What happens when a pregnancy has ended but miscarriage is yet to happen?

[MrsBobDylan]

Hi, am 8 weeks but a scan has shown that heartbeat is just a flicker and measurements are way out for the number of weeks. I have a scan on Monday and expect to find the pregnancy is finished.

However, all the pregnancy symptoms are still there so think I will need some kind of medical help to end it.

Would anyone mind sharing what my options would be and how it might work please?

I thought all would be ok at my last scan but now I know it's not I just want to prepare for the next stage. Thanks in advance.

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time Beam

Miami I know what you mean - I am overthinking everything now. I even woke up feeling a bit hopeful today which is mad because I know there's no hope and this scan on Friday is basically to confirm the MC.

As for holiday, anywhere that's warm in March! what about you? I'm the same - although this was our first pregnancy, I'm now thinking about taking precautions for a while as I think I need to get my head around everything first.

Sorry, have just been catching up with this thread and am sorry to see more of you in this sad situation...it's like the reverse of joining the conception bus isn't it? It totally sucks.

Am on day 11 of bleeding over here, even had a couple of little 'gushes' (sorry TMI) while out shopping today. I don't wanna wear big pants and pads anymore .

I was trying to hold all my emotion in but exactly a week after I used the pessaries it was all coming out whether I wanted it to or not. I spent a day weeping on and off and feeling very sad for my little July baby that wasn't meant to be.

Anyhow, having kept my pregnancy a secret from family and friends, I've now told my Mum, one sister and a couple of friends. Oh, and my boss. They have all been lovely and I've decided I'll give ttc another go. I just need the bleeding to stop!

So sorry to hear that Mrs, it really is like the horrible reverse. I'm clinging to the hope we'll all be reunited on a new bus next year. Glad everyone is being supportive for you though.

I was doing OK until I found out my friend is pregnant and had a nine week scan yesterday as well, and her 12 week scan falls on the exact same day as our 12 week would have been, so that was a bit of a shock. She didn't know that we were pregnant and I'm not going to tell her but wow the universe knows how to kick you when you're down.

Oh that is so tough whyis, you poor thing.

Sorry to hear that it's still dragging on MrsBob, I hope the bleeding lets up soon for you. I too feel very sad for my little summer baby who is not to be.

I am living in fear of miscarrying before Wednesday. I've still had no spotting at all, but I do have some very mild cramps in my lower back, so getting worried. I also realised today that we have no painkillers and no sanitary towels/maternity pads in the house. I'll be nicking some of DD's nappies if it all kicks off.

Also, although I'm feeling rather gloomy today, I would like to offer reassurance to anyone on this thread who is going through this in their first pregnancy. It happened to me, aged 39, in 2013, but I went on to have my daughter in 2014 with no problems at all - text book pregnancy.

Getting another bfp is stressful, you don't have the lovely innocence and optimism and the first trimester is nail biting, but the chances of everything working out fine are far higher than anything going wrong again (google is not your friend in this instance). You do have to learn to trust your body again though.

Despite it all, I still feel optimistic about conceiving again, and we'll be trying again after my first period.

Thanks Greedy that's really uplifting actually. I think I'm just not going to go back on the pill and see what happens (after a little break for recovery). I just keep telling myself this little one wasn't meant to be, but hopefully this time next year I'll be on another bus and it will stick!

So sorry for everyone else going through this X

I hope it helps a bit. This thread has been a bit of a lifesaver for me this week. X

Thanks greedy that's brought some positivity back. Thinking of everyone, in a strange way it's nice I'm not alone,iyswim ... It's a lonely place at home, putting brave face on. Xx

I know exactly what you mean hula it's so horrible to see so many of us suffering the same but at the same time it's nice to have the support and also to talk it through with people who understand.
I guess we should take heart from the fact that it's common in a way too, although I know everyone's circumstance is different.

We had only told a few people - not family yet we were going to surprise them at Christmas - but I'm finding people's optimism quite hard even though they mean well. I've had a lot of "oh you probably just mixed up your dates" and "I've heard about this a lot, scans being inaccurate and then things being fine" and it's making me really irritable. Has anyone else had this?

whyisthe that 's hard about your friend's scan and awful timing for you. People always seem to look for the positive in any bad news and find it hard to deal with. They can't really cope with it, so they tell you not to give up hope and they always seem to have known someone that happened to and it turned out OK. It's not helpful as you end up nodding along even though you have a strong feeling it won't be a happy outcome. Grrrrrrr to those people!

Hula is there anyone you can talk to for some comfort? I find I don't know what to say and just end up with 'I feel sad' which doesn't give dh very much to work with!

Greedy I think you're right to be as optimist as you can - hopefully I'll see you on a bus soon and we'll get the chance to get to the bad back, heartburn and extreme stretchmarks phase...same goes to all you guys!

I'm ringing epu this morning because I bled quite heavily yesterday and I've gone a lighter colour so wonder if I'm anaemic? It's day 12 of bleeding for me and I thought it'd get lighter by now not heavier. Gah!

Oh poor you mrsbob. I hope they sort you out today. I am still bleeding too (first set of tablets were 2nd Dec) so this feels like a crazy amount of time. I am at epu tomorrow for a checkup.
Let us know how you get on.
Do you mean that the bleeding is a lighter colour or that you yourself are very pale? Might be worthwhile taking some iron supplements either way? That is a long time to be bleeding.
One of the things I read said that if your bleeding tapers off and then starts up again then it is possible retained products and your body is just trying to deal with that effectively. Sometimes it needs help though so definitely epu for you.

Miami did you have the pessaries?! X

Thanks all. Mrs you're so right about people not knowing what to say/how to deal, I just don't want to get into the mindset of having false hope so have to keep shutting them down, I probably seem so rude.

Had a cry for the first time last night when I burst into tears because i spilled orange squash on my pjs - could NOT stop crying for about an hour. Luckily DH is great.

Then woke up feeling a little more in control only to be sent a scan pic from my friend immediately after. So happy for her, she's had two mmc but wow this is making it hard.

That sounds really rough miami and mrs hope the bleeding stops for you soon. I'm leaning towards the surgical option just because my pregnancy symptoms are getting stronger instead of going and I'm finding that hard to deal with so I think I want to just get it over with. depends if they can fit me in of course as Christmas is making everything awkward.

Sorry for the super long message!

Hope you all have a better day today and if, like me
you're waiting for another scan, that the next few days pass quickly for you.

I think I've just passed the majority of it :( xx

littlemiss
Hope you're doing OK.

😥 feeling for you littlemiss . I think I'm swaying towards eprc, my symptoms aren't going, feeling really nauseous more so than before,my boobs still a bit sore but not as much... Plus being a teacher it's going to be tricky to change pads very regularly ... Worried about the pain though. I hate even a pap test..
I've been sporadically crying... Once when my girls were dancing around to 'all I want for Christmas is you...baby's... Had to go upstairs for a moment and driving back alone from the supermarket...christmas songs again...and rock a bye baby...clean bandit one. It's coming in waves. I hope the bleeding stops soon for you that are bleeding at the moment, and that it'll be a bit more settled for Christmas. Thinking of you all. Lots of love xx

The pain came on quite badly so I sat on the toilet and the sac fell out of me :( It was the size of the palm of my hand. Really can't believe how big it was :( Surely there can't be much more to come xx

((((LittleMiss)))) I hope the worst is over for you.

I am still cramping and bleeding sporadically, still fairly light though. Wondering if this can carry on for another couple of days at this level so I can still have an MVA, or if it is inevitable that I'll miscarry at home now. Dp's birthday is going to be a complete washout at this rate.

Omg never knew it would be that big, how far along were you littlemiss? Hope you're getting some support at home, look after yourself. Big hugs. Hope you get your Mva greedyduck 😕 how long have you been bleedingb now? Xx

Started with a little blood tinged tissue when I wiped last night hula.

I think I've just passed the yolk sac actually. Been having mild cramping all afternoon and have taken a couple of paracetamol. The pain is nowhere near as bad as I imagined, but I can't really believe that's it.

I should have been 11 weeks when I had the scan but I was only measuring 7 weeks. I thought I'd passed a lot of the tissue etc Friday and yesterday but then the pain came on quite badly today so I sat on the loo at it just fell out of me. Completely different to tissue or blood clots, it was a big formed piece. I'd been having on and off period type cramps for the last few days but since I've passed that I've had no pain at all and the bleeding has slowed down so I'm hoping it's all come away from me now (fingers crossed anyway) xx

I had a chemically indused MC by misoprostol after a MMC. it was single handedly the worst experience of my life. I have had 2 D&Cs in the past and the experience was quick, efficient and non traumatizing. Because I've had them before my doctor didn't want to take an unnecessary risk of scaring so he really strongly suggested the medication.

What an experience. just the worst. I won't sugar coat this as it does hpt a disservice.

First - take your pain meds BEFORE you start the process and take more before the pain starts to kicome back in. I was on T3s and found them to be of little help but they did take SOME of the edge of.

Prepare yourself for the fact that generally you have to takeep these tablets vaginally- 3/4 at a time. you may be bleeding heavily during this time and you have to do it anyways. it is gruesome and in my opinion- cruel. For me, this was worse than the pain.

Lastly, despite 4 bed ridden days and multiple doses. It still took over a week to pass the sac. I've read many experiences where women say the entire process took a few hours to complete. this was not my experience.

to put this into perspective I was 10w3d when diagnosed with MMC and the baby measured 8w3d.

if I could do it over, I would have had the D&C

Ahh see it only took 48 hours for me to pass the sac. And I was told that it may not work because I wasn't bleeding initially and that my body might continue to be stubborn and hold on to it. So the nurse said if I didn't think I'd passed it within a few days then I could either have the pessaries again or I could just choose to go to theatre, but luckily it worked first time for me xx

for you all xxxxx

hula I think the ERPC is the least painful option. I've had no pain at all after mine. I was also measuring at just under 10 weeks and at that stage it would be a lot of tissue to have passed.

mrsevian, that sounds really hard.

why I also have a friend due when I would have been and it really hurts. They've just announced this week. I'm dreading their being any others.

I'm almost 3 weeks post ERPC and still getting faint positives. I think I'm another week away from being clear. I wish I could share in the positivity about trying again but this was an IVF baby so chances are pretty slim.

Just on the misopritol, I have now taken three times. In my mouth under my tongue, waited 15 mins at epu for them to dissolve. First time was 9wks but measuring 6.5weeks. I had already had some bleeding when I took the meds. It was pretty gruesome, I took all the painkillers, but it was all over by around 7pm (took them at 10am). I had passed the sac, and the minute I did all the pain stopped, like magic, couple of days later I wiped and placenta was just there. All done, hcg rapidly dropped and physically ok after around a week.
Second time - very similar dates (9ish but measuring 6ish) I was not bleeding myself when I took them by mouth again. Didn't work. Had some pain and bleeding but not enough to know that it was over.
Third time - 5 days after second. I had continued some light spotting in between the dose above. Barely made it home from epu before urge to sit on loo was all consuming. V different from 2nd time. Felt they worked but never felt the 'relief' I had felt the first time I took them once I had passed the sac. Had a few days of continued cramping (couple of nurofen able to deal with it) but also of feeling very anxious and like I couldn't leave the house as I firmly believed there was more to come. So 3 days later whilst we had a plumber here and all water was off - it just started again, very intense pain, very sudden and massive clots etc. Felt I had passed everything as again there was a sense of 'relief' from pain that was instant. Am now over a week later and still spotting, am in today for a check as hcg is still showing quite strong on HPT and am just concerned that there is still more to come.
Anyway what I am trying to say is that the tablets aren't for everyone, even for me every time I have taken them has been different. But i am very risk averse and have never had a GA before and just didn't feel that I wanted an operation when I could take these tablets and force my body to hurry up the process for me. Happy to answer any questions that anyone has. It is a super shitty time for you if you have found your way to these threads, what I have learned from it all is that I should listen to my instincts and body. I know now that the relief the first time was the sac, I also know that my hcg completely dropped with a massive intense headache around an hour after I passed the placenta. Unfortunately for me I also know that it doesn't always go that smoothly, if there is a voice in your head or you just feel anxious about leaving the house then it is possibly not over for you yet. My DH was a bit unconvinced by my instincts in this and is now a firm supporter of listening to my body. All the best to you and I am very sorry you have found these boards through necessity.