First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted - don't think I've been on this new thread yet so haven't gotten any notifications. Thanks for setting it up @sadtoday21! How're you?

From what I can see you have some good news to share @Amanda81. Congrats! I'm sure this is an anxiety riddled time but I'm keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you. Hope you were able to enjoy that last glass of red before you found out!

I'm totally lost. I feel in limbo. My temps are all over the place. I keep getting cramps but no O or AF. It's ridiculous to think my last AF was in November yet I'm not pregnant and it's nearly May. I've been wreckless this bank holiday and indulging in too much booze and bad food because I feel so bad but that's only made me feel worse. I hate this this much. I should be counting down to the third trimester. And instead both my body and I are lost.

Sorry for the moan. Feeling a bit blue. I'm going to have a bath and read through the whole thread and catch up with where you are. Hope you're all okay. Xx

Hey @sarmum14 it's so lovely to hear from you. I'm so sorry your cycle is a WTF one. I guess it's difficult to know what cycle day you are. You might have seen I'm not having a great time either: 35 days in and no O' just two failed ones so not sure what's going on. I don't blame you for eating and drinking what you want. I ate a whole Easter egg last night. It gave me a headache but it was worth it. It's dtd every other day that's causing stress as I'm so tired. Are you actively trying? What does your chart look like? I really hope you at least get AF soon so you can start again. Xx

@sarmum14 good to hear from you, sorry you're having a crap time. I've also over indulged on the booze and food a bit this weekend and am feeling the effects 😔 really
Hoping your cycle gets back to a more normal place soon and you can start looking forward. It's such a shitty in between time isn't it... I had AF last week but before that hadn't had one since December so know exactly how you feel. X

@Catconfusion so sorry still no bloody o for you. Sorry you're feeling a bit down as well but glad the car boot was a distraction! Keeping busy is so important isn't it? I've found on the days when I've got nothing on I feel my worst. Been busy gardening in the sunshine this morning which has been a nice relaxing distraction! X

Hello @Catconfusion - I have just finished catching up and am so sorry to read that you're in a similar boat to me. It's completely disorientating isn't it? And I don't blame you on the eating the whole Easter egg front. I drank a bottle of white wine yesterday and ate two hot cross buns for breakfast today. I feel stodgy and jowly and upset. I've read previous posts from you about weight gain and I'm in a similar boat. I need to be stricter re my diet because the wine and bread is making me feel more miserable inside a body I already don't recognise.

After my MVA, which was 4 weeks ago from tomorrow (!!!) and telling DH what happened to you, @Amanda81and @sadtoday21 post MMC with first pregnancy he and I decided to refrain from TTC until first AF. We both agreed that maybe my body needed the recovery and I didnt think I could be brave enough to cope with a loss after this loss. But we didn't think it'd take months to have an AF!!!! It's a month later and nothing. And neither of us wants to use contraception as it feels bloody depressing and counter intuitive so we're in limbo.

Maybe I along control of my diet and will benefit my mood and make me feel in control? I saw that you're following something for your PCOS and I wonder if doing something constructive will help me to feel better?

It's so nice to connect on here again. Maybe I've been feeling so rubbish because I've been adrift and not connected to you all.

Xx

@3204ECL - thanks for responding. Yes it's silly isn't it, indulge in the booze and bad food to distract myself from the misery but it ends up making me feel more miserable as it makes my body feel crap and I put on weight which drags me down. You'd think I'd know better at the age of 36! It's my birthday in 2 weeks and I think that's partly why I'm having an existential crisis. I know 37 is a decent age to still conceive but this wasn't part of my "plan"!!!

Anyway, sending love to you also. Xx

@sarmum14 it's so counterintuitive but Ive always been an emotional eater! I lost weight directly after the MMC but I've noticed it's crept back on in the weeks after. I decided to enjoy this weekend (a little too much it turns out!) and start a fresh from tomorrow! I've decided after this conversation that I'm going to spend a few hours this afternoon meal prepping as I know I've got a busy week at work this week so if I don't take lunch I end up getting some bad on the go!

Sadly it seems it isn't as easy as having a "plan" does it? I've had this conversation with a couple of close friends I've told about the MMC, 2 of which are also trying. Part of me wishes we'd started earlier but that wasn't our "plan" at the time. I'm very much trying to take the mentality that when it's the right time it will happen but some days it's just so hard 😔

Hope you're enjoying the sunshine wherever you are x

Hello @sarmum14 - it's good to hear from you! Sounds like you have needed some head space, but glad to have you back on here. Sorry to hear that you are also in limbo. Do the doctors give you any extra care after the MVA? Or are you just sent on your way? You've had such a long and unsettling process dealing with the MMC, having multiple procedures to get you back online, it 's no wonder it's taking your body a while to snap back in to it. I hope you have some success soon.

I'm grateful that so far my body has played game with O'ing and I am pregnant again (3rd time lucky 🍀). My last cycle (3 cycles after erpc) ended in a MC at 5 and a half weeks, and am really really hoping that this is a sticky one. It's hard to stay hopeful, and my natural position is to expect the worst, almost as a protective shield that I wear. Anyway it's really got to hear from you and look forward to chatting soon xx

Wise words @AnnaMC214 - thank you for your support! You are right protecting your heart doesn't get you anywhere other than missing out on the experience, I will do my best to let the positive vibes seep through xx

Sounds like keeping busy is a good strategy @Catconfusion - I have certainly found that the days where there isn't much to do, I find myself dwelling too much. Xx

@Amanda81 - it's such lovely news. I completely understand about being cautious as a protective mechanism and guess I'd be the same if I were you but I genuinely am keeping everything crossed for you.

No follow up, chucked me out of surgery, discharged me and sent me on my miserable way. It'll be 4 weeks tomorrow since the MVA and it's 11 weeks since my ERPC. I guess if I don't get anything in 2 weeks I'm going to call up the EPU and see if they'll see me. I haven't been living in my house this whole time due to renovations but we're back there soon and my local GP was incredibly supportive when this first happened. If EPU no good I'll try and see him again and see what he says. I just want my period so badly!

Hope everyone enjoying the lush bank holiday weather. I'm off to finish the last of the Easter eggs. Clean slate tomorrow?! X

@sarmum14 I have a feeling the GP can possibly give you something to induce a period. I'm not sure how long you have to wait for them to prescribe something. My plan if I haven't ovulated in a couple of weeks is to ask the GP what they can do. I have a bloated belly and all the signs O has happened even though I know it hasn't. It's just like when I was in my 20s and my pcos was bad. It's just so miserable waiting. Anovulatory cycles are the worst for this apparently. I might get a 20 pack of digital Opks and just do them each day. If I don't get get a peak again (I got one a couple of weeks ago that came to nothing) then it's clearly not happening. If I do I might just dtd that night. We're getting so tired of dtd every other day. Xx

Thanks @3204ECL and @AnnaMC214 I'm going to make more of an effort tomorrow. I'm doing yoga most days. I love swimming but such a time consuming activity as we don't live anywhere near a pool. My DH set up my bike on a stationary stand so might start biking tomorrow.

The anticipation in this cycle has really got me now. I'm going to use digital opks I think until I peak and just dtd on peak and hope I O. We can't go on like this! Xx

Good evening ladies, in other news I have another peak Opk! Definitely a WTF cycle. It's just typical as DH has sperm analysis tomorrow so we can't dtd. I knew this would happen. I'm guessing if we do it when he's back from appointment the second specimen of the day might be a bit weak. I'm so pleased we did it yesterday now just in case as I guess we have a bit of a chance. Xx

@Catconfusion I have everything crossed for you that this is it! Annoying about the timing but when I got my bfp we dtd 2 days before I got a positive opk. xx

Thanks @AnnaMC214 I think my first bfp was two days after dtd. I know it's still completely possible and I'm just glad DH is getting his SA. It's funny how typical this is though. I really hope this is it too.

Annoyingly I just ordered digital opks. Is it even worth starting tomorrow since I caught a peak on a cheapie? Xx

Have fallen down a rabbit hole and can't stop reading about Asherman's syndrome and have convinced myself that I have it. Cramping is seriously bad and not a tiny clot or bleeding yet. My period was never like this before. I'm in so much pain. Please please please be AF. I'm having the worst luck so really do believe I could be unlucky enough to have AS.

@sarmum14 I'm so so sorry you're having such a horrible time of it. I know you're probably feeling like the universe has it in for you at the moment but, take it from someone who knows, you must step away from Google! No good can come from researching such things. I really hope af turns up for you but if not could you call the nice GP you talked about? Sending you hugs xx

I'm sorry @sarmum14 that you're mind is going there. I would be concerned too despite how rare it is. I don't know much about AS as my DH stopped me googling before my ERPC but I really hope it's just AF. Chances are it is. I would take some pain killers and try and get some sleep. Sometimes things seem better in the morning after some rest. We're all here to talk to tomorrow. Definitely speak to your GP or EPU if you're not coping with the pain or are still concerned! Thinking of you xx

Hey @sarmum14 - totally agree with @AnnaMC214 and @Catconfusion step away from google. You've had a bad run of it, but AS is so very rare. If you are still in so much pain tomorrow or if it gets too unbearable, call your GP, 111 or visit the ER. You only know how much pain you can bear. My thoughts are with you lovely and try to get some rest xx

I really hope this is O @Catconfusion - you've also been through the ttc hoops and you need a break from monitoring the concealed goings on in our body. Be kind to yourself if the signs tomorrow/day after don't confirm O. I really hope it is though xx

@sarmum14 so sorry you are feeling like this and I can only echo what the other ladies have said, definitely step away from google! Hope the cramps are less severe and you've at least managed to get some rest overnight. Thinking of you x

@Catconfusion looks like a good stick to me! Fingers crossed for you! I've had a peak reading this morning as well 🤗 x

Thanks @AnnaMC214 @Catconfusion @Amanda81 @3204ECL - you are all right. Dr Google is the worst! I think I just feel a bit paranoid because I've had the worst luck with MMC, ERPC, medical management and then an MVA. All in all this process started over 12 weeks for me and initially DH and I were TTC the whole time as desperate to be pregnancy again. Before I knew I needed the MVA we decided to wait until first AF because we just wanted my body to heal and also saw what had happened to so many of you lovely ladies with first pregnancy after surgery and all the questions around thickness of lining.

I've woken up to lighter cramps and still no AF. Panic bought some super strength Evening Primrose Oil on amazon prime last night so hoping that'll help hurry things along. Also going to call lovely GP and see if he can help at all. I know they can give progesterone to hurry it along but wonder if that'll mess my body up more and I just need to get there myself in order to heal? Might call EPU also.

Congrats on peak @Catconfusion! With this pregnancy DH and I DTD two days before O so it is all totally positive I think. Keep us posted.

How's everyone else today? I'm thrilled that it's not a Monday!

X

Thanks @Amanda81 and @3204ECL I got a little more of a rise today. I don't really trust opks now but this one was definitely more positive than the last positive I had. I'd expect O to be today if it's going to happen. Hopefully a rise tomorrow or the day after. Fingers crossed for you too @3204ECL xx

@sarmum14 I'm not sure if it's relevant but my period started with huge cramps this time, I'm one cycle from my last miscarriage! The pain work me up and DH had to get me a hot water bottle and pain killers!

My clear blue kit has arrived so I am going to start that soon even though according to my cycle I should wait another week! The first time I got pregnant it happened very early on in my cycle! Xx

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven’t had time catch up whilst on vacation. I failed O twice and now on CD22 with no temp rise just a lot of drops.