First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

*you a speedy physical recovery. The emotional side of things will take longer, but please do message/rant/share with us as we're all here to support you ❤️ xxx

@Rainbow8bubbles I couldn't agree more. I think there should be an appointment with a grievance midwife to make sure we're mentally and emotionally ok. Considering 30% of ladies who miscarry develop ptsd. Xx

@LMLP91 glad you're getting on well with the temping. Xx

@sadtoday21 I completely understand. I remember feeling old at 25. Now it seems crazy. Time does sneak up on you and unfortunately ttc is often a lengthy process so I think you're right to be cautious and prioritise it as your are. There was however no way for you to know it would be like this so try not to regret the past. You had your reasons for waiting.

In some respects I am lucky DH and I met so late because we tried as soon as we could but hopefully it's not too late. Xx

Hi ladies! Went in today for my first tablet and to be honest I’m not sure what it’s supposed to do! In for the second one on Friday and I’m kept in to pass the pregnancy in hospital. Have any of you done this procedure and if so any advice on what to do whilst I’m being kept in all day to make it any easier?

Have to say the NHS have been great to me in terms of reassuring me not to let this deter me from having a child and trying again. They assured me how common it is and I left feeling a lot better I have to say!

@Kiki061190 I'm so glad you're feeling a bit more reassured now. I'm sorry I had an ERPC so not sure about medical management. At one point I considered this option and was told to bring books/stuff to distract my mind as it can be a long process. Also overnight bag in case I needed to stay in. I know with the surgery I was really glad I took my own maxi pads as the hospital ones weren't nearly as thick. I hope it's as straight forward as possible! I'll be thinking of you on Friday! Xx

@Kiki061190 I had the two tablets put in right before my d&c. After a bit, you start to feel all "tingly" down there and sort of wettish, although I'm not sure what was happening honestly because I was too afraid to look. would definitely bring a book/kindle/music/headphones/iphone/or some other sort of device to watch movies, if you can. I couldn't read much while I was waiting, but it did help to listen to music. Also echo the comments about thick pads - stock up on some at home too - and maybe some snacks. Good luck and I hope all goes well on Friday xxx!

Hi ladies, sorry I've been off the radar work has been ridiculous and just catching up!

@Amanda81 I'm so happy for you, I welled up when I read your message yesterday. So glad little peanut is doing well 😊

@Catconfusion sorry for the BFN... it's such a disappointment. I feel like I've taken 5 steps back since I got mine and have been feeling quite low again. Luckily I've been crazy with work so haven't had too much time to think about it but have been triggered a few times. AF has been unusually bad for me this time as well so no idea what that means! Hope you're doing ok and on to next months for both of us!

@LMLP91welcome to the world of temping! I've found it so helpful over the last month or so, hope you do as well!

@sadtoday21 I'm so sorry you've had such an upsetting time it's such a hard thing and such mixed emotions. One of my best friends is due in about 3 weeks and I'm finding it all very difficult. I should have been not too far behind her but now who knows! It's definitely a trigger for me and I think it will continue to be until I'm pregnant again unfortunately. Just got to put on a brave face and try and be happy for them I guess!

@Kiki061190 so sorry you find yourself here. I hope the medical management is ok. I had planned to take the medical but delayed by a week as I had a holiday booked. I then miscarried naturally the day before I was due to go back.

Hope everyone else is doing ok, roll on the weekend! xxx

Today would have been my 12 week scan.

I'm so sorry @Rainbow8bubbles that was a hard day for me too. Sending hugs! Xx

@3204ECL I'm so sorry you've been feeling low again. I have too. I had an awful day on Tuesday where I pretty much cried all afternoon. Still no AF for me but must be imminent as my mood is improving so hormones must have dropped. Work must be a good distraction. I need to get on it with my business really. My DH has pretty much been supporting me while I recover and I feel guilty. Yet I have poor motivation to get my business on track. I'm trying a bit harder today. I'm fully expecting AF to be bad. I'm not sure what it means. If it's a heavy it's a sign the lining is good. Xx

@Amanda81 how are you feeling today? Has the ms started yet? Hope you are well! Xxx

@3204ECL thanks for your kind words and I’m sorry you are also feeling low about your friend’s baby. It’s so hard isn’t it? Also sorry it’s another bfn month - it really is a terrible feeling. Sending you hugs! 🤗

@rainbow8bubbless I understand how you feel. Every milestone hurts. Hang in there! We are all here for you.

@catconfusion glad to hear your horomones are settling and you are feeling a bit better today. Let’s hope AF comes quickly so you can move on to the next month! Interesting about the lining.

So I’m having a kind of weird day in the temping department. My temp is up a lot suddenly! More than I would think for just a hormone fluctuation, but maybe I’m coming down with something? I’m dpo 14 - what do you guys think?

Oooh @sadtoday21 are you tempted to test? That's a big rise when AF is due. Are you feeling ill? It could be a slight temperature I guess.

Still waiting for AF. Feeling very crampy and can sense it'll be here in the next 24 hours. I'm just deciding whether I need a cycle off temping. Also feeling though if I don't we'll need to dtd a lot to cover all bases. Thinking I could just do it one a week to see if my temps gone up and leave it at that. I just got so distressed last cycle when my temp dropped and had failed ovulations. It ruined my mood for the day. I need to be more productive now with my work so can't afford to keep feeling like that. I have a pack of digital opks so that's an option but worry I'll get false results. I'm going to see what DH thinks later Xx

Thanks @catfonusion, I also think its a big rise for being so close to AF! Although my temps usually do not drop until cd16 - two more days to go. I'm not feeling ill, just a bit tired. I've stopped with the symptom spotting and testing after the bfn on cd11 because it was so clearly negative on an frer and just kind of depressing. I've now convinced myself that AF is on her way in the next 3-4 days, but this temp spike has thrown me off! Don't really want to get my hopes up again though, so I think I will wait until after AF is due before any more testing.

Well, temping doesn't really help with timing dtd anyway pre-O, does it? I think you need to use opks for that. Oh, but I guess you mean to know when you can stop haha. And reading further, I realise the opks don't work very well for you - that's so frustrating! I think you have to do whatever will make you worry about it less - for me, I'd worry more not knowing what is going on then seeing the temp not rising (although it is really stressful to have delayed O, I totally get that). It's a tough call. I know I am going to be all over the opks next cycle though, I've got a whole box saved up! I want to get the timing just right and I'm not sure DH can handle every other day for a whole month! Too much pressure on him to perform and he will know its because of ttc and then feel bad if I get sad over a bfn. So covert temping and opks are in order! Fingers crossed for both of us next cycle xxx.

Ohhhh @sadtoday21 I would be very very tempted to test. But think you're sensible to wait until AF is due...which is difficult to know if you are not certain on your LP. Aren't you clearer on your cycle length? Exciting.

I agreed with @sadtoday21 regarding the temping @Catconfusion - once I started to know where my cycle was at with the temping I found it hard to put it down as it gave me clues as to what was happening. But you have to do what's right for you and DH, if it's stressing you out and affecting your mood then there must be a different way. Sorry to hear that AF is on her way. I've also heard that if you have a heavy bleed this helps with the lining. Perhaps that's why I caught so quick after my last MC, as I don't really have heavy periods.

I'm doing okay. MS is starting to kick in a little bit but it's not horrendous, and I have tender bbs and constantly tired. I've realised yesterday that my next scan date is on my first due date. Not quite sure how I feel about this, and I guess the result of the scan will dictate the mood of the day! DH queried if we should move it, but i think we should plough on. We hadn't planned to mark the day or anything, other than to keep busy and distracted. What would you guys do?

Hope every else is doing okay xx

Just read the posts from yesterday. Sorry to hear you are feeling a little bit bleh at the minute @3204ECL. Work is a good distraction, but I find the low points do creep up on you when you are busy and catch you by surprise. Xx

I guess you have a couple of dots now @LMLP91 - did it go lower or higher? 😂 xx

Not sure I can really help @Kiki061190 - I had an erpc. Thankfully my DH was able to stay with me on the ward, otherwise I would have been bored as sin. The staff are good and do there best tomorrow you from overly worrying. I hope it all goes as well as expected tomorrow xx

Hey @Amanda81 I'm glad the symptoms are there but bearable.

I completely get how temping is useful in a normalish cycle. If I knew I'd ovulate between say day 14 and day 24 for example that's only ten days to wait. It was 36 days in last time with two failed ones. It really stressed me out. My mood was very low and I'm wondering if that contributed to not catching as my cortisol must have been high.

As you say @sadtoday it's such a tough one for me especially with the pcos. I may have a normal cycle next time. Or it may be horrendous again. I just wish I had the stamina to dtd every other day and still enjoy it after 3 weeks.

Ovusense is pretty good in that it predicts when you might ovulate based on temperature flutuations. A blue line comes up showing when it thinks it will happen. It's been right a few times including after the surgery which is amazing with my irregular cycles. Last time it didn't have a hope with my wtf cycle and removed its prediction.

I guess I'm just trying to find a way to avoid the fallout I had last time. Maybe I just go in optimistically on day 10 with Ovusense until day day 21 then if no luck switch to opks. They definitely picked up my actual ovulation but also the two nearly ones. Can I ask what time you all generally test with opks? Xx

Hey @Catconfusion - I used the Clear Blue OPK's advanced which means that you can use fmu. I tried the IC OPK's and they didn't really help. When I got a peak on the CB I would occasionally use an IC in the evening/afternoon. The reason I went with the CB is that I couldn't be bothered with not drinking fluid during the day, for me if I was dehydrated it would result in less EWCM. Xx

@Catconfusion I'm totally the same as @Amanda81 - use the digital CBs in the morning for the same reason (I can't wait four hours without drinking coffee!). I start, somewhat optimistically on cd10, but I never get anything until around cd19. I definitely could start later, but I am paranoid of missing it and as you know FF doesn't predict O at all. My past three O days have been cd19 (before mmc), cd36 (after mmc), cd24 (after cp). So I am really all over the place! Probably for people with longer cycles, starting at cd14 would be fine.

@Amanda81 thanks! I think I'll just wait to see what the temps do tomorrow, despite being tempted to test. If it's still up I might give in, otherwise if it drops I think it is just a fluke thing. I think it's fine to do the scan on your due date - for me, the worst thing is always not knowing (but as an INTJ I need information to analyse and structure!). I would just want the scan as soon as possible to see what is going on, regardless of the date. Anyway, due dates change and your actual due date probably would have been different in the end! I don't even think about the exact date - just that I would have been due in late August. I think this helps because I also don't plan to mark it anyway, besides maybe drowning my sorrows in gin (which you can't!), so definitely if I am pregnant by then I will just do my best to keep calm and carry on. Sending you hugs!

@Amanda81 thanks. Can I ask what happens if you run out and need more or get a peak and it's not a genuine peak? I have a box of 10 but not sure when to start them. Can I buy another box and carry on with them if it doesn't happen?

The cheap ones did work for me with best results early evening time. The day before I ovulated I had a blazing peak! I think you're right though that the digital ones are far easier to do in the morning.

My ovulations so far using Ovusense are:

34, 15, 24, 28, 36

I got pregnant on the 24 and 28 ones. Wasn't trying before then. I do wish we could have tried on the freak day 15 one but just before the honeymoon so would have meant no champagne for me on the QM 2.

It's most likely going to be 3-4 weeks in I guess so maybe starting day 21 if no rise on Ovusense before then!? Xx

Btw @Amanda81 I would keep the scan. It's highly likely to be good news so will put a positive slant on that day hopefully.

In the absolutely unlikely event of it being bad news, I think I'd prefer to keep it on that day so there's not another day that's the anniversary of bad news as well as the due date if you see what I mean. Less difficult days to get through in the future.

You have to do what feels right for you though. Xx

Usually not a sentimental type @sadtoday21 and dates always pass me by without putting much stock in them, but this one has got my focus for some reason. Hopefully it will good news and like @Catconfusion says if it is unfortunate news it's one less day to consider gloomy in the calendar. I will keep as is, thanks for your advice guys xx

I'm probably not the best to ask about running out of OPK's after my faux pas this cycle, this is where I was half way through tracking and ran out. I had ordered a new box which arrived in time, but very stupidly used the new applicator. So don't do this. You can buy news sticks, but these come with a new applicator. Don't use the new applicator until your new cycle. It's never given me a false reading. The think about CB Adv is that it identifies the peak by reading both LH and Oestrogen. You only get your peak when both hormones are read. Very different to other OPK's. Might be worth a try @Catconfusion And you never know it might help with your disobedient cycles. in your case you might be reliant upon Ovusense to give you an indication of your body gearing up to O. However you need to take them early enough for the applicator to detect the change in hormone. So for me, I usually get my surge circa cd15-17, so I start taking them on cd10. The pack advises cd8 for a 28 day cycle. I'm a typical Yorkshire lass and don't like to waste, so quickly realised that I could save 2 OPK's. I think your next cycle will be less up and down xx

Thanks @Amanda81 I did wonder how the extra hormone measurement might affect it. I know it says on the instructions can give unreliable results for pcos but I've never had failed ovulations on a chart apart from the last cycle so I'm hoping you're right and this won't happen again. I'm also on Inositol now so hoping it's regulating things.

I'll make sure I use the same applicator. It's probably not worth starting until day 12 at the very earliest as I probably won't see a rise until at least cycle day 21. It might be worth playing it by ear and using Ovusense for a bit and then starting when my temps start going down.

Ha ha, the Yorkshire mindset is a good one.

Xx

Hello all just looking for a bit of advice/experience. I'm 7 days post ERPC after having a mmc. I got a lighter positive on a pregnancy test yesterday and I know it can take a few weeks to go negative. I'm looking to ttc again this month and have been told I'm okay to do so. I always used temping and opks and was wondering if opks were reliable the cycle immediately after a mc? I never tested one when I was pregnant as I didn't feel the need to and wasn't sure if they would detect the pregnancy hormone.

Hi @Chanel05 it's good to hear from you. I hope the ERPC went as well as expected. It's a good sign you got a fainter line. Mine was negative at 2 and a half weeks and I ovulated a week later confirmed with temping. I didn't use opks but they may be useful for you if you're looking to try again.

As I think I said before several of us on this thread were given the all clear but then had chemical pregnancies. There is an increased risk of another loss (confirmed by a gynae consultant) and this can really mess up you cycle. Of course there are exceptions and you might be lucky. I completely understand wanting to be pregnant again as we've all felt that way.

If you do want to risk it I'd start the opks as soon as you get a negative test. At least then you'll know there's not retained tissue. Ovulation seems to happen soon after a negative.

I hope you continue to recover quickly and get good news soon! Xx

@Chanel05 OPKS do NOT work the first cycle after mc, just so you know. They may work after you have a bfn, but I researched this a lot and most people say they are really inaccurate the first cycle after mc. Hope this helps!

Hello all, just been busily reading and catching up with you all. Hope you're all having good days?

@Amanda81 I now have two dots and the second is marginally higher than the first. Is that what should happen?! I'm so clueless lol! Also, with regards to the scan date, I completely agree with what the other girls have said. Fingers (and toes) crossed that a former day of sadness can become a day of joy and hope and happiness. Which I'm sure it will ❤️

We've almost made it to Friday...!!

Xxx

Hey @LMLP91 - exciting! If I recall correctly your AF finished at the weekend (sorry if I have got this wrong), so are you somewhere between cd7 and cd10? What are your usual cycle lengths? When you get closer to O you should start to see a gradual decline in the temps xx