Meghan markle ny times article

[stronglikemytea]

Does anyone else find it refreshing to finally see people in the public eye using their platforms to raise awareness on such raw issues?

Two weeks ago i miscarried. And in all honesty i felt so alienated as everyone around you seems to be going for scans or giving birth and your sat wondering why me?

To wake up to read an article written by a woman who has come away from such a strict establishment and speak up about such a heartbreaking experience i find quite comforting and that it is OKAY to speak about such a painful loss.
To think that even though these people who are open to the world and ripped to shreds by the media and trolls, we must remember are still human.

After reading meghans article i am heartbroken for the couple as knowing that same feeling is something i will never forget also. But at the same time i am grateful that she has opened up and made it clear we need to talk more.

For anyone who has miscarried/loss or going through a hard time, you are amazing and strong do not ever think any different xxx

You literally said you feel the article is attention seeking

A couple of humans lost their baby. How can one feel anything but sorrow and compassion for them?

Exactly @dementedma, the only appropriate response really is "how sad" or words to that effect. Critcism or spite is best kept to yourself in this scenario.

You can usually rely on MN to be sensitive and understanding about pregnancy and baby loss, but when it's Meghan, nothing is sacred. Just permanent open season.

It’s already been mentioned on a thread today (possibly even by you), but she’s not really acknowledged as a human being by some.

She’s a plaything to these people. They seem to enjoy knocking her down, actively seeking out opportunities to complain about her (while calling her attention seeking).

They’ll do anything to avoid the thought that she’s an actual human with feelings like the rest of us. Like in the act of marrying Harry, she sacrificed that.

Millions of women suffer miscarriage and could do a much better job of writing about it.

I don’t doubt that but usually a famous person, whether a good writer or not, will get the attention for someone to start reading and that’s more important. There is no point writing the best article there is on miscarriage if nobody reads it.

I could write multiple articles on my miscarriages and daughter’s neonatal death but very few people are likely to read them. Contrast this with the massive headlines and clicks when very well known names, such as Beyoncé/JayZ or Mark Zuckerberg/Priscilla Chan etc, come out and talk about what they have experienced as a result of miscarriage.

It is a shame that the way Meghan’s article has been written has detracted from what has happened. I also can say that it’s not my experience that people find such topics to be taboo.

@Gancanny

You can usually rely on MN to be sensitive and understanding about pregnancy and baby loss, but when it's Meghan, nothing is sacred. Just permanent open season.

The attitudes towards her remind me of several of my in-laws. Everything was absolutely great until the wedding was announced and suddenly I was considered a manipulative bitch who was stealing their precious boy, it got even worse when I was pregnant and the prevailing view was that I well and truly had my hooks into DH now that I'd locked him in for the next eighteen years. I can well understand why Meghan and Harry stepped back and moved to the US, that sort of atmosphere is toxic.

It kills me, I swear, this narrative of the evil seductress who got her hooks into poor Prince Harry to lead him astray. As if Harry hasn't spent the last 20 years being a completely loose cannon who clearly hates royal life and all it entails (and who the fuck could blame him after what he's been through?). Chelsy Davy said their relationship ended because she couldn't hack the intrusion and goldfish bowl, and Meghan can't either....he's clearly drawn to women who feel the way he does about it!

And this endless horseshit about how they said they wanted a private life and are therefore morally reprehensible every time they do anything...no they didn't! They know they'll never get one, they're too high profile. What they wanted was not to be working royals, to earn money another way, and to have more control over their PR. Do people really not understand why the son of Charles and Diana might want that?

Nobody else would get this level of shit for talking about her miscarriage, even if she did do it in a way that's perhaps a bit effusive for the British audience for whom she wasn't writing. A crap Z lister off reality TV would get a more sympathetic reception. But Meghan?

She's damned if she does and damned if she doesn't. Remember all the threads about her 'forcing' Harry to quit his role as a senior royal? As if he's a three year old rather than a fully grown man and as if he hadn't been making noises about being unhappy for many years before he met her.

It kills me, I swear, this narrative of the evil seductress who got her hooks into poor Prince Harry to lead him astray.

Also, this idea that he would have made a better choice by marrying one of the blonde aristos he dated and/or Meghan was reprehensible for accepting the proposal, thinking she could hack it in the royal family when she couldn’t.

The blonde aristos all turned him down (because of the utter shit they knew would come their way presumably). What did people want for him, no marriage at all? It’s becoming more and more obvious what a poisoned chalice ‘marrying in’ is (though only for women, interestingly).

@TheKeatingFive

You can usually rely on MN to be sensitive and understanding about pregnancy and baby loss, but when it's Meghan, nothing is sacred. Just permanent open season.

It’s already been mentioned on a thread today (possibly even by you), but she’s not really acknowledged as a human being by some.

She’s a plaything to these people. They seem to enjoy knocking her down, actively seeking out opportunities to complain about her (while calling her attention seeking).

They’ll do anything to avoid the thought that she’s an actual human with feelings like the rest of us. Like in the act of marrying Harry, she sacrificed that.

You asked why people were angry with her for wearing a coat, you may not have seen the answer before the thread went kaput. It couldn't possibly have been cold enough to need one, you see, so clearly she wore it as a fashion statement and to be ATTENTION SEEKING. God save us from all these terrible women and their need for ATTENTION!

Meanwhile, Kate wore a coat with military-style epaulette thingies on the shoulders to the Remembrance Day service, entirely appropriate but arguably making a kind of fashion statement, and you would need a barn to house the fuck that nobody gave.

What a nasty thread
Yuk!

It couldn't possibly have been cold enough to need one, you see, so clearly she wore it as a fashion statement and to be ATTENTION SEEKING. God save us from all these terrible women and their need for ATTENTION!

I know, right?

And if she hadn’t worn a coat, we all know that would have been pulled apart for being disrespectful.

It’s mind boggling all this.

I thought the article was really well written, and would have brought some benefit in shared reflection, as well as raising awareness of baby loss.

She came across really well I think. Comparing her and kate is like chalk and cheese.

Goes to show how much of what we know is going on behind the scenes about anybody, and will remind us not to make assumptions about people regardless of their background or privileges..

@IrmaFayLear

I dunno.... And I am speaking as someone who is no stranger to this.

Miscarriage is incredibly common, and if the loss occurs in the first trimester I don't think it should be labelled as "tragic" as this makes so many women feel that their loss is not normal, but unusual .For me it would be more helpful if it was couched in terms of "this happens in X% of pregnancies/increases with age" .

Obviously repeated miscarriages is something to be investigated, but making a tragedy out of a very common occurrence could cause more women to feel they should be devastated rather than incredibly disappointed.

I've had 4 1st trimester losses after 18 years of fertility issues. I wasn't just disappointed. I was absolutely fucking heartbroken as was my OH. Especially because with our most recent loss and me getting past the previous loss stages of 4-6 weeks, we had started discussing buying a bigger house and which colour silver cross pram we were going to be buying.

I thought the article was well written too, a bit wordy for my taste but I have a friend who writes like this, it's just someone's style AFAIC, and good on her for talking about this.

And she highlighted other issues too, so it just wasn't about her and her loss. Great stuff.

But as usual anything they do brings out the very very worst in some people, I cannot believe that women on here and elsewhere tear other women down like this, it is beyond me. Where's the support for your fellow human being, a woman that has gone through a miscarriage.

I actually think Harry's mother would be proud of him for doing what he wants to do, walking away for the sake of his family, I think this life suits him better, well done him.

I've had 4 1st trimester losses after 18 years of fertility issues. I wasn't just disappointed. I was absolutely fucking heartbroken as was my OH. Especially because with our most recent loss and me getting past the previous loss stages of 4-6 weeks, we had started discussing buying a bigger house and which colour silver cross pram we were going to be buying.

Do not let the spiteful, moralistic, judgemental and mean-spirited comments on this thread or any of the others make you feel that you are somehow doing miscarriage "wrong". Some women aren't hugely affected, some don't want to speak openly about it, some aren't moved by Meghan's piece, that's absolutely fine. But you are not doing anything wrong on any level if you feel differently.

I'm sorry for your losses and I hope you have a healthy baby in the future.

Having had a mc myself after having two healthy pregnancies I was devastated, I just assumed you got two blue lines you got a baby. I had quite a traumatic time, I miscarried at home while in some charge of a one and three year old (long story) and felt very let down my the medical profession. I feel nothing but sympathy for Meghan and Harry. And if she’s wants to write about it good on her.

In my mother’s generation you only went to the doctor when you had missed 3 periods, probably a lot of women had miscarriages then and didn’t know just thought it was a late heavy period.

I feel for anyone going through for once press give her a break please. 💐💐to all of you who’ve suffered this.

I'm not great fan of Harry and Megan or the RF in general, I think it all gets a bit boring but if she did it to get sympathy, which was said earlier, is there anything wrong with wanting a bit of sympathy when bad things happen? If I was standing at a bus stop and someone I'd never seen before was upset about something trivial or serious I'd sympathise because that's what you do isn't it.

Reading this thread, all this talk about the stigma and how unkind people are I wonder what is happening to everyone. I've worked with people, known people socially who have had a miscarriage, lost a child or even just split up with a boyfriend and everyone around would sympathise.

I can remember in the late 60s when every woman I knew was hoping, maybe praying, that Sophia Loren would have her baby after several miscarriages, I can't remember how many. I remember how everyone sympathised with her and she had bed rest for the whole pregnancy once it was confirmed and it was headline news when the baby was safely born. I wonder if anyone would even notice now.

It is a sad state of affairs.

Evening, everyone. We're going to close this thread overnight as it's still getting a lot of reports and we don't want the poor Nightwatch to be inundated. We'll reopen it and see you in the morning.

I feel that it was a well-written article. I feel sorry for their loss and glad that famous people are speaking more publicly about miscarriage and baby loss. It breaks the silence and the pressure to grieve in private - especially if it was "only" first trimester, as so many seem to imply should mitigate grief. Just because it's more common, doesnt make it okay. I also want to pick up on something another poster said about it not being unbeatable - something can emotionally feel unbearable even when you know practically that over time you can and will cope.

So many criticising Megan dont seem to realise that a right to privacy means that they can share what they wish to as a couple, without the press sharing things that they dont want shared. It's not like they have taken a vow of silence about their lives forevermore.

*unbearable not unbeatable

@IrmaFayLear

I dunno.... And I am speaking as someone who is no stranger to this.

Miscarriage is incredibly common, and if the loss occurs in the first trimester I don't think it should be labelled as "tragic" as this makes so many women feel that their loss is not normal, but unusual .For me it would be more helpful if it was couched in terms of "this happens in X% of pregnancies/increases with age" .

Obviously repeated miscarriages is something to be investigated, but making a tragedy out of a very common occurrence could cause more women to feel they should be devastated rather than incredibly disappointed.

This comment reminds me of why I personally didn't talk about my three miscarriages. I was upset enough without hearing stupid insensitive comments such as this. The fact that something is common doesn't make it less devastating if it happens to you. Knowing that it might happen to you also doesn't make it less devastating. The fact that you may have had a miscarriage doesn't make you the Fountain of all knowledge on how people should feel about this because everyone's circumstances are different.

I feel empathy for all who have a miscarriage. Many of us have experienced them and have all had very different reactions and experinces. My last impacted my dh far more than me and if we talk about it I am very mindful of this.

Op huge hugs and sympathy, life can be so cruel and I wish you all the best for the future.

The piece in the Times did nothing for me. I wish both Meghan and Harry all the best but the piece made me feel like I was reading a greeting card message. However I am aware of how different the experience is for everyone, in fact how different each time. I also believe people need to be able to express themselves in a way that helps them. If this piece helps one person or comforts them, beyone Meghan and Harry then it has done a lot of good and that can never be a bad thing.

@GroundAlmonds
I stand by my statement. Kate might be smart but how in the world do you compare that with MM?
I am not being nasty. It’s a comment from someone who believes in meritocracy and believes that if someone has been working hard, that should be appreciated and applauded. What is wrong with that?