Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

Well girls I done a test on sat and this is what I got 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 not sure if it's left over hcg from my miscarriage or a new pregnancy as my miscarriage only really finished 4 weeks yesterday when I passed the sac what yous think. 💚

@AMS19 amazing news on the test results so happy for you and fingers crossed for this cycle!

@HotCupOfNo I completely understand how you feel, I had some bleeding, then a scan when they said the baby was measuring 6 weeks but I knew it should've been 8, they said to come back in a week's time but I just knew it was the start of an MC. When I had that first scan I asked a family friend who's a midwife what she thought, and she told me very bluntly that it was a MC and not to hold out any hope that it was anything else. That was tough to hear, but actually quite helpful in the sense that it really removed any false hope, I knew it was a MC and I didn't even entertain the idea of good news. I know that sounds grim but what I mean is that if you're honest with yourself about the situation, it might help you cope with that uncertainty while you're waiting for something to happen. I also found that extremely difficult, knowing something had started but waiting for it to get worse. In my case I definitely knew when 'it' came out and I knew after that it was going to be over soon. A couple days more pain and bleeding and then it was over. Loads of hugs to you, it's really tough ❤️

@Jujujuberry I'm still quite confused with the temping TBH. I've tracked it 3 days so far and all in the 36.2 region but the second day was slightly higher than the third. Yesterday unexpectedly detected some quite stretchy CM (sorry for TMI) so thought maybe I'm going to ovulate. But I got my COVID vaccine yesterday and had a fever as a side effect which I'm now worried might throw off my ovulation, if that's a thing? Also didn't bother to track temp this morning because of the fever which will mess with it all. So yeah super confused

Sorry 3 weeks yesterday from I passed the sac and 4 weeks today from the bleeding started 💚

@babyghirl oh let's hope it's a new one. Could be hold hcg, mine were like that for about 5 weeks post MVA (so equivalent to you passing the sac). You never know!! Fingers crossed for you

@Babyghirl have you had a negative pregnancy test since your miscarriage? It could be a new pregnancy but also likely still left over hcg. I have taken 6 weeks to get a true negative test xx

Hi guys, I didn’t know whether to add to this or start a new thread. Had a chemical last cycle which was no heavier than a normal period yet felt ‘different’. This cycle pregnant again but spotting brown almost the entire time. Now 8 weeks but measuring 6.5 weeks. There was a heartbeat a week ago but now none and no growth since last week. I am bleeding red but no clots. No cramps. I’ve been bleeding red since yesterday. And am so anxious plus slight nausea/bad taste in mouth. Will this be worse than the chemical? When will the clots start? Have so many questions :(

@HotCupOfNo

I’m so sorry for that you’re going through. That being in limbo feeling is awful. Are they following up with more tests and scans for you? Sorry if I’ve missed that on another post, brain is all over the place.

Be kind to yourself and come on here for lots of support.

@Jujujuberry

How far along from your MC were you when you got the EWCM? I’m just a bit baffled that it could be this soon. I know we really shouldn’t and I am absolutely petrified about another MC which seems likely given my history. But I can’t stop thinking about that one good egg! Asked my DH if he wanted to DTD and he looked shocked and asked if we were allowed. We are from tomorrow... maybe we will just do it for the old fashioned reason on fun.

I feel like I’ve lost my mind today. I was going to start back working today (from home) but I just want to stay in bed and hide from the world. I have been off for 3 weeks and I know they are probably wondering why it’s taking so long (my boss tried to ask in a delicate way why I’d had surgery and why it was so hard physically when I was only early) and I wasn’t sure how to take that.

Sorry for the rambling....

Hi @birdbybird

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Did you have scans with your EPU? The reason I ask is that every miscarriage seems to be different in my experience. I had 2 at about 5 weeks and the first was just like a heavy period. The second was painful but I didn’t pass anything that upset me, just a lot of clots from memory.

My two most recent miscarriages have needed surgical management.

Have they offered you any meds to help or advice? I’m sure someone with more experience will be along soon. From what I’ve said it can be quite painful until you pass the sac.

I’m so sorry xxx

That should have said ‘read’ not ‘said. X

@Badlydrawngirly do not feel rushed going back. I’m 6 weeks post miscarriage and I am yet to go back to work. I am still over whelmed easily, brain is foggy and sleep is hard. I feel I lack confidence in speaking with people because I find it very hard to control my emotions. Silly things just set me off into tears or a rage. This is how I’m processing my grief and I will get there. It took me a long time to accept however that some people find work helpful . I do not find it helpful for my recovery and that’s ok xxx

@Badlydrawngirly I have follow up scan on Thursday. So I guess will have more information then.
At the last scan they did say if you’re using a pad per hour then go to the hospital, so I’m telling myself that is the worst case situation and it likely won’t be that bad.

Hi Ralala

You’ve just described exactly how I feel. I’m sorry that you’re going through this too.

I’ve arranged some counselling, well taken the first steps but haven’t got the energy to actually book it in now.

It’s hard to get people to understand isn’t it? I do get that some people need a distraction but I just feel mentally and physically broken.

Take care x

@Babyghirl oh I so hope it’s a new pregnancy but like the other girls said, it’s tough to know if it’s just leftover HCG. Took me over 5 weeks from my op to get a negative test. Have you tested previously and had a negative?
@birdbybird oh I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s so incredibly tough. I’m surprised your EPU didn’t give you more information / options and you have to wait until Thursday. No wonder you’re feeling so anxious! I’ve had two MMCs and on both occasions I went down the surgical route - I was past 8 weeks with both and it just felt like the best option for me both physically and mentally. Have you read up about your options? There are lots of ladies here who have passed it naturally and taken medication to induce it who can give you a much better idea of what to expect than I can but if you’re worried / feel you need more info, please don’t hesitate to contact your EPU. They’re there to help and advise you and it honestly sounds like you’ve just been left to get on with things with no idea what to expect. I really feel for you! X

Thankyou lovely @AMS19 ❤️ it's good to hear it gets easier.

@AlbiMix I do need to continue to be totally honest with myself, you're right, the fastest way out is through. I think perhaps I need to find a new focus. Need to get my knitting out again (I'm terrible at it but it's very relaxing!).

@Badlydrawngirly hope you're ok lovely, I know what you mean by feeling all over the place, I feel like I've been lobotomised today! I've got a follow up scan on Friday so they can check it's complete etc. I went for a (too long) walk with a friend through the local high street today and I feel like an open wound, it felt too much too soon, like being around people going about their every day lives was painful. I cried all the way home. Please be kind to yourself too and take the time you need xxxxxx

Hey ladies! Anyone using the Premom app? I downloaded it today but I can already feel that I’ll become obsessed with uploading OPK tests 😂

@Badlydrawngirly I have found counselling is helping me. Was terrified at first but counselling has helped me realise that I can't force it and need to stop putting pressure on myself. My sleep is slowly improving its been nearly 2 months since miscarriage.
I'm not fully back to work (on a phased return).
Main thing is not to put pressure on yourself (easier said then done) and just take each day as it comes.

my DH has booked me a paddleboarding session as I can't get skiing. Outdoor sports is my happy place so hoping a few hours exploring the coast will help me feel a bit more me.

@SuzieDeLaTour yes I love premom for OPKs!! They show the progression so clearly! It's like a game trying to get a peak 😂😂 xx

@SuzieDeLaTour I use Fertility Friend

@Scottishskifun I love paddleboarding! Hope its super relaxing

Hi @birdbybird sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds a bit similar to my MC, I had a scan at what should have been 7+5 and it measured 6 weeks with no heartbeat. I started bleeding lightly at first brown, then red for maybe 3-4 days. Then the cramps got really heavy maybe on day 4-5 (like super super heavy period cramps), I took paracetamol and had my hot water bottle. The day after the cramps got really bad, they got a bit better which confused me, but on day 5-6 I felt something 'drop out', ran to the bathroom and pretty sure that was the sac. I expected to feel immediately better but I didn't, I then kept getting cramps, almost contraction-like, for two days. Then it subsided and the bleeding stopped a couple of days later - so the whole thing lasted around 10 days. Sorry for the details I just thought it might be helpful if you're going through something similar. If it helps, it was very tough and painful but manageable and while I felt awful in the midst of it, I felt a million times better just a couple of days later.

@HotCupOfNo sending you hugs and I hope things pick up for you, you've got this!

@Badlydrawngirly @Ralala totally with you, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster of thinking I'm fine one second and tearing up the next. Take the time you need to recover ❤️

@SuzieDeLaTour @AMS19 I think the the BBT thermometer I just bought is linked with the premom app but I haven't downloaded it as I thought fertility friend was the 'go-to' but maybe I should give it a try, sounds addictive

@AlbiMix oh Fertility Friend is the go to for temping for sure! But I use premmom to scan the OPKs in and see the trend. I use that to determine when I've hit a peak, which I then input into FF

@AMS19 you're such a guru might give that a try but first I need to understand how to use opks properly I think. Basic question - is it pointless to use an opk just 2 weeks after an MC? I haven't even done a pregnancy test yet as I didn't think it would be negative yet, so I assume using opk could be confused at this stage? Or am I totally misunderstanding?

@AlbiMix no you're totally right, until you get a negative hcg test OPKs will be little use as they will pick up hcg thinking it's LH. Once your HCG tests are negative LH tests should be absolutely fine to use 😊

@AMS19 you are such a guru!! Now I’m thinking I need fertility friend and temping just to keep up 😂

@SuzieDeLaTour haha honestly I'm such a geek that I enjoy all this part of it! 😂😂

@AMS19 I love how much knowledge you have, thanks for sharing! I've bought some opks but will wait until after I get a negative HCG...by the looks of what other ladies are saying it sounds like it'll be a while!