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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)

923 replies

Kiki061190 · 08/08/2019 07:53

Hi ladies!

Our previous thread is now full so I’ve made a new one 😘

OP posts:
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SunStruck · 07/09/2019 15:13

@Catconfusion ohhhh soooo happy for you!!! Excited! 😄😄😄 amazing news, really. All the sickness paying off! ❤️

Catconfusion · 07/09/2019 15:32

Ha ha, thank you @SunStruck. The sonographer did that thing where they go all quiet and then she said: 'It's no wonder you've been feeling so rough, you've been growing a tiny human. Here's your baby!' She then swung the monitor round and showed us our perfect little critter. I of course burst into tears because I'd got worked up over not throwing up last night and whether or not that could be a bad sign. We're truly relieved! xx

Kiki061190 · 07/09/2019 22:47

@Catconfusion Thankfully we never had any spotting! We’ve actually dtd a couple of times since but it’s harder cause you have to much more gentle!

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MrsMGE · 08/09/2019 15:13

@Catconfusion So happy for you! Amazing news ❤️ How are you feeling today? Xx PS - not a chance for any dtd when I get pregnant again, my sex drive disappeared completely when I was pg last time and I felt so bloated that the last thing I'd even consider was sex. I think we only did it once in 10 wks I was pg (so DH better not complain now 😂). I completely understand where you're coming from, it's normal to bleed after sex in pg, but any bleeding would be freaking me out too after the MC.

@SunStruck How are you? Did you enjoy the rest of your weekend?

I'm having a busy one, done loads on the renovation front yesterday, gone through all my clothes, did all the washing, ironing etc., I feel like I'm getting ready for the autumn, everything will be cosy inside. I can't wait for the crisp, fresh mornings 💜 I've also gone for a jog last night and to the gym this morning, and currently doing some business development work. DH is out and I'm having the house to myself, our pets are snuggled up to me and I'm sat here with my laptop and a cup of coffee loving life. Bliss 😍

I've officially run out of CB sticks, got a new pack, using the same holder, and here goes another flashing smiley... 9th day in a row. Femometer lines are looking lighter than yesterday, and even on CB I wouldn't exactly say they're massively dark. Sometimes I think they're progressing, sometimes I think it's all in my head. One thing for sure, it still stresses me out, and now either the result is going to be that I O when I thought anyway without tracking)(I. E. quite late in the cycle - next week) or not at all, at least according to OPKs, which is going to freak me out. I'm not a happy bunny. I'll wait till the end of next week and see what happens, but so far I am of the view that I've wasted so much time and money only to get more anxious than I was before. Ditching the lot of them as soon as I'm close to my AF.

Hope you're all feeling good and having a lovely day xx

MrsMGE · 08/09/2019 15:29

Here are my OPKs from the last few days. As you can see, Femometer (the pink ones) is not really showing any progression, the lines are not where they should be to indicate LH surge. I've been testing few times a day now, the morning ones should be ignored as they're likely inaccurate. But even the afternoon/evening ones don't look amazing either. I also gave up on trying to use their LH level tool as it doesn't work, it shows different results each time depending on the angle, light etc, utterly pointless. The highest score it has ever showed me was LH40 I think earlier on in the cycle, and the line was even fainter than these. I'm also worried that today LH seems to have dipped, no idea why :(

I also attach CB photos from yesterday and today for comparison.

Does this make any sense? Do you see any progression at all?

First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)
First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)
MrsMGE · 08/09/2019 15:33

Oh wait it didn't post the pics... I'll try again.

First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)
MrsMGE · 08/09/2019 15:34

Sorry, it did work the first time after all, MN didn't show the images at first! Please ignore my second post.

Any thoughts? Is it even worth me tracking for longer in this cycle?

SunStruck · 09/09/2019 02:19

@Catconfusion I can't imagine the relief you must have felt! I dread every time I get into that chair (apart from the miscarriage when I got bad news, I'm being tracked now for ovulation when I'm constantly getting bad news... 🙄). Hoping for the 3 months to fly by so you'll hopefully feel better in the 2nd trimester.

@MrsMGE great and healthy weekend thanks! What about you? Sorry can't help you with pics as I only ever use the digital clear blue 😕 but I also did an OPK test this morning which was negative. I still think I have a chance this cycle (I was being super negative before), because looking at all previous cycles I should ovulate beginning of next week. I'm clinging on to the hope the meds just didn't work on me to bring forward ovulation, but that I will ovulate late anyway. Another scan today so we'll see 🙄🙄

I think you should keep tracking just in case, you want to know if you ovulate really late like me and then have a short luteal phase.

@Kiki061190 hope you're having an amazing holiday xxx

Catconfusion · 09/09/2019 10:15

@SunStruck I hope you scan goes well. I can imagine it’s so frustrating.

Yes it was such a relief. I’m at the point I found out about the mmc so I’d got wound up thinking it would be bad news. The scan blew our minds and made everything worth it. I don’t know what we’ll do if it goes wrong now. We’re so invested now it looks like a baby. Thankfully our chances are good and we’re trying not to think about the what ifs. Xx

@MrsMGE it looks like you’re not quite there yet. I hope the test line is getting darker now. DH is just having to accept it at the moment. I have zero drive at the moment. Unfortunately the sickness is pretty debilitating. Now we’ve got so far in I’m just focusing on the end prize. It’s likely we’ll have a baby at the end so all will be worth it. Xx

MrsMGE · 09/09/2019 10:26

@Catconfusion I know, I agree I'm not there yet 😔 Feeling very upset with all this, I probably won't ovulate now, as it's been so long with the flashing smileys and lines not getting much darker 😔

My tummy isn't great either, it's been funny for days, either an IBS flare up or I've eaten something funny. I don't feel right and my energy is down, just so, so tired. It's not my best time tbh 😔

Here is the photo from this morning, I'm really losing the will here xxx

First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage (Part 4)
MrsMGE · 09/09/2019 10:29

@SunStruck How did the scan go? Like I said above, I'm feeling really down about this whole thing today, but I will continue to dtd for another week-week and a half and see what happens.

My head is not in a good place because of the OPKs, I feel I should have just dtd regularly for 2 weeks or so without checking anything xxx

Catconfusion · 09/09/2019 11:57

I’m sorry to hear that @MrsMGE I have to say I found opks stressful. I ovulate really late so it just reminded me my body wasn’t doing what I felt it should. It’s silly really because everyone is different and my body was just doing it’s thing. I’m sure your body wants this as much as you do. I found stress delayed it even more. Ovusense was the better evil for me as I could just pop it in every night and it told me when I’d ovulated. Obviously I had to dtd every other day until then but at least I knew it had happened. If I were to do it again I don’t think I’d track anything. I’d just live my life and dtd as often as I could. How long is your cycle usually? Do you feel you’d usually have ovulated by now? I hope you get some signs soon. As I said I’d given up on opks when I conceived this baby. I noticed a load of EWCM a couple of days before O. We dtd and then it was confirmed by Ovusense on day 32. It was all incredibly lucky! xx

Kiki061190 · 09/09/2019 15:52

@SunStruck Holiday is fab thanks for asking! I’m burnt tho 🙄 OH and I are going for date night tonight and a Michelin star restaurant ♥️ If course you still have a chance of O! @Catconfusion is proof that late ovulation can happen and work 😍 Keep dtd and have faith!

@MrsMGE Honestly ditch those things! They cost a fortune and only bring on stress. I’ve never ever have a positive and I’ve fallen preggers twice. Not once have I had close to a positive. Don’t worry ♥️ Sounds like you had a super productive weekend. I’ve been keeping my mind clear here and relaxing as well. Still feel very not pregnant but what’s going to be will be!

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SunStruck · 09/09/2019 16:39

Thanks for the support ladies! My scan didn't go at all, I showed up and the Dr had forgotten to book me in (she wasn't even at the hospital!) 😡😡

Anyway I'm going to drop it for now and just do OPK from later this week, it really doesn't do me any good to constantly go back there to hear no follicles! I'm on CD 20, and last cycle I had a 13mm follicle on CD 26 and ovulated on CD 31, so I'm still early (for me). I'm just hoping it means the meds didn't work to bring ovulation forward, but I'll still ovulate.

@Catconfusion I can imagine it was all worth it when you saw the scan 😍😍

@MrsMGE sorry to hear you're not feeling well 😔 would staying at home one day this week help? Just to rest up. Don't worry about the OPK, you might just be ovulating late like me! Xx

@Kiki061190 oh so jealous! Where is this Michelin starred resto? We went for 2 different ones in Positano last year 😃

Catconfusion · 09/09/2019 18:34

I’m so sorry @SunStruck the hospital was a nightmare. It sounds early for you so hang on in there. I know how frustrating it feels. My cycles were a nightmare. If you can catch that egg your chances are good! Honestly the stress of it all melts away when you see that baby moving around. You’ll get there! Xx

SunStruck · 10/09/2019 09:09

Thanks for the support @Catconfusion ☺️

Good news, just been for the scan and I have a 12mm follicle growing!! 🥳 going back again for another scan to follow the follicle on Thursday. Should be ovulating this weekend or just beginning of next week!

Catconfusion · 10/09/2019 09:47

Yay @SunStruck that’s fantastic news. Fingers and toes crossed for you! Xx

MrsMGE · 10/09/2019 10:02

@SunStruck That's great news! Go for it, girl, I hope this month is your month! 🙏🥰

@Kiki061190 How was the Michelin restaurant? How's the weather in Italy? Hope you're loving life there ❤️

Thanks for your support @Catconfusion. I am seriously worried now, I've continued with CB Advanced Digital (and I still have flashing smileys, twice a day, FMU and evening), but the lines are not getting darker. My acupuncturist said that we can bring O forward if it's meant to happen this month, I've had my treatment and yet the lines are still the same. According to my own calculation and the online calculators, I should ovulate in the end of this week (Thu/Fri) at the latest. I just don't think this is going to happen as I can't see any progression, and it's Tuesday already. I think I'm out this cycle, I'm not going to ovulate. I am absolutely devastated, just wanna cry 24/7.

Xxx

Catconfusion · 10/09/2019 10:59

I’m sorry @MrsMGE don’t give up hope! I don’t think I ever got a clear progression on opks. They seemed to get dark quite suddenly i.e within a day or two of O. I know some people seem to get a clear progression but it might be suddenly all systems go for you. Try and relax as much as possible as I’m sure the stress can prevent it happening. The cycle I got pregnant I had a failed ovulation because I got so worked up over my chart. It took a week to recover and ovulate after that. I could have kicked myself for getting so wound up. Just trust your body knows what it is doing and opks don’t always give a good reflection of what’s really going on. The LH surge happens differently for everyone. I hope you get your peak soon! Xx

SunStruck · 10/09/2019 11:49

@MrsMGE I am positive we will both ovulate!!! If you don't have PCOS I think anovulatory cycles should be really rare I think, so you're surely just late.

We might be twinning ovulating this weekend 👯 😄

Kiki061190 · 10/09/2019 16:29

@SunStruck YAY about the follicle! ♥️ The restaurant was down almost in a cave not too far from the main square. Was super lush and they were so nice when OH told them I was pregnant and couldn’t have alcohol. What’s the dtd plan for O? Every 2nd day?

@MrsMGE Restaurant was lushhhh! My appetite hasn’t been the best over here as I’m just feeling a bit meh but apart from that wouldn’t know I was pregnant. You will O! I swear it happens at different days every month. I can O from cycle day 15-18. Keep dtd and don’t let those little devil sticks get to you!

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SunStruck · 11/09/2019 02:29

@Kiki061190 wow that sounds amazing!!! You really deserve all the fun, food, peace and quiet you can get! What else do you have planned for the trip?

@MrsMGE hey hun, how are you getting on? I known it's difficult but try to not let the OPK sticks take too much headspace. I am guilty for freaking out earlier this cycle too, it's just difficult when the cycle is so unpredictable and you only have certain chances a year. If it stresses you out that much, then just chuck them and bd every other day instead. If it was me I would want to know sort of when I usually ovulate though, but I have this from using Naturalcycles app (I'm temping). I would not recommend this for you if OPKs stresses you out (which I understand).

I actually got a solid smiley on OPK this morning, I don't understand how it's possible?! I did a test 2 days ago and it showed 0 (low fertility), skipped yesterday as I thought I'd test every other day to save OPK since my O shouldn't be happening until Monday next week according to app. Did the scan yesterday with 12 mm follicle, so assumed everything on track for early next week (follicles usually grow by 1-2mm a day, and won't be released until they are approx. 19-21mm, so ovulating next week makes sense). Hah call me the Fertility Doctor, I have a Google degree 🙄🙄🙄

Can a follicle really grow this quickly in 24-48h?! Or is it the meds that kicked in very late? Who knows but I'll make sure to BD tonight and tomorrow! I'm a bit annoyed at myself for not doing OPK yesterday, if it showed flashing I would have bd'd yesterday to maximize my chances!!

So confused.

MrsMGE · 11/09/2019 06:28

Hey @SunStruck, that's fab news! Go for it tonight and the next couple of days, all the signs are there! Sorry I can't help re the follicle growth, I've never had mine scanned or measured so I gave no knowledge of how thus works. A solid smiley is a solid smiley though!

I gave had no progression whatsoever, in fact the lines are even more faint. Still a flashing smiley this morning, but who cares at this point. It's obvious I'm not fertile atm.

I'll continue with OPKs until mid-next week, about a week or so before my AF is due (I think) and also dtd 4 times, but I've lost my hope.

I've booked two holidays for early next year, obviously I won't be pg then at this rate, and at least I've got something to look forward to and not focus on this shit.

I'll go private and see a fertility specialist early next year as well, and go on the NHS waiting list in March as this is going to be 12 months from when we started TTC.

I hate my stupid body for not doing the job, but here I am, I've become an incapable woman who can't carry the baby, and can't even get pg now to make it even sweeter. I hate myself.

MrsMGE · 11/09/2019 07:32

Sorry, I didn't mean to end the post on a negative note. It is bringing me down, but ultimately I have a lot more going for me than just TTC or motherhood. I've never considered women who do not have children, for whatever reason, to be less "worthy". I personally always wanted to be a mother and so I'm finding it difficult to accept that this is not happening for me. But I don't believe everything else is wrong because of that, or that I'm undeserving. In fact, my thinking is that I'm going to focus on all the things in life I am good at, and on enjoying life. Being a mother doesn't determine anything in my view, certainly not my value as a woman. It doesn't feel good that my body is broken and not like everyone else's, this is very stressful and makes me angry at my own body. But it is what it is, I've got a lot to be grateful for, and a lot of good things in life that I worked hard for and succeeded to focus on. And that's what I'm going to do.

Taking foot off the pedal on the TTC front, I'll dtd but not having any hope, for anything. Instead, I'll be cracking on with getting a promotion, which is on the cards anyway, and work is very busy, I've got my fab travel plans again, I'm back in my fitness regime, I've got a wonderful DH, gorgeous pets and lovely friends around, house is nearly finished, and to be fair, I do scrub up well when I make an effort, haha! I treated myself to some new clothes last night as well 😁. Finally not postponing anything "because I might get pg". Even if it happens, so what. I've also booked some theatre trips which I love and I can't wait for that!

There's a lot more to life than motherhood. I'll concentrate on that, and frankly, whatever happens, happens. I will adopt one day if it doesn't work naturally. Where there's a will, there's a way, always.

Catconfusion · 11/09/2019 07:34

Hey @MrsMGE don't assume you're not fertile as it can change very quickly. This cycle might be a longer one for you but you may still O. Remember the mc was not your fault. Try not to blame your body. I know its hard and I did the same at the first. It sounds like your body did a really good job and tried its hardest to carry your baby. The chromosomes came from you and your partner so it was the combination that created something that wasn't quite right.

Try not to assume you won't be pregnant by next year. It can happen very quickly. As I said I went from absolute despair to being pregnant within a week and I'm 40 years old with irregular cycles. It was totally unexpected and I was just hopeful the fertility appointment we had coming up would get us help.

I'm so sorry you're getting down. It's so hard trying again after loss. Remember your body wants this as much as you but it might need a bit more time. Even if this isn't your month its absolutely fine because your body is getting stronger. You will get there. Try to stay as relaxed as possible about it.

It's good you have a plan and you're not putting your life on hold just in case. Life should be about fun and enjoyment and it doesn't have to be miserable until you conceive. I know its stressful and exhausting but you're doing really well and I'm sure you'll get some better news very soon! xx