First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

@zoomies1 ask for some fertility testing because you’re concerned it’s not happened yet and it’s affecting your mental health. They can do a blood panel a few days into your cycle to check your hormone levels are stable and normal. They can do a day 21 progesterone test to check for ovulation (needs to be done later if cycles are irregular) DH can be tested too. If you’re 35 or over and been trying for 6 months they should be doing those tests. It’s something like two years if under 35 but pregnancy loss doesn’t count against you. I really hope you get some support. It will help immensely just to feel something is happening. Xx

Hope all ok @sadtoday21 xx

@zoomies1 My grandad was a doctor and my uncle is too, in fairness, they've both been fantastic, but they did say that they noticed standards slip over the years. A lot depends on the manager, NHS seems to be lacking good leaders.

Anyway, ladies, the tests arrived, I took one this afternoon and, as expected, it's a BFN. Gutted. Ate the whole pack of Doritos.

I'll wait for the AF and off we go again...

Sorry to hear that @MrsMGE. Is there any chance you aren't due for another 7 days and its just to early to test?

@zoomies1 A very slim one. You know when you just have a feeling it's not your month? I have a pretty strong one now.

@Catconfusion I know they seem to brush off our concerns until it becomes completely obvious there is an issue!

@sadtoday21 is all ok?

@MrsMGE rant away gal! Also don’t worry about the BFN, you don’t know when you ovulated so you’re still in the game!

Also @MrsMGE are we good twins? I’m also tucking into Doritos 😂

@MrsMGE sorry I meant food twins! Damn autocorrect

@Kiki061190 It's all about Tangy Doritos when you feel rubbish! 🙌 Food twins, and good twins, too! 😊 I must confess, I betrayed Doritos in my pregnancy, it was all about Hula Hoops!

I guess I am still in the game, although I am pretty sure more long-term, not this month. Annoying it's affected me so much, I didn't expect to all of a sudden become so desperate for a BFP.

@MrsMGE nobody tells you how hard TTC really is.... The negative tests, miscarriage and the tww! It’s all just made to seem so natural when actually it’s not the easiest thing on the planet!

@MrsMGE really sorry its a BFN, but don't give up hope just yet. I got two BFNs before a BFP at 14 dpo. I was also really heartbroken the months I didn't get it, ttc is really hard. My best advice is eat all the dorritos you want (I love the TANGY ranch ones!), treat yourself to a nice movie, and drink all the wine! Self care is the only want to deal with it. Thinking of you Xxx.

Thanks @zoomies1 @Catconfusion @MrsMGE @Kiki061190 I was also having a bad day, week really, just feeling more anxious than normal. But the scan was ok for now! I need to just stay calm and wait for the next two weeks until the 12 week one. Thanks everyone, you ladies are the best!

Glad everything is ok @sadtoday21 ♥️♥️

Ahhh @sadtoday21 that's wonderful! The positive news that was much needed today ❤️ xxx

I feel so stupid, in a grand scheme of things, we were only TTC for one cycle, and of course most of it was ruined because of everything that's happened and then my UTI. In normal circumstances I wouldn't worry at all, and I know I shouldn't. I can only imagine how hard it is to get BFNs for months after the MC, so disheartening. You need a lot of stamina to keep going, like @Kiki061190, no one tells you this before!

Great news @sadtoday21🙂 xx

So sorry to hear that @MrsMGE I hope it’s just too early! Xx

Hi ladies! How is everyone today?

I'm getting on the wine after work with my friend 🙌🍷 Much needed!

I've concluded that MC, TTC and pregnancy after the MC are full of conflicting emotions.

• sad that we've lost our babies, but hopeful to be pregnant again;
• grieving our babies, but trying to be happy in life and move forward;
• wanting to enjoy and plan our lives, but having to hold back, because of TTC and the 'what if I get pregnant' thoughts;
• scared of being pregnant again, but devastated when it's a BFN;
• happy to get a BFP, but worried if everything is going to be OK this time,

... and the list goes on. It's exhausting. Actually exhausting to be in it for months or years. Even trying not to think about all this is exhausting. Huge shout out to those of you who have been in it longer than me, it's costing me so much already, and I don't know where the energy will come from to keep going. I don't think I've ever felt so conflicted.

I'm trying to keep calm and relax, going back to acupuncture next week. I read a lot about how this situation is likely to create a high risk of PND following a successful pregnancy. To be honest, I'm a prime candidate for these and other reasons too, but I'm determined to stay strong and enjoy motherhood. I've decided to pick myself up from today. The funeral is next week and I'm going to focus on my health and positivity again xxx

@MrsMGE I’m good thanks. 5 plus 3 today. Not much to report apart from severe levels of tiredness. We were going to have a date night but I’m too tired.

Enjoy the wine with your friend and you’re right, the whole thing is a head f&*k. You’re doing so well to juggle so many thoughts and emotions. I hope next week goes well too. I could murder a wine right now. Have a lovely evening and have a sip for us! Xx

Hi @MrsMGE sounds like a good night planned, annoyingly I moved away to live with my DH so I long for a night in the pub with my oldest friend!

You are so right, it’s a real rollercoaster of emotions, I’ve been feeling so dark one minute then thinking I’m over it the next. It’s been a long bloody 6 months! You’re so strong to be dealing with the grief on top of this, I hope the funeral goes ok

Acupuncture sounds like a good idea, I looked into it a while ago but couldn’t find any recommendations.

@MrsMGE Get on that wine gal! I’m convincing OH to take me on a date night. Acupuncture sounds amazing! Have heard some great things about it ♥️ You’re doing amazing hun!

@Catconfusion how are you feeling?

I’m good @Kiki061990 thanks just really exhausted. I had a nap and didn’t feel remotely refreshed. We were going on a date night but the weather is bad and I just felt like snuggling up with Netflix. The nausea has died down and I’m getting a bit more anxious but trying to relax. We could probably book our scan for the end of next week but I’m worried at about 6 plus 3 we might not see a heartbeat. If I’m feeling less anxious next week I’m going to try and wait for 7 weeks. Just keen to know all ok at this point. How are you feeling? Xx

I had a sip (or ten) for you, girls! I'm a bit wobbly now ha! The evening was nice, eventually, although my friend has no idea re pregnancy and MC and said something that has really upset me at the beginning. She has then apologised, but I just don't think she gets it and most of the catch up was sadly, rather awkward. Not what I needed after a shit time. Hopefully our next catch up goes better, maybe I was also having a rubbish few days tbh. Anyway - wine was good, I did raise a toast in my head to all of you and to the little beans ❤️ xxx

aww @MrsMGE I'm sorry that she upset you and you didn't have as good a catch up as you would have liked. It's really hard for other people to understand when they haven't been through it. That's why I need you ladies! I'm glad you had some wine and distractions though and thank you for your very kind toast! Thinking of you and hoping you are doing ok with the funeral coming up soon. Always here if you need to talk Xxx.

@Catconfusion sorry you are feeling so tired, me too! I want to go to bed at 9 pm every night now. I would also try to wait for 7 weeks if I were you, just so you don't add unnecessary anxiety in case its too early for the hb. At least you know everything is in the right place now!

Hi girls how are you? @MrsMGE sorry to hear, I think a lot of people just say things without thinking! Hope you had a bit of fun at least :)

@Catconfusion so good to hear all is well and going well with you, just listen to your body like you do and rest when it tells you to!

@Kiki061190 so happy to hear about your great scan ❤️

So I'm currently on a plane flying back from our holiday, in Business! We got a cheeky upgrade for very cheap so I'm enjoying aaaall the champagne and wine 🤣 I know maybe a bit inconsiderate as I'm in the 2ww but last time I did everything right, are and drank right but still got a mmc so for now I'mi just enjoying myself! Im banking for a September baby instead hah!

@SunStruck after my BFN I'm seriously debating quitting this whole conscious TTC business, or postponing it till sat, October, so I can still squeeze in a cheeky holiday in April! I probably won't because I won't be able to wait that long, but literally, things I'd do for a week away in the sunshine...! Dream 😍 You enjoy your champagne and business class update, what a winner! 🥂🍾🙌 I have followed up with a few glasses of prosecco at home too!

I get what you mean @Catconfusion I have no symptoms to I’m wondering if all is ok but just trying to be relaxed. Time seems to be passing quite quickly and I know if I do get anxious I can have a scan anywhere from the end of next week which is reassuring. Waiting until 7 weeks may be better because if you go too early you may worry!

@MrsMGE glad you have some wine! Sorry about your friend, sometimes people don’t know what they are saying.

@MrsMGE haha good! Yes I don't think depriving ourselves would be the way forward, should try to be happy and relaxed when TTC!

And I had such a good holiday! I have a good feeling we will both catch before the end of the year ☺️ if not I'm booking a holiday stat for early next year haha!

Ahhh, you ladies are lovely as always ❤️

@Kiki061190 I'm going through another pack of Tangy Doritos, I can't stop 🤦🏼‍♀️ How are you today?

@Catconfusion How was your Netflix and chill session? Are you feeling a bit more energetic today? Early pregnancy is a great excuse for an afternoon nap 🙌 😊

@sadtoday21 Thank you, you're a sweetheart ❤️ How is your weekend going?

@SunStruck Ah I'm so glad you had a great time ❤️ A weekend to recover now after the holiday? Your idea is brilliant. I've been thinking about this, and, yes, I'll stay with you on the "BFP mission" till the end of the year and if nothing happens, I am totally booking the Greek Islands for April/May! Or New Zealand. Or both! YOLO! 😊 I've ordered like 50 different ovulation and pregnancy tests this afternoon, I am going for it next month 💪 When are you planning to test? Do you reckon it might be a BFP month this month?

@bananamonkey Re acupuncture, I found a guy who specialises in fertility acupuncture local to me, and seriously, it's helped me a) with grief and b) with getting my AF back (it's returned the same evening after my 3rd or 4th session). You are right, the recommendations aren't necessarily there because there isn't that much research into it yet, but there are papers suggesting it may improve pregnancy outcomes by up to a third, and it is now officially recommended by the NHS for pain management of cancer patients. I was very sceptical, but had nothing to lose, and I love its positive healing effect. I think it will prep me to deal with the upcoming week very well. My acupuncturist said he'll look after me till the end of the 1st trimester of the next pregnancy to minimise the anxiety, and I'm finding this really comforting. How are you doing now? Xxx