First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

Thanks @AnnaMC214 - it was relief to see a pulsing on the screen. It's so hard with the weight gain after MC, I struggled with motivation to do anything about it and look back with a bit of regret. Motivation came in waves, very small waves 🙄 try not to beat yourself up about it, it will shift in time xx

That's lovely @sadtoday21, nice to hear that peeps are routing for you. i did ask was it another one and she replied i will let you know in 2 weeks. It was quite a long scan as she had to go internal and think she was running out of time. My HCG results are quite high, so you never know. I was more worried about a bruising within the uterus, I think they call this a haematoma which can bleed. It could have also been my uterus wall when she added pressure. She didn't seem worried.

My dates are all over the place. As early scans are not for dating purposes she couldn't really date me, other then say I'm in my 6th week. Hopefully I will get some indication on the next one. Apparently it should grow 1mm a day, so hoping that it's 19mm in two weeks - next scan is on the 21st. Fingers crossed I can get there xx

So pleased the SA sample has been found @Catconfusion. Fingers crossed it is good news xx

So sorry for your loss @Kiki061190 And that you find yourself on this thread. Although it's a club I never wanted to be part of, this group of ladies have seen me through some dark days and continue to support me. I hope your recovery is quick, but do allow yourself sometime to grieve. i had an ERPC following my 12 week scan, HB had stopped and baby measured 10+1. I bled heavily for a couple of days (but not soaking pads) and then it was brown spotting for a week after. The days take forever, so even though it was only a week afterwards, it felt like a month. I ovulated approx 3 weeks after surgery and got my first AF 5 weeks after surgery - so lucky to get it back quickly. One thing I would say is that after the operation I was ultra sensitive down there and felt every twinge (still do) which can be unnerving. I hope it all goes well on Friday. Sending hugs xx

I feel wierd today. Like overly hormonal and emotional. I payed for my memorial tattoo today I'm going for it Thursday. I'm getting a pink balloon and hubby is getting an orange balloon with name in string. I have the emotions from the grief and leftover from the pregnancy and ovulation all in one. Now have headache

Urgh talk about annoying. The hpts I ordered said test 4 days early so I thought just about as sensitive as FRER. I just read the instructions and turns out only accurate one day after missed period. The description doesn't match the product. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant but it's thrown things up in the air again. Xx

I'm sorry @Rainbow8bubbles it's so hard in the early days when emotions are running high on so many respects. I hope you both get some comfort from the tattoos. Xx

@Amanda81 that's amazing news! I'm so happy for you 🎉🌈 fingers crossed for some positivity for us all now 🤞🏼

@Catconfusion sorry you're a bit up in the air with it all again...how annoying! Can you hold off a couple days and retest? Try not to lose hope just yet.

My fermometer arrived today and DP is sitting with me (hopefully) setting it all up for me...it looks very technical to me lol!

Hope you all had good days.
Xxx

Hey @LMLP91 - thanks. Next milestone is two weeks away...one step at a time.

I use the Femometer, and I am no good with anything technical. I find it so very easy and have been using it since December last year. I hope you get some good data out of it. When will you start temping? Xx

Keeping everything crossed for you @Amanda81 🤞🏼 hopefully the next two weeks will fly by for you!

So AF finished on Sunday, so I was thinking to start tomorrow morning when DP gets up for work...around 6am. Is that okay do you think? Am I right in thinking that you shouldn't move/talk until you've taken your temp? I've also downloaded the FF app as well as Femometer as per @Catconfusion 's advice. Looking forward to getting the ball rolling!
Xxx

Yeah, definitely start tomorrow. They say not to talk or drink before taking your temp so that you get the most realisable reading. When you sync your device with the app, the lid needs to off. Once I see the temp in the app I insert into FF as I didn't get on with the app - doesn't give much in terms of info. Looking forward to seeing how you get on and if you find it useful with confirming when you O. Xx

Thanks ladies! How long did you take off work after your miscarriage to recover? I work in quite a busy bank and I’m a little unsure. I’m off this week for hospital appointments and in on Friday for the tablets so I don’t think I’ll be ready to head back in Monday?

That's really helpful thanks @Amanda81 👍🏼 I'll keep you all posted with how I get on! How are you and DH feeling this evening? Have you managed to process everything? Xxx

Everyone is different @Kiki061190 and you will only know how ready you are. I have my own business and didn't take much time out, but did cancel all meetings for a week after the surgery, but worked in the office during this week. My op was on a Friday so had the weekend to digest what had happened xx

Not quite processed yet @LMLP91 - we are trying to take it a day at a time and keep quite level headed about. I guess you could describe us as quietly optimistic. As soon as I think to far ahead I get a little overwhelmed xx

Thanks @Amanda81 - my motivation is generally more like tiny ripples 😂

@LMLP91 how exciting that you have your femometer now! I second what the others have said and also I find it can feel like ages before you hear the 3 beeps to say it's taken the temp so don't give up and think it's not working. Happy temping 😊

@Rainbow8bubbles I'm sorry it's been a particularly bad day today. It's a lot of a emotion to handle as well as crazy hormones. You'll probably find it comes in waves but I promise that gradually you'll have more good days than bad. It just takes time. The tattoos are a lovely idea.

@Kiki061190 I had a week between the scan and my surgery and didn't go back into work in between. The hospital then signed me off for another week. The first day back was tough but physically I was just about ok. It really does depend on the individual though. Give yourself as much time as you need.

@Kiki061190 I was signed off work for two weeks, but I went back after one. I also travelled about 2 days after the op on a 2 hour plane ride. Physically, it is all doable, but mentally not so much. I was miserable on my trip and cried a lot. Meant to tell you that it took me 3 weeks to get a bfn, then I O'd exactly 2 weeks after that. Everyone is different, but I would expect to wait a bit at least.

@AnnaMC214 thanks for asking after me! I am doing ok I guess, just feel a bit numb now that I know there is nothing to hope for and nothing to fear either. I'm 12 dpo, so I think I have at least four more days to go before I see any AF action or temps dropping. It feels like forever! You were so lucky to O right after the bfn, you did a week sooner than me! Now we are almost cycle buddies :). Sorry to hear about that you are not feeling at your best - I felt like that too for months after the mmc and not started feeling "sexy" again until just recently tbh. It takes time, sigh. For me, the weight was also in my middle, but it left as soon as the hormones did. It was so weird because I usually carry more weight in my lower half than upper, but as soon as I got pregnant it all shifted to my hips/abs and I lost my butt and got skinny legs! I was elated, honestly, because (after being pregnant) my other secret wish is to have super model legs! Nowhere near that level, of course, but it was nice not to have to worry about expanding thighs, even though I worried about everything else (hair loss, terrible skin issues). Anyway, for some reason this pattern has stuck with me post-mmc/mc so now I seem to carry more weight in upper half than lower. I find it really odd. I also have zero motivation to work out or eat healthily given all the stress that I've been under. The best thing to do, imho, is to go keto (zero noodles!) and do intermittent fasting to drop the weight fast and then just enjoy life by eating a balanced diet with 1-2 cheat days a week. And, no matter what you do, do not give up wine! You will need it. Trust.

@Rainbow8bubbles I love the idea of the tattoos and I'm so sorry you are having a rough day. Mood swings are totally normal - hormones! I was crying and really moody for a long time after my d&c. Just take it easy on yourself and come here when you need to vent. Sending hugs!

@Amanda81 sounds like the best way to handle everything whilst trying to stay as calm as possible. I can imagine it all feels very overwhelming at times, but remember you've always got us to talk things through with and have a good old rant with!

@AnnaMC214 thank you for the advice lovely. I'm hoping just to have a bit more insight into my body and what might be going on month by month. I feel like I've given my mind enough time to come to terms with everything and reach a place where I can rationally start keeping track without becoming too bogged down by it all...well I hope!! You ladies will all have to help me understand what the charts are saying too as it's all a bit mad looking to me!

@sadtoday21 hang in there, soon you will have the results and the ability to know that you are moving forwards with a clean bill of health and a blank slate. Just be kind to yourself and see this month as a positive step forwards.

Xxx

Thanks @LMLP91 you are right and it helps to hear someone else say so! I meant to say earlier that I also use/love femometer with the FF app and I'm happy to help as well. I think you should do a test run tonight just to learn how it works and practice holding it in the right place - but ignore the temp reading of course! As @AnnaMC214 says, it takes forever the first time to get the three beeps.

Also, this is unrelated, but an issue of critical importance. How can I watch the latest season of GOT for free???! Possible?

@Kiki061190 I ended up having 7 weeks off work in total from finding out about my mmc at the end of Nov last year. I work in a family centre so am always surrounded by antenatal women, midwives, babies and children and I honestly couldn't face stepping foot anywhere near work until I was emotionally ready. Physically, I bled following the surgery for around 2 weeks which luckily stopped just before Christmas, and then I got my first AF at the beginning of January. As the others have said, every woman is different, but just be prepared for the emotional healing to take much longer than the physical. Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need. Please know that it will get better ❤️

Ah @LMLP91 my AF finished at the weekend too so we’ll be cycle buddies, good luck with your Fermometer this will be my first full cycle using it, so excited to see a change in temperatures! 🤓

Ooh @bananamonkey that's exciting! Just had a test-run with the fermometer, you're all right - 3 minutes feels like a lifetime when you're waiting for those beeps! I'll start properly from tomorrow morning and input my temps into FF. Hoping something good can come from all this 🤞🏼 xxx

@sadtoday21 I know it must feel like relentless stretches of waiting but you are so strong and so nearly there now. Once af is here it's a fresh new start full of possibility again.

It astounds me how many different ways the hormones can effect us. I'm still losing hair at an alarming rate but at least my skin seems to be clearing up. I think you're right that it might be best to go hardcore with the diet for a bit as damage control! 😂 I'm definitely making the most of the wine for now until I'm not allowed it again.

@LMLP91 I've personally found it a comfort to know a little bit what's going on in there. I would have found this waiting for af much harder if I didn't know that I've at least ovulated. I'm yet to temp when ttc though so not sure if it'll make me crazy 😂 We'll just have to see how we go I guess.

Well, I finally worked up the courage today to wish my best friend well and she responded with tons of photos of her newly born baby. This is the friend that planned to get pregnant around the same time as me. I knew the baby was probably already here when I messaged her, so I was mentally prepared for the photos, but I really almost cried when I saw them! I am so so happy for her and also so devastated. It's hard sometimes to not feel like everyone else has an easy time with pregnancy and that there is just something wrong with me :(.

I’m sorry you got upset @sadtoday21 but you were so brave to message her, it’s ok to be happy for someone else but devastated for yourself at the same time I am always thinking that everyone else has an easy time of it and it’s just me, even though I know that’s not really true, friends of mine have had MCs, IVF or been trying for years but it’s so easy just to focus on the lucky ones, they don’t know how lucky they are.

I'm so sorry @sadtoday21 It's completely understandable to feel this way. We've all been there. I guess anyone trying to conceive has the risk of a loss. It's really like rolling a dice and miscarriage being a six. Just because you rolled a six (albeit a very rare form of 6 with the pmp) it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Says she who spent the whole of yesterday afternoon in tears thinking there's something wrong with her. There's probably not anything wrong with any of us.

Those of us over 35 and approaching 40 may have an extra 6 on our dice. You are younger so it's maybe even a bit more likely your next pregnancy will be normal. I know being young isn't much of a consolation after all you've been through but it really does bode well.

I think it took a lot of guts to message your friend and I bet she really appreciates it after all you've been through. Of course I get pangs of jealousy when I think of my friends and their babies but being a new mum can be terrifying. I try and be kind to them if I can even if it's just a quick message Xx

Thanks @bananamonkey and @catconfusion, your messages meant a lot to me! It's really comforting to know that other people understand what you are going through, even if mmc feels lonely sometimes. I don't know what I would do without you guys, honestly! You have helped me cope through the worst times, just knowing that I can come here and vent or seek advice without any judgment.

It's so easy to think something is wrong with us, even though it probably isn't. You are right @catconfusion, I do feel very thankful to still only be 31 (although 32 is sneaking up on me!), but I still wish I started earlier. I want at least two, maybe three, and now I realise what a really long process it can be. Before the mmc I naively thought I could just pop them out on demand! Anyway, I congratulated my friend and sent her lots of love and I feel better now and was able to look at the photos and share them with DH. My friend was also really kind and understanding about it and said she didn't send photos earlier because she was trying to be delicate about my mmc. So, all in all, I feel a lot better now. Thank you guys xxx.

In other news, there is still no news. Am I crazy for looking at my FF chart a thousand times a day, even though I know it is not going to change? I think I will have to wait until Saturday for a temp drop to appear, if the last cycle is any guide. Just three more days. How is the temping going for you @LMLP91?

ANGRY RANT ALERT

I find it disgusting that I was just left to deliver at home on my own and no one needs to check on me or anything. The amount of people who lose babies and nothing is done we are just left I think it's bad practice. I'm sorry I'm new to this and angry today

@sadtoday21 so I had a practice to with the thermometer last night as per the advice given on here and then I woke up at 6 and took my temp, also logging it on FF. At the moment there's just a little lonely blue dot lol!

@Rainbow8bubbles so sorry you're having such a horrible time with it all. I agree there isn't nearly enough support available throughout the whole process. We're all here for you and wish y