Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 3. ALL welcome!

[AMS19]

Previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4139555-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-2-ALL-welcome?pg=1

@CocoLoco88 @Pettylamby @KJLM @Pimmsandprimroses @MysteryB23 @Redfoxinthesnow @Sherryxxxx @TheDaydreamBelievers @SuzieDeLaTour @Seasalt1984 @Mellous @Summersun001*@DMT1982 @Neady1980* @tamsin424 @Scottishskifun @MysteryB33 @Gillsa2000 @Slk3558 @Jam291 @Gymbelle @mia2201 @Applecrumble24 @Jujujuberry @Enola41 @Ralala @wag1987 @glowingtwig

Sorry if I've missed anyone, MN wasn't showing me everyone who had posted xx

@KJLM @PlantMummy87 thanks for your advice ladies. I’ll definitely check out that link - it’s lovely that you’ve found it so calming and now look forward to it. I need a bit of that in my life! 😀
@dippyegg32 I often get ovulation pain but mine doesn’t last longer than a day. I wasn’t that aware of it until I started tracking ovulation etc. Amazing the things we suddenly become aware of!! Hope the pain isn’t too much x
@LauraT94 that’s great news!! Everything crossed for you! X
@Seasalt1984 oh love, it’s so difficult when you long for something so much. I do think that we are all going to be symptom spotting and questioning every ache and pain. I echo what the other ladies said, I think a frer would have shown up as a positive by now. It does feel very unfair but if AF hits, just remember you’ll be on another cycle with another chance to get that BFP. Thinking of you lovely x
@HotCupOfNo oh I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. It’s so tough physically and emotionally so please don’t feel guilty - your head will be all over the place right now. I wouldn’t stress about whether to try again or not right now, take every day as it comes. You’ll feel up and down but it does get easier with time (cliche I know!). Also, don’t feel like you’re making a big deal of it! It’s your baby and you’re right to feel any way you want x
@Blondiebrownie6 good luck for tomorrow. I completely get the not wanting to sit around and wait. I was fortunate that I was offered the surgical option and it helped me having a plan and dates to work towards etc. Being in limbo is just crap!! I really hope it goes well 😘

Ladies!

I have a TMI question for those of us who've had a TWW after MC... I'm 2dpo today and I know my CM changing to sort of white school glue consistency is normal.. HOWEVER.. I'm getting so much of it.. Probably three or four times what I'd usually get! Do you think it's just my hormones in overdrive? 🤔🤔

@AMS19 @dippyegg32 @glowingtwig @suziedelatour thank you all ❤❤❤❤

I took myself out for a walk and a coffee by the river and sat on a bench for ages reading my book -followed by emotional breakdown in front of DH- and feel much calmer. The rational part of my brain could totally see I was in free fall but I just had to let it happen, like going down a hill on a bike with no breaks! Think I've rolled to a stop now 😉 ugh

@glowingtwig thanks for sharing that you had a similar experience, it helped me feel slightly less crazy! It's so cruel isn't it. I'd even gone through in my head when likely due date would be, when I'd tell work etc etc etc which is what I did when I was actually pregnant. Half my head was thinking "well there must be some mistake". It's nuts.

@dippyegg32 absolutely, we're having red wine and medium rare steak for dinner now! Think AF should appear in a day or 2. That will feel like a clean slate I hope!

@Blondiebrownie6 wishing you well with your med management, I had this too. Will keep everything crossed it works well for you. Although unpleasant, it helped bring me a sense of first step to moving forward. It's a bumpy journey but every day is a step towards feeling a bit better.

@HotCupOfNo I'm so sorry you've had to find yourself here. This thread and these ladies have been such valuable lifeline for me, I hope you find the same. Sending hugs your way x

Hi everyone, I need someone to talk me down for doing something silly. I could be wrong but have all the signs that I’m ovulating (pain and cm, sorry for TM!) and even a bit of a desire to BD 😳 (can’t believe I’m writing that). I’m not yet 2 weeks post ERPC but I fell pregnant in 2017 2 weeks after my tube removal (ended up as a blighted ovum) so I think it triggers something in my body. I know it’s a silly idea but I can’t get over ‘missing’ what could be a good egg. aaarghhh

So the friend who's zoom baby shower I went to last week had her baby today. Obviously happy for her but I'm also cross with myself for feeling so down about it. I really joined in during the shower, laughed and joked with everyone then ugly cried after. But now the baby's here I feel positively shit.

Hi @HotCupOfNo and sorry to hear about your MC, I just joined recently too, I'm just over 2 weeks since the MC started, it ended naturally for me and last week I had a scan which confirmed it was complete - so still pretty raw. Just wanted to say hi! Maybe you can milk the fact that your OH wants distractions, get him to do all the chores while you kick back Mine is on his third batch of washing up today and fine by me

One thing I would say is please don't feel guilty about 'making a big deal out of it'. I've read threads where people said they had much more pain during an earlier MC than a later one, it seems to vary so much. I have quite a high pain threshold due to other illness and my MC definitely pushed the boundaries of pain. When my family said things like 'its surely just a heavy period' it made me really quite angry as they had no idea what the pain felt like. Hopefully your hot water bottle is helping (I was chained to mine!) and you'll be over the worst of it soon. Sending lots of hugs

@Badlydrawngirly sorry I don't think I'm 'experienced' enough to give any advice on that, think some of the other ladies who are further on from their MC might be more knowledgeable on whether it's a good idea! My EPU said not to DTD for two weeks post MC due to infection risk...but I know some people conceive before they even have a period again...

Oh @dippyegg32 that sounds so tough, well done for getting through the shower, you're a better woman than I am for doing that. The thing that brought me to this group was how upset I felt when my OH asked me to Zoom with his friends who have a newborn and others who just announced a twin pregnancy. I got into bed and cried all day long. I think it's 100% natural and ok to feel sad for yourself, it doesn't mean you aren't happy for your friend. I don't think you should feel bad about that in any way, you're entitled to your sadness. Lots of love ❤️

Ladies I have a question about ttc again. We are taking a break until the summer at least to grieve and also improve my health with my thyroid condition before ttc again. But I’m already worrying about ttc again. I’m back on the mini pill to avoid any accidents so will come off this when ready again. Last time I came off the pill I didn’t even have a proper period before falling pregnant as it was very quick so my dates weren’t clear as I wasn’t tracking or anything. I’ll probably be more on the ball with that next time. If I got pregnant quick before is it likely I’ll get pregnant quick again? I know I’m probably worrying over nothing but I’m worried that was just a fluke last time? I need to stop letting my mind run away with me lol

Thanks @AlbiMix. I can’t recall what they said, I don’t think they said how long to wait. They did said what to ttc until I’d had a period and I’m meant to wait until after we’ve seen the specialist and had more tests. I know what I should do, I’m just struggling with feeling like I’m wasting time I don’t really have!

@MeganChar1 I think it’s hard to say for sure but it’s a good sign you fell pregnant so quickly last time you came off the pill. How long before ttc to you have to start taking anything prescribed by Mr S?

Thanks ladies , whilst not looking forward to it, I am looking forward to being out the other side and moving forward in the coming weeks. I’ll continue to read your positive/progressive stories as they’ve been really helpful xx

@AMS19 thank you ❤️ how are you getting on?

@SuzieDeLaTour thank you ❤️ I saw your message about your results the other day and just wanted to say I really felt for you! I hope you're doing ok x

@Pettylamby I didn't really know I was in TWW last cycle (first post-mc) so can't say if CM was any different! However this cycle I've had tons of CM leading up to Ovulation and now getting lots of creamy cm at 2dpo! I think healthy cm is usually a good sign!

@dippyegg32 I really feel for you with the baby shower. I've been feeling a bit anxious since ovulating as I'm worried about not getting pregnant, about getting pregnant etc etc etc (overthinking everything!!) And then got an advance invite to a baby shower for one of OH's close friends who is due 2 weeks before my baby would have been due 😢 I'm so happy for her but equally can't help but compare myself to her and where I should be right now/what I should be looking forward to.

@AMS19 I am not currently tracking ovulation as I never have before and I’m clueless. I bought some cheap OPKs in Boots but haven’t even taken them out of the box as I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to start!! Am I long enough past the miscarriage to start tracking now (have had negative tests etc.)? How do you track with the sticks, do you literally do one every day of the month?? 😂🤦‍♀️

@TheDaydreamBelievers it’s so difficult with the madly long cycles isn’t it. I totally agree that it feels like we’ve had so few chances and I wasn’t even expecting to get pregnant because the cycles had been so completely all over the place, so then for it not to work out... 😤 guess I need to try to be patient as it’s still only 6.5 weeks past the MMC for me! Have you been given any reason for your long cycles? I was told suspected PCOS but I don’t have any of the symptoms other than the irregular periods so... 🤷‍♀️

@SuzieDeLaTour so sorry to hear about your results, sounds like such a tough day. Like lots of the others have said, my heart went out to you and I hope things are getting easier bit by bit.

Sending positive vibes to everyone for the coming week! X

@CocoLoco88 they told me cause I was on the pill for so long. If it doesnt regulate the next time, I'm going back for more bloods to see what they can do.

Morning ladies

@CocoLoco88 you only need to pee on them around ovulation time. But obviously if you don't know when that is then once a day. You'll see the lines get darker when you are about to ovulate, then go lighter again after ovulation. Strictly speaking, it only indicates a LH surge and not that you've actually ovulated (hence why most bbt track too) but should give you an idea!

So sorry @HotCupOfNo that you've had to join us here, but like the other ladies have said this group has helped me so much, just to know your not alone is comforting. I have sadly had 2 MC's now, and no children yet, so feeling terrified at times. But I've also had a lot of support from family and close friends who believe in me. So basically when I feel like my emotions are getting out of control and I start to feel anxious, I say out loud (if im alone) "My body will carry a healthy happy baby to full term, and I will give birth to a live happy baby" It actually helps lift my spirits.. feed your mind faith, feed it truth, feed it with love. xxx

@Badlydrawngirly I was in the same boat as you 4 days ago, I had some ewcm, and was sooo excited but then my hubby was like no we should play it safe and wait for your 1st period, aghhh! So I totally understand love! xx

@Seasalt1984 aww I’m glad you managed to have a good relaxing day and feel better for it x
@dippyegg32 oh honey that’s so tough! I really feel for you. Don’t feel cross with yourself! You’ve just suffered a miscarriage - I think you did amazingly well to attend the baby shower and what you’re feeling is completely normal. Every single one of us on here understands exactly how you feel!! X
@Badlydrawngirly both times I’ve had a MC they told me to abstain for two weeks to avoid an infection. I think it’s sensible to wait for that window. With my first MMC I conceived at 2.5-3 weeks after my ERPC - the first time we slept together post miscarriage and without a period. If all got a bit confusing dates wise as I didn’t have a period for the EPU to date me from but pregnancy went absolutely fine and the little guy is currently munching on an apple in front of me ❤️ This time however I’ve decided to hold off - just felt I needed to let my body heal this time and emotionally I’ve found it harder and don’t think I could have done the whole TWW so close. I’m going to try this month though 😀 it’s really such a personal choice and you have to do what feels right for you x
@LauraT94 @CocoLoco88 thank you for your sweet words 😘

@Jujujuberry ahhhh I love your words xx

@SuzieDeLaTour I think it's so beautiful, you now have a little guardian angel baby girl who will help guide your rainbow baby to you x

@glowingtwig thats a shame the tests etc seem to be slow for you, like you say it feels like time wasted..altho can you carry on with ttc anyways, or do they want you to wait? I am going to ring up a private place tomorrow and see if I can book myself in

@Babyghirl I know right!!? At school your told you'll get pregnant if you touch a boy..if only we knew!!!

@AlbiMix Yeah temping is pretty confusing sometimes! How are you getting on now with it? I've taken 6 days of temps and so far they are all sitting around the 36.40C but then I had lots of ewcm so thought I should get a temp raise in the morn, but it hasn't been significant. Also annoyingly I've only been getting around 5:30hrs sleep for the past week.

Got my blood test results back from Friday... HCG

@AMS19 amazing news!!!! Fingers crossed this is THE cycle! X

Hello everyone.

I felt really ok the last few days and quite philosophical about it all. Then the doctor phoned last night and said she wanted me to go in for a scan on Friday. My hormone levels were still rising (only by a few mg) when they last tested my blood yesterday morning so I suppose they want to check that the miscarriage is going ok and isn't ectopic. She wouldn't say the words 'you're having a miscarriage', just 'it's not looking good and a pregnancy isn't viable with these levels', I just found it so heartbreaking I couldn't get that closure.

So I'm just sat around waiting for things to happen. I'm in quite a lot of pain and am having gushes of fresh bleeding but nothing that's making me think 'yeah this is it ok' if that makes sense? I feel like I'm being dragged along on this tortuous ride. I keep googling my levels and seeing if there's any hope at all, even though I KNOW what is happening here, I can feel it, but I just can't let go.

I want to start to grieve and I feel like I can't, I suppose that's what it is 💔

Amazing @AMS19, so pleased for you xxxxx

@HotCupOfNo it's so tough when it gets dragged out. Even after my private scan where I saw the sac was empty at 9+5 I kept thinking "maybe baby was hiding". Your brain just cannot function that the baby has gone. It's bloody so tough. Im sorry. I promise though, 8 weeks on, it does get easier once you get past each milestone ❤❤

@AMS19 that's such good news about your test results, so pleased for you xx