thread to be an absolute life line through my loss. Xxx

I’m temping again. I’m not sure I’m ovulating and my hormones were wild last month. My bloods from EPU showed my hcg was 3 which I’m pleased about. The beast period obviously helped!!

Anyway I have been doing my temp the last few days when my period had stopped. My temp is plummeting. I will attach my chart so you can see what I mean. I will let you know what happens. I have also had a change on CM today. Ever so sight ewcm so I think I just need to wait and see. I’m cd8 and pre MC would ovulate around cd15-cd17z

Hoping I get two more days of high temps to confirm ovulation then I'll be defo in the two week wait. HCG was 3.8 last Monday so hoping under 2 now.

Hi @dippyegg32 I’m sorry if I have it wrong But did I see a previous post saying you’d visited Miss Fleming at Kingston, because I also had an appointment with her after my emergency Caesarean and I’m due to go in for a scan again post the miscarriage. I also have a GP referral to privately see a gynaecologist. can I just ask to see her after the scan at the EPU?

Hi ladies!

Just wanted to post a wee update!

Welcome to all the new ladies, sorry you find yourself here but we all understand what you've been through and this thread is a brilliant resource to share or just read through others experiences.

I'm 5dpo today in my first post MC tww where we've actually tried. Did an FRER this morning, just to check it is a true blank negative and it was so I'm happy.

I only have a 10 day luteal phase so trying to stay chill for the next few days, I really don't expect to be lucky first cycle but you just don't know! Its hard not to get carried away.

I've been having loads of white discharge (more than normal) so I defo feel like my hormones are stronger than normal post MC.

I'd anyone else in their tww at the moment? I was going to switch over to another thread but I feel like it's all strangers in there! Weird since we are all strangers but you know what I mean!

Hope everyone is well 😘

@birdbybird miss Fleming is the most lovely doctor. She's in the EPU on Thursday mornings only but around at the hospital every day. She practises privately at the new Victoria

@Pettylamby I'll join you but I'm only 1dpo! 12-14 day LP usually but you know, anything seems possible after a mc. Just my luck I'm sure my period will come like a week early this month. I didn't use opks for like the first month but had ovulation confirmed by temps.

@Pettylamby oh thats exciting! yes I'm in my tww, but i think i only ovulated yesterday so got a while to wait just yet... fingers crossed for you xx

@dippyegg32 ah that's good! There is nothing that drags more than a TWW! I don't temp because I work shifts but my RHR went up which is quite a good indicator but obviously not 100%!

@mellous whoop, yay on ovulation! 🤞🏻 for you too!

Thanks @dippyegg32!

Can I ask how long you waited before ttc @Pettylamby?

Afternoon ladies, I'm 3DPO now this TWW is going to drag. Have everything crossed. Hope all you ladies are doing well xx

@Pettylamby hi cycle buddy!! I have a 10 day LP and I'm 5dpo too 😂 twins! I'll be testing on Monday with an FRER if my temps play ball. Miiighht do an IC on Sunday just to satisfy the POAS addiction if it gets bad 😂

@HotCupOfNo of course, I am 9 weeks post MVA, this is technically my second cycle, we didn't try in my first fertile window as I wanted to have a period... That didn't quite go to plan as my 'period' consisted of really bad cramps for 4 days but zero bleeding but I decided to count it as a period and OPK picked up a peak exactly 25 days later which is normal for me and I couldn't stand waiting another month so w just went for it!