@CountryGirl84
I don't post in this thread anymore - my MMC all happened April-Jun, but now and again I get a notification that someone does.
Firstly, so sorry that you are having to go through this too, like so many other women.
I thought it was the case where you could have someone with you at scans now, but perhaps that's just a Wales decision, I'm guessing not if you didn't. This in itself makes me sooo angry, I mean, it's a national disgrace that (if you're not in a locked down area), you can sit in a pub or restaurant with friends and family (again not the case in Wales if they're not in your extended household), but that it's considered ok for women to have to go through this on their own. But my outrage doesn't help you.
I found out I had an MMC in April after some light bleeding, not that the hospital would have me in for a scan, I was lucky enough to get a private one, and when there wasn't good news, then the hospital got involved. Had 2 medical management in hospital, the first one caused some pain and bleeding but didn't work, then on the second, like you, the pain was like nothing I could imagine, and ended up on my second gas and air cannister before it stopped. But it still hadn't worked. They then performed surgery under a spinal block when I refused point blank to do it again.
I don't think anyone particularly gave a shit about what that did to me mentally, and like you, packed me off with a leaflet, antibiotics and a pregnancy test to take in 3 weeks. They won't do another scan because presumably if the test is negative, that's the end of it. Again, not the case for me. Bleeding continued for 4 weeks, though did get lighter at one point, only to get heavier last bank holiday weekend in May with clots. They were clear that I should get back in touch if the bleeding got heavier after they discharged me, or if I had pain, but not if it didn't stop. I didn't contact them sooner as was worried I would seem like a hypochondriac.
I asked if I could come back in for a scan, which they were reluctant to do because of corona still, but I think they realised I had had enough at that point, so I did. Despite a negative, there were still retained products, some measuring 7.5cm, which was causing further issues. I then went back in for surgery again, fortunately this time under general anaesthetic - this would have been my first choice at the very beginning.
However, I also insisted that if they had to perform the surgery again, fine, but I expected to come back in for a scan to check as soon as I could after, so there could finally be an end to it all. Had to wait 2 weeks before I could go back so that they could see clearly what was going on on the scan. Turns out it still didn't work entirely, but the 7.5cm piece was down to 2.5cm, and it was the best solution without causing damage just to leave it there, as it had already started to harden - no surprise given the heartbeat had stopped about 3 months ago. Consequently, I have a hostile womb, and if it tried to implant to those parts, it would fail anyway and come away. That's not to say it can't attach elsewhere, but doesn't fill you with optimism. What a shit show. And women all over the UK are going through this or something similar, and for the large part, on their own...
I think you are fine to start trying as early as you want to, and I've even read you are most fertile in the 12 weeks after a miscarriage. I've agonised over what to do for a while, you can't go through something like that without it having a bad effect on you, and I can't do that again, but I do want another baby. Like you, tried for 13 months this time, whereas my first was a matter of weeks. I'm also getting older - 39 in June, and if I'm not pregnant by the time I'm 40, I want to knock it on the head - not that there's anything wrong with babies after 40, it's just not for me. I'm taking the approach now where I'm not trying to stop it, but equally, I'm not making full use of the fertile window like I was before. Fate can decide.
Also, you don't necessarily have to wait until after first period - think mine took about 7-8 weeks, apparently they just say that so if you do get pregnant, it's easier to date.
Hope this helps, it has helped me getting it all out again, as haven't discussed it with anyone for a good few months now, and whilst the pain softens, it doesn't go away.
x