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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

What happens when a pregnancy has ended but miscarriage is yet to happen?

266 replies

MrsBobDylan · 01/12/2016 22:02

Hi, am 8 weeks but a scan has shown that heartbeat is just a flicker and measurements are way out for the number of weeks. I have a scan on Monday and expect to find the pregnancy is finished.

However, all the pregnancy symptoms are still there so think I will need some kind of medical help to end it.

Would anyone mind sharing what my options would be and how it might work please?

I thought all would be ok at my last scan but now I know it's not I just want to prepare for the next stage. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Hulaballoo · 19/12/2016 08:02

Thank you all for sharing your experiences, it really is invaluable to know the different possibilities and how even the same method could be different for someone else. I have my scan with the NHS today just after lunch to confirm my private scan findings. I think my body is trying to hold on which is frustrating in some ways, my boobs have started hurting again and have been nauseous. I think my gut instinct kicked in but had it not I probably wouldn't have discovered until 12w+ so I'm happy I went for the early scan. Just waiting now for it all to begin, just annoying that it's all around Christmas, with so many family visits planned etc.... I hope you're all doing as best you can, thinking of you all, sending lots of love xxx

Littlemisssugarplum88 · 19/12/2016 08:14

Sending you lots of hugs Hula. Be brave (as hard as it is). We're all thinking of you xxx

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 09:54

Will be thinking of you today Hula stay strong. It really is the worst. I've still got a while to wait for my scan and it's killing me. I hate that some days I actually have hope it might be OK!

Thanks to everyone who has shared their experiences, it's so incredibly helpful and I think I'm going to be able to deal with it a bit better now, whichever way I choose. It's so good to know there is somewhere like this to come for support/venting/advice as it's such a rollercoaster time. I just feel completely meh and indifferent to everything at the moment, totally without purpose.

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 09:56

I think I'm finding it harder because my gut instinct hadn't kicked in and I still don't feel like I 'know' if that makes sense, made worse by all my pregnancy symptoms getting stronger this week. Life is cruel sometimes!

Check in with us later if you can Hula you'll be in my thoughts x

BeamReach · 19/12/2016 11:30

I hope you come out with a clear plan Hula. At least. Let us know how it goes....

I have started spotting this morning. No real cramping. Scan with EPAU tommorrow morning, could all be over by then??

Contemplating calling them to see if they will see me today?

Thank you for sharing your existence Miami. One of my worries is not knowing when it will be "safe" to start the journey to my parents for Xmas (planned for Friday).... It is 2 hours drive.... Although I won't be driving.

Hula...I am so sorry you still have pregnancy symptoms. Apart from a little passing nausea I have none at all (my skin which was gorgeously clear since missed period is now back in its usually slightly grumbly state). Had headache this morning similar to the one I got when bHCG must have been rising....

My Thoughts about surgical managment are wavering now it looks like my bleeding has started

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 11:34

Beam I hope you either manage to get seen or that it's all over with quickly for you and not too physically painful. Will be thinking of you.

I know what you mean about journeying - we are splitting christmas between both sets of parents - at each end of the country! Travelling by train :-/ It's so difficult when it's so unpredictable.

BeamReach · 19/12/2016 13:47

Oh god. Train.

My mum is here. She keeps on insisting I will enjoy Christmas Xmas Confused

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 15:39

ConfusedSad

Hulaballoo · 19/12/2016 15:41

Hi all, well I went for my scan... They had to do an internal scan...i hate those-not comfortable. Turns out baby was only 5 weeks but my bladder was so full as I was expecting an external scan, she couldn't do it for long to find a heartbeat. So as suspected... Definitely not viable, I'm 9 weeks... Not 5 😟 I'm booked in for another scan on 29th to confirm again, then straight after an erpc under general... No other option but that was my preference. Just hope nothing starts before then... Travelling Friday.. Overnight one night. Then home for Christmas.. Then MIL who's like a surrogate mum, I'm not in contact with mine on 27th-28 th, she'll have the girls 29-31 while DH and I go to the hospital etc... At least it's closure physically. Emotionally numb, not sure what to make of it, just all surreal....

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 16:00

:( hula i was really really hoping for good news for you. I'm so sorry. And having to wait again :( I hope you don't mind me asking, are they not 100% if they want to scan you again or is it just procedure?
Hope you're doing as well as you can, you're in my thoughts. I imagine I am going to be in the same position as you in a few days.

Littlemisssugarplum88 · 19/12/2016 16:02

Oh I'm sorry to hear that Hula. It's so much easier when you just know and can then deal with it, but having to keep going back for repeat scans sounds horrendous :( Sending you hugs xxx

Hulaballoo · 19/12/2016 16:44

Thanks rum and littlemiss. It's just procedure for another scan because she couldn't tell if there was a heartbeat or not, and my private scan did an external which isn't as reliable she says and they didn't give me a written report so I need another to fully confirm before the erpc...but it's a certain really because I should be 9 weeks and only measuring 2.5cm, around 5 1/2 weeks.... 😞 she said it's just procedure ☹️ I'm now worried that as I've had an internal scan it may jig things about and start things off before surgery... Boo.

Littlemisssugarplum88 · 19/12/2016 16:49

2.5cm is big for 5 and a half weeks. I only measured 6mm and was told it probably died at 7 weeks xx

Hulaballoo · 19/12/2016 17:00

Maybe it was 2.5mm?

Hulaballoo · 19/12/2016 17:02

I'm stuck on the sofa with my pooch and a roaring fire, I'll check the paperwork in a bit lol... Private scan had a totally different measurement 0.44mm

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 17:11

It's so confusing isn't it? Mine is around 4.3mm I think but the sac looks big, which is what's worried them as I think sac looks like the dates I was expecting whereas embryo doesn't. So mind boggling as if you look online (although don't it makes it even more confusing) sizes seem to vary quite a bit between 6-7 weeks.
Just to reassure you I've had two internals recently and nothing has started off here, so hopefully it will be the same for you too.
I don't know why they didn't get you to go and empty your bladder and come back in :( waiting is such torture.

Fire and pooch sounds comforting though!

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 17:12

Should have added a 'touch wood' when I said that nothing has started off here... never one to tempt fate!

GreedyDuck · 19/12/2016 17:17

Sorry that you are still stuck in limbo hula. My measurements were 3.6mm according to the private scan, and 4.5mm according to the NHS one, which was in line with being 5-6 weeks rather than 8.5.

I have hardly bled at all today (or overnight) and was able to take dp out for a lovely birthday breakfast and to the cinema. I still feel a bit crampy and fragile though and passed some tissue when we got home.

It feels a bit bizarre, I'd geared myself up for something very gory and painful, hence opting for an MVA, and yet it's not even been as bad as a heavy period. I rang the EPU to let them know and free up the MVA slot for some other poor woman, and they asked me to go for a scan tomorrow morning, which is reassuring.

Did feel a bit teary sitting opposite a woman wearing a 'baby on board' badge on the tube, so I think the emotional side will catch up with me eventually. It occurred to me whilst I sat trapped on the loo yesterday that although the knowing/not knowing limbo that the scans put me in was hard at the time, miscarrying with no warning would have been far more upsetting. So that's a small positive I suppose. Hmm

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 17:26

I'm glad you got to do some fun things Greedy it's my DP's birthday tomorrow so I know exactly how you feel.
I hope this is as bad as it gets for you (physically), like you said the emotional fall out is even less easy to predict.

I do like that way of looking at it though, I hadn't even thought about it but you're so right - at least now I'm primed and expecting it rather than going into utter shock if it happened randomly. Have a good evening, I hope you can have a bit of a relax with DP and try to enjoy the rest of his birthday together xx

BeamReach · 19/12/2016 17:32

Oh hula. I am am sorry you have been left waiting... But guess at least you have a date and a "plan" of sorts. I am glad you MIL is supportive.....

You have just reminded me to grab my scan report on the way out the door tommorrow. I really hope they have me pencilled for a theatre slot after I called last week.... But I know too well this is not how the NHS works... At least my cold and blocked nose is on the way out....

Still only spotting and mild cramps here. Going to my counselling appointment in a bit (not specific to this...) will no doubt have a good sob....

Greedy - cinema = excellebt distraction (I saw rogue one yesterday and for 2.5 hours have no thought to my nether regions!)

BeamReach · 19/12/2016 17:34

Rum, I hope you get to do some gentle fun things with DP tommorow

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 18:12

Thanks Beam
Can I ask a maybe TMI question? I'm unsure whether things are starting because of unusual discharge but it's not bloody or pink or anything...white and a little bit mucus/jelly like...

not noticed it before but I'm over analysing everything now!

Littlemisssugarplum88 · 19/12/2016 18:23

I had mucous to begin with (when I first recognised something wasn't quite right) but it was brown in colour. It wasn't until I had the medical management that things properly started to come away from me and it's all just been bleeding, big clots and the pregnancy sac came away from me in one piece :( xx

whyistherumgone · 19/12/2016 18:27

:( so sorry little you're so brave to share your experience as well, it's so helpful.
This is just pure white jelly like - I think I've had it previously before I knew anything was wrong but to be honest my brain is so frazzled I can't properly remember.

Littlemisssugarplum88 · 19/12/2016 18:34

I didn't have anything like that so I'm not sure sorry. It's all just so worrying isn't it coz you're not sure what's normal and what's not when miscarrying. When I saw the sac I honestly didn't expect it to be so big and I began panicking but epu reassured me that it was normal. Perhaps give epu a ring and ask if you're not sure?! I've found them to be sooo helpful and reassuring. I hope it all slows down for you soon xxx