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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

waiting to see if i miscarry - doctor told me anxiety will expel my baby from my womb!

367 replies

Lcy · 15/08/2007 14:27

Hi

I just need to vent. I am 10 weeks pregnant and had brown bleeding at 5-6 weeks so EPU scanned me and saw a heart beat - bleeding stopped and i felt all was ok.

Yesterday i had a big brown bleed again and incredibly sore lower back pain so went to EPU again this morning. They had a new doctor who asked me to tell him the symptoms. After talking for 10 minutes he asked me whether i could be pregnant!!! I WAS IN THE EARLY PREGNANCY UNIT !!!

He then told me that lower back pain is not a sign of miscarriage and that i should ignore it. He did an internal and i could see that the blood had changed to bright red and i started to get tearful. He told me not to get anxious because anxiety would expel the baby from my womb!

Anyway - he told me i am having another threatened miscarriage but i will just have to wait and see if i miscarry and that i cant have a scan and that i will have to wait 3 weeks for my dating scan because they are busy.

Just feeling really anxious - i am waiting for my midwife to phone me back. I know that they cant stop a miscarriage but i would like to know whether the baby is alive or not.

Vent over - Lucy

OP posts:
Upsidedowncake · 20/08/2007 18:33

what flavour? I'm a phish food girl myself?

Original poster
Lcy · 20/08/2007 18:35

Cookie Dough - straight out of the pot. Tommorow will hopefully be a better eating day!

OP posts:
pipsqueeke · 20/08/2007 18:35

ooh upside down - now you're talking my language there. or the cookie brownie one hmm that's yummy.

lcy - it helps to talk others through it. glad your DH is looking after you.

Original poster
Lcy · 20/08/2007 18:37

Hi Upside - glad work are being understanding - mine are too which really helps. How are you doing today?

OP posts:
bumperlicious · 20/08/2007 18:48

Hi darl, I think ice cream is just what the dr ordered! Glad you are ok now, and that your hospital experience was better this time. It's good that you have some time off. Make the most of it - eat goat's cheese, rare stake and drink lots of wine, oh and cake mixture! xxx

TJuice · 20/08/2007 18:51

lcy - glad it went okay and that you had good people looking after you.

its still a bumpy ride. i was cool all day until i got home and spoke to my mum. she started off well and talked a bit about a miscarriage she had before she had me. Then she said "it was different though, because we were married" which just kind of grated on me. (I didn't realise how traditional they are until i told them i was pregnant - I have been with my bloke for 7 years but they thought i was doing things ass-backwards by not getting married first). I just don't see how its different.

but, maybe i am a little touchy . . .

after about 5 magnums, crunchies, rolos, snickers, ginger nuts, chilli-cheese fries, spaghetti, cheesecake and lots of red wine - i am trying to sort my diet out again

TJuice · 20/08/2007 18:52

and its got to be chunky monkey or cherry garcia for me.

Gumbo · 20/08/2007 19:48

Hi Lcy, been thinking of you all day and really glad it went so well. Here's hoping you're (physically at least) back ready to face the world in the next day or two.

EllieG · 20/08/2007 20:10

Hey Lcy - glad to hear the hospital people were nice and it went as well as could be. Ben and Jerrys v good comfort food! Make sure you take it easy, you've been through it physically and emotionally, and you need some r&r. Thinking of you xxx

daisyandbabybootoo · 20/08/2007 21:19

glad to hear you are OK Lcy and it's good that you are taking things easy. Be kind to yourself and to your DH.

I frown on your choice of B&J though...it's Cherry Garcia or nothing for me

kindersurprise · 21/08/2007 08:27

Hi lcy,
good to hear everything went well and that the staff were good to you.
Now take your time, relax and recover, and go and get some more icecream today!

Upsidedowncake · 21/08/2007 09:04

Hi Lcy

How did you sleep last night? And how are you doing today?

I've slept through for the last two nights. I'm finding things are a lot easier after Friday's Martini zone though am getting really, really tired.

Tjuice and daisy, I've never actually tried cherry garcia. Does it have chocolate in it? If not, it's no good.

bumperlicious · 21/08/2007 09:06

Hey Lcy, how are you doing today? How do you feel? Have you eaten yourself into a sugar induced coma?

Original poster
Lcy · 21/08/2007 10:33

I have woken up today feeling so sad - sitting here crying as i type. It feels like it has hit me all over again - i think i spent the last couple of days building up to the D&C and now its over it feels like im meant to get on with things again but without the baby growing in me. Not helped by recieving my 12-week scan date (for a healthy baby) with prices for photos etc...

Luckily my midwife is coming over this afternoon - she is very positive and is going to discuss future pregnancy etc..

Physically i am fine and bleeding has nearly stopped.

P.S - hubbie is at a bit of a loss so walking around house with his tool box looking for jobs to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lcy · 21/08/2007 10:35

Hi Upside down - glad you are ok - hope i dont bring the thread down into a gloom of depression . Its red wine for me - i am drinking alot this week! I have also signed up to LoveFilms for a free month trial so me and hubby are getting through loads of cheesy films - none with pregnant women or babies in!

OP posts:
sfxmum · 21/08/2007 10:36

please allow yourself to mourn, it will take take but it is part of the natural process, don't rush just let it happen, be kind to yourself and find nice things to do
{{{hugs}}}

Original poster
Lcy · 21/08/2007 10:42

Thanks Sfxmum x

OP posts:
EllieG · 21/08/2007 10:52

Agree with sfxmum - one of the things that caught me off guard after my MC was how much I needed to grieve. You have experienced a great loss, of a future and person you thought you were going to have, and you need time to come to terms with it. All yours and your DH's feelings are natural and normal, so please take it as easy as you can on yourself and each other, and keep talking. If you need to cry, cry, it has to come out and you'll feel better for it. I am so sorry. I know you're probably feeling raw and lost and empty right now, but you will heal in time. And in the meantime, don't worry about sharing your hurt here, that's what it's for.

Original poster
Lcy · 21/08/2007 10:57

Hi Ellie - you have just summed up exactly how i feel. Can i ask when did you lose your baby - did you get pregnant again? Dont worry if you dont want to say x

OP posts:
whoops · 21/08/2007 11:11

Lcy - Like others have said give yourself time - I think this is something I didn't do properly and got my head straight back into work and I wish I hadn't now.
Put your feet up and eat junk!

EllieG · 21/08/2007 11:11

No I don't mind at all - I had a MMC in March - went to the 12 week scan and the baby had died at 8 weeks. Had a D&C the next day. I don't think I will ever forget how I felt at that time, and how much loss I felt for me, for the baby. People said stupid and unhelpful things like 'oh you didn't know it' but they didn't understand that I DID - I felt pregnant, I had made plans for my baby and I loved it fiercely though I had never seen it. I posted on MN just after my D&C and people were so wonderful, I'll never forget it. I met other people who were going through the same as me at that time, and was fab. www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1367&threadid=295294

Am PG again now, only 5+3 so very early days and am trying to not get as excited this time. I still miss my lost one, but I do feel much stronger and more whole, and I promise you will too in time, but don't push yourself, you need to grieve.
Am thinking of you xxx

Original poster
Lcy · 21/08/2007 11:18

Thanks Ellie - and congratulations on your pregnancy - fills me with hope - i bet it is a time of mixed emotions for you. Thanks for the link to the thread - i will have a look. Good to know others have felt like this and that im not going crazy or sinking into depression.

Thanks Whoops

OP posts:
EllieG · 21/08/2007 11:28

You're not crazy. Don't forget that you're still also choc-ful of hormones which are going to be sending you doolally, so try not to think too much!
I liked to think that when I finally did have a baby to hold in my arms, I would be the better Mum for what happened, as I would appreciate the LO all the more. You will have a child one day, and will make a great mummy.
I found this thread recently, and although made me howl, had some lovely sentiments that made me feel better, www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1367&threadid=96981&stamp=070810142633
Has some lovely poems about MC and trying again which although cheesy, expressed how I felt and still feel at times, they might help you too.

Original poster
Lcy · 21/08/2007 11:31

Thanks Ellie - just had a card through our door from a neighbour who had found out i was pregnant (dont know how) congratulating us on the pregnancy - its just so sad

OP posts:
sfxmum · 21/08/2007 11:31

being sad is not being depressed please don't fear grief, it is best to feel it then body and heart can carry on it is just not natural to 'bounce back' last time i took 2wks off because I needed it

I have had 3mc the last one was at 12wks in 2001 but I do have a 2yr old dd so it can happen.