Missed miscarriage - advice needed please

[strawberry]

I have just found out from a scan that I have a missed miscarriage (ie. no bleeding but fetus not growing and no heart beat). The doctor recommends I have surgery (ERCP) rather than wait for nature to take its course. Does anyone have any advice/experience of this? Please help -I am gutted and don't know what to do. Thanks

Hi girls, well thats not so bad edie, if u get away early,i've no plans just yet, think ds is going out with his friends so i might get some wallpaper stripped!! Although i've been saying that for the last two weeks!! Ive only got one wall left to strip but we've decided to get the walls plastered so still got some work to do.Sat evening im out with the girls, just decided to go to the cinema and out for a meal instead of going out drinking (i love my food) edie, i love my cupboards and fridge full too!! And i love eating out!!

Jossie, hope the football goes well and i hope the weather stays dry!! Its been really nice here today, dry and sunny.
Well take care girls!
Lynne xxx

Hiya
Sorry didn't feel chatty last night-PMT
Work fine today.
Know what you mean about what some women do when pg, my friend has adopted two lovely girls and both had withdrawal symptoms from drugs and alcohol after birth .

Quite looking forwardto the weekend, even though DP will be working, it will be nice to spend time with the boys.

I was talking at work today about the three of us and how amazing it is to look back at our messages and how much stronger we've got over time, it's great having this support.

Ended up booking holiday to Essex, but not far from Suffolk coast, a few days away will be great especially as ended up in hospital on last holiday, with the m/c, so I think we deserve a break. There's so much to do on the house as we had an extension and are trying to do all of the finishing off stuff ourselves, but want a break more.
Edie, glad I'm not the only one who's messy-I drive DH mad as he is a lot more organised than me.
Have a good weekend,both of you, Hope work goes well Edie
J-(Jossie / Josie, makes no difference!)

Just previewed this message and saw what a jumble of thoughts it is-must be tired!!

Hi girls, jossie, it was good to hear from you, its also good you will be getting a break soon,our school break is this week, is that the same with yourselfs?? I was telling my friend yesterday at lunch also about you two, it has helped me alot speaking to you both, god knows how id have got through this without you both!
Well the weathers lovely here, so hopefully thats the same for you jossie since you have the football training. Edie i know you will be hard at work just now But not long to go till u finish Ive just spoke with dh on phone, hes split his head open in dublin They cant go anywhere without us can they ??? Its cause hes so tall (6ft7)one of the ceilings were lowered and banged right in to it!!
Right i'll finish for now as my mums just came in for breakfast
Take care
Lynne xxx

Josie

Yes it is great to have the support-I have spoken about you both to my DP too! I wonder whether we would all get on in RL-probably! Essex will be good for you both to relax and unwind. Yes definately spend it on the break rather than the house-we went to Centerparcs after the mc and that was soooo good for us. It was like a big bandage for our emotional health!
Sorry about the PMT-and you feel free to have jumbled thoughts!!

Lynne

Hope DH is okay after his split head! how awful. Weather here is mild and quite sunny. Have a good night tonight, I much prefer a meal out or cinema than drinking in a pub.

Well wait for this-my friend who was pregnant had her baby this morning-due date 6th December!!!!! Could not believe it!! Went to see her after work and she is fine, baby weighs just under 4lbs and is called Mia Isabelle. She is fine but will be in SCBU for next two weeks roughly. Didn't feel jealous at all!! Think it's just pregnant woman that I feel funny around

Edie
Good to hear about your friend's baby being ok, and also that you were as well. Hope your day at work went well
Lynne-My half term starts in a weeks time . Sorry to hear about your DH's head, not a problem I encounter myself, only being 5'3"!
Just sitting down ready to start my home working . Football was good today-just got a wet foot from a leaky boot! (not playing, just on the sidelines with the dew)
Have a good rest of the weekend-what sort of interests do you both have?

Josie

I love playing badminton, but apart from that I like the usual things in life, seeing friends, going out for meals etc. Had a lovely indian with my mum and her partner last night. It was yummy.

We keep saying we are going to buy mountain bikes as I love being on a bike but we never get round to saving.

Hi girls!Howare you both? Im well,had a nice weekend(although missed dh) Last night was good we all went to see devil wears prada and our meal was lovely, i picked chicken korma (didnt go for dessert as ive eaten out alot this week) Today im making a steak pie and just chilling out.
Dh says hes ok,i'll see tonight when he gets back, jossie i've never had that problem either, im 5ft1.
Im glad the football went well!

Edie, i enjoy cycling too, so does dh, he and friends cycled from glasgow to newcastle last year (im not that good) but do enjoy it, i also enjoy going to the gym and jogging but i have a injury on my foot just now so cant really do much (or thats my excuse for now)

Edie, i bet we would all get on in rl, i get on with anyone!! And you two sound such lovely people im sure anyone would get on with you both.
What about dh/p what do they both do?? Dh works in rolls royce, he make the engine parts for the planes he loves it but the shift are rubbish!! This week hes night shift
Well girls hope u both had nice weekend.
Lynne xxx

Oh, forgot to say girls im a bit of a perfectionist, so i would clean ur house any day LOL everyone keeps saying ive got some sort of cleaning disorder

Im back again, just looking for advice ladies.
I was told my nephew(previous dh who passed away) nephew has been getting up to no good, taking drink and drugs, not going to school etc,etc anyway i approached previous m/i as (she has custody of him) and said to her to watch what money she was given him as i saw him smoking, but she turned round and said "well there hasnt been any signs of him smoking, theres no doubts about the house" ?????? Ireplied "well lets be honest, hes not exactly gonnie do it in or around the house, is he"??? so she sort of changed the subject and i let it be, anyway what would you two do? should i approach my s/i and tell her??
I know if it was my son i would want to know, what about yourself?? Would you want to know if it was ur ds?? We have already been through this sort of thing with s/s and we wanted to know everything he was up to so that we could deal with it there and then, but you how some people can be when it comes to their d/d or d/s. I dont want to come across as telling her everything he does but at the same time i dont want this to get any worse (hes 15)
Thanks!
Lynne xxx

I know what you mean about shifts Lynne, DH has been on 12 hr nights over this weekend, although I have to confess that I don't mind the odd evening to myself, just miss him (Soppy I know, even after 11 years of marriage). He works at a power station.
Edie do you work shifts in your job?
I forgot to say in answer to a previous question that I live in a small village, about 20 minutes drive to the nearest supermarket etc!
About your nephew, I would want to know, but I can understand why others would want to be in blissful ignorance. Maybe it's a case of leaving it for a bit and then saying a little more (I'm rubbish at advice though so could be really wrong!)
It's interesting that you are realy tidy-I'm one of those people that tidy people befriend to make themselves feel even better! My next door neighbour is really tidy, I dont think she can believe how bad I am. It's untidy but clean mess, I'm trying to be better, but not getting very far. Another friend of mine is really tidy and doesn't go out with even a dirty spoon in her sink, if she turns up unexpectedly I go around shutting doors to hide the clutter, I've just got too much stuff.
Edie I like biking, but am not very good at it, can only cycle a distance when it is flat! I've just started doing aqua aerobics which is fun, quite a shock to me that I enjoyed it as I'm not a particularly good swimmer.

Lynne

Yes we probably would get on and it's really nice that the three of us can talk about other things apart from the mc/ttc stuff. My dp works as an engineer and his shifts are pretty normal. I have to work shifts, earlies, lates and nights. Nights are not very regular though so thats good. Im a bit of a perfectionist too and love giving the house a good clean every now and again but dp is the one who maintains it.

With regard to the problem re nephew, I probably would tell his mum although TBH if I was her I wouldn't be too hard on him-smoking is an awful habit but I don't know that many 15yr olds these days who don't smoke as an experiment. Unfortunately! Also-I tend to think that the more a parent tells a kid not to do something-the more it will seem appealing. I remember smoking for a couple of weeks when I was in my teens but it was so disgusting I had to stop. All she can do is teach him about all the really nasty things that smoking does to the body and hopefully he will make his own mind up about it and stop. My dp smoked on and off while a teen but is now the biggest health freak known to man and doesn't even like being around others that smoke. I don't smoke either. Good luck xx

Josie

I thought about aqua aerobics as it supposed to be very good excercise but haven't really got anybody to go with or enough motivation to go alone!!

My friends' baby is now out of the incubator and should be home once my friend has established a good feeding regime.

Feeling really broody and a bit down

Hi girls, thanks for the advice,that was a good help from both of you,well once again, i've had a really lazy day, just gone to tesco and just about to make the dinner...had a really bad night though, couldnt stop crying, felt very down and depressed, i watched prime suspect and it showed u a little fetus in a tub and that knocked me for six!! At the time it was fine, after it though it brought back everything relating to my mc and i cried most of the night, its really knocked me fo six today as ive felt fine over the last three weeks, i just feel so emotional about everything the last couple of days, watching the news im crying,watching the tv im crying, and even at the cinema i was crying and it isnt even emotional things im watching!! God knows whats happening to me... maybe my bodies just getting back to normal after the shock and everything else its gone through! Anyway (god im even crying just thinking about it) Right im away to make the dinner, hopefully i'll catch with you both later on and reply to both your last messages, instead of sitting here crying God what am i like) Right need to go and get my act together!!
Lynne xxx

Lynne

You poor thing. I thinks its perfectly normal and natural for this to happen. You are grieving and the process is like a rollercoaster. Plus remember your hormones are at a deep decline so that is bound to make you feel really tearful without the fact that you actually do have something to feel sad for. I felt strange last night as we had news that my exes girlfriend has just had her baby so that was hard. There are other reasons as to why it was hard but ill no doubt fill you both in about that another time. Hope you are ok Lynne, just come on here if you need to talk..ill keep checking it xx xx

Oh girls, what am i like, just reading your message edie has got me in tears again!! Your both such nice people and have helped me alot through the ups and downs of mc, i dont know what id do without you both. xxx Dh is trying his hardest to make me smile and laugh which is good but i just want to sit in the loo and cry all night, although i know i should be up trying to keep myself occupied, im also being sick and at the back of my mind saying am i pg??although i doubt it, im sick after i eat anything ive had this the last two days, although all last week i was feeling quite ill (so maybe its just a bug) im also off my food which is a bit of a shock for me as i love my food
Right, seem to have got my act together for now i'll go and do some house work, that will keep my mind occupied for now.

Josie, know what u mean about the shifts.i quite like when dh is night shift as i get the whole bed to my self and i love it!!! Although i miss him alot
I'd love to do aqua aerobics, but dont really like the water (or is it my figure) Josie do you enjoy living where you are?? because im a city girl i wouldnt be able to handle living in a village, my broth lives in dumfries and i enjoy visiting him and the scenary is so lovely but i always look forward to getting back to city life, i suppose it all depends on where you are brought up, although it is good to get a break away from the city..I hope you enjoy your break, its good to get away!

Edie...poor you with the ex's girlfriend know how you must feel xxx
Right am away this time Lynne xxx

BTW Do either of you ever go into the ''chat'' board? I love it but some of the stuff infuriates the hell out of me. However I always keep my mouth shut as I understand everyone is entitled to their opinions and there are so many of us that people are always going to disagree etc.

But I just posted a sarcastic comment on a thread entitled ''please all newbies, don't put numbers in your name''

...Think im going to regret it!

Edie, i havent been in ther yet, i'll need to have look i'll go just now xxx

Lynne

Don't feel that you have to distract yourself from the crying-sometimes it does you good just to let it all out. My DP tries to say the right thing but its hard. Bless 'em.

Are you sure you are not pg?

xx

Dont know, edie, cant test till next week.

I did go on that other thread go girl!!! good on you!!! I always say how i feel, if people dont like it, stuff!!! We are all entitled to our opinion!

meant to say tuff

I have been peeing alot more and my backs been sore (might just be a wee chill)

LOL

I know but im usually so sweet tempered (!!!!). Just cannot believe that people would want to discuss numbers in the bloody names! As if there are not more important/interesting things to discuss!

Omigod I wonder if you are pg?

There are everywhere tonight!!!

A know what u mean I'm a bit like that too, if i have something to say, ive gota say it!!

Not sure, need to wait and see how i feel over the next couple of days, then i will know av due on 24th, we'll see.xxx

I know!!! So many wee cause you've cheered me up xxx