First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

Hello ladies

I was out for a very long walk yesterday so didn't get chance to chin-in on the work/ttc discussions. From my experience I have found having my own business a method of getting flexibility. In architectural practice the long hours are expected of you (although they say they don't) and to get the job done within the fee does mean that you have to work lots of hours for free. Although I am still practicing architecture, albeit just for myself (I don't employ people) I have found that by having low overheads I can make a living out of it, without working ridiculous hours, albeit sometimes there is that need to meet a deadline, but we all have that. I'm coming up to the end of my first two years at the end of April, and definitely would do all that I can to no go back in to regular employment.

However, it is fair to say that the ttc process hasn't been easy and has been distracting and has thrown me off my A game on a few occasions. Luckily I have a workload which is both creative and report based, so when I am feeling that the ttc process is getting me down I concentrate on getting the report writing done and when I am feeling more positive I get the design work out. This works most of the time, but can get difficult if the deadlines are looming.

I called my previous employer on discrimination once, as I found out that my male equivalent was
on a better package than me...I soon got the better package! But, we really shouldn't have to do this. As soon as i found this out, I lost all respect for the partners running the business and it was a slow decline from there really...slow being 5 years!

@Catconfusion - how are the temps looking today? @sadtoday21 - have you had O confirmed? Xx

It's really difficult to know what to do about ttc again straight after the ERPC @NBparis - I did try straight away, but didn't catch until the 3rd cycle after the op. That unfortunately ended in an early natural MC. I caught again on the next cycle after the natural MC. I have found that I have had to compartmentalise my emotions from the TTC process and not get my hopes up. This helps me with the preparation should anything happen which results in a loss. Given my recent success, I feel the odds are not in my favour, and then put a lot of stock in symptoms! If you do decided to try again straight away, the only advice I would give is be prepared mentally. Which sounds like obvious advice I know, but it can be very up and down and all consuming. It's all a personal choice and only you will know if you are ready. Xx

Update from me...still pregnant today! One day at a time and all that. I'm seeing my first hurdle as 6 weeks. When I get there I will ring the midwives to book in. I have already made an appointment with the doctor should the worst happen as that would be my third MC. Hopefully I won't need to see the doctor, but getting appointments is ridiculous at my practice, so best to plan ahead. I am feeling pregnant, which is a good sign.

Love to all. Hope you all got your Easter egg xx

Hey @Amanda81 your business sounds amazing. It's tough to make a go of a small business so you've obviously put a lot of work in. Mine was going really well but then DH proposed and the only way I could afford the time to plan the wedding, get married and have a month long honeymoon was to scale things down. The plan was to scale up again after Christmas but my hypermesis was so bad I couldn't work. Then the miscarriages happened. Now I know how ill pregnancy makes me I've decided to keep things on hold for now. I think if we don't have success over the next few months I'll start up again.

Thanks for asking, my temps dipped again today but I do seem to have a pattern of three up and a dip before a rise. I'll just have to see how it is tomorrow.

I'm so pleased you're feeling pregnant and keeping busy. All signs are looking good. Being brave enough to contingency plan is a good idea too. I'm sure you won't need that GP appointment but good it's there. Waiting for 6 weeks for booking in is probably for the best and I would do that next time. It avoids that horrible phone call to cancel should it not work out.

I've booked a GP appointment for two weeks time to get DHs SA results. We'll go together and ask the doctor to outline their fertility policy for patients over 40. I need to know what we'd be entitled to. Also due to this crazy cycle I want a cd 3 hormone test. I will complain if this isn't offered at this point. Really need to check I'm not peri menopausal. I don't like how they assume fertility because a conception occurred. Miscarriage can be a sign of hormone imbalance. I'm sure it's not that but if we need IVF I'd rather know now.

Anyway happy Easter to you! Keep us posted on how you're getting on. Xx

Happy Easter ladies! Sorry I've been a bit quiet, it's been a busier than expected couple of days and now I'm looking forward to a relaxed tow dahs at home just with DH!

@Amanda81 I think it's amazing how you manage to be so pragmatic about the hurdles and milestones. It's where i'm trying to get to as I know it's helps my mental health and will help if we have another loss or struggle with TTC this time. Sounds like things are going well I really have everything crossed for you this time 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

@Catconfusion how are the temps looking today?

@sadtoday21 @NBparis I've found your conversation about work really interesting. I have a very full on job that at times is quite stressful and the last few months has made me really rethink my future in the job. Simple things like I've got to go away for 2 nights with my boss and director at the end of May and all I can think about is how I'm going to hide not drinking if I'm pregnant or trying or what if those are days when I should be at home with DH DTD! I'm in what should be my dream job and on the stepping stone to a promotion but so many mornings these days I just wish I was doing a smaller job with less pressure. What you said about having an identity outside of TTC really resonated with me and the long weekend has really given me time to reflect on the work situation. Think I'll carry on for now and see how it goes in the next couple of months before making any decisions I may regret further down the line.

@wanderlustgirl have you tried using the OPKs yet?

Update from me, 3rd day of flashing smiley and temps looking ok! Fingers crossed for confirmed o in the next few days! Xxx

@3204ECL another drop and thanks for asking. I did have a big rise after a drop so could be O'coming. I really don't know what to think!

I have to say it's been a blessing in disguise scaling work down now we're ttc. I'm not sure I could handle work stress. I was a teacher before and the stress caused havoc with my cycles. I think it's wise to consider how you could adapt your work situation to limit stress.

Your chart is looking good and I really hope you get O' soon. Have a lovely Easter! Xx

@Amanda81 I think that is a great attitude! I would do the same in your position and I also think 6 weeks is the first major milestone. Will you get an early scan?

I think I have a decent temp rise today in the attached chart. It seems to correspond with my usual O on cd19. Hopefully sustained high temps in the next two days will confirm it. My pattern seems to be two dips and then O. This, combined with my previous LP of 17 days, is making me realise that my cycle is longer than I thought - somewhere between 33-36 days. I've calculated that if all is well with the test results I could catch the next cycle in mid to late May.

@3204ECL your chart looks great! Hoping for a confirmed temp rise for you soon. @Catconfusion hoping you will also confirmation in the next few days!

Happy Easter and Passover weekend to all who are celebrating! Enjoy the amazing weather :)

Thanks @Catconfusion - it has been a lot of hard work and determination. I planned the exit strategy a year before i left and made all my contacts, so had a good start when I was being paid by somebody else. I totally understand about how you feel, I am envious in a way that you have the ability to put things aside for a while. I can't imagine how poorly you were with the pregnancy, must have been absolutely terrible. Is it something guaranteed for the next pregnancy.

I think you do have to be ruthless with the GPs, you seem to know the right questions, and you have put a lot of time and effort in to knowing what questions to ask. Your hormones do appear to be out of whack this cycle, however this could just be one of those cycles and everything may drop back in to place soon. I am sure it will all level out soon. You are making good efforts with the diet aswell, and that should help with rebalancing. Are you exercising? I have found this very helpful, not that it's shifting any weight, but for my mindset I have found it very helpful.

My DH is being so very supportive, and is super proud of me walking the wye valley yesterday (Monmouth to Chepstow). We were walking with friends and as it involved some steep hill climbs I ended up telling my girl-friend about he pregnancy as I was struggling with getting my breath and was worried about going to fast. I then told her DH as I wasn't drinking in the evening. It was good to tell them, but we was very much playing it down. They know my history, so knew not to show excitement.

@3204ECL - hello 👋 it's taking me a while to get to this mental state. I've tried so many methods of holding it together, and have found that emotional detachment has helped - it's helping me get through the day to day. I think I've said before that I plan for the worst, so if the worst does happen the blow is softened a little. Your low temp and EWCM today are all very good positive signs...fingers crossed for O being confirmed soon. How long are your cycles generally? Do you know when you usually O?

Hi @sadtoday21 - you've got sticky CM...yey! They say that the change in CM is one of the signs that O has happened. And a decent temp rise to help with that theory! Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 with the next few days of high temps. I think we will get an early scan, and will most likely have one before i see the midwife...see how it unfolds and what the next week brings. It would be amazing if you could start trying again after this cycle...very exciting! 😀

Thanks for the advice re trying again. I suppose it's a little different for us as I've never gotten pregnant naturally so it wouldn't be that likely to happen anyway. I do see that the emotional toll of having a third mc would be severe right now as I'm really not feeling very robust after our recent experience. I had the d&c on Thursday and still not feeling right. Feel nauseous and constipated and just generally groggy. Did any of you experience that? I had two glasses of wine last night and have such a bad hangover this morning which is really unusual for me. I'm wondering if alcohol is reacting with leftover progesterone or something... I thought I'd be OK to resume normal life on Tuesday but I'm really not feeling up to anything other than lying in bed.

@amanda81 it's so great that you are still pregnant. My doctors have always said to me that the chances of a successful pregnancy are much much higher than the chances of another loss, even with previous losses, so try to remember that.
@3204ECL I completely understand how you feel about your job. You deserve to have the dream job and a family and it is awful to feel that one dream is interfering with another. I hope you'll get pregnant this cycle so you can keep going with your job without having to worry about stress affecting cycles. @catconfusion my teaching job in the UK was very stressful too but since I'm not a class teacher my current position isn't stressful at all. What stresses me is trying to impress a school so they'll give me another contract while also taking time off for appointments without being able to explain what they are. I think I'll just have to be upfront about it now though and accept the consequences. The most important thing to me now is getting and staying pregnant and I'll be able to build my career later (hopefully!).

@sadtoday21 @3204ECL glad to see your charts are looking good and hopefully you'll have confirmed ovulation soon. Fingers crossed for you too @catconfusion. It's gotta happen soon!! Xx

@Amanda81 cycles are usually about 26 days but no idea what day I normally o!

Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine ☀️x

Just read that the ideal FP for conceiving is between 10-17 days. After 17 days the egg quality decreases and can be a signal of low oestrogen production. Apparently BC can contribute to a longer FP and increasing your intake of vit. D can shorten it again. Since my FP is 19, I am wondering if I should be concerned about this and try to fix it? Any thoughts @Catconfuson or others?

Hey @sadtoday21 what do you mean by FP? Xx

Are you referring to the Follicular Phase @sadtoday21 - tbh, I've never done any research in this area. I had understood though that the FP is more influential and subject to change than the LP. The LP rarely changes and remains a constant give or take 24 hours xx

@sadtoday21 if you mean follicular stage I've only twice in my life probably had one less than 19 days. If I ovulate now mine will have been 34 days but I still can have a viable pregnancy. I wouldn't worry at all about 19 days as that's normal. If follicular stage was so time dependent ladies with pcos wouldn't be able to have babies and most do. Someone from my Ovusense group just conceived on day 59 and her pregnancy is progressing fine. My GP also reassured me it doesn't matter when the egg is released as long as a strong ovulation. The LP is more of a concern as needs to be long enough for the embryo to implant. Xx

Good morning everyone. I hope you're all having nice Easter weekends.

Today is 3 weeks since my surgery so I've just taken a test and it's still positive. It's fainter but the line is definitely, undeniably there. Why is my body so stubbornly refusing to get with the program?! It's now been 10 weeks since my baby stopped growing. So my question is how concerned do you think I should be? Should I wait another week and test again or try and ring someone tomorrow?

@AnnaMC214 I had this exact same issue about 3 weeks ago! First question what sort of test are you using? I was advised you only need a negative on a cheap strip test as that's the expected level for your HCG to drop to. It will often taken a first period before it disappears completely or to the level some of the more sensitive tests use. I was also advised to wait 3 more days as the line was fading before contacting the EPU again and sure enough in 3 days it had gone. How do you feel other than bloody frustrated every time you take a test? I felt fine in myself which I was also told was a good sign there was no other retained tissue still going on. Hope this helps x

@3204ECL thank you so much for your reply, it's made me feel much better. I still had a frer lying around so I used that and I know they are the super sensitive ones. I feel completely fine and, particularly in the last couple of days, I have more energy than I've had for months. The hospital never actually gave me any advice on taking a test but I thought I'd been quite patient waiting until now. Perhaps I'll give it another week. xx

@Amanda81 definitely give it a little longer und use a strip test. Just like you I felt almost back to normal and had more energy so was really gutted when I kept seeing a positive. Really hoping you get your negative soon. X

Good morning everyone, @AnnaMC214 I'm sorry to hear you still have a positive. My EPU said three weeks then call but might be worth waiting as @3204ECL said as it's a FRER and faint. I'm sure it'll go. Mine was faint then two days later gone so can go quickly. I've heard milk thistle is good to help detox the body of excess hormones. I hope it goes soon! Xx

@Catconfusion thank you. I know it's quite a minor setback considering what others on here have been through but it's brought all the bad feelings straight to the surface again just as I was starting to feel more positive. I will wait and see for another week unless I get any other symptoms of a problem. More waiting ☹️ That's interesting about milk thistle. xx

@AnnaMC214 it's completely understandable. It's such a traumatic thing to go through. You just want your body to recover! Xx

Hey @Amanda81 thanks for your input. It's so lovely to feel supported. The sickness seems likely again as I had significant nausea with the Chemical. I seem very sensitive to hcg!

Unfortunately I have osteoarthritis in my hips so exercise is tricky. Having to dtd as much as we have has even aggregated it. Anything weight bearing is tricky. If I walk over 10,000 steps I struggle. I do yoga on good days but my mood has been very low recently. Just no motivation. I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from reactive depression and I can't seem to remove the emotion from this yet. I'm hoping it'll get easier but my body being irregular is making things tougher. Still no O' and hart below.

How are you feeling today? Xx

Morning @Catconfusion - I can see how exercise could be difficult and finding the right type of exercise to suit your needs also a challenge...add on top the emotional ups and downs of what you have been through, I can understand the lack of motivation. I struggle with motivation for exercise, but do enjoy a good walk. Sorry to see that your chart isnt showing the fruits of all of your efforts, don't you just wish you could just fast forward a week and see where you are? I sometimes wish this, but then kick myself for wishing my life away. Such a mind-f#*k! Thinking of you in this period of unknown and frustration, and sending lots of positive vibes xx

I'm finding it a challenge to stay positive and am symptom spotting like a crazy loon! It's all a waiting game, which I just hate. I keep reminding myself that if it isn't meant to be, I've been through a natural and surgical MC and have got through to the other-side, so it won't kill me...but I don't like the feeling of having no hope. I wish I could just bounce around like tigger and be happy to be pregnant. Still, I am pregnant today and have some mild symptoms which is better than last time and the same as the first time. Only 1 wk and 1 day to go to 6 week milestone!

I would give it a few more days @AnnaMC214 and see how it goes. I am sure it will clear. If you test in 3 or 4 days time and you still have a line, perhaps phone the epu for some advice and guidance. As you are feeling generally well, I would try and stay positive and keep making the progress you have achieved so far (well done on this btw). Sending hugs 🤗😘xx

Good morning all, hope you’re having good weekends ☀️

I had the same @AnnaMC214 so I completely understand the frustration, I ended up waiting another week then calling EPU. Hope you’re BFN comes soon 🤞🏻

Great to hear your positivity @Amanda81, glad you felt able to share with people.

No idea what’s going on with me, I’m on CD29 now after the chemical, been spotting on and off the whole time and having negative OPKs last week till now yet had major EWCM on Saturday, not sure what that is about 🤷🏻‍♀️ Started temping on Thursday but not sure how long to wait to see the pattern? It said to wait till start of a new cycle but I wanted to know what was happening now!

@Amanda81 thank you. It's so tough whatever point we're at. Even regular cycles are frustrating when they keep happening and no baby. Wow, nearly six weeks already! You're nearly there and much more certainty after that point. Unlikely you'd be unlucky enough to have another mmc so 6 weeks would really bode well. Also the fact you're having symptoms. All signs are good but like you say you've been through two losses and came out the other side. Chances are it won't come to that. I've got a good feeling about this one!

We've been busy with a bank holiday car boot and I've felt better so maybe I just need to plan more engaging things to do. I'm feeling like I'm having alternate good/bad days so not sure if that's hormone fluctuations. I felt it was like that when I was pregnant too.

The pain from my hips doesn't help with exercise as it makes movement tricky. I'm actually pleased DH has sperm analysis tomorrow. We dtd yesterday so an extra day off until after the sample is dropped off. My hips will be pleased.

Hope your week goes quickly so you can relax a bit more! Xx

@Catconfusion I'm sorry there's still no good news about O. Motivation can be hard at the best of times so I'm not surprised you're struggling with it right now. If worrying about stuff like that is added pressure then maybe just do some gentle yoga when you feel inclined or maybe swimming would be ok for your hips?

@Amanda81 thank you, I think that's very good advice. I'm sorry you're having an anxious time of it. I wish I had the power to give you, me, and everyone else here the worry free pregnancy that some people get to experience. I remember every day feeling like a week at this stage so I think distraction is key. If you can, allow some positive thoughts through too. I wish I'd enjoyed my pregnancy more as trying to protect my heart ultimately didn't achieve anything at all.

@bananamonkey thanks. It seems strange feeling so gutted when that second line comes up. I've just started temping too (also without waiting for a new cycle) and unfortunately I think it will take a little while to get the full benefit from it.