TTC after miscarriage

[Winkle2020]

Hello Ladies

Please give me some hope and confidence. I have been through a miscarriage recently. Had d and c and then retained products. Had to wait for my first af 9 weeks after d and c. Now in the last scan I was told that almost everything is gone except that of a very very small 8mm tiny bit left which will eventually come out in the next cycle. Doc has asked me to wait for just one more cycle to ttc. Somehow in the length of this whole episode which dragged for 3 months now, I feel very hopeless and scared to death about ttc. I really want to hold a baby and have a second child. I sob everyday endlessly alone. There is no one to talk to, I have no sibling or close friends and lost my mother 2 years ago. I am a full time working women and it takes a toll on my emotional health. I am terrified and abosultely scared to death to go through this emotional pain again. When I was going through miscarriage this forum has been my single strong support and I have come back again to get some hope from you lovely ladies. Please help

Hi both, I hope you're doing well. I caught in the summer and I'm now 9 weeks today (10 weeks by LMP but it was a MC bleed and not accurate. I've had 2 private early scans that have dated the same so far). I'm so anxious every day that passes. Fertility testing sounds like a really positive way forward. I think half of the battle is just not knowing. I'm hoping my issues were down to my thyroid which seems to be better controlled now but until they're here I don't think I'll be able to relax (and I probably won't when they are here!) xxx

@notalwaysalondoner sorry to hear that the dreaded AF has come this baby making sucks! The lack of control/knowing is what gets me when, yes, everyone around seems to be falling so quickly. But, what I have learnt is all these private struggles everyone else has too. I had to do a risk assessment on a colleague who is pregnant (hardest thing I have had to do yet) and part of me was so resentful that she was pregnant when I “should” be, then she explained she had been trying for over 18 months and had suffered loss - I had no idea.
I have just had my third AF since the miscarriage and it was my first “normal” one. For me, my body hasn’t bounced back like I thought it would - we fell pregnant first time so I assumed/hoped we would fall before I even had a period, life sucks as totally not the case. DH thought the same and I think is now slightly worried that it won’t be so easy. Does anyone else freak out about their age? I turn 35 at xmas and am totally freaked I’ve left it too late.
@IWM20 glad it’s still progressing!! and gosh, I can only imagine the nerves!!

So now I don’t know what to think - AF was very very light and mostly dark brown, so I took a test this morning and it was positive! I’m still having brown discharge which would make this the third day, which is more than is normal for implantation bleeding - last time I had one brown wipe on a tissue, not three days. So not sure if it’s a chemical pregnancy or if I’d just be one of those women who didn’t know she was pregnant as her periods appeared to continue! Anyway fingers crossed it sticks. I haven’t told DH yet as I can’t bear to get his hopes up, but I’m useless at keeping secrets so not sure I can keep quiet more than a day or so. We’re on holiday abroad and I only packed internet cheapies so also need to find a pharmacy to get a proper test.

Here is the test!

@notalwaysalondoner i have everything crossed for you both xx

@IWM20 It’s lovely to hear from you and I’m pleased that everything is going in the right direction. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and hope you will be able to relax a little and enjoy when you get past the 12 week stage 💗

@notalwaysalondoner Aww I really hope this is it for you- Fingers crossed. Keep us updated! 🤞🏼

@WatermelonSugar10 You’re so right about everyone having private stories. It makes me sad that people don’t talk about this more because so many of us are affected!

Hello everyone, I'm very new to this but I'm happy to have stumbled upon this site, you all seem very nice and extremely helpful in a time of need.

3 weeks ago I had a natural miscarriage at 9w5d. I took a pregnancy test this week and it showed negative (it still hurts to not see a second line), which I take to mean my hormone levels are back to normal.
Husband and I decided to throw caution to the wind and try to conceive again, and I used a OPK to show when I ovulated. I'm not sure how accurate it was, since my hormones were still all over the place 2 weeks after miscarriage, but we'll see.
This week I'm having some abdominal pain on either side of my stomach, and my boobs have been very tender and sore. Last night, husband and I had sex (sorry if this is TMI!!) but I felt a shooting pain on my right side so we stopped immediately.
I never felt implantation symptoms with my first pregnancy, so I'm not sure what it's supposed to feel like, but everything I've read online says this could be it. The shooting pain last night really worried me, and I couldn't find anything about painful sex during implantation or after miscarriage.
Has anyone else experienced this pain? If so, do you know what it is? I'm so scared to hope for another pregnancy, and yet here I am analyzing everything in my body hoping for a healthy baby this time.

Welcome @mouse7314! I haven’t had the symptoms you mentioned, with the pain, when exactly was the positive OPK? After my positive test last time I did get some uterine cramps/spasms after orgasm in the first week or two, just for a couple of seconds. I’d wait until you get a positive test and if you still have pain call the EPU as one sided pain can indicate ectopic pregnancy but I’m pretty sure it would be way too soon to tell if you’re only a week after ovulation and the pain would only start later. Plus there are normally other symptoms like bleeding. Fingers crossed! But I would say try not to expect a positive every month, it’s been three months since our miscarriage and we got a positive this month but not sure if it’s a chemical - but like all pregnancies, it can take many months. My period took over eight weeks to return after my miscarriage.

Hi @mouse7314 - I hope this thread can offer some support & comfort to you

Everything @notalwaysalondoner has posted is sound advice and I agree that you need to give your body time. Just because you’ve had a negative test, it doesn’t mean that your hormones have completely settled down- it can take a number of weeks. The pain could still be linked to that.

Of course, it is possible to conceive straight after a MC too but you will probably drive yourself nuts symptom spotting this early on. Try to relax and wait until if/when there’s no sign of AF. I know it’s easier said than done! I drove myself around the bend waiting for my body to sort itself out after MC1 but it just made me miserable. I am definitely happier when I’m not obsessing about it- lots of distractions help (work, walks, tv, family) Xx

@notalwaysalondoner thank you for replying to me!! My positive OPK was day 14 of my cycle (they've always been like clockwork) and I started experiencing these symptoms day 21-ish? It is now day 24 of my cycle, and I've started to come back to reality. I know that I probably won't be able to get pregnant again this quickly, but I still look for every little thing to give me a sign. One of the hardest things about recovering from miscarriage (for me) is the not-knowing.
Congrats on your positive this month and good luck, fingers crossed for you!!!!!

@hoppyhops this thread has already been so helpful to me, and so comforting finding others out there who understand the hurt. I don't have anyone else in my life who has experienced this pain, and I feel like everyone has expected me to move on by now. They don't understand what I've lost (and I say I because not even my husband can comprehend how blissful those 10 short weeks were).
I love the phrase "symptom spotting"!!! It makes me feel less crazy that there's a name for what I'm doing and that other moms do it too. Hopefully, AF will be here within the week so that some normalcy can return to my life and I'll have an answer for at least this.
Thank you for your response!!

Umm new to using this website...I just came here to know if I had a miscarriage or not...and i don't know how to post here yet, I have a picture I'd like it if someone can take a look and tell me what it could be..I just can't clear my mind until then as it's somewhat traumatizing to me..

Hi @mouse7314 ! Can totally relate to everything you have said as I felt so alone in the pain for some weeks, but three nearly four months later the pain has got a lot smaller - don't get me wrong, it is still there but its not at the forefront of everything I do anymore and I have more control of it. The not knowing is a flipping nightmare though! But, fingers crossed we will be pregnant soon. It has taken my body quite a while to get back to normal - amazing how much 10 weeks of pregnancy can do to a body!

@Star0007 I hope you are ok? Not sure a photo on here would help you, have you been in touch with the Early Pregnancy team or your midwife?

@notalwaysalondoner hope everything is going ok!

Unfortunately nothing is any clearer - I took more internet cheapie tests on Monday and Tuesday and today, but the line isn’t getting any darker and today I had light dark brown bleeding again - too much to call spotting but not enough I’m 100% sure I’m miscarrying. And it seems to be stopping again now. If I was in the uk I’d go in for blood work as I’d LOVE some clarity over what on earth is happening, but we don’t get home for another week. I’m trying to keep positive that at least the tests are still positive but the bleeding today made me feel very pessimistic. Poor DH is finding the uncertainty tough too. I just want to know one way or the other - I feel a chemical/miscarriage is most likely due to the bleeding plus tests not getting darker, but they’re not getting fainter either...

@notalwaysalondoner having brown discharge is always so confusing because it can mean so many different things. I myself had some light brown, egg white CM this morning, but none since.
Horribly, there's nothing to do but wait. Have you been tracking your temp? I know sometimes that can be helpful, but also hard to keep track of (higher temp=ovulation/ possible pregnancy). Also, have you had any cramps? I know that can be a symptom of any type of miscarriage, so no cramps is a good thing!
Hopefully, the brown blood is just old and is from your uterus contracting and making room for the new baby!! Maybe take a break from all the stress and symptom spotting (as if I'm one to talk), and the next day, who knows, maybe the line will be darker! Also, make sure you wait the same amount of time before you read the test. I have found that looking at them at various times can give you various results. They usually say not to read them past 5 minutes, but my first test was so faint, even my brother couldn't spot the line, but then 15 minutes later it was properly dark, and I actually was pregnant that time. It took almost a week of me obsessively taking tests that it got dark almost immediately. Everyone's hCG rises differently.
Glad to hear from you and crossing my fingers that all is well! XOXO

Hi all, I think I posted on this thread previously when I thought Medical Mgt had worked and I was going to be TTC imminently, but I ducked out when I found out mid August that there was placenta/molar tissue hanging on. Anyway, I had a hysteroscopy on the 21st, tissue all removed, not molar, and consultant suggested AF should arrive in 4-6 weeks. As soon as I got a negative HCG test (day 17 post op) & bleeding stopped I took a LH test, 3 days in a row it seemed to be dropping, so assumed I must have ovulated whilst still spotting a little. However I’m now at d34 with no AF. Definitely not pregnant. So wondering if this is annovulatory cycle? Does anyone have experience of that after loss? (Temp chart attached)

@HopefulB I didn’t do ovulation tests but my first cycle after the medical management was over 8 weeks long, so I really wouldn’t worry about the first one being different to normal. I had a GP appointment after 8 weeks and they said 4-8 weeks was normal but even longer was common.

So an update - spoke to GP and EPU midwife on phone yesterday and they both said they didn’t have concerns about ectopic so it was up to me if I want to go to hospital for a check up while abroad. I decided not to. Then this morning I had some bright red quite heavy bleeding and cramps so I’m 95% sure it’s an early miscarriage at 4+5. It’s not unexpected due to the test lines not getting any darker and all the spotting but of course very disappointing especially as we’ve had a blighted ovum missed miscarriage previously which would also have been an early loss so hoping it’s not a pattern...

Sorry to hear that @notalwaysalondoner, the unknown is so stressful in these situations. Have you got others to support you if needed whilst abroad? Can you rest up and try to relax (appreciating this is much easier said than done)?

@notalwaysalondoner so sorry to read this, I'm lost for words really. Is it possible to still have hope until you get back to your doctor in the UK?

@HopefulB I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks, the bleeding stopped after about 7 days, and I don't think I ever ovulated. I took OPK's but my temp never raised and I never had any fertile cervical mucous. My cycles are normally 28 days, with ovulation around day 14, but my first cycle after my miscarriage I didn't get AF until day 31 (today!). It drove me mad wondering what was going on with my body, but eventually, you will get some answers! If AF hasn't come by 6 weeks, I could contact your doctor again.

@notalwaysalondoner I'm so sorry to hear about the bleeding- nothing ever really prepares you for stuff like this. Keep us updated on what's going on and how you are, and don't forget we're here for you!

Hi all - just wondered how everyone was doing? I seem to have taken a step back this week and am focusing on the MC too much. I work in education so had the summer off when I was hoping to go back and surprise everyone with a bump but instead, I’m looking at the school year ahead thinking what should be. Also, is it me or are all celebrities pregnant at the moment 😂 another reminder
Just writing this has made me smile at my nuttiness so it’s already helped! Life goes on ❤️

Hi @WatermelonSugar10, I have a feeling that dates you’d envisaged telling people, or doing specific things are going to continue to be dips on the rollercoaster, but hopefully get easier as time goes on. I’m not looking forward to clocks-changing as I had anticipated working from home from that point.

This week I survived a meeting with one of my team about their maternity leave (they are about 4 weeks ahead of where I would have been). And today AF has arrived. Thanks @mouse7314 and @notalwaysalondoner for your reassurance. I got a second temp rise and then as usual on 3rd day of fall I started.

Hope you’re ok @notalwaysalondoner?