Missed Miscarriage

[Hol54321]

Hi Ladies,

Just looking for some friends at this devastating time. It's one of those, that will never happen to me moments but sure enough it did. Went along to my 12 week scan and boom, I'm hit with the news that baby has no heartbeat. They also said baby looked smaller than expected so did an internal scan too. They measured baby and said it was approx just over 9 weeks. Can not explain the effects on both myself and my husband. It was our first baby. Gone but never forgotten 💖

New thread is busy already! People might join and get their BFPs while we're all sitting here waiting for our periods lol!

@Workingmama1 Just checked the NHS website and it says to avoid having sex until ‘all of your miscarriage symptoms have gone’, so nice and vague 😂🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I had heard two weeks before, too and assume if the bleeding has stopped then it’s fine!

@Sakura54 😂 I thought the same! It’ll be us soon 🤞🏼

@SkyBlue20 @workingmama1
I wasn't told anything about sex or infections or anything just been merrily having sex for 10 days or so... Now I'm panicking! All they said to me was your period will probably come back in 4-6 weeks and keep taking folic acid. Didn't even tell me to take a test. I wonder if it's because I had the surgery?

It's also my understanding that you must wait for 2 weeks and bleeding has to stop first before DTD. I'm not taking a test as they didn't tell me to. I was also told to wait for my period before TTC. My brother was told to wait 3 months! Different places give different advice when it comes to everything. I stopped bleeding a while ago, but we're being a bit careful to give my body a chance to heal and regulate. Nothing wrong with TTC straightaway though. I stopped taking folic acid weeks ago and not planning to start again for a while as I CBA. At this rate, I'll be stuck on the new thread for a long long while!

@Sakura54 really? It's so strange how different all of our experiences have been in general - complete lack of consistency! We have been having loads of sex but we didn't start until about 10days ago when bleeding had pretty much stopped. I read loads of stories of people who got pregnant instantly before getting their period back so I thought we could take a punt at it! Hope it's all ok...

@smilingdonkey I had an MVA and wasn’t told to take folic acid, was just told to do a test in three weeks and ring if it’s still positive. I asked about having baths and using tampons and she said ‘we’d rather you didn’t just yet’ and that’s it. So strange how the advice is so different everywhere. They didn’t even mention TTC again or when I could etc 🤷🏻‍♀️ Good job the internet exists or we wouldn’t have a clue!

Hope everyone is doing ok today. We’re having a big house clear out and clean as it’s a state and that’s about it, very exciting 😂 Looking forward to being able to relax in a nice, tidy, clean home tonight though! Hope you’re all having much more interesting days than I am!

Seems like the advice is really inconsistent. I really wanted to dtd this morning (more for intimacy than conception) but instead we were just creative

I think the wait three months is outdated but wait for your next period before ttc is still being debated. A recent study showed that couples who conceive within 6 months of a miscarriage actually had better outcomes that those who waited longer, I'll try and find the link to it

@skyblue20 also having a house sort out, it's an absolute tip right now but I've sat down to have a brew

www.livescience.com/57175-getting-pregnant-soon-after-miscarriage.html

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4780347/

Also i was told to take folic acid if I want to ttc, if you're not trying then I guess you don't need to?

Also just realised after writing that how far I must have come, if not being able to have sex is one of my biggest frustrations right now thats a massive change from where I was a few weeks ago when I didn't even want to get out of bed. I don't think I'm completely over it, and not sure I ever will be, but I guess at least for me time has been a healer...

@Workingmama1 Thanks for those links, they make for very interesting reading! You have come so far, we all have, it’s amazing that we’re all now talking about trying again and things like that when, like you say, a few weeks ago we didn’t even want to get out of bed. Agree that I don’t think I’ll ever really be over it but time really has helped. Go us, women are so strong! 💪🏼💕
How did the house sort out go? We did most of the upstairs but downstairs is going to have to wait until tomorrow as right now I mainly want a glass of wine and to watch some telly!

How is everyone today?

My step daughter in law (we're a proper blended family!) had her baby today. I'm so happy for them and I don't feel jealous but it did make me feel unexpectedly sad. I was hoping that their baby and ours would grow up together and be the best of friends. I guess it was just another reminder of what won't be.

But as something to give us all hope, she has had 3 miscarriages, 2 before her first DS and one inbetween her DS being born and the new baby. Although the miscarriages were horrible, she now has two beautiful rainbow babies

Hi @Workingmama1! I’m good, thank you - spent the day ‘finishing’ cleaning the house (still rooms to go - we’ve done a proper deep clean!) and went on a walk. How’re you doing?

Lovely news about your step-DIL! Did she have a boy or girl? Completely understand the feeling sad - it’s that mourning for the life you thought you would have, isn’t it?! You’ll get there though ☺️ So very sorry about her miscarriages but lovely about her rainbow babies - nice to give hope.

Speaking of step children... did I tell you that a week or two ago I found out that my dad hadn’t even told his wife we’d lost the baby?! 🤦🏻‍♀️ The first she heard of it was when I was on FaceTime to him and mentioned I’d been in hospital (for my MVA) and he asked how I was - she asked him why I’d been in hospital when we got off the phone, he explained and she text me really apologetically. Typical of my dad, that is! 🙈 Luckily we hadn’t told my half siblings as they’re still very young, so didn’t have to explain anything.

This weekend is the first weekend through lockdown where I’ve really wished we could go out and get dinner or drinks, or meet friends or something. Getting a little bit cabin fevery being at home all the time, as much as I’ve been enjoying it! How’s everyone else doing with lockdown on top of everything else we’re going through?! Xx

@SkyBlue20 I had assumed your half siblings were 60 years old when we mentioned age gaps last time lol!

I've been spending my days doing nothing much but we take DS to the local green most days for a runaround. It's either that or he has to be strapped into his buggy as he can't be trusted not to go near people. The first few weeks of lockdown was spent in bed due to MS and tiredness, but I've put that to the back of my mind now.

@Workingmama1 that's lovely news! I can totally understand why you would feel sad. How is your DH finding it all?

@sakura54 Haha yes I didn’t really specify, did I?! They’re primary school age. Sounds like you’ve been having some lovely days just outside, sorry to hear you weren’t too well at the start of lockdown though, hope you continue to stay well 💕

So tired, been awake an hour but still dozing in bed, must get up and work soon though! Terrible night’s sleep. How’s everyone doing today? Xx

Just listened to Laura Whitmore's 'Castaway' podcast with Katherine Ryan, both of whom had MMCs - it's only about 10mins at the start of the episode (so far - I've not listened to the rest but they've moved on to other topics) and it's quite interesting, if anyone likes to hear other people's stories (completely understand some of us would rather not). Laura's also written a short article here about it:

www.hotpress.com/culture/laura-whitmore-responding-challenges-life-throws-us-short-film-sadhbh-22792162

Happened upon it as Katherine Ryan is in the press quite a lot today with quotes from the piece, saying pregnancy loss should be taught on the school curriculum. So glad someone is speaking up on it, I really do feel like the whole thing is so overlooked and what is talked about isn't very informative at all.

Interesting read. I saw some stuff on Katherine Ryan and thought she was right about it being taught in school.

So we dtd a few times over the weekend, and I'm now worried about an infection. I feel OK but my discharge has been smelly (sorry tmi!). No other symptoms but it's stressing me out. I got the all.clear on my internal.scan so there shouldn't be any retained products to cause infection. Google also suggests potentially bacterial vaginosis which it seems can be triggered by hormal changes or a prolonged period, which I guess the miscarriage bleeding is similar to. 3 weeks today since my miscarriage.

@skyblue20 can't believe your dad didn't tell her! I think men just don't always think of those things....

@Workingmama1 Oh no! Can you ring your GP/EPU and see what they recommend? Imagine it’ll just be a dose of antibiotics if there is an infection? How are you otherwise today?

How’s everyone else doing? Xx

Morning everyone! how are we today? xx

I'm still here, but maybe it's time to leave this thread as we're all in the other one now? My body aches from too much sprinting and playing around in the park lol there's nowhere else to go. How are you?

Ahhh ok, didn’t realise everyone had moved over! I shall head and stay over there ☺️

I’m ok, thank you - counting down to Fri to do my test (I can’t believe it will have been three weeks since my MVA already!) and trying to get back in to a good exercise routine. Also enjoying wine in the sunshine before we start TTC again and I may suddenly not be able to drink it again 😂

Hi all. I'm sorry for your losses.
I just had a third miscarriage confirmed (MMC, early miscarriage and now another MMC, blighted ovum). This makes me officially a recurrent miscarrier. Does anyone know where to go from here, what is the referral process? I have no idea what to do.

Hi @PurplePansy05, I’m so sorry for your losses 💕 Afraid I don’t really know the process but perhaps ring your GP or local midwife unit and see if they can shed any light? Hope you get some answers soon xx

Thanks @SkyBlue20. My head is all over the place. I can't believe I'm in this position again, especially in lockdown. My first MMC hit me really hard and I didn't think it could be worse, but who knows now.