First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

@Catconfusion oh amazing news!!!! So happy and relieved for you xxxx make sure you celebrate lots this weekend - what an amazing first anniversary 🥰

@MrsMGE oh noooo 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ make sure you get a few good treatments! Anywhere you can check on TripAdvisor nearby to book? Hopefully he orders a bottle of good champagne, you deserve it!! 🙄

Hi ladies how are we doing?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @MrsMGE !!! Sorry one day delayed 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I've tried to not be on my phone so much this weekend because I can't trust myself with not googling hcg levels 🤣 did DH pull out an ace out of his sleeve in the end?!

Happy anniversary @Catconfusion, what are you up to for it? Must be such a relief having had a great scan before 🥰

So I went back for a hcg test today, it was 728 from 115 on Tuesday last week! So it's more than doubled every 48h, Dr seemed very happy with that. Wants me to come in for a scan on Tuesday to find the sac. I'm bricking it now! I was so sure it wouldn't be viable, and now it might be (but might also be taken away from me if they can't find the sac or if it's a blighted ovum... or or or... 🤦🏻‍♀️).

Yay @SunStruck I'm so pleased for you. There's nothing you can do. It will be what it will be. Overwhelmingly likely all will be ok this time. Just rest when you feel you need to and keep busy. Fingers crossed for the scan! Xx

Happy birthday @MrsMGE 🍾🥂. Hope you're having a lovely time! Xx

Heeey @SunStruck awesome news! I know you won't fully breathe out till the scan and then till the second trimester, but that's definitely a good sign and hopefully everything will be OK now 😘

@SunStruck @Catconfusion Thanks girls, I've had a lovely weekend, took a step back from all online activities, walked a lot, the spa was rather amazing! DH did end up buying me lovely perfume and a couple of other thoughtful gifts and we've had a fab relaxing time together. We also went for a proper date and got tipsy at a local pub, which took me back to years ago when we first started going out ❤️ Cute.

How is your weekend going, girls? Xxx

Happy birthday @MrsMGE! Glad you are having a fab time, I’ve also stepped back from online because it’s been making me anxious!

@SunStruck this is just wonderful news, so delighted for you. It seems like you are receiving fantastic care as well which is great to hear! I know the anxiety is hard but rest up and you’ll get to hopefully see something on the scan soon! ♥️

@MrsMGE thank you x oh weekend sounds fab!!! Love a little tipsy date night that reminds me of the early days 🥰 gifts sound lovely too! Are you back at work today?

@Catconfusion @Kiki061190 thanks girls ❤️ will just be a scan to check if the pregnancy is at the right place tomorrow, too early to see anything else. Maybe embryo next week 🤞it's the small hurdles!

@SunStruck Yes, back in today and not looking forward to it! I need two more days off ideally, to fully recharge. Fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow xxx

@Kiki061190 I've gone back on social media about a fortnight ago and all it's done is given me awful anxiety. Found out a number of people that I know are expecting again, another healthy pregnancy, one with twins and due around my due date. I am definitely staying away from it, I didn't need to know this and it doesn't help me at all, so I'm planning to remove myself again shortly xxx

@MrsMGE hope you had an ok day back yesterday! I also feel like I need a break, so tired all the time 😴

How are you all getting on? Xx

Hi @SunStruck. I know, it's very quiet here! I'm back in work, it's all pretty boring this week and I'm struggling to get back into the swing of things tbh. Off to the gym tonight, and planning to try out some recipes from Deliciously Ella this weekend. Is this sad that I'm excited about this 😂

How are you? Is your scan today? Xxx

Yes just had my scan! So good news is that the sac is in the right place so definitely not ectopic. Worse news is that it's measuring a week behind, only 4 weeks 2 days when it should be more than 5 weeks. I was almost expecting this as hcg rise started out super slow, and I also had faint pregnancy tests until later on.

Really hoping the bean will catch up and stick 🤞 Dr said hcg level really shot up later on which is positive, so I'm hoping bean is just late to the party! 😅 Realistically it can go either way, just need to wait (and I'm very impatient if you haven't noticed by now and hate not being in control... 🙄😬).

Next scan is next Thursday!

@SunStruck I really hope everything works out! It’s so hard to date things when the pregnancy is so early! I went for a scan at around 7 weeks and they dated it around 6ish and then 3 weeks later at 9+2 and then 2 weeks after that at 11+6! Fingers crossed the next few weeks will bring clarity. I really hope this is it for you. Your attitude is absolutely amazing and you are so strong!

@MrsMGE I love the deliciously Ella balls! So wyummy! Glad you had a good weekend and DH got the hint about perfume. How have you been? What cycle day are you on now?

Fatigue, sore heads and dizziness has the best of me just now ladies. I have switched into complete nesting mode once I’m home from work every night. I get to go back and see little bean the 21st and hopefully get my official due date. Just so nervous in case I get there and it’s bad news! Hoping the anxiety might ease if the next scan goes well ♥️

@SunStruck Blimey, this isn't an easy ride for you, is it. Another few days of uncertainty, but it's so early that the measurements may well be a bit off, if it's up to one week, it may be totally fine. I know it probably doesn't help you much though, I'd be climbing the walls if I was in your shoes. But really, really hoping for good news, everything is going in the right direction ❤️❤️❤️ How are you feeling? Xxx

@Kiki061190 Yes, the balls! Exactly what I'm thinking about. Which ones have you tried so far?

I'm on CD11 and tbh I'm not paying attention to it now, to the point I had to check FF just now to give you the answer! I feel much better because, shockingly, I actually don't care. I'm sort of temping, but I'm so bad at it that I don't think it will give me any confirmation 😂 I do check every morning, but at slightly different times cause I'm forgetful. We haven't dtd for a few weeks and I'm actually enjoying this, I was very busy and needed some sleep and not obsessing about making babies.

Selfish thought alert, I am actually debating whether to postpone TTC for a few months, just to bounce back financially a bit after the renovation. I want to buy a second car and also, I actually fancy going on holiday next year, which we've already booked few weeks ago. I don't think this is more important than having a baby. But I do think we've been through an awful year and it might do us good to just switch off and live a normal life for a bit, instead of staying in this "I got to get pg ASAP" zone. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, have few more days to think about it. I suspect we'll just end up having sex whenever we want to and just getting on with our lives tbh. I've had enough of stress.

Sorry to hear you're anxious, Kiki. What is making you feel anxious most? Or is there a particular person who said something triggering? Xxx

Thanks ladies, I'm actually quite chilled. For now, I'm pregnant. Let's see what the scan looks like next week!

@Kiki061190 thanks for your story, we're you sure about your day of ovulation or could it have been later? I'm sure about my dates as I had scans to see exactly when I ovulated. So let's hope it was a bit late to implant ha-ha! We did only have sex once on the day of ovulation so 🤞

I'm so sorry to hear you're anxious. It's a unfair we're feeling this way! You've made the golden milestone, you will be fine and the baby is fine! ❤️

@MrsMGE oooh tell me about these elusive balls?! What are they?

I'm so glad to hear you're in a better headspace! Yeah you have time to think, and there's no rush. And it doesn't get easier even when you get pregnant 🤣 constant worry. Holiday sounds lovely, I have nothing booked! I'm hoping this works out so trying to save my hols, but let's see. Where were you going again? I know you said you booked a few!

@SunStruck Sister... you've been missing out, honestly! The DE balls are sooo tasty! Have a look on the website, there's all sorts of different flavours! I can't decide between raspberry & peanut butter and almond & blueberry ones! @Kiki061190 any suggestions? Xxx

We've booked Cornwall and Greece for next year so far, but I've now had a number of other ideas coming to my head, weekend trips together with one of my best friends. I've concluded I'm enjoying living my normal life and not sure how I feel about TTC at the moment xxx

@MrsMGE The almond and cocao ones are my fav but I love raspberry too! I think you have an amazing attitude about ttc! Why don’t you just forget tracking for a couple to months and just see what happens. It’s amazing what the body will do when it’s relaxed. I also found the temping too hard to keep doing consistently. You know I think it’s just that my first scan was a bit anti climatic in that I couldn’t get a due date and the lady who scanned me was lovely but she was a trainee and she couldn’t even find my ovaries. The ladies from the EPAU had no issue with finding them at all. I’m just worried because I have to go back for a due date and the measurements for downs but I’m passed the point of being able to get the more accurate downs test I wanted. I didn’t think much of it but now I’m like what if something is wrong? What if they could see something? It’s just playing in my head. I’m finding staying busy effective. I did however spend last night being sick! I haven’t been sick in 5 days as well, I thought I was past the sickness point but no!

@SunStruck To be honest I tracked nothing the month I conceived so I have no idea what day i ovulated. I know in the early weeks tho babies can take a bit of time to catch up so I really hope that is the case for you!

@Kiki061190 Yeah, I know what you mean. Even though you're young, fit and with all positive symptoms, there is that annoying what if that gives you anxiety. It's overwhelmingly likely everything is OK, but I understand where you're coming from. There's been a lot of stress and anxiety already with your earlier pregnancy & MC and also quite a bit with this one, so it's only natural you're concerned. I might come across rude, but I haven't got much faith in trainee medical professionals. I'm also in a professional field as you know, and with all due respect, I'd never fully rely on the advice from my trainees, I always review everything myself. That doesn't always happen within the NHS though. So I personally would be naturally inclined to just go and have a private test for a peace of mind you know. In fact, as you know, that was my plan anyway because the NHS tests in any event are less accurate and I just think I'd always end up having this "what if" thought. If it doesn't let you live in peace, just get it done. Mental and emotional peace are things you can't put financial price on (although I'm skint now and I know you're having your driveway done, so I know it's not easy!). Xxx

Also, my attitude to TTC is non-existent atm, I'm finding this most odd considering I was on an emotional roller-coaster last cycle. I just can't be bothered with more stress, think I've reached my peak last month and have had enough of this malarkey! Not sure if this is such a good thing at my and DHs age, but here we are. Xxx

@Kiki061190 I should also add, and sorry if it's too brutally honest or upsetting, but I personally would choose to terminate for medical reasons. I know this is something we all feel differently about, and that's absolutely understandable. It probably isn't the most politically correct thing to say in view of the fact we all lost our babies before and perhaps we should be happy regardless. But my personal view is that I'd do anything I can for my child not to suffer or struggle in their life, and I am 99% sure this would be my decision. So because of that, I think I'd personally rather know. Xxx

@MrsMGE I understand everyone needs to start somewhere but I wish she had someone in with her who could have assisted in measuring the baby. I spoke to a few people at work and everyone was amazed I even wanted the Down’s syndrome tests. I didn’t realise that a lot of people choose not to have them! I spoke to OH about the other tests but realistically they are too expensive for us to pay out just now. We’ll get the quad test and see what happens from there. I have all faith that baby is ok!

@Kiki061190 It's interesting, isn't it. Some people are just glass half full I guess, with everything. My DH is, but I've just never been one of them!

@Kiki061190 I'm so sorry you have anxiety around the scan. I'm sure she must have been at a certain level of competence to be scanning you and must know the tell tale signs of any issues. I appreciate it's made you worry though. The Nuchal measurement is really hard to get as it's such a tiny measurement. We were in there for ages to get ours. I'm sure the quad test will be accurate enough for someone of your age and as you say a lot of people don't get screening. It's highly unlikely anything is wrong! Xx

Well I have to say I've been a bit absent from MN as I got a bit worried about my combined test results. I'm pleased to say odds of downs were 1 in 28,681 and odds of the other two syndromes 1 in 100,000. I'm literally crying with happiness and very relieved.

@SunStruck I really hope you're hanging in there before the scan. I've got everything crossed baby has caught up! Xx

@Kiki061190 I also have faith that your baby will be just fine!! ❤️

@Catconfusion oh that is such a relief!!! Hopefully you can really relax now 😄 and that you gradually feel less ill.

@MrsMGE holidays sound lush! Don't force yourself to TTC if you don't feel like it. Maybe just dtd when you feel like it and see what happens!

Ooh I need to try those balls 😍 I'll have a look.

I didn't dare to say it either but I'd also TFMR if something was wrong with my baby, I will definitely have the Harmony test at 10 weeks! I almost feel like I'm the only one on these boards thinking this way, and it's not very PC.

@SunStruck It's a sensitive subject I guess. It's everyone's personal decision in my view, no one can be exactly in someone else's shoes. The reality is, if you go ahead, you have the responsibility for your child, and whether you can do it depends on the network of support you have, your job, finances, emotional state, your partner's views and situation, the list is endless. I personally wouldn't bear to watch my child suffering, struggling and then be left alone when we're gone because we don't have family around who might be able to step in. I'd never, ever allow a situation whereby my child is looked after by care workers or social services, even in adulthood (if they were to live till adulthood), as I have no trust in adequacy of such care. This view hasn't changed following my MC and I respect some might disagree with it. Equally, I think our shared view to be respected as well. I'm completely with you on this one. Xxx

@SunStruck don't worry you're not alone, I feel similarly. That's why so much was riding on the my results. I completely agree @MrsMGE that there are so many factors leading to a decision like that. In my case at 40 a downs baby would probably mean me not working again and not being able to have any more children if baby had an extreme need. Also the pain and suffering would be torturous to watch. I was a teacher and have taught quite a few children with downs over the years and it was heartbreaking. I've seen children going in and out of hospital and living with extreme learning and social difficulties. I know some have healthy happy lives but it's not something I believe to be common. Of course it is an individual choice and I completely understand why some people don't do the screening or continue pregnancy with high risk results.

What I will say about the screening process now I've been through it is the Nuchal fold test is a great indicator of any issues. Apparently 70% of babies with Downs are picked up by the scan alone. Combined with the bloods it's 90%. The NIPT obviously gives 99% accuracy and allows earlier detection so well worth the money if possible. Saying that I have a lot more faith in the nhs testing now I've been through the system. I'm just so relieved! Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion. Again, it's very reassuring to know that we can talk openly on this thread and no one is going to judge one another. I suspect people who have never lost a baby might judge us for thinking this way, but frankly, I couldn't care less. And I'm not ashamed of it, either. We've been through something horrible and I've concluded I'm not taking any nonsense from people ever again, I'll just go my own way.

I used to volunteer working with children with disabilities and my close friend's brother has DS (undetected in pregnancy). I have nothing but respect for the parents in this position, and these children clearly are very much loved and cherished. But no one talks about the extreme price that those families pay every day, including the siblings. No one talks about the arrangements for the future. People are often left to their own devices and expected to "deal with it", and the social system is not geared up for this either. It's not exactly going to become better when the funds are simply not there. Xxx