Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 30 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[forestnest]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2441180-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-29-Support-for-Tests-Treatments-and-Trying-Again

(stats etc to follow)

peqpit you poor thing- you've every right to mope. It sounds like a right fuck up and very painful.

emerald I'm not sure about 47 being a good sign for me-that would mean another 6 years of ttc, tww and possible mcs! Not sure I'm up for that. Good on her for showing it's possible though, it's reassuring in the respect that it can happen. Is there a big gap between her other children? I wonder if it was planned.

Oh peqpit that sounds awful, shocked they could bodge it up so badly. Glad you've been seen about your arm now and hopefully it will get better with the antibiotics. Also I think it's positive they found a septum and removed it, if this was causing problems then hopefully that's sorted now.

Oh no Peq that sounds awful what a thing to happen last thing you need. Glad your uterus is fine tho! Where do you live? Does all sound quite abit diff there. My coils are to keep adhesion from healing into scar tissue again.
Minnie yes I think 47 is abit late for me too! 45 is my cut off but that only gives me a year, so depends what next year brings. You just don't know what you're seeing in when you see new year in are you? I used to love it, new year, but now I'm not so sure. Not sure if this third baby was planned but she had her first at 41 x

peqpit hope you're feeling a bit better today and the arm has calmed down

Emerald I hate new year and I hate Christmas. Christmas is 'all about the kids' and new year just marks the passing of time. I came off the pill December 2011 so New Year for me now always marks another year of trying to start a family. Hitting 4 years this year would be rather depressing .

I find New Year's Eve strange too. It always makes me reflect on what's happened over the year, what might happen next year and just general sadness about things that have happened, people who have been lost and family who aren't here. Plus you always get smug bastards posting about how great their year/life has been - my bf being one who went through a checklist, DH business doing great-check, new baby-check, DS-great at school-check, dd-just started school-check, I'm so lucky-check check fucking check!!! Bleugh it made me want to vom so I immediately unfollowed her (and I admit I still am )! Sorry went off on a bit of a rant there!!!

I agree Christmas is very kid focused barking and I imagine if I was in your shoes I would dread it too. I think you mentioned before that you and DH tend to go away on hol for Xmas, that sounds a great idea. I'm hoping this is the last Xmas you feel this way lovely and your next one will be very different indeed. xxx

Hi ive been lurking on this thread and after getting my af on Tuesday ive decided that im going to go to Coventry this month. My stats are:
ttc #1 since Aug 2013
mmc 1 nov 2014 (10weeks hb stopped at 8) d&c
mmc 2 feb 2015 (blighted ovum) med man
mmc 3 may 2015 (blighted ovum) d&c after several haemorrhages

What is the time scale for Coventry iv emailed them and know that i need to wait for a smiley on the ovulation then book in 7/10days after. how long did it take to get your results back? and did you ttc the month after visiting Coventry or did you wait for your results? I just feel anxious about the possibility of not trying for one month let alone two

Hi, welcome rainbow and sorry for your losses.
Yes that's right, call them when you get a pos opk and they'll fit you in 7/10 days after, they do biopsies on Mon and Fri so it will be whichever day fits best. The results take about 4-5 wks and they email them to you. They'll then email you a treatment plan and do a phone consultation (tues evenings I think).
Yes they encourage ttc asap after the biopsy as the procedure is meant to 'refresh' your lining and make you more fertile.
I think if you got pg straight away before your results they would rush them through for you in case you needed to start steroids. Let me know if you have anymore qs on Coventry. x

I'm back... my absence is mostly because I am an android user so have no mn app!! Been checking up on everyone on the fb page though, just need to match user names to fb names!

Lovely to see some of the old names from when you all helped me back in May. Emerald, OneStep, Minnie, Bumble, Freckle, ThePop so so so happy to read your news!!!!, March, Bootles, Barking, Flen, Girlie, and MrsDiddlyDoo.

Congratulations to Allthereis and paws on your hb at scan! And to xxsophiexx, texta, and flower on your BFPs!

Lovely to see people progressing well into their pregnancies, March, Bumble, Bootles, MrsC.

Welcome to all the newbies, sorry you find yourself here but I am glad you found us.

My stats for those that don't know me.

Me 25 (until Thursday) DH 27.
ds1 - 9
Ds2 - 2
Mc1 - Sept 14 5/6 weeks
Mc2 - May 15 18+3 weeks.

All tests came back normal, no explanation or reasons. Haven't pursued rmc testing at this time as consultant has said it is unlikely to be worthwhile but will offer if and when wanted. She has also offered genetic testing.

27th September was 1 year anniversary of 1st mc and baby Jack's due date so a doubly shit day!

We are currently ttc, af due today! No tests in the house, consultant advised not to test until 4 days late but unlikely I will be able to hold out until Thursday!

rainbow welcome to the thread but sorry you find yourself here. bumble has covered Cov for you there. Definitely start trying straight away. I credit the scratch with getting pg quickly after mc3 (two cycles). I'm thinking of asking for another if I'm waiting a while this time around.

spam good to hear from you. Sorry the 27th was so hard. Typical that all the sad things are compounded into one day. Hope af doesn't arrive this month- not sure I could wait till four days after either, I only usually manage to wait till the day it's supposed to arrive!

Nursing a hangover here today. Bit of a girls night at a friends last night for the first time in ages. I hardly drink anymore (in an attempt to help my sorry eggs!) but just thought feck it last night. I'm 2 dpo so hoping it'll not affect anything (if anything was even going to) implanting. Need to use my steroid eye drops too as my allergy is playing up but I don't dare as I've used them during the last two mcs and I'm worried they're the cause. (Animal testing show the actual drug causes abnormalities and death in foetuses but not sure about it as an eyedrop) going to ask my rm consultant next week at my appointment.

Went to a party for a 4 year old yesterday and there was two heavily pregnant women and two newborns there. The general discussion was all about being pregnant and the desire not to be anymore. I must have looked like a miserable old cow as I didn't join in with the hilarious how dreadful being pregnant is discussion.

Thankyou everyone I will let you know how I get on in Coventry. Also I'm going to start opks next week iv got the clear blue double hormone ones that flash a faint smily At high fertility and a bold smily at peak fertility, do I wait til peak to call Coventry or when it's high ?

Checking in cos I'd like to know re high/peak fertility irt Cov too.

Stats:
Me, 37, DP 29
Ttc #1 since March '14
Mc1 in May '14 @5+1
Mmc2 in Dec '14 @9 weeks
Mmc3 in Aug '15 @13.5 weeks
AF due this Tues then will be opk'ing prior to Cov appointment

Tested earlier today and was a BFN. I should have just waited like I was told. I also got an email inviting me for interview for a job I really want so based on sod's law. If I get the job I will also find out I am pregnant! Wishful thinking I think.

Seriously, however I have decided that I am going to grab life by the balls and not put off potential opportunities as I 'might get pregnant soon'. I turned down a fantastic 2nd interview for my dream job when I was pregnant with mc1 and have regretted it.

Hope you are all well. I imagine you are all on the fb group as it is dead here.

Can't remember re the opk at Coventry but best thing to do is call Kerri on 02476967528 and she'll let you know and book you in. I don't get peaks on opk's since my last mc so they did my appointment based on my regular cycle.

Welcome rainbow you've come to the right place for advice and support. Definitely try straight away after Coventry. There is a benefit of the scratch (or biopsy.. Whatever you want to call it!) That it increases fertility for a few months. I'll be 30 weeks this week and conceived straight away after visiting.

Fb group is very active spam but quite a few of us still check in here... I think. It's the blumming problems with apps and the hacking that have made it more difficult to post here. Hope the interview goes well whenever it is

spam sorry the 27th was such a hard day. Did you do anything special to mark the day? Sorry about the bfn too! Hoping the next month is a BFP for you. Good on you to go for the job! Like you say, worse case is you get the job and get pg, that wouldn't be so bad !

Ouch minnie that does sound painful having to listen to that, especially about the not wanting to be pg bit, aaarrrrhhhhh!! I'm sure the alcohol won't make a blind bit of difference to your egg.

Good luck to those going to Coventry soon!!

Thanks mrsdiddlydoo the interview is on Thursday (my birthday). I am hopeless at interviews so am absolutely terrified.I can't believe you are 30 weeks already!

Bumble we didn't do anything much. We just spent some time together as a family and watched films with the boys. My mum sent a card though "To Angel Babys first birthday" and I don't know how I felt about it. It seemed a strange thing to do but I didn't want to be ungrateful so I thanked her and told her it was a lovely gesture. She was referring to the early mc anniversary and I just thought, I hope she doesn't make a habit of sending cards like this. I know I sound like a right bitch but I found it odd to send a birthday card.

No AF here as yet, my boobs ache though so who knows. I have no idea what my body is up to!

Am really struggling with things the last couple of days. Am supposed to be 5 weeks but pregnancy symptoms have subsided after feeling grotty last week. Obviously, I've decided it's all over. I really don't think I can do this again. If it's not going to work, then I just want it over and done with. So I've booked a private scan for the weekend and am just bracing myself for the inevitable.

Sorry for the 'woe is me' post as I know others are going through much, much worse. Just need to vent.

spam I've never heard of anyone giving a card before... But at least it shows she's remembered and cares which is nice.

pop those early days are soooo hard. If it helps I didn't really have symptoms until 6.5wks (nausea) and gradual exhaustion which peaked at 8wks. Sorry what meds are you on this time? I think it's important to note that anxiety masks symptoms too, it did for me and a few others on here. A scan sounds like a good plan, even if you don't see much hopefully it will confirm you are as far along as you're meant to be and reassure you. xxx

Thanks bumble. You always know how to say the right thing! You are right that it is still early. I suppose it's just that I felt the nausea etc more last week and now feel like it's not as bad. Anyway, I think you're also right about the worrying making things seem less apparent! I am on the cyclogest, aspirin and heparin this time. Which will also be making things different, I guess. Just have to dig deep and try and stay Zen... x

Gosh I have missed loads, will work backwards and try to catch up. I struggle to keep up here and on fb, and couldn't get into mn again for a while.

pop lovely, great about the bfp. Totally understand your current panic. I don't think there is anything I can say to alleviate your anxiety, because it's inevitable. The early weeks in particular are just so bloomin impossibly difficult, and I know that for you there will be tough later times too. But...this pg is a new one, like march says. I wouldn't take a blind bit of notice of late O, or when you started meds, because we all know of all these different ways it works out - with meds, without, with bizarre O times etc. I was convinced this one wouldn't work as my bfp was late, whilst O wasn't - never had that before, but am now 24 weeks (still crossing everything). Am I right in saying that tinzeparin/heparin is thought to be the most important med for you? And you have that. Also symptoms were like that for me too, as bumble says, started around 6 weeks - and dipped for me after a few initial symptoms too. Good you have a scan booked for the wknd, I'll be thinking of you. Massive hugs xx

More in a bit..

spam hello, good to hear from you. Am crossing everything for you for this month, hoping it's just too early. Don't think I could ever wait for 4 days over af due date to test! Good luck for the interview!
Ploughing onwards with life is all good. Hmm I can see why you feel odd about the card - but I guess as bumble says, it shows she remembered and was thinking of you - guess there aren't really any cards with the appropriate words. My mother tends to get comments/actions a bit wrong on this topic, often because she's so desperate to get it right she gets it wrong if you see what I mean. 27th must have been a really tough day though x

minnie ugh to the conversation you had to endure, sounds torturous. I also wouldn't worry about the booze

rainbow welcome, so sorry for your losses. patience hello again. I think you are meant to call coventry at peak of opks. If you have a regular cycle though, just go by that - its never going to be an exact science. Hope you both get to coventry soon.

I've never been a fan of New Year and can see why christmas is particularly tough for you barking. For me, last christmas eve mc 5 was discovered, days after a good 9 week scan, and for new year I was getting over the erpc. Not the best.

peq so sorry to hear about your arm! Nightmare. Hope the op ends up changing things in a more positive way very soon.

Sorry all, been a bit remiss at keeping on top of this thread recently (actually been forced to do quite a lot of work, so can't reply as much during office hours as i normally would)

Welcome rainbow, but sorry you have need to be here. Hopefully coventry will be a positive step forward for you. I would call them at peak, which is equivalent to just the normal positive on the standard opks. Good luck!

spam, fingers crossed for you x

pop, sorry you're struggling through those awful first few weeks, which truly feel like wading through treacle. They are horrendous. I also had disappearing symptoms shortly before my 6wk scan after nausea earlier on. I was completely convinced the baby was gone, came on here posting that i was miscarrying again and making plans for how i would deal with it. Then felt like a right numpty (albeit a very relieved one) when i was proven completely incorrect upon seeing the hb.

What you are feeling is totally normal and unfortunately I don't think we can avoid it. Everything in our past experience of pregnancy had been deleted and replaced with this worst case scenario version where every scan and doppler check ends in bad news.

But. Lots of things are different for you this time with the medication (and new egg, new sperm etc), and so this doesn't have to be the worst case scenario. It can be the best case scenario, but what's more difficult to change with medication is your thoughts and fears, so those you just have to manage as they come along and club you from behind.

I think an early scan is a very good idea. Hopefully they will see the hb and you'll be over that first hurdle (although try not to worry if it's not there, as it could be too early to see it). Big hugs from me. Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you xx

hels, minnie and anyone else who has been having the 'should we shouldn't we' conversation, god it's hard to keep going sometimes isn't it. I think after my 4th and 5th losses I started to seriously question myself. Ultimately I knew as long as I was getting pg I hoped I would carry on - dp isn't the best at discussion so was ok agreeing to keep trying if I reckoned I could hack it. If this one goes wrong now I don't know if I could continue though, and I suppose you just go with what you feel at the time. Prof B did say most people get there in the end, which I took great heart from, and I tried to avoid looking at too many stats, but those I saw didn't change my mind. If onwards is where you're going, then I'm willing you on - there is still plenty of hope x

sal welcome, so sorry for your losses and failed ivf. As others have said, don't feel guilty for so desperately wanting a sibling for your ds, I have a 4.5 yr old ds and totally get it. I get the guilt too but it's another way of torturing ourselves so try not to go there. I went to coventry because it was really the only private route we could afford after exhausting all the nhs could offer. For 360 pounds they will see you as many times as needed - still alot of money I know. I had a further mc under them, but am now 24 wks on the same protocol (progesterone, prednisolone, heparin). I'd say it's worth it.

mrsd 28 weeks is great! As is 18 mrsc! Fear still there with me too - unable to think as a 'normal' pg person.

consider sorry it's still ongoing and hope it's over soon.

bumble what a sad story about your cousin. God life can be shit

emerald hope you are ok post op

barking hope the yoga was good and it somehow helped your head a bit.

Argh sorry for mammoth post and anyone not mentioned. Waving to all x