TTC after miscarriage

[Winkle2020]

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

@RacheyB321 @Mybaby0434 Sorry to see that you’ve found yourselves here. It’s such a difficult time. I hope you have people around you supporting you and you’re taking care of yourselves.

@notalwaysalondoner Good news about AF- does it seem a bit more ‘normal’ this time (as opposed to the one clot)? I can’t believe your work - how completely unsympathetic after what you’ve been through. I suppose you could weigh up whether it’s worth getting out of there now, or if the mat pay is really worth sticking around for when it does eventually happen for you.

It sucks that we women still have to put up with bullshit decisions like this. This experience has made me really appreciate how strong women are- we have it bloody tough!

In my news, summer off TTC is quickly becoming summer off DTD altogether. So far I’ve had a yeast infection week after MC2 (Sorry, TMI, I know.) Now I have my third water infection since MC1 (March). Anyone else struggled with these other issues after MC? I just want to feel normal for a month and not have a crotch that feels like it’s on fire 🤣

Thank you ladies, yeah I have people round me I thought with the job I do people in work would make an effort and ask how I am but clearly not... maybe they just don’t know what to say I spoke to my managers yesterday and they told me to take as much time as I need I’ve got two weeks off up to now because the thought of going back on night shifts just brought back some horrid memories as the bleeding and cramps started on my night shifts and I think you think about things more on a night shift with it being quiet and not that many staff. I’ve started again today with clots is that normal I’m not sure as you can tell this was my first pregnancy. My doctor has given me lots of support which is nice she rings me just to check on me to see how I’m doing as I do suffer from depression and mental health. She did mention when I am ready to try again take the folic acid as that helps I don’t know how true that is have any of you ladies been told that? X

To be fair to my work, my manager doesn’t know what happened as I’m a consultant so your manager changes every project and the miscarriage happened before this project. Maybe I should tell her but I’m quite private and don’t really want to use it as an excuse or anything. If the same thing happens again though in terms of unempathetic feedback I’ll tell her, as I definitely reacted to her comments way more than I normally would due to the existing emotional stress I’m under from the miscarriage.

AF seems normal which is good, so hopefully we get lucky this month. I hope it doesn’t take ages to fall pregnant again as DH and I were both getting fed up of sex feeling scheduled and we were both getting a bit lazy with the quality of sex, so to speak!

@Hoppyhops that sounds horrible! I’m lucky I’ve never had a yeast or water infection but I know they’re super common!

Just saw my best friend and her lovely one year old and she’s told me she’s pregnant again - 13 weeks. It’s so sad as if my pregnancy had gone well I was due in December and she’s due in February. I’m really upset to be honest - I’m happy for her, it just feels like this year all of our friends are due and I’m the one still waiting. I know it took her nine months to conceive her first so it wasn’t smooth sailing for her either but this one was first time lucky... I’m just so fed up of waiting. Think I’ll have a good cry...

@notalwaysalondoner Aww it’s so hard as you want to be happy for them but you can’t help but feel that sadness for your own loss. Crying is cathartic! And loads of wine, I’ve found, haha. It’s a strange old rollercoaster of emotions but we’ll get there

Hi all,

Thanks for sharing your stories, you seem a lovely supportive bunch in a rubbish situation!

I went for 12week scan of first pregnancy on 22nd, to be told there was just a gestational sac. By size it is likely embryo got to 8 weeks. I had no symptoms of MC pre scan. It was pretty grim as partner not allowed and as others have found lots of beaming mums with bumps in waiting room. I had medical management that evening and am now desperately waiting for negative test. EPU said all sounds to have gone well, but to call back if not negative by 3 weeks.

My work don’t know, other than I had sick leave for ‘gynae’ reason the remained of the week of MC and asked to WFH the days I was due in last week.

I’m in a weird situation emotion wise as my Grandad’s funeral was on 29th - literally the hardest day I have ever had. Still spotting, not able to be within 2m of family as they all live elsewhere. Looking 5m preg with bloating and none of them know. My DH was an absolute rock. In some ways I think I took the occasion as time to grieve two losses. I’m back at work this week, but have tomorrow off, thankfully as exhausted!

Slightly frustrated this week as I have an Ava bracelet that’s telling me it’s time to DTD, but I know it’s not!

Wishing all of you luck on your journeys...:

@HopefulB I’m sorry, I also had an anembryonic pregnancy detected at an early scan at 9 weeks - luckily it was private and there was no one in the waiting room as this was peak Covid. We did see a couple leaving the appointment after ours all smiley holding their scan photos while we were still sat in the car crying, which was horrid.

So sorry it’s coincided with your grandfather’s death. How horrible for you. It’s hard enough to deal with one loss.

I had surgical management and my negative test cane only at exactly three weeks later, and my periods returned 8 weeks later. It’s now month one for me and still haven’t got a positive smiley on the clearblue OPK, would have expected one within the next day or two at most, so really hoping my cycles aren’t too disruptive.

Would you recommend Ava? I’m considering one.

Hi @notalwaysalondoner

Re Ava, I’m a bit of a data geek. I don’t have a fitbit, and wasn’t great at remembering to temp first thing so I quite like having resting HR, BBT, and HRV all measured whilst I sleep.

I think it can depend on your personality - if you are going to worry at every data point it may not be helpful?!

It’s pretty good at learning your cycle, and i’m not sure I’d have realised how late in cycle I ovulate without it!

In retrospect I also think it possible that the bracelet detected a drop in BBT, around the time the embryo stopped growing (8weeks).

Hope that helps?

Hi everyone. Sorry it's been a while since I last posted... After the last 2 miscarriages, I decided to take some time out from TTC and just enjoy the summer. I may have enjoyed it too much as I'm pregnant again 😂. Hope all is okay with you all xxx

Aww, lovely news and gentle congratulations to you @IWM20 ! Keeping everything crossed that this is a sticky one 🤞🏼

Congratulations @IWM20!!! Fingers crossed it sticks!

I got my solid smiley on my OPK yesterday - I wonder if we should just relax and stop tracking, but we did that last month after the miscarriage and didn’t get lucky despite DTD pretty regularly as we were on holiday! My ovulation also seems to vary from day 8 to day 16 so it’s helpful to know.

Congratulations @IWM20 and fingers crossed for you. Keep us updated please xxx

@notalwaysalondoner What OPKs do you use? I have the line ones and don’t get on with them at all because I never seem to get a ‘peak’ yet I’ve managed to get pregnant twice so it must be happening. I want to invest for when we get back to it next month haha

I use clearblue digital. They’re not cheap but I also got pissed off with the line ones as never seemed to get a peak. These ones are super simple and you get a flashy smiley face as you build up to peak then a solid smiley for peak 48 hours. I have short cycles so only use 6-8 sticks per cycle so it’s not too expensive. Really hoping we get lucky this cycle as we’ve DTD loads haha. But then we did for nine or so cycles before I got pregnant last time.

Ok, so this morning I am having bright red bleeding - no idea what is happening as I reckon I only ovulated yesterday or the day before so too soon to be a miscarriage or a period (last period started 16 days ago). Also doesn’t look like how my periods normally start. Any ideas?!?! Really fed up as was happy to finally be back to normal this month and start TTC again as my miscarriage was 3 June so a while ago but my periods took 8 weeks to come back.

@notalwaysalondoner Thanks- I’ll order some of those and give them a try this month then! My period has arrived 5 weeks after MC2 which is good as it took nearly double that last time.

Is the bleeding you’re getting light? Could it just be spotting as your body is settling down? I know that the fluctuation in hormones can sometimes cause spotting mid-cycle.

It was not spotting - it was basically a light-moderate 'gush' when I stood up after being in bed. But then no more for the rest of the day. I wouldn't be concerned about spotting but this was a moderate amount of blood. Enough to make my husband feel faint (he is squeamish about blood...)! I had a GP video appointment and they said it might be implantation bleeding - I'm very dubious though as I understand this normally occurs 7-10 days after ovulation rather than 1-3 days... She said they aren't worried about retained products of MC as then I'd have a fever or smelly discharge as it's been about 10 weeks since it happened. I'm considering having a private gynae appointment just to get checked out though. Obviously I hope she's right and I'm pregnant but I don't think she can be right due to the timing.

@notalwaysalondoner Ohhh yeah that does sound concerning! Hopefully the GP is right 🤞🏼 but I can understand that your mind might be more at ease if you can have a private gynae appointment. Hoping it all works out well for you!

Hi Ladies

For some reason I stopped getting notifications but that might have been good as i almost feel like I’m close to being back to a level/normal emotion after the miscarriage and have stopped obsessing - had my second AF which I knew was coming and since then I feel so much better.
@IWM20 CONGRATULATIONS - such amazing news!!!!!!
@notalwaysalondoner fingers crossed it is ovulation 🤞🤞🤞🤞

@notalwaysalondoner meant fingers crossed it’s implantation !!!

@WatermelonSugar10 Helloo! So pleased to hear you’re feeling good! I have to say that having a summer break from ‘TTC’ has been great for my mental health too. I will get back to it after this AF but it’s been so good to just relax, good luck for when you start trying again too!

I think AF has arrived ☹️ I hoped at first it was implantation bleeding as I had a tiny bit of brown discharge when my period was due last time before my miscarriage, but i think it’s just AF. My first day of my period is always really light flow so I always get my hopes up. DH is pretty gutted too. Think we might go private for some fertility tests after we get back from holiday just in case anything is wrong so we can get started on treatment if it’s required - as then it will have been a year since we started trying (admittedly with 3 months a write off due to being pregnant/miscarrying).

@notalwaysalondoner

So sorry to hear you are having the dreaded AF has come. My second period after miscarriage started very similar and I spotted brown for about 5 days :( I would love to do tests so if you can, go for it!! I hope you are doing ok xxx

Anyone else still trying on here? Was feeling very hopeful this month as had positive OPK and DTD for several days before and after. But AF started again yesterday with only a 21 day cycle. DH and I both getting so frustrated. We’ve booked a private appointment in a couple of weeks so hopefully we’ll find out if there is anything wrong as now we’ll have been TTC for a year with one anembryonic pregnancy. In total it will only have been 9 months actually trying as the pregnancy/miscarriage took out May to August but i have very short cycles so it’s been at least 12 cycles. So fed up and all my friends seem to be having babies or pregnant again.

@notalwaysalondoner We’re back to trying after a summer off but, to be honest, I haven’t been as stringently following TTC protocols (temping, LH testing, etc.) as I was before MC2. I’m back in work and absolutely exhausted so we managed to DTD for most of the fertile window and I got a positive OPK but I just haven’t been as strictly recording every niggle this month. I’ve had some spotting since ovulation but I had some last month too- trying not to read too much into it & just wait & see.

I’m debating whether to book for a private consultation to check fertility etc. Have you booked for a ‘fertility MOT’ or something else? I’m not sure what steps to take next if we have no luck over the next few months. We’ve also been TTC for just over a year but realistically about 10 months, taking out the MCs.