Missed miscarriage - advice needed please

[strawberry]

I have just found out from a scan that I have a missed miscarriage (ie. no bleeding but fetus not growing and no heart beat). The doctor recommends I have surgery (ERCP) rather than wait for nature to take its course. Does anyone have any advice/experience of this? Please help -I am gutted and don't know what to do. Thanks

Edie, how r u feeling??

Josie It was quite far down the thread about numbers in your name. I just commented on it rather sarcastically. Hope the tests provide the answers you have been looking for. Can't imagine how awful it is to go through ms more than once. You have been brave

Lynne Im fine thanks love! Im sure you have lots of different thoughts in your head right now. Try to stay +, difficult im sure

Going out tonight for a few drinks!...

Lynne
If you are pg you will be a great Mum, it will all come back to you and you'll be fine. Not going away til Monday, so will be online until then, but will be really keen to log on when I get back

Edie
being brave hasn't really come into it, this time it affected me an awful lot more, but I cried less if that made sense.
Are you ok, do you think you ov?

Hello, I have just joined mumsnet and saw the thread on missed miscarriages. I hope that this helps and totally sympathise with all of you who have been through this. I have had two missed miscarriages, the first aged 36 and the second sixth months later. I only found out there was a problem at my twelve week scan. The first time I was okay as I knew that my age might mean that things may not go smoothly straight away, however I was offered counselling which I didn't think I needed. I passed this pregnancy in hospital after they had started to medically manage the procedure, I was in for three days and lost a lot of blood. The second time I was so careful, had prepared fully for the pregnancy, ate well, took supplements etc, etc. Again, disappointment at twelve weeks. Apparently, both times, the babies had stopped growing at around seven weeks but I was experiencing no cessation of the symptoms of pregnancy. The second time I was very upset, but didn't get offered counselling?! This time I opted for theatre ( much less traumatic all round!)As I was older I insisted that we had a referral to the consultant, even though we hadn't suffered three in a row. If you stick to your guns it amazing how the rules can bend. We had genetic testing and other tests regarding blood clotting ability etc, and all came back fine. I waited another six months before trying again, and also had accupuncture. Anyway, the goods news is that we had a perfectly healthy boy, 9lbs 8 ozs, and born right on his due date. We are now 24 weeks pregnant with twin girls, so do hang in there, it will happen. Main things I think helped, the D&C, although going against my natural grain, I'm sure it cleared the womb completely and helped to make a better environment for the embryo, try to wait at least six months before trying again ( easier said than done, because hormonally all you want to be is pregnant again)and if age is against you push for tests earlier, there could be a simple solution. My friend had 3 miscarriages before they found she needed a dose of aspirin each day. Finally, try if possible to take comfort in the fact that the majority of these pregnancies were not going to progress normally and that its been natures way of saving you more heartache in the long run, difficult and distressing as it is at the time. In my more logical moments that made sense. Hang in there girls I'm thinking of you all.

Have been feeling emotionally a little woblby since yesterday Dare say will improve by and by.

Have been feeling emotionally a little woblby since yesterday Dare say will improve by and by.

Hi ladies! hope you are all weel, welcome to lucybee! Edie, jossie,how have you both been?? I think af is due anytime Got spots appearing on the face and craving for chocolate so not feeling so + today. I have just spent all day in hospital Last night my eye became v sore and swollen,went to chemist and she asked me to see an optician, she then sent me to hospital so now i look some state with this blood shot, swollen eye
Duchesse, i hope you are well...lucybee, its good to hear something good came out of all the heartache you had gone through, it gives us all hope.
Ladies..i will catch up later, edie, enjoy your night out!
Lynne xxx

Lynne and Josie

What on earth happened to your eye then Lynne?! Thanks, had a good n ight last night. Did me good I think, didn't drink too much but dp managed to spend 80 quid!

Is that your normal sign that af is coming? Spots? And the cravings? Guess it could mean you are pg too though,

How are you Josie? What are you up to? Still no sign of ov for me but started to relax a bit more about it. Trying to drink lots of water today as I think I have a UTI coming. Started to think I might be pg but deep down I know that is just wishful thinking.

Welcome to Lucybee-Thanks for sharing your story. I don't think it is necessary to wait six months is it? Is there any physical reason for that? Glad it worked for you though.

Duchesse Hope you are ok

LucyBee thanks for your message-I'm doing basically what you've said-have had ds x 2, but then 2m/c 4 months apart, my lovely doctor was fantastic and did a private referral (I have a sort of medical insurance, that covers some of it). I've had the chromosone tests (with DH), the wide ranging blood tests and am going to have the next lot in two weeks, with my next consultant appt in 3 weeks. The consultant told us it was better if nothing showed up on the tests although I kind of want an answer, but your experience at least gives me reassurance that even if nothing is pinpointed I've still got some hope of a "take home baby" as they call it.

Duchesse it's early days, don't expect too much of yourself, we all still have bad days (although less than at first). Our poor bodies have got to deal with the physical trauma, the mental side and all of the hormones going even more mad than usual.
Everybody here is really supportive and will help by being there.
Wishing you all the best-if you look back on this thread, you'll see our ups and downs and how we're gradually getting better, you will soon. How is your DP / other family about it, can you talk to anyone?
Best wishes

Lynne what on earth have you done to yourself? and with DH being poorly as well!!
Edie good to hear you relaxed and that your night out helped, how are you feeling now?

Hi girls, Edie with regard to your question about waiting. I'm not sure either, we got the green light from the medical profession to try again straight away, but, a good number of books which aim to help conception naturally were adamant that the body needed time to heal. I got pregnant again within three months of our first miscarriage and had a second miscarriage, when we waited six months we were successful. However, that could simply have been coincidence. Another thing I forgot to add earlier is how traumatic I have found scans since the missed miscarriages. It is sad but true that I will never look forward to one again, no matter how smoothly things appear to be going. It is truly sad that one of the things that so many seem to view with excitement has devastated our hopes. I had never heard of a missed miscarriage until I had mine, everyone I knew at that time seemed to breeze through pregnancy. It is great that mumsnet exsists so that we can share our experiences and support one another. Duchesse, my friends and I are all older Mums and have had various ups and downs on the way to a successful pregnancy, but we have all got there in the end.The most recent was 43, so please try to stay positive, I know its really, really hard, and a shock when something you assumed would happen so easily becomes such a struggle.Take care all.

LucyBee

God I hope it was just coincidence-heard of lots of people who have had sucessful pg's straight after mc and I have chosen to ttc straight away. So scared about it happening again though. However, not prepared to wait. Yes this website is truly fantastic-esp great has been the friendship I have built with Josie and Lynne-both great people. It may be cyber but sure is great....

You will find lots of support here xx

Josie Im good thanks, and you? xx

Hi Ladies!
LOL...Sorry, laughing at the state of me with my eye filled with some sort of ointment, so trying to read these threads with one eye for now
Josie, dont know what i have done Last night my eye started to get itchy and swollen, today its worse!!! The opticians say its a v rare infection which is usually related to arthistis and it could only be treated with steroids, the doc doesnt want to treat with that just yet so hes given me an antibiotic ointment so, i dont know whats going on there???All i know is this is v difficult to type with one eyeI wont reply to any threads for now as its taken me ages just to type this, but i hope you are all well, i'll catch up with you all tomorrow, hopefully.
Lots of love Lynne xxx
Jossie, i dont normally gets spots with af, so not really sure

Good luck over the next couple of weeks, all. I'm off to Italy for half-term (2 weeks for my crew). Bye.

Edie, don't worry about ttc quickly, I'm sure it will be fine. Have you considered accupuncture? Although they didn't test me for it, I was quite convinced that my hormones were a bit unbalanced and accupuncture can help all those things as well as directing energy to the womb area. It also helps you chill out. I went to the Chinese centre in Edinburgh and it was great, I'm sure there are others in the main cities. The accupuncturists there are called Doctors and have had to work in Chinese hospitals for at least seven years so they know their stuff. Good luck this time I'm sending you lots of positive thoughts.
Jossie, I am sure you will have no problems, having read your email it sounds as though you are in exactly the same place as I was in. I know what you mean about wanting them to find something so at least you know, but if there's nothing wrong its just a matter of time. I take it they are scanning you early when you do fall pregnant, I get scanned at 6 weeks, means I find out quickly if it looks like a non starter or not, which cuts down the waiting and hanging about.
Finally Lynne, sorry you have a sore eye. I get them every so often and as I work with children it is doubly embarrassing, they are totally confused by the big eye, small eye thing. You catch them scrutinising you when they think the big eye is diverted.Really hope it clears up soon! TC all.

Hi Ladies!
How are you all??
Duchesse..lucky you!!Enjoy your break in Italy!

Jossie, hope you are well and enjoy your break away, we'll miss you!

Edie, how have you been feeling?? Im glad you enjoyed your night out, its good to get a night out isnt it? Any further on with ov? Spoke with dh lastnight in great detail about us ttc, so we're both saying it will happen when it happens, although i would like to get my living-room decorated first not really sure how ive been feeling recently....havent felt normal???
but then my bodies gone through so much the last couple of months, should i be feeling normal??? Who knows!!
Anyway edie, hope you are well, i'll catch up with you later.

Lucybee, i hope you are keeping well and taken things easy, my eye isnt any better with the antibiotics so im gonnie go for a second opinion tomorrow,know what you mean about people looking at you strangely went out shopping today and found myself trying not to look people in the eye so hopefully it clears up soon!

Well ladies its quiet on here this evening so i'll hopefully catch up with you later on.
Lynne xxx

LucyBee-My doctor sent me for hcg blood tests early in the last pg, they werte normal, we paid for a private scan at 8 weeks and saw a heartbeat, apparently the baby died a couple of days after that scan. The consultant has told me to tell him immediately we get a BFP as then even if they haven't identified anything they can give me some kind of 'blanket ' treatment to cover a number of possibilities that gives a greater success rate-this time we will be scanned early on, but not sure if this will be on NHS.
I know what you mean about scans and the like. With my boys I carried on as normal pretty much (I work with children as well) and could be found standing on tables to put displays up etc , I had always maintained that I wasn't ill, only pregnany. Now however that innocence has been taken away and I know that I won't be able to look forward-I had a bad feeling about my 3rd pg (mc1) right from the start, but had felt more confident about the last one. Next time (if there is a next time as I'm coming up 37) I will not be able to relax ever, last time I didn't want to complain about tiredness or sickness as I was just grateful to be pg.
I don't know what I would have done without mumsnet asI've had so much support from Edie and Lynne, I tried my local miscarriage support group but it wasn't for me.
Thanks for your experiences

Lynne and Edie-Last message before I go away,unless I log on in the morning!
Fingers crossed for you Lynne, will be waiting to find out when I get back.
Edie, when is AF due, what do you reckon about you?
I'm feeling ok, just if anything doesn't go to plan, or upsets me I get over upset as I can't cope. On a day to day basis I'm not doing to well. I'm looking forward to having some time away as we were cheated out of our holiday in August, we're not going far, but at least it will be a break (2 boys in a caravan, probably raining is that a break?)
Look forward to catching up when I get back

Hi ladies! Hope you are all well.
Edie af arrived today. I am quite releaved as this will give me time to get the wallpaper stripped and i will be able to paper it too! I think i should still go to the doc though as i have had stomache cramp the last three weeks??? Not sure what this could be This has worried me a bit, as i starting taken notes when i got the pain and its been every day since the 3rd Oct ?? Anyone any ideas????
Right ladies, im away to get stripping (wallpaper) LOL Catch up later with you all!

Lynne xxx

Lynne

Do you have any other symptoms apart from the stomach cramps? Probably nothing to worry about but get it checked out if it is worrying you. Glad you are relieved about AF coming.

Josie

Don't know when AF is due. Think I had one after the mc but not at all sure. Got heartburn and feel very tired. Also just weighed myself and I have put on just under half a stone over past two weeks. Mmmm.

Edie, forgot to say along with sore stomachs ive had lower back pain and sore heads i've also put on weight Im working tues and wed so i'll go and see doc on frid xxx

Hi all,
I'm a newbie to this thread.

I have been bleeding since last Tuesday. I had a scan at the EPU today and they found a sac and a foetus but it measured 4.5mm (i.e. 6 wks) and I am supposed to be 9 wks today; and there was no heartbeat.

This could be as a result of two things-
a) my dates are wrong
b) the foetus stopped growing at 6 weeks and the bleeding is my body telling me that it is getting ready to miscarry.

They have made another appointment for next Monday morning to check me out and advice on a course of action then.

Anyhow, I am now bleeding big time so we have resigned ourselves to the fact that it was not meant to be this time round.

I went into this pregnancy with a lot of caution. It is my first and very much wanted but amoungst my many friends who have had many babies there is one who has miscarried 4 times in 3 years. I knew the risks and just kept praying I could get to the following week and still be pregnant. I guess my baby had other ideas!

I am glad I am not alone and that I have found MN to be able to share the ups and downs of this.