Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 30 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[forestnest]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2441180-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-29-Support-for-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again

(stats etc to follow)

Good luck for the hysteroscopy tomorrow peqpit. Sorry i don't know about the misoprostol. Nobody has ever mentioned it, but then maybe they wouldn't.
Re fb, If you pm me your name and a description of your profile pic i can add you as a friend then add you to the group.

Good luck for tomorrow peqpit. I've heard of misoprostol (the sound of which makes me shudder ) being used before an erpc for the same reason. Maybe they will administer at hospital prior to the op...

Minnie I'm willing everything that you'll get your BFP very soon and your only visit to Epu will be for positive reassurance scans. xxx

Barking I hope your yoga day was relaxing and helpful to you and DH.

mrsC I'm 18wks and big scan is next Friday, what day is yours?

peqpit I had the misopotril before my medical managements so I can see it would probably open the cervix a bit for the op. Seems a bit extreme (unless one doesn't work as well as 4! Could be painful otherwise). I've done the 30 day shred before- only got to day 18 but I lost ten pounds! Should really do it again but have zero motivation hope the op goes well tomorrow xx

bumble 18 weeks! Woah it's whizzing by! X

Hello ladies...welcome newbies sorry you find yourselves here but know that you will find support and lots of knowledge here, I've found it so comforting since joining a few weeks ago. Have also joined the facebook group which is equally lovely.

salstar so sorry to hear of your losses.

minnie dh and I are just about to have the same talk about 'what we're going to do next'...drum roll please.

Initially I had it in my head we'd give it one more try...when you get to 5 goes you wonder if someone is trying to tell you something. I know a couple of others on the thread have had success after 5 or are trying again, and that's hugely inspiring.

But as the weeks have gone on I'm more thinking the same as you, we won't know until/if it happens again. We've just had mc5 (an mmc) 4 weeks ago. And actually now I'm thinking 'bugger you!!' (fate or whatever you are) I'm not giving up that easy.

I say easy, obviously its anything but easy, however I feel I've kind of earned my stripes, if that makes any sense at all. I've got a bit tougher as a result and even though its heartbreaking and awful, and bloody stressful to have to through it all again, I can only think of what a wonderful result we might get if we just brave it out. Got the bumph for Coventry just need to try to explain it all to dh now. Feel like I'm studying for a test.

barking hope yoga day was a success and you feel a little bit lighter. We went for a spa day yesterday which we've never done before, was fab and worth every penny for a bit of R and R!

peqpit best of luck with the test!

bumble gosh 18 weeks, its flying by...not for you I'm sure!x

hels good luck with 'the talk'. I was actually nervous about it as I was sure dh had had enough and I'd have to try and persuade him. Luckily we're on the same page, for now anyway. Like you I feel like I've got tougher and I can stand a couple more if there's a chance it leads to a take home baby. I just think surely to God my eggs can't be so shit that I don't have one good one waiting! I'm trying to take hope from the ladies who've had success after 4 or 5 mcs too. I've said it before but it's just frustrating you only get one chance a month! Are you thinking of Coventry this time around?

Cd12 here and seem to be having some signs of ov (right side pain, ewcm- although it's slightly blood stained which is bothering me a bit) though opks and cbfm not showing anything. Might start temping next cycle I think- just to feed my over use of fertility apps etc!

minnie, I had slightly blood stained ewcm at ov this time (and a couple of days after). Was totally sure that meant i couldn't be pg, but then read its a good sign of strong ov. Fingers crossed x

I think you only know that it's time to stop when that time actually comes. I think it's good to have a plan about when that might be, but you have to be flexible too. I scared myself by looking at stats on success rates after 5mcs, and wondered whether we ought to give up, but then when i thought about it more, i realised that the stats are probably completely skewed because people give up after being beaten down this many times. That made me wonder whether these scary stats are actually writing themselves. By that, i mean that people see the stats dropping off and so don't want to put themselves through this again for a smaller chance of success, so that then adds to the negative side of the stats. It made me think 'I'm not going to give up yet' as the stats might be wrong.
I think you're right as well that you do get a bit of fight in you after this many (although it ebbs and flows for me) and just want to beat this thing. Prof b kept telling me "persistence is the key". I hope he's right

Hello ladies,
Have been absent due to forgetting which password I'm now using for the umpteenth time but think I'm back in!
So I am preggers. Again. Only 4 weeks but can't believe I'm doing this. Again. We (I) decided we had to try one more time to see if kitchen sink approach will work. Am already doubtful because:
a) I decided to take aspirin before ttc (as suggested by Leeds and Liverpool but not Coventry) so this will probably be a wrong decision and fuck up implantation
b) I ov'd really late (day 20) so that's probably another bad thing
c) I've got pregnant really quickly again so this is probably an additionally bad thing
d) I didn't start the progesterone til I found out i got a faint positive at about 12 dpo instead of the 7 as recommended by Coventry so have probably done yet another bad thing.
Oh, and
e) I haven't been able to hang onto 4 other babies so why should this be any different?
Anyway, after a day of arseing around yesterday trying to get the prescription, am now on the tinzeparin.
So that's that. We'll see. I am just posting so that I have in someway marked the occasion but am under no illusions that this will work (which of us are, eh?) Still, it will all be over by Christmas and then I can get on with my life.
Hugs to the rest of you and sorry to the newbies that you find yourself here.

Squeeeeeeeeeeeal! Yay pop, so happy to hear this. I know it's hard for you to get excited but i will be a little bit excited on your behalf.
I know that feeling of thinking you've probably done something that might make it not work, but just to give some balance
a) i also got pg again very quickly, which has never been a good thing before
b) i also didn't take prog until bfp (actually until 14dpo as i was scared)
c) i also wasn't able to hang onto any of the last 5, and thought why should this be different?
But guess what. It is different. And yours can be too. Try to turn those things that you think you've done wrong/are bad into positives, things that are different this time (stealing wise words from bumble here). The fact that you're on the heparin, you've taken aspirin (still very up in the air as to whether it's good or bad, so why not go with good?), you've had a long break to recover so your body is ready. I'm sure you can add more. I wrote down a list on a piece of paper and added to it as i went so that when i had a wobble and forgot why i thought it might work, i just needed to read the list to remind myself all the things that were different this time. It's not going to be easy but we're all here with you. Xxx

Thanks march. As ever, you are an incredible support. I needed to write down my doubts as then they're on here and not in my head! X

Wow Pop! sorry but I'm also a bit excited for you! Some of your points also apply to me too. It's great you've got meds sorted already. Just keep reminding yourself of what's different this time and as March says, do the list. Got everything crossed that you'll be having a sober Xmas and beyond and it will be ok, hand holding in the meantime. xxx

hels hope your talk with DH went ok and you're both on the same page.
hels and Minnie you both sound so determined and strong, I think you'll both definitely get there. X

Thanks bumble. I really appreciate your kind words. X

Thank you bumble and march wise words as always.

I love that "persistence is key" i am nothing if not persistent (or a gigantic pain in the arse as dh likes to describe me ;) minnie yes thinking of coventry next i just need to get dh to understand a) the heparin debate and b) why its worth our while doing the uNK cell test again...that's a hard sell!
But overall we are on the same page about not giving up; we're a pair of persistent so and so's you might say.
pop a very quiet congrats i know you're not feeling ecstatic, but willing it on your behalf! The kitchen sink approach is as good as any xx

I wrote you a message pop** but it has disappeared! If my sentiments appear twice blame my tecnological ineptitude!
Pop** there isn't another pregnancy announcement that i could be more happy about! You absoloutly deserve this sweetie, and i completly understand why you are being restrained and keeping a buckle on the hope, after what you've been through. However, i hope a gazillion amount that this one works for you! If you need some rl support just text me and i'll come over after work whenever you need/would like! Xxx

Oh pop wow I'm so thrilled for you! I totally get why you're keeping a lid on the excitement (who on here doesn't!) but I'm going to be happy for you. And like march says why shouldn't the kitchen sink be the approach that works for you. Willing it on for you. Xx

bumble thanks for the positivity. I'm determined to keep going but not so positive it'll actually ever work out (before I start with the menopause!) x

march I hope you're right about the ewcm. Monitor still saying high but no peak and opk saying a definite no. Body seems to be saying otherwise though. We've been dtd every other day anyway so we'll keep on that track for a few more days. You've got to be right about the stats being skewed- to keep going after 5/6 takes some guts. It would be interesting (but I know impossible) to see how that would change the data. X

hels glad you and dh are on the same wavelength. Makes it easier when you're not having to persuade them x

Thanks for the kind support and well-wishing minnie and freckle. Everybody on here rocks. X

Congrats Pop! Fingers crossed that everything works out well for you this time!

I just got back from the hysteroscopy, I am traumatised. The erpc was a walk in the park compared to this. They fucked up the anaesthetic drip and it went into my arm instead of my vein, so painful. I was in the operating theatre waiting for it to kick in but I could feel my arm getting more and more painful, plus i had an oxygen mask on which was making me feel claustrophobic. Bloody awful, just wanted to rip everything out and go home.Woke up to find the drip in the other arm and now have to monitor other arm to make sure I don´t get an infection... urggh

In good news they found a tiny septum and removed it so one less problem.

God peq that's sounds horrendous! What a horrible experience. Glad they sorted the septum- hope that makes it feel a little bit worthwhile. And hope you've got you're feet up now xx

Falling asleep so can't post properly but couldn't resist popping in pun intended to give Pop a squeeze .
I know you've got a way to go from here, but I'm happy for you that you are pg right now x. New embryo, new womb, new pregnancy. And the kitchen sink .

Wow quiet congrats Pop!! That's brilliant news, can understand why you feel like that but still you're pg and we can be excited for you. Everything crossed.

Peqpit hi! Your op sounds very painful, sorry to hear that. I had the same op a week ago Friday in London, it went well but they never said to me about a pill to soften cervix? My anethetist was the nicest one id ever come across and I hate going under. Good they found a septum and removed it. Where did you have it done? Have you got coils in now to help the healing? I have 2 in and they come out 21 Oct and I'm abit worried what this will do to my cycle that's just got back to normal after mc3. Are you on Premarin? Sorry lots questions!

Minnie glad you and dh are on same page and really hoping this time is the one for you and the end of the hideous journey. You sound like me with the age worry . Persistence is the key I think.

What's the kitchen sink approach?!!

Throwing everything at it...including the kitchen sink!

Thanks hels!! Of course it is! Well that's our approach too, had all tests done, op, taking shit loads of supplement so giving it all we've got! Good to hear your dh and you are on same page too.
Meant to say, I heard at weekend that a friend of a friend has just had her third at 47! So there is hope!

Feeling pretty miserable today, was down at a&e at 8am for my bloomin arm, not sure quite how the anesthetic managed to go so wrong! Arm now in sling, antibiotics for infection and painkillers for excruciating pain every time i twinge.
But my uterus is feeling just fine!!
emerald72 i didnt take the cytotec in the end as couldn't get any at the chemist but doesn't seem to have
Made a difference. I live abroad so everything is a bit different here.
No coils or anything, I suppose maybe because the septum was so tiny.
Sorry for the mope, just feeling sorry for myself!

Oh gosh peqpit, that sounds horrendous! Hard to believe that someone could do that so badly. So if you're abroad you're having to pay for this fuck up then? Criminal. But glad they have removed the septum. Hopefully that will be it. Are you back ttc straight away, or do you have to wait for things to settle down?

emerald, baby at 47. Wow. Great news and gives hope. We all look like spring chickens now!