First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

[Kiki061190]

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

@zoomies1 I've just had the most awkward evening in a while, went to a networking event, bumped into a bitchy colleague there (didn't even know she was going, she's not in my team) and then had to stand there and smile whilst she was having a 30 minute conversation with a pregnant lady due in Feb (i.e. a month after me, and she's fine and showing) and then would not shut up about her little boy (she's a year or two younger than me). She doesn't know what happened to me, but I suspect she wouldn't care anyway. God, I hate that smug bitch! Sorry, had to get it off my chest 🤣 In my usual way, I kill her with kindness every time I see her, which is pretty satisfying 🙌 This evening has made me think of you. Hang in there lovely xxx

@Kiki061190 How are you doing? Been very quiet there ❤️ xxx

@Catconfusion Thank you - I'll test when AF is due or just before and go to my appointment the following morning, as and when I get a positive test that is. That way even if I need to wait a couple of days for my medication or to see someone privately, hopefully this should all be sorted within a week and very early on in my pg. I got to between 6-7 weeks last time before the baby stopped developing and I actually had my first scan 2 days before that and everything was in order. If there was a dip in progesterone it must have happened around that time. Hopefully next time it won't happen at all, or at least it won't happen any earlier. How is your hyperemesis? Are you eating at all? How are you coping? Xx

@zoomies1 so you're over 35 too? And you've tried for one year? Definitely try get some help, and if you can afford it - Private. I highly doubt anything is wrong with you, but some tests to put the mind to rest is great (for instance if you're low on some hormones or similar, that is such an easy fix). 🤗

@Catconfusion I'm in your shoes! Me and my DH just got married in September last year so couldn't have started to try sooner. It was (and is) more important for me to find the right man to have a baby with rather than just have a baby if you know what I mean! And that too slightly longer than for some of the younger ladies. I'm not regretting not starting earlier, what I do regret though is to not having come off the pill sooner - I came off in October last year and my periods didn't go back to normal until Jan/Feb!

How's the sickness, is it getting any better? ❤️

@MrsMGE Hey sister! 🥰👯‍♀️ I like our game plan (aiming for end of the year in the first instance), we've both just gone back to fairly normal after the mc so I am feeling positive for both of us! We need to keep reminding ourselves that we caught quickly last time, so really, I highly doubt there's something wrong with us. Let's stay positive 🥳 you're 2 DPO? Any symptoms yet? 🤣 last time around I felt the implantation, around 7-8 DPO I was super crampy (felt different from period cramps, it was more of a dull ache, and I felt like there was a weight pushing on my stomach. I also had a massive temp dip then just to shoot up the day after (I know you're not temping). After the 2 days of cramping I felt absolutely nothing! Last month when my period came, I felt nothing until the day before the period where I had period cramps. Morning of period my temp dropped massively. So let's see what will happen this time, I think I'm fairly in tune with my body 🤞 Did you feel anything last time during TWW (when you got pregnant)?

@bettymoo212 oh 😔😔 I think we've all felt like that, that it won't happen again for us. When you feel like that, just look at this thread - soooo many BFP:s since the mc for these ladies! It WILL happen again, my Dr said that having being pregnant once it shows that everything works down there and inside, your tubes work, OH sperm works, you ovulate, your lining held a baby... it was just bad luck, and it will happen again!

@Kiki061190 how are you feeling? Xxx

Hey @SunStruck it does sound similar. That’s why it winds me up when articles talk about women leaving it too late because of their careers. I’d have had babies much earlier if I’d met the right person earlier. DH is perfect and it feels so right! Luckily I hadn’t been on the pill for a while but I agree it does mess with your cycles. I wouldn’t go on it again. You weren’t to know though as doctors always make out your fertility instantly comes back.

Sickness is significantly better thanks. The GP prescribed high dose antacids which seem to be helping. I’m still gagging as if I need to be sick but without the acid I’m keeping it down. Fingered crossed I’m over the worst now! Xx

I’m so sorry @MrsMGE you had a good scan before the loss. I can imagine that was heartbreaking. I think your plan is a good one. I saw my doctor yesterday and she’s recommended carrying on with the progesterone until 15 weeks so we can be sure the placenta has built up enough. She’s still not convinced I have low progesterone. Often there’s spotting when pregnant if that’s the case. I didn’t have any. It’s really worth making sure with the pessaries though.

Sickness is a little better today thanks. The new tablets seem much better so far. I’ve not been sick in the night so hopefully it’s improving! Xx

@SunStruck If that helps, I came off the pill 2.5 years ago after I've concluded it was making me feel anxious/depressed and I knew we'd be trying for a baby at some point in the future, so I wanted to cleanse my body well in advance. That didn't make any difference whatsoever in terms of cycles, outcome of my pregnancy etc.! So it's not a given that had you come off earlier it would have made things any easier or better. I have also been with DH for 7 years now and tbh some women would have started TTC sooner than me, but whenever I think about it, I conclude this wasn't the right time for me. I wanted to have a built up position in work, financial security (more or less, it's never really enough when it comes to children! ) and a renovated house, ready for the new arrival before I get completely skint. I look at it now and feel I've done well to have all that at 32, still in the "prime time" to have a baby. I've worked my socks off. Then I got pregnant exactly when I hoped it would happen, and I've miscarried. I do sometimes think that maybe I was too arrogant and thinking everything would be OK with the pregnancy because everything else in my life has fallen into place. I don't know. But this year has certainly taught me not to be, if that's the case.

I actually don't know when exactly I have O'd this cycle, it says 12-36 (or even 48) hrs after the first positive OPK, meaning theoretically it could be as late as this morning. I felt crampy/stretchy then dull ache last night, definitely my left ovary, so I'm wondering if it happened then. No idea re implantation though, I've had no idea I was pregnant last time until I took the test the day after my AF was due and it was a glaring BFP which I didn't expect at all! I'm not testing for another 12 days, unless I get any symptoms or my mind goes crazy earlier 🤣 Are you definitely testing on Sunday?

Girls, I've tested again this am and Femometer shows high LH (but only LH20, in comparison with peak of 143 which I had on Sunday early PM, and I was on 77 yesterday morning and 90 yesterday evening, so it's certainly gone down), Clearblue Advanced Digital shows an empty circle now. Does this mean I'm definitely past O and don't have to dtd tonight? My LH was definitely on the rise on Sunday morning before it peaked later on Sunday, so it is 48 hrs now. Any OPK specialists who could help me out? Xxx

Hey @MrsMGE I’m no expert but I’d assume you’ve o’ed. No harm in getting one more in if you feel you can. This is where temping would be helpful as you’d see a rise the day after. Even then though it can be confusing as it can rise over a few days. Tracking really is a pain. Hopefully now you can get some rest and distract yourself until you can test. Xx

@MrsMGE definitely O:d! If clearblue goes to low fertility you have.

Yep I was also arrogant and very naive 😅 me and DH are healthy, weight wise as well as eating wise, didn't see it coming at all as it also caught so quickly. Thought I was super fertile and that we got this haha!

I think I'll test on Sunday if I don't get AF before this because it's our anniversary and we're going out for a fancy meal, so would like to have some wine/cocktails if I'm not! It's an amazing Italian restaurant and they do these amaaaazing limoncello spritzers with Prosecco (they import all the lemons from Italy and make it in-house). I'll show you a picture if I have it then 🤤 you're half Italian right?

My LP was 10 days last month, and Sunday will be exactly 10 days DPO, so something should come up (or not, and then it would be definitely out).

Oh wow @SunStruck the cocktails sound awesome. I hope you get good news on a Sunday.

I can totally relate to feeling quite cocky with the first pregnancy. We were on honeymoon when it happened and weren’t even really trying. With my crazy long cycles I was shocked. It’s just so sad that we did everything right and still lost the pregnancy. Some people are really irresponsible and it’s all fine. It just feels like total luck of the draw! Xx

@Catconfusion hiya. Glad you are on the good meds!

Unfortunately the rash is contagious. That's part of the reason I haven't pushed him on the test. He is working really long hours and is feeling very uncomfortable. And like a lot of people, the more you ask him to do something, the longer it will take him to do it. It drives me crazy.....

@SunStruck yep - got pregnant just after I turned 37, I have now just turned 38 so am making my one year appointment for in about six weeks time. The guidance says that you should go back sooner if you are over 36 but they refused to do anything to help so I am considering going private. I am going to try and get my period issues covered under my work BUPA as a gyne issue as they don't cover fertility.
I was cocky first time around as well. Serves me right really.

@zoomies1 I think I spoke too soon. I’ve not been well at all this afternoon. It’s so frustrating!

Your poor partner. He must be really uncomfortable. I hope it clears up too. I also think it’s awful your go didn’t help you more. Hopefully Bupa will give you some answers regarding your periods. Xx

@Catconfusion - I really feel for you. The sickness is awful. Hope you feel better soon. Urgh - even the memory of trying to get through work acting as normal when you want to be sick in the nearest dustbin....and yet I',m kind of looking forward to it

Arh thank you @zoomies1 I think it’s particularly hard after loss because I can’t exactly keep busy between scans so lots of time for anxiety to build up.

I know what you mean about looking forward to feeling pregnant. I think I had to some extent forgot how brutal the sickness is but we are really hopeful and happy we have have this opportunity. Fingers crossed this is it! Xx

@Catconfusion oh your sickness sound terrible 😢 hopefully you're at the back end of it now!

@Catconfusion and @zoomies1 It's quite sad that this happened not only because of that event, but also because it sort of ruins the next pregnancy right? I see my friends who got pregnant on honeymoon (first pregnancy) and didn't go for a scan until the 12 week scan, and everything is healthy and looks great. She's currently at the 5 month mark, I would have been further along than her. They make it look so breezy and I'm jealous that I don't think my next pregnancy will be like that, I'll be constantly worried and expecting the worst! I will want to go underground when I get pregnant the next time and not come out the woodworks until I'm 20 weeks pregnant and all is fine 😅 I know that's not realistic obviously, but I think I'll just pretend I'm not pregnant for as long as I can. Last time I did get attached, was touching my belly (even though I didn't have one at 9 weeks) and talking to the baby!

@MrsMGE Hey sista how are you getting on?! I've been so busy at work these few weeks, this week I've been in very early and leaving late everyday 🤦🏻‍♀️ you hear about stress not being good for conception but that's inevitable. Another thing to stress about - stress about being stressed 😅 at least I'm keeping up my gym appointments and PT as it really helps me de-stress and sleep better at night.

So this weekend and for a week we have guests coming to visit (family and her partner). She's pregnant (just announced 12 weeks), and she knows we're also trying, so we're both not drinking (which is a big thing in our family and extended family 🙄 at least I don't have to try hide it). So at least it will be nice and chilled. Going for a brunch on Friday and to a chilled beach club on Saturday. Hope my period won't show her ugly Face on Saturday 😅 9 DPO and usually short LP could mean that it could.

It's difficult trying to hide when TTC, what do you guys usually do? Now I'm aware not all people/families/friends are the same as ours, but the not drinking part gives you away straight away in our circles!

Thanks @SunStruck the tablets are now taking the edge off thankfully but I’m still not up to much.

I completely understand how hard it is seeing people get pregnant on their honeymoon and carry baby effortlessly. It just doesn’t seem fair. I was talking to Mum yesterday who had two of us without any problems. She said she didn’t worry once she might lose us. There were no scans then. She told people as soon as the doctor confirmed she was pregnant and there were no doubts. I can’t imagine being pregnant without fear. Even the first time I worried until 6 weeks and after mmc seemed rare enough not to worry about. So I had a period of assuming it would work out and was shocked when it didn’t. Now I worry about everything. Nothing is off limits. Saying that I l’ve become a bit more attached to the baby now we’ve had the scans. Still wishing time away though.

With regards to seeing family and friends. I just said I wasn’t drinking for health reasons and left it at that. I hate that people pry when you don’t drink. You should be able to just decide not too without questions.

I really hope AF doesn’t come and you get some surprise news! Xx

@SunStruck I'm good, thank you! Feeling very calm, actually the calmest I've been since the MC. DH and I are going for an impromptu trip, a couple of days near the Lizard/Kynance Cove area. We might even go paddleboarding/surfing if the weather is good, it's looking good ☀️ Your weekend plans sound brilliant 😊

I have actually told people close to me that we are TTC again and it was the best thing I've done. They knew about the MMC and everyone was very sympathetic and supportive, and they all keep their fingers crossed and wish us well now. As a result, no one is asking silly questions when it comes to drinking etc. Equally, no one asks "So, when are you going to have a baby?" which did happen before. I think people perceive DH and I as a really good match (which we are) and they naturally assumed we'd decide to have a baby together quickly. However, our plan was different and of course now the MC happened, and I think they recognise now that these kind of questions are out of order.

After my MC, I've cut down on going out with people who are not my close friends. I now focus on my inner circle, my tribe, who know a lot and who have been there for us. At business events, I just say I'm driving and stick to drinking OJ. No one asks sny questions, and in fact, I have now noticed lots of women doing the same. Version for the acquaintances, if needed, I'd that DH and I have gone tee-total, decaff and also reduced the meat intake & mostly eat vegetarian/vegan - I. E. we are the annoying people on the healthy "millenial" bandwagon 😂 (not quite but it's none of their business!). I think this sounds credible.

Interestingly, in work I have a number of colleagues going through IVF and since I told my story, everything is out in the open, we all support each other and cheer on each other, and obviously no one asks why we don't drink at certain times 😊 It's made life SO much easier and happier for all of us.

Re new pregnancy, I know what you mean - feels like we've been robbed of one of the biggest joys in life, enjoying these 9 months. But I keep telling myself that every pregnancy is separate and different and it is a gift of life, no matter what happens. It gives me peace to approach it this way. Xxx

Hi everyone. I miscarried 3days ago at 12weeks. I started bleeding on Sunday morning around 4am. We rushed to A&E and had a scan. The the said the bleeding was coming somewhere else and the pregnancy was intact. When I saw my baby I just smiled little did I know that the smile was going to turn into sadness . I was then told that my baby was too small to be 12 weeks nd also they couldn't find a heartbeat.The doc went on to say that my baby's heart had stopped maybe between 7 to 9weeks. I was speechless nd confused at the same time. I couldn't cry because I just told myself at that moment that I was dreaming. I walked to my bed in silence. I phoned my partner to come pick me up. The nurse came with the appointment card nd she explained what was going to happen next. I was going to come back on Tueday to discuss about hw I wanted to miscarry. I looked at the nurse with rage and told her that the doctor made a mistake nd I wanted a second scan. With all the confusion I forgot that I had had 2 scans. External nd internal. I went hope nd in less than an hour that's when the horror started. I had pains that was out of this world. Called the ambulance that came after 10mins.in those 10minutes everything was already on the bathroom floor. I cried 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭.went back to hospital were I spent one night. Iam home now resting. I still have the WHY's with no answers. May be it was not meant to be.

@MrsMGE Thank you so much for asking for me! So much has been going on these past couple of days!

Hi ladies! So sorry I dropped off the face of the Earth the last 3 days, a lot has been going on and I only wanted to post once I had some clarity on the entire situation. I didn’t want to trigger anyone because I know MN can sometimes cause more worry and anxiety. Here it goes...

Sunday I wiped when going to the loo and had the tiniest amount of red blood in with my discharge. I didn’t particularly panic at that moment but I spoke to OH who was adamant I should phone the NHS 24 which I did. I honestly thought they would just tell me to call the early pregnancy unit the Monday but they actually insisted I come straight to the hospital and get checked over. Now there was only a GP there so he ran some urine tests, blood pressure, heart rate ect and all came back fine but he was absolutely insistent because of previous MMC that I have another scan ASAP.

I called my EPAU Monday to self refer and bless them, they are so ridiculously busy but they made sure that I knew they wanted to see me. My 12 week scan was only 18 days away at this point so I thought they would just tell me to wait but they didn’t and told me to come in today at 2pm. In the meantime they wanted me to rest, take paracetamol and use a heat pad to soothe any pain I have been having. I did want to post about what was going on but was concerned there’s some pregnant ladies on the thread and didn’t want to bring on any anxiety for them or trigger any bad memories for the other ladies.

I forgot to add I have been having awful shooting pains up both sides for weeks now and it had intensified the past few days! I’ve just been trying to keep a level head and not assume the worst until I had the scan today.

I had my booking in appointment this morning with a midwife. They just went through standard questions and deemed me low risk. I told them about the scan today and they said a second MC in a row is unlikely and if it does happen it’s deemed more as ‘bad luck’ than anything else.

We just had our scan and thankfully baby is doing fab! We got to see it moving about and we got a picture of he or she away with us. Feeling super relieved as there was a few days there I was nervous. Our next scan is 2 weeks tomorrow and that will thankfully be our 12 week scan!

I’m so sorry @KBTari for your loss and the trauma of how it happened. I found the ‘why’ so haunting. I’d had no signs. I’d been vomiting and felt super pregnant. At 10 weeks I had a routine scan only to find my baby was 6 weeks. It just messes with your head. Try for now to focus on physical recovery. It’s normal to try to blame yourself but please know you did nothing wrong. Most pregnancy losses are down to a chromosomal abnormality which you had no control over. Of course you’ll want to rule out other causes with the GP when you’re feeling up to it. It helped me to view it as a tragic accident. When my baby was conceived there was something wrong so it would have never reached full term. With time I found it easier to be of the mindset that my baby was meant to be. He/she made me a Mum for the first time. I will never forget the nuances of that pregnancy. It’s a long road ahead but you will get stronger and feel like you can cope again. My loss was in February and I’m now 10 weeks pregnant again. All is looking good although it’s been tough after loss to believe I’m really having a baby. I will never truly be over what happened but it’s easier to deal with now. I hope you’re feeling better soon. Take care of yourself! Xx

Hey @Kiki061190 I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had so much stress. It must have been so scary and triggering. Thank goodness everything is ok. I’m not sure if I said but I had a bleed in the first pregnancy completely unrelated to the mmc. The doctor said it was around my cervix as a lot of blood can pool there and you can get a burst blood vessel. Honestly don’t worry about posting about stuff like this on here. I don’t find it triggering and am happy to support. Just glad all is ok! Xx

@Catconfusion Thank you so much! I was nervous but so happy to see little baby moving around today and we can now see it’s little arms ♥️ It has grown so much in 3 weeks! I feel like we’re at the last hurdle now and we just need to get by the next 2 weeks!

@Kiki061190 it’s amazing isn’t it!? We saw the arms and legs too last time. This is definitely the last major hurdle. My GP said the chances of mc after a healthy scan at 9 weeks are very slim and not to worry. Also 95% of women get the all clear at the 12 week scan too. Have you been able to work? How is the nausea? Xx

Awww @Kiki061190 I've been thinking about you and was worried if everything is OK as you've been quiet. Sorry you had to go through this, it's not what you need, especially after the MC. But delighted to hear everything is fine, and like you said, not long left at all till the 12th week scan now ❤️❤️❤️

@Catconfusion I have a tilted womb so they couldn’t get as clear a picture for me as they would usually get but they showed me ok screen. I totally get what you were saying about being more attached to the baby now. We’re a week past when our twins stopped developing and this baby looks like a baby now. I could see all the love in OH eyes. Fingers crossed the next scan is ok. The lady did say the same as you regarding the chances of MC being so slim now. We’ve been that small percentage before though... but this is a different pregnancy so I’ve promised myself I’m only thinking positive thoughts from here. I was off work the past 2 days. I couldn’t concentrate, my mind was elsewhere but thankfully they are understanding and I’ll return tomorrow.

@MrsMGE Thanks so much! I know I was deadly silent but I just didn’t want to post all these worries and make anyone else anxious. Thankfully we’re almost there and hopefully anyone else who has some small bleeding can see it and know that it doesn’t always signal bad things! How are you keeping? How many DPO are you now?

@Kiki061190 Post whatever and whenever you feel like, we're a team here ❤️❤️❤️

If we assume O happened on Sunday then 3DPO atm. I'm super chilled, looking forward to being on the beach soon ☀️xxx