Sorry, I didn't mean to end the post on a negative note. It is bringing me down, but ultimately I have a lot more going for me than just TTC or motherhood. I've never considered women who do not have children, for whatever reason, to be less "worthy". I personally always wanted to be a mother and so I'm finding it difficult to accept that this is not happening for me. But I don't believe everything else is wrong because of that, or that I'm undeserving. In fact, my thinking is that I'm going to focus on all the things in life I am good at, and on enjoying life. Being a mother doesn't determine anything in my view, certainly not my value as a woman. It doesn't feel good that my body is broken and not like everyone else's, this is very stressful and makes me angry at my own body. But it is what it is, I've got a lot to be grateful for, and a lot of good things in life that I worked hard for and succeeded to focus on. And that's what I'm going to do.
Taking foot off the pedal on the TTC front, I'll dtd but not having any hope, for anything. Instead, I'll be cracking on with getting a promotion, which is on the cards anyway, and work is very busy, I've got my fab travel plans again, I'm back in my fitness regime, I've got a wonderful DH, gorgeous pets and lovely friends around, house is nearly finished, and to be fair, I do scrub up well when I make an effort, haha! I treated myself to some new clothes last night as well 😁. Finally not postponing anything "because I might get pg". Even if it happens, so what. I've also booked some theatre trips which I love and I can't wait for that!
There's a lot more to life than motherhood. I'll concentrate on that, and frankly, whatever happens, happens. I will adopt one day if it doesn't work naturally. Where there's a will, there's a way, always.