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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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waiting to see if i miscarry - doctor told me anxiety will expel my baby from my womb!

367 replies

Lcy · 15/08/2007 14:27

Hi

I just need to vent. I am 10 weeks pregnant and had brown bleeding at 5-6 weeks so EPU scanned me and saw a heart beat - bleeding stopped and i felt all was ok.

Yesterday i had a big brown bleed again and incredibly sore lower back pain so went to EPU again this morning. They had a new doctor who asked me to tell him the symptoms. After talking for 10 minutes he asked me whether i could be pregnant!!! I WAS IN THE EARLY PREGNANCY UNIT !!!

He then told me that lower back pain is not a sign of miscarriage and that i should ignore it. He did an internal and i could see that the blood had changed to bright red and i started to get tearful. He told me not to get anxious because anxiety would expel the baby from my womb!

Anyway - he told me i am having another threatened miscarriage but i will just have to wait and see if i miscarry and that i cant have a scan and that i will have to wait 3 weeks for my dating scan because they are busy.

Just feeling really anxious - i am waiting for my midwife to phone me back. I know that they cant stop a miscarriage but i would like to know whether the baby is alive or not.

Vent over - Lucy

OP posts:
margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 19/08/2007 21:21

Lcy - Hope it goes okay tomorrow.

Lcy · 19/08/2007 21:24

Thanks everyone x

OP posts:
bumperlicious · 19/08/2007 22:24

Hi darl, if you are still reading this, it might be worth getting some arnica tablets to take after your procedure tomorrow, or get DH to get some. They'll speed up any healing that you need to do.

Thinking of you, good luck and don't worry, you'll be fine

Lcy · 19/08/2007 22:33

Thanks bumper - DH will txt you when we are home but it probably wont be till early evening
xx

OP posts:
TJuice · 19/08/2007 23:22

lcy, good luck tomorrow.

and thanks for all the support everyone - its been a real help.

pipsqueeke · 20/08/2007 08:19

lcy good luck for today, hope everything goes as it should at this stage will be thinking of you all.

how are you other girls getting on?

bumperlicious · 20/08/2007 08:35

Good luck lcy, you've just got to get through today then hopefully the worst will be over. thinking of you lots xxxxxx

kindersurprise · 20/08/2007 11:33

Good luck from me too Lcy. Hope everything goes well

And good luck and lots of > to everyone on this thread who has lost a baby.

Re insensitive comments, I think that lots of people just don't know what to say so they say the first thing that comes into their heads.

I woke up the morning after my D&C to find an auxilliary bringing my breakfast. She asked how the "new mummy" was this morning. The hospital I was in was so insensitive, they put patients having D&Cs in the gyne ward so that I kept running into heavily pregnant women.

Dolcezza · 20/08/2007 12:04

I send you all lots of warm well-wishing hugs, I thought I was alone, having feelings of bereavement when I went through my m/cs.. Lcy, hope all goes well for you today xx. Just know that there is nothing wrong with us, we are magnificent and wonderful women, full of love and compassion. If we were'nt, we wouldn't be on here looking for a connection with like-minded people, who seem to understand.

MerlinsBeard · 20/08/2007 12:07

thinking of you today Lcy. NOt read the thread thru but been thinking of you xx

MerlinsBeard · 20/08/2007 12:11

have just skimmed. Nothing will replace this LO Lcy. It will always have a special place in your heart. It helps to mark certain milestones. they differ from person to person, i marked my due date and will eventually get a small tattoo. a friend sent some flowers on the anniversary of me finding out i had lost it and it wasn't until then that i properly grieved.

please please lean on anyone that you need to, whether they are in RL or online.

TJuice · 20/08/2007 16:01

i went back to work today. wasn't too bad as it kept me busy but my mind did wander in meetings and i honestly couldn't give a stuff about advertising right now.

got a text from one of my best friends about the son she gave birth to yesterday. i am happy for her but will give myself a little time before i go visit.

tomorrow i am back to the docs and think i will start up the acupuncture again (wasn't for fertility but rebalancing and weight after coming off pill).

brave of you to go back to Bikram so quick, RW. I think I will give it a week before astanga. For some reason, I am dreading telling all the gym and yoga instructors who have been so supportive. I felt more comfortable telling people like that (or the woman at the health food shop) rather than many of my friends. But now I have to go through that one by one . . .

anyway, made a long list of stuff that i need to do and have been busy doing it and crossing stuff off which is helping.

Was flicking through a copy of a book called The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran that my old boss gave me (she was a total lentil-lover!)
and found these quotes:

On Pain

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

On Sorrow

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Not remotely a religious person but it kind of made sense, at the time.

TJuice · 20/08/2007 16:06

hope it went well, lcy and hope everyone else is doing good today.

melsy · 20/08/2007 16:21

Sending healing your way in all senses of the word, I hope it wasnt to emotionally painful . Just think your doing this to get ready to start again very soon x

Lcy · 20/08/2007 17:59

Hi everyone

I am back from hospital. Woke up this morning crying and did not stop until they put me under general anaesthetic. But i have to say the nurses and doctors were so understanding and all said how sorry they were for me losing the baby and held my hand as i went under etc.. After the nightmare at EPU it was fantastic care and so nice that they recognised our loss. We even had our own room. D&C was fine - bleeding a little now but all the agonising contraction like cramps have gone - and TMI it is nice to see red blood instead of yucky brown. Although i know things will still be up and down i feel so much better physically and emotionally.

Thanks again for all the support.

  • I hope everyone else is ok today
  • well done for going back to work TJuice
  • Thanks everyone for all their kind messages and for thinking of me

Lucy xx

OP posts:
sfxmum · 20/08/2007 18:01

lots of love to you {{{}}}

glad you had appropriate care. look after yourself and take it easy

Lcy · 20/08/2007 18:01

Thanks x

OP posts:
whoops · 20/08/2007 18:11

Lcy - I'm glad they looked after you well x
Have been thinking of you

Lcy · 20/08/2007 18:14

Thanks Whoops - i really appreciate all your support over the last few days x

OP posts:
whoops · 20/08/2007 18:23

That's ok Lucy, In a way it's helped me

pipsqueeke · 20/08/2007 18:25

has helped me as well lcy.

glad you were treated better today, and hopefully the worst is over, but you will still ahve the emotional rolercoaster - remember let everything out.

be good to yourself. (and get DH to buy you a nice big box of chocs to slouch on the sofa with)

Lcy · 20/08/2007 18:27

Thanks guys - i was thinking it is so difficult to think how to repay everyones kindness. So me and DH are going to make a donation to Save the Children Fund and hopefully in a few months i will be able to provide support for someone else that it happens to.

Really appreciate it x

OP posts:
Lcy · 20/08/2007 18:29

Oh and i am sitting on sofa with feet up eating Ben and Jerrys

OP posts:
Upsidedowncake · 20/08/2007 18:30

Hi Lcy

Been thinking of you. Glad it went well today and you can now move towards some closure.

I didn't make into work today and am still on 48-hourly hospital appointments so probably best. My boss and our welfare lady are being amazing, and we've agreed to call it stomach flu. (it's not totally fibbing, is it?)

xxx to you all

sfxmum · 20/08/2007 18:31

sounds goodthings will get better, it is an awful loss and it does touch lots of families take care