First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

Thanks @Kiki061190 ❤️ That's really lovely. I have a keepsake box with my scans, a little bear and some quotes and photos from when I was expecting.

I have separated the two things mentally, which I think is important going forward - a happy memory of my baby and being pregnant, and an entirely separate stressful event (MC).

I definitely want to remember my baby and celebrate the fact that I was carrying it. I want to treasure it, remember it and talk about it, including to my future children. That's why to me, BLAW is a great opportunity for this, as it makes my pregnancy "tangible".

Separation of these two events is also helpful going forward, as like I've said many times before, I want to be happy to be pregnant again and just focus on that. MCs do not always happen in pregnancy, it's a completely separate and far less common event and I don't want the distress of thinking about the two events together to disturb my inner peace on a daily basis. Xxx

@SunStruck I'm 10DPO today, still no AF, still having major hot feelings all the time (not even flushes, I'm just boiling hot most of the time), no AF symptoms. It's a BFN this morning. Whatever happens though, my LP is 10 days this cycle, which is brilliant news, so I'm happy. Xxx

@MrsMGE that is great news! I thought the same last cycle (my AF came on day 10). Because prior to this (before the miscarriage) it was 7-9 days. So there's definitely a positive 😄

I still have my scan pictures but haven't been able to look at them again, I'll save them and see what I'll do with them later on. It's great you're in a great mindset to separate the two. It's a difficult task!

Work in progress, @SunStruck, but I personally find this approach the most peaceful and that's what's needed after tough times. It allows me to cherish the good times, accept the difficult ones and move forward, with some positivity. Xxx

Thanks @SunStruck I really appreciate it. I felt very low earlier. I got some sleep which has helped. I don't think people realise how debilitating hyperemesis is. It doesn't matter how much gratitude there is for being pregnant it's really hard being this ill. I have a very sore tummy still but hopefully that will ease as the new drug gets in my system. My GP thinks I have UTI as well so I'm waiting for lab results. If I have that could be making me feel worse. I just hope I don't need to take antibiotics.

Yes it's our first anniversary. I can't believe a year has passed. So much grief and sadness but so much happiness too. It's certainly been a trying time but DH has been amazing throughout. Xx

@Catconfusion we also just had our first anniversary so I know the feeling :)

So blood test came back, and the value was 67 (hcg level) which dr said was a bit on the low side, so she wants me to come in on Tuesday again for another test 😔😔 I'm googling like mad and it says anything from 5-400 something is normal for 4 weeks! This is a massive range and now I'm just really worried. I also read that it doesn't matter about how high the hcg level is, what matters is whether it doubles or not.

But because she's said this is on the low side I'm obviously thinking the worst 😥

@SunStruck I'm sorry to hear you are worried. I would say since you got a surprise bfp later it sounds like implantation was late, therefore you may be at a lower starting point. Like you say as long as it doubles it's fine. I really hope the next one shows this. Fingers crossed for you! Try not to worry for now.

It's lovely to get through the first year of marriage and feel so much happiness. Hopefully year two will be full of only happy events. Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion , I'm gonna step away from google and try to relax :) my Dr emailed me not to worry as I'm on progesterone (they gave me more pessaries) and baby aspirin. And I guess all women are different, the range is huge!

What are you doing for your first anniversary? 🥰

@MrsMGE love the positivity! ❤️ I'm telling your AF to steer way clear! 🤣

@SunStruck It’s so hard but stay positive! Google is the devil 👿

@MrsMGE Any sign of AF?

@Kiki061190 @SunStruck Nope, nothing! Xxx

Still nothing! I had a moment this morning when I thought I saw the second line, but I think I'm just imagining things now 🤣 It's all very strange, it's CD 37, longer than any of my normal cycles which don't go past 37 days. In all these years of menstruating, I can only remember maybe 4 or 5 "off" cycles that were as long or longer, most of them few years ago when I was travelling a lot, moving countries etc., and only once recently (37 days directly after the MMC). The next cycle after the MMC was 35 days. So that's unusual. No AF symptoms, hair and skin looking great, and feeling sick this morning.

Hashtag confused! (but, surprisingly, still very calm about all this!)

How is everyone doing? Xxx

@MrsMGE great you've not had anything happen. Hopefully it's late implantation. Absolutely possible you'll get a positive in the next couple of days. Fingers crossed for you.

I'm actually feeling a bit more human today. I got some sleep which has helped. I'm getting a bit nervous about the scan next week. Did some reading on the combined tests and I'm worried I'll come back high risk due to my age. Apparently false positives are more common with older people. Also those who are sick are more likely to get a high risk result. It's something to do with hormone levels. Anyway now I've done my research I'm just going to put it out of my mind. It will be what it will be. Xx

How are you feeling today @Kiki061190 ?

Thanks @Catconfusion. I guess since I'm only 11DPO that's still perfectly normal to get a BFN. In any event, even if AF comes now, I'm delighted to have a longer LP than expected, that's such a relief.

Glad you're feeling better now. Are you thinking about Harmony or NIFTY tests at 12w or are you thinking ahead about the NHS one (is it NT?) I think I've made up my mind that I'll be going with NIFTY in my next pg, if I get to 12w. They give you a very clear picture, especially NIFTY is over 99% accurate. I am finding this a lot more reassuring than the NHS test which only indicates the risks and I know any increased risk would drive me insane, whereas an accurate result from the DNA test will give me a very clear picture, which I'd rather have as early as possible. Xxx

@Catconfusion so good to hear you're getting more sleep! Yes I think I'll avoid the NT scan or what it's called due to age, I'm getting a Harmony test instead. If I make it to 10 weeks that is 🙄

@MrsMGE yay for no AF and 11 day LP! 🙌🙌 I second @Catconfusion , hope it's late implantation (which mine was).

I bought 4 pregnancy tests yesterday because I'm going back for the second blood test on Tuesday which is ages away, and since they said my hcg level was on the lower side I'm obviously so worried. I did a test this morning (Clearblue, same test as yesterday) and it's not darker than the day before 🤦🏻‍♀️ it's definitely a blue line, but quite faint. Why am I doing this to myself, in my mind I am having a chemical pregnancy already or a blighted ovum... I'm now either 14 or 15 DPO, surely the line should be really strong?! My FRER at 12 DPO was strong (not as strong as the control line but still).

I know FRER Is more sensitive, but since hcg should double every 48h I'm just not sure about the faint line.

I KNOW nothing good comes out of worrying but I think in my mind I'm waiting to miscarry, and already planning for when we can next TTC 🙄 I also don't feel sick anymore either. I don't know if I should test tomorrow to check line or just skip it. I regret going for the blood test, last time I just tested twice and knew I was pregnant, was happy with that and went for a scan at 6 weeks. Maybe my hcg was low then too but at least I didn't know about it 🤦🏻‍♀️

ANYWAY I'm going to meet our friends at a brunch today and I'm going to try forget about all of this for a while!

Sorry for dragging the thread down guys! Anxiety levels through the roof.

On a happier note, have an amazing anniversary this weekend @Catconfusion 🥰🥰

@Kiki061190 thank you! 🤗 big week tomorrow for you and @Catconfusion - can't wait to hear positive news! ❤️

I really hope you get good news in the next couple of days @MrsMGE

We've decided to go with the combined nhs test in the first instance. If it indicates a high risk we'll go for the harmony test. The nhs will subsidise some of the cost of the harmony if the combined is high risk. We feel it's worth taking this route rather than spending money we might not need to spend. A friend of mine had a baby at 44 and her risk was 1: 10000 so age doesn't always give a high risk result but in some cases it does.

They can also tell a lot from the dating ultrasound so if that's clear our chances are good. Our last scan showed a healthy baby at nearly 11 weeks so I'd be a bit more worried if we hadn't had a recent scan.

We've talked about what if we get a high risk result and I think it's important not to panic. I have a couple of friends who had high risk and it was fine. My best friend got a 1:18 for downs and she found out from the harmony her son is perfectly healthy.

I will definitely be relieved in a couple of weeks when we know all is well. Xx

@MrsMGE You are right about it being great you LP is longer this month. Hopefully AF stays away for you!

@SunStruck Nooooo! Please don’t torture yourself. I know it’s hard and we’ve all done it but honestly I never got a darker line. Don’t worry!

@Catconfusion I’m feeling good today after 2 days of feeling awful. It’s funny how it comes in waves. I’m nervous now for the scan. I just want to know if all is ok! 6 days to go....

Also @MrsMGE I’m just going to go with the NHS and much like @Catconfusion I’ll have further tests if anything flags up. I had my bloods done at my booking app 9 days ago and they said if I hadn’t heard anything by Monday then there was nothing that flagged up. Does anyone even know what they test the blood for at a booking app apart from HIV?

I'd rather get the NIFTY done sooner, as far as I understand (although might be wrong), the NHS tests are further along in the pregnancy, and I personally would rather avoid finding out that there is an issue at a later stage. It is unlikely though, and I get it's a difficult consideration for all of us.

@SunStruck I honestly would stop googling now, you're driving yourself nuts through reading stuff online (I was guilty of that before too), whereas the facts are, you're pregnant, you're within the HCG bracket, and the lines are meaningless. You'll know full well that the lines can stay strong even after the baby has died, it honestly does not mean a thing. Take a breath and try to calm yourself a bit, everything is OK. Xxx

@Kiki061190 the bloods at the midwife are for HIV, Hepatitis and they check your iron levels so nothing baby related. I'm feeling similarly that I just want it done now. So glad you're feeling better. I've felt a bit better too today. Still a bit fragile but not nearly as bad as I've been.

@MrsMGE The combined test will be done at the 12 week scan so only a couple of weeks later than the NIPT. If we had the money we would have gone for it but it's only a two week wait and chances are it won't be needed. Apparently only 5% get a high risk result and of those only 1% have a problem so it's still quite unlikely. My midwife said even at 40 my chances are good so I'm trying not to worry about it. We have a plan at least should it be high risk. The NIPT can be done straight away if need be.

@SunStruck I know it's really hard but try not to worry if the lines are not darker. It can take a couple of days to see a difference. I was convinced too there was something wrong and it was all fine. Have a lovely lunch with your friends and do anything you can to take your mind off it.

@Catconfusion How long do you need to wait for the results of the combined test? And isn't its accuracy significantly lower anyway?

@Catconfusion I’m glad I haven’t heard anything. I’m just constantly tired at the moment and heading to bed as soon as I get home. Currently counting down the minutes until I finish today. Glad you are feeling better ♥️ Another person has just announced they are pregnant and I’m really hoping that’ll be me soon!

@MrsMGE you are notified within three working days if you're high risk. The combined is slightly less accurate but I think it will give us a good idea if we need further testing. None of the tests are 100% apart from an amnio which I wouldn't have. If we have any concerns from the results we'll book in for a NIPT straight away.

@Kiki061190 I really don't think I could get through a day of work so you're doing really well. I know what you mean, we can't wait to tell everyone. It feels so close yet so far. Just imagine the relief of getting through that scan and knowing everything is ok! Problem is it's then the countdown to the 20 week one. It's just never ending. I think it's easier when people know, especially with the sickness.

@Catconfusion Thank you for this. I somehow thought the NHS tests take place at around 14-16weeks. If that's the case then I might do exactly the same as you. I'll think about it again at the time and see how I feel, but it does sound very sensible. Glad you're feeling better today 😊 xxx

@MrsMGE I’m getting the NHS test next Thursday at my scan. They ask at the booking app what tests you would like.

@Catconfusion I don’t know how people stay calm until the 12 week scan. I can’t believe we are this far along now!

Also @Catconfusion it is so hard on the days i feel awful at work! But they are understanding and that’s been super helpful!