Meghan markle ny times article

[stronglikemytea]

Does anyone else find it refreshing to finally see people in the public eye using their platforms to raise awareness on such raw issues?

Two weeks ago i miscarried. And in all honesty i felt so alienated as everyone around you seems to be going for scans or giving birth and your sat wondering why me?

To wake up to read an article written by a woman who has come away from such a strict establishment and speak up about such a heartbreaking experience i find quite comforting and that it is OKAY to speak about such a painful loss.
To think that even though these people who are open to the world and ripped to shreds by the media and trolls, we must remember are still human.

After reading meghans article i am heartbroken for the couple as knowing that same feeling is something i will never forget also. But at the same time i am grateful that she has opened up and made it clear we need to talk more.

For anyone who has miscarried/loss or going through a hard time, you are amazing and strong do not ever think any different xxx

I'd rather read an "imperfect", personally-written article like that than some edited thing that could have been written by anyone.

@Needanewnamenow

I think there's two things here, the miscarriage and the 'are you ok?' I have felt no shame in discussing my miscarriages and have received nothing bad in response. But despite the fact they were in a very short period of time (three in six months) hardly anyone asked if I was ok. I wasn't I was a complete f*cking mess ( still am to be honest) and maybe that says more about the people I thought were my friends but I found that few people want to follow up beyond the initial platitudes

And that is why this article will be useful.

So, off the back of MM’s article the OP, who has had a mc, has posted saying that it is a good thing that talking about MC is now being encouraged, and as such she has gone on to talk about her own miscarriage.

And by slagging off MM, and saying how every woman has miscarriages and people should just accept them, the posters on this thread have done exactly what people who have MC have said they do. They have stigmatised the discussion of miscarriage and criticised someone for doing so.

This thread will very likely be deleted (in fact I’m surprised it hasn’t been already,) and thus the message has been delivered. Someone talking about miscarriage should be shut down. Somehow I don’t think the OP will feel as comfortable talking about her MC after this.

Nice going there.

@PaperTowels

I'd rather read an "imperfect", personally-written article like that than some edited thing that could have been written by anyone.

Fair enough. Equally for others that style of writing is the literary equivalent of listening to nails on a blackboard. Neither is wrong.

'Seeing a few people on here saying that miscarriage is "a deeply private thing to a woman". Why? Is cancer a "deeply private thing" that must not be discussed'

You discuss medical issues with your family and friends don't you.

Raising awareness is not using a sad event to muse over totally unrelated current political issues. It's weird.

Maybe. but I can't see why she thinks she's so important.

Fgs, she's been asked to write this, she didn't write it and then instruct the NYT to print it.

I do not think I am as important as she does - and I have the right as a member of public to criticise her.

I just feel, having had a miscarriage myself, that reading this, with it's flowery/treacly words, especially on Thanksgiving, comes across as another MM way to garner more attention to herself.

"I have the right to say it", is a weak and reflective defence that says nothing about the actual point. Nobody has said you can't criticise her, or even that you can't speak about your own miscarriage however you prefer, even as you castigate Meghan for how she chose to speak of her own.

But if you want to speak about her, and criticise her, and deny racism (which I haven't mentioned), and join internet discussions about her...yes, she probably isn't wrong to think you're interested in her and she has some level of importance to you.

The number of people who join in discussions about her to complain that she thinks people are talking about her...

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'Seeing a few people on here saying that miscarriage is "a deeply private thing to a woman". Why? Is cancer a "deeply private thing" that must not be discussed'

You discuss medical issues with your family and friends don't you.

Raising awareness is not using a sad event to muse over totally unrelated current political issues. It's weird.

No, it's not weird. It's a very helpful way for many, many people to realised that there are far more miscarriages than are generally realised.

Most people on the thread are supportive or slagging the writing style.

A few are saying miscarriage should be private. I believe that's wrong.

Btw getting the writing style correct is fundamentally important and that's not unique to Megan. If you are in the public eye and wish to write or discuss something important then a lot of time and effort does, or should, go into making sure that message is clear. Her writing style diverts from her very important message sadly.

Sorry for the losses of anyone on here who has suffered a Mc or still birth.
The more this issue is talked about and the more people realise it can happen to anyone the better
I’m no great MM fan but she is an actress who has spent a large part of her life looking for publicity (while ironically also wanting privacy) so just because she is speaking publicly about this it doesn’t mean it hasn’t affected her as deeply as anyone else going through it.
Obviously she didn’t have to worry about having time off work or her DH taking unpaid time off or accessing good medical care but at the end of the day, Princess or Pauper a lost baby is a tragedy,

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'If Meghan Markle found the cure for cancer some of you would be queuing up to give her a kicking '

Have you read it? It isn’t a miscarriage awareness thing it's more like a sermon.

Sorry for anyone who has had a miscarriage.

It isn't a miscarriage awareness article though is it. It's about dealing with difficult times and taking the time to ask people of they're on and actually giving a damn about the answer. She isn't doing an infomercial

Someone I know vaguely (through being part of the same GC group) wrote an article in a major newspaper last year about "miscarriage stigma", inspired by her own experience of speaking publicly about miscarriage and being attacked and shamed for it.

This was an ordinary woman who's not a celeb. The comments about it here on Mumsnet were pretty much all positive, and many posters shared their experiences of feeling that miscarriage was stigmatised, or of being treated unkindly and being shut down when they tried to discuss their own miscarriages, and the general perception that miscarriage is taboo and not to be spoken off outside maybe your mum and your best female friends. Some women even shared stories about their own mothers being uncomfortable with the subject and saying things like "you shouldn't be talking about that, just forget it and put it behind you."

Obviously not everyone will experience stigma. But Meghan didn't invent the concept, there have been plenty of major media articles about it before, and it's something women have been talking and writing about for years.

'It isn't a miscarriage awareness article though is it. It's about dealing with difficult times'

Yes I suppose so. Wonder if anyone has asked Thomas Markle if he's ok, or asked the RF if they're ok..

"Miscarriage at her age is sadly extremely common almost to be expected though."

Really? Almost to be expected? According to the statistics I've seen (this one is from Tommy's but I've seen many other corresponding stats) -

If a woman is under 30, she has a 1 in 10 chance of miscarriage
If a woman is between 35 and 39, she has a 2 in 10 chance of miscarriage.

So I wouldn't really say miscarriage is to be expected, she's only 39 isn't she, so a 2 in 10 chance as opposed to 1 in 10 if she was in her 20s.

@stairway

I do feel sorry for her and Harry, particularly as there has been speculation about baby no2. I hope they do get to have no2 soon. Miscarriage at her age is sadly extremely common almost to be expected though.

You think a 20% risk means its to be expected?

Since someone has been so insensitive to comment that cancer is a medical issue that should be kept between friends and family too, I'll just mention the blogs written by John Diamond, Ivan Noble and Rachael Bland which bravely and selflessly helped many others who were going through the same horrific situation.

No, 'keep it private' is not a helpful, or compassionate, response.

I lost my baby in June and still am very upset about it so I feel it's good to speak out and discuss miscarriage, my OH has been my rock throughout his time as I hope is Prince Harry to his wife It's a bloody awful experience as those of you that have lost a baby will know and I sympathise with anyone who has gone through this whoever they are, the loss is still unbearable even if the child is the Queen's great grandchild.

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'It isn't a miscarriage awareness article though is it. It's about dealing with difficult times'

Yes I suppose so. Wonder if anyone has asked Thomas Markle if he's ok, or asked the RF if they're ok..

Well we have no idea whether she's built any bridges with her Dad, but he has other family around them so it's as much on them as her. Same for the royal family. There's obv enough conversation going on for them to let Princess Eugenie (Beatrice? The pregnant one) love on their house!

@Port1aCastis

I lost my baby in June and still am very upset about it so I feel it's good to speak out and discuss miscarriage, my OH has been my rock throughout his time as I hope is Prince Harry to his wife It's a bloody awful experience as those of you that have lost a baby will know and I sympathise with anyone who has gone through this whoever they are, the loss is still unbearable even if the child is the Queen's great grandchild.

I'm glad your oh has been supportive. I'm sure Harry will have been too. My now exH was fucking awful. He walked out of the house and off to work while I was bleeding, and told me to let him know how I got on. I did it all by myself with an 18 month old toddler in tow. It was awful.

Pp are right that those around them feel it's not a big deal, or they should suck it up. Nobody ever asked if I was OK. I just had to get on with it. And that was the second time as well.

So I'm glad that people feel more able to talk about their experiences. And if the MM article helps people do that (in spite of the awful writing) then that can only be a good thing.

to everyone who have experienced a loss

Fgs, she's been asked to write this, she didn't write it and then instruct the NYT to print it.

So what, the NYT somehow found out through the grapevine that MM had a mc and contacted her to write a piece??!

Come on.

This was organised by Sunshine & Sachs.

And that's fine. It's actually very normal in the celebrity world. You have something to say, so your PR shops it around. Its a credit to her high profile that she got the NYT but if she hadn't I'm sure she'd have gotten the Washington Post or someone else.

This was an ordinary woman who's not a celeb. The comments about it here on Mumsnet were pretty much all positive

I agree. I think the reason she will get negativity though is because of the lucrative Netflix deal, and I think the photo shoot at the cemetery didn’t come off well either. So the timing is a bit off. As essentially now they are not in the RF they will be making money from publicly.

I personally think it’s completely her choice to share, I just hope it’s for the right reasons and that when things calm down she doesn’t wish she’d kept it more private.