First Pregnancy Missed Miscarriage

[sadtoday21]

Hi ladies! Our last thread was automatically closed because we reached the 1,000 post limit. I was hoping we would be able to start a new thread called First Pregnancy Post-MMC, but unfortunately we are not quite there yet. I know we will be someday soon! In the meantime, I hope you will all join me on here as we continue on this journey together. You have all been an invaluable source of inspiration, support, and kindness for me and I want to thank you for making me feel less alone in this.

About me, for any newcomers: First MMC in February at 12 weeks (baby passed at nine), D&C the next day, found out five weeks later that it was a partial molar pregnancy and currently undergoing follow-up with CX. Second early mc in April. Now impatiently waiting to be cleared from CX before ttc again.

Thanks @3204ECL it's just a relief my body pulled a late O out of the bag. I'm feeling very proud of my lady parts today. She's putting up a good fight and wants this baby as much as I do. I'm going to stop the temping and obsessing after tomorrow (should get a confirmation then) and just look after myself. I will be of course drinking pineapple juice and cutting the caffeine etc but providing self care for both outcomes! I will not be too disappointed if AF comes! Xx

@LMLP91 I think you're completely right about social media. It's so easy to become so invested in other people's lives we lose sight of our own. You've inspired me to delete social media apps during my two week wait. I want to be my strongest right now and am fed up with people posting stuff without consideration for others.

Your BiL's girlfriend sounds delightful! It's sad really as probably a cry for help. I'm so glad dps parents are praising you. You've done so well in such a traumatic situation. Staying away from bullshit is so important.

I think having anti-role models is good to gain a sense of who we want to be compared to them. We are all however old and wise enough to have encountered these people in life. We don't need to see them in their glory every day as it makes us cross more than anything. Xx

So pleased for you @Catconfusion - well done for sticking with it! Let's see what the tww brings!

I'm the same with social media, totally stay away from it...I've never been one to take a selfie and then feel the need to share with all my FB friends. It's weird what social media has done to the world and how we interact with people we once new, where in actual fact we don't really know than anymore, yet feel the need to update them on how well we are doing. You never really see a post on how bad people are feeling unless it's one of those copy and pastes post.

I'm not having a good day today. Feeling like this one is over. I've had a temp drop, a drop which was similar in pattern to the last MC and significant enough to suggest something bad, and my symptoms have reduced. I know it's all a waiting game and I will need to see what the next few days brings, but feeling a little glum. I've got to go out and do a survey this morning and really can't be arsed. Just want to cry 😭/ this shit isn't easy. Sorry for bringing a downer to the morning posting xx

Thanks @Amanda81 it's certainly been a marathon.

I'm so so sorry, it's so hard going through this process of waiting and trying to figure it all out. I've got everything crossed your temp springs up again. Will you keep temping or do you feel not knowing will make it feel worse? Would you brave another FRER? This is so unfair and I wish I could say something that would help. I wish you could stay in and just practice self care today. It's not likely anything will take your mind off it until you know what's going on.

You're one of the most positive people I've met on here and I have to say I've been envious of your strength and mindset. The way you're feeling today just shows how soul destroying this process is.

I really hope you're wrong and it's not what you think. Don't give up hope just yet and keep us posted as you know we'll help in any way we can! I'll be thinking of you today and sending as much positivity your way as I can! Xx

Aww thanks @Catconfusion - I think not temping would drive me insane, it would be the not knowing. I was thinking of doing another frer, but not sure. I would need to go out and buy some, I will see how I feel whilst I am out surveying. I did however think before I got this BFP that I wouldn't retest as last time my temps and body gave me all the hints I needed. I guess, if it is going to happen, I would rather it happened earlier than later so that my hopes wouldn't get too dashed. I will be in touch later today, with perhaps the results from a frer???? I wish I didn't feel so cranky xxx

Then @Amanda81 keep with the temping at least if you feel it helps just to know and keep an eye on the pattern. I'm going to stop mine after I get confirmation of O tomorrow as it turns me into a crazy person. It's a bit different for me though as the sensor is internal so wanting to prevent an infection is another reason.

I think maybe see how you feel later then. It all depends if you want to know today. Not that it's guaranteed it'll be clear from the FRER. Like you say it might make it easier knowing now if it is bad news. You might however get a much darker line and know all is well. I really hope it works out for you.

Take care today and we're all here if you need us! Xx

@Catconfusion congrats on the big O! Fx for you everything keeps moving in the right direction.

I don't think I was grateful enough for the first pregnancy. I thought a lot about how life would be affected by a little person and I wasn't sure I was ready for it. Knowing what I know now about how complicated this can all get, you can be sure that if it ever happens again, I won't take it for granted.

Another baby bomb this morning.

Managed to get a GP appointment for 5.30 today. Wish me luck!

@Amanda81 I'm so sorry to hear about the temp drop. I'll be thinking of you today and really hoping for the best. Take care of yourself. xx

Thanks @zoomies1

It's so hard to know and understand how vulnerable pregnancy can be until loss. I still believe a healthy embryo will find a way to come into the world. We've all been so unlucky.

Good luck with the GP. Did you have a surgery, sorry I can't remember? If you did ask for lab results. Also see if you can have thyroid, vitamin d and blood count checked plus anything else your GP can think of.

I'll be thinking of you at 5.30! Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion I’m so pleased you finally got the temp rise and confirmed O! Now I know exactly how desperate you were feeling before - I’m also about to give up hope on CD24 and this chart is terrible! What do you guys think?

@Amanda81 I’m so sorry to hear about the temp drop, thats so terrible to see and must have been a bit shocking. I hope that it’s just a one-off and tomorrow brings the high temps back. If it were me, I’d probably take answers frer too and keep temping. I hate this so much!! I remember how exciting and disappointing the early loss was last time and I really really hope you don’t have to go through that again. As others have said, you are one of the strongest ladies on here and an inspiration for all of us. Let us know how you get on today! Sending you light and love xxx.

@zoomies good luck with the gp today!

Hey @sadtoday21 how was your holiday? Not terrible but understandable. Your body has tried once by the looks of it. Please don't let it get to you as I did. I missed out on so much life by feeling sad and hopeless and my body got there eventually. Just assume your body will try again and keep busy. Also let us know about the test results xx

@sadtoday21 I knew hair loss was a thing after giving birth but didn't know it happened after miscarriage. It's disconcerting so nice to know it's quite normal. I'm sorry your temps still aren't playing ball.

@Catconfusion I'm so so happy for you that you finally have O confirmed and that time of frustrating uncertainty is over. Lots of luck for the tww.

@Amanda81 I'm so sorry that you're having such a scary time of it. If I've learnt anything from all of this it's that it's so hard to really tell what's going on or what's going to happen so don't give up hope. I totally understand wanting to hide at home but I personally dwell far too much given the opportunity. Sending you hugs xx

@zoomies1 lots of luck for your appointment today x

Thanks @AnnaMC214 I will step away from the charts when I get a firm confirmation tomorrow from Ovusense. Just want to refocus on spending time with DH and put it out of my mind as much as possible for the ten days before I test. Xx

@Catconfusion it was great to get away, even just for a short time! Was very relaxing and great to reconnect with DH. Did you research delayed O after chemical pregnancy by any chance? I'm wondering if this is because of the early mc. Also, do you think I failed O once or twice, judging from the chart? I can't tell what is going on, like @AnnaMC214 said, but I did have a lot more EWCM this morning, so my body is clearly trying to do something.

I agree with you about trying not to track too much during the tww - although it is hard! I think I would rather just see AF than see a bfp/bfn back to back. Although it's also nice to know what the temps are doing and to have some warning, so I don't know, we will see.

Feeling a bit anxious today about the second round of test results. Thanks for thinking of me!! xxx

In my opinion the series of rises starting on the 17th looks like your body tried as it came down in steps. I think the second one is a hormone fluctuation. I'm not an expert just my opinion as if it were my chart.

I haven't looked into delayed ovulation because I assumed it was my pcos. I do however think based on you and @bananamonkey having a delay it makes sense. Try not to worry. I know it's tough and I'm one to talk but chances are you will get that rise. I did read somewhere it can take 7 days after a failed ovulation to go again. On my chart it was 9 days. Between each attempt and then the successful one.

Good luck with the test results. I know you're bound to be anxious but I have a good feeling! Xx

You lot are just ruddy wonderful. I know I have said it before, but I will say it again, I would be totally lost if it wasn't for the love and support I get from each and every one of you. Thank you for your kind words and well wishes today, it's been very helpful to reread them all now that I am back at home with a cuppa.

I did another FRER and I got a very healthy line, a line stronger than the control line, which has eased my fears a little. I have ordered some more so that they arrive tomorrow so I will take on Saturday/Sunday morning. I've never bought a HPT from a shop before, who knew they would be that expensive! They are so much cheaper on amazon. Anyway, I have attached a photo of the test.

I am really sorry for flipping out this morning, it's not usually my style. Obviously this pregnancy is playing with my mental health and I let it override my usual calm persona. I thank you all again xx 😘 😘

I really don't know what to say about your cycle @sadtoday21 - other than repeat what @Catconfusion has said. It's a shame that this cycle is a little chaotic as it would have been nice to have a steady flow of it so that you had some hints for the next cycle, when hopefully you are back on the wagon again xx good luck for your result...I'm sending you lots of positive vibes for a big 0 xx

Good luck today @zoomies1 - I will be thinking of you. Let us know how you get on xx

Love and hugs to all xx

Hey @Amanda81 don't be sorry as it's to be expected to flip out a bit. Wow I don't think I've seen a FRER as strong as that. I'm so relieved for you. I wouldn't have thought you'd get another temp drop with such a strong line 🙂.

You are more than welcome for the kind words. You've been a great support to us all as well. This thread is such a friendly and safe place. I'm so glad you started this @sadtoday21 I'll always be grateful.

FRERs are ridiculously expensive in the shops. It's a good plan I think to do the tests over the weekend so combined with your temps you'll know what's going on. I'd be very surprised if any thing sinister happens with a blindingly positive test like that. Now you can hopefully breath a bit and relax! Xx

That's an amazingly strong line @Amanda81!! Looks great :). Maybe the temp drop was just due to a change in weather or sleeping patterns. I completely agree with @Catconfusion that there is no need to apologise whatsoever - it is perfectly normal to feel anxious and we all understand that so so well. I'm so relieved for you and hoping that you have a sweet little December baby. It's so hard after our mmc/mcs to think positively and hope, but this will happen for you and for all of us, I know it. If we were friends in RL, I would give you a big hug right now!

I have some good news too finally. Latest test results from last week indicate a blood level of 2 hcg and urine level of 4 hcg. This is finally negative!!!! My next (and hopefully last) urine sample is due on 16 May. I will call for results a few days after that and if that is all clear we can ttc again just in time for O in late May. I'm already counting on a January baby even though I know that is ridiculous! The process of ttc is so up and down, but at least there is always some hope at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

OMG 😮 so very happy for you @sadtoday21! Congratulations!!! It's been a long old journey for you, but now you can finally start to look progressively forward...watch out May...here she comes 😂😂😘

Amazing @sadtoday21 I'm so pleased after all you've been through. May is going to be your month!

It's happy news all around on here today! Xx

@Amanda81 wow that is such a lovely strong line! I'm glad you're feeling more like your positive self again. Don't ever feel like you need to apologise for expressing how you're feeling. That's what we're here for. To comfort and support eachother through all of this. xx

@sadtoday21 I'm so happy for you that you've finally got that result and can start to move forward. It must be such a massive relief and you so deserve it. xx

I'm going to quote the article I posted yesterday as I've been repeating it to myself like a mantra.

"The unknown is a scary place, but it's also where hope and possibility live."

Great news on your test @sadtoday21!

Hope you’re feeling reassured now @Amanda81

Loving all the positivity! How was your appointment @zoomies1?

Thanks for that article @AnnaMC214 it articulated so much of what we’ve been through, have found the solidarity really comforting.

How’s everyone else? Sorry it’s really hard to remember and type all the individual usernames scrolling on my phone 🙈

Love that quote @AnnaMC214 - thanks for sharing xx

I love that quote @AnnaMC214! How are you doing today? How many more days until you test again for the bfn? Hope you are well xxx.

Any update on your wtf cycle @bananamonkey? I hope you get some clarity on it soon!

It's so wonderful to finally have some good news on this thread, I really hope we get more soon. For some reason it feels like a victory every time we each overcome some obstacle on this ttc journey and it's also really comforting to know that you all are just a click away if something bad happens too. You guys get it - and I'm so grateful for that!

@Amanda81 that test looks wonderful 🤗

@sadtoday21 amazing news on the results!! You must be so relieved that this part of the journey is over and you can start moving forward. How are you feeling about it all?

How is everyone else doing? Doesn't this week feel like the longest ever?! We've nearly made it to the weekend!

I've just had o confirmed! Since o the slight brown spotting I've had since last AF seems to have stopped as well which is a relief. I had booked a doctors appointment next week to go and talk to them about it as I was starting to get a bit concerned but think you were right @Amanda81 perhaps my cervix hadn't closed properly since the MMC. X