Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

I managed to read yesterday night but was too tired to post. Currently waiting for the washing machine to finish so I can hang the washing before going to bed so I have a bit of time...

onestep how is the new house? All boxes unpacked and everything where it should be?

Great scan news Flen

monten have you had any more bleeding today? Are they going to do a blood test at epu or is it just up to you to test for a bfn?
I totally agree on the mc and women's issues not being as high profile.

noodle glad it's better now you're not at work

kazz some raspberry leaf tea (available at all normal supermarkets with the herbal teas) might help clear out the system if there's anything left?

patience sounds like you have a lovely support system round you.

Emerald Slow scan news this week, a flurry of scans always makes the thread busy!!

I'm just dragging myself through to the end of a horrible week. Can't believe it's 2 weeks since losing the embryo and having the damaged one transfered, and a week since the first bfn. What a fucking awful fortnight! I've got past the hormone crash now and I'm feeling slightly more mentally balanced . Totally exhausted and can't wait to crash out tomorrow night, but got a busy weekend. Just got back from visiting Dad in hospital and grilling the nurses. My brother, who was supposed to be visiting while my mum was away (the rest of the family plus my grandma went on holiday as planned this week) doesn't seem to have done anything useful (didn't even tell me he'd moved beds so I got a shock when I turned up to the usual bed and it wasn't my dad in it) so I've taken home all his pyjamas to wash as he's now in hospital stuff, and I've got his kindle to charge and add books to, and I'll go back on Saturday and visit again, Mum should be back for the evening visit. Just one more stupid o'clock dog walk, one more ridiculously busy day at work, then it's the weekend.... And DH is home on Sunday .

Great scan news flen :)

Patience glad you have been well taken care of. Night times always seem longer to me after mc. I resorted to sleeping pills from my gp last time to help me shut my overactive mind down reboot.

barking you've nearly made it through the week. One final push. . .

This weekend can't come round soon enough if you ask me.

Glad it's nearly Sunday and you will get to see dh again soon barking. Such a horrendous time for you while he's been away xx

Yes, emerald, it seems like a lot of people are now just posting on fb. It makes me a bit sad, and i find it so hard to keep up with the flow of conversation there somehow!

kazz, if you are worried then please do get checked out, but chances are if your hcg had got down to close to 5 when you had the blood test, it's most likely that it's all gone. Normally a continuing positive pg test is the sign that you have retained products (and was what happened with me). I was surprised at how little actual matter came out with my earlier losses, compared to the slightly later ones where there was very obviously a sac. But definitely don't sit and worry, better to get yourself checked than stress about it xx

Morning! Thank God it's Friday and not long now Barking till your dh is back, feels like a horrible long fortnight you've suffered. Bet that was a shock finding your Dad had moved beds, hope he's doing ok.

Monten was wondering how you are, hope you're starting to recover abit. I must get one of those adult colouring books I keep hearing of them.

March yes it does seem a shame, nice to see everyone faces on there but I find it hard to follow all the different comment threads there, much easier here in one place. I think I'll try and stick to here, also so newbies can find us as I did 7wks ago.

My af has stopped, was only 2 days really, is this normal? Last one was around 5 days proper bleeding. I'm now having thoughts that I'm heading for early menopause

Morning all. Emerald I think AF is just horribly inconsistent post MC. I remember having what I thought was AF, only to then bleed again 2.5 weeks later. I think it sorts itself out in the end but it's hard to be going through.

monten bunker sounds perfect! Which colouring book do you have? On the look out for new ones....

barking that must have been a scary moment not finding your dad where you expected. It really has been a horrible couple of weeks for you, I'm so glad DH is nearly back.

TFI Friday barking! Not long now til DH will be in your arms and you in his . That must have been a bit scary for a second seeing someone else in yours dads bed! Hope the physiotherapy is still helping him.

Oooh them colouring books sound ace. I should treat myself to one and some nice pencils. I always try to 'help' DS do colouring in as its so therapeutic but he never lets me.

Jigsaws may be something else which helps pass time and keep the mind occupied.

kazz I agree, as your hcg has already dropped so much (and that you were only 4/5 wks along) I'd say it seems unlikely there could be more to come and be 'retained products'(sorry awful term).

emerald I agree that af after mcs can vary quite a bit before settling down. I don't think mine ever got back to 'normal' like they were before mcs but doesn't appear to be a problem.

Yes it does seem quieter on here since the fb group started. Although, like barking says, there's not been many scans this week which I think makes it less busy.

It's my 12wk scan on Monday. Most of the calmness from the last scan has worn off now. Back to feeling scared again...

monten not had any tests yet; what are the standard ones?

Thread is quiet, but no scans or consultant appointments, but in a crisis it still gets busy (monten's situation earlier this week is prime example). Although, i have to admit that i have been engaging in s very detailed discussion on the needs of curly hair!

So, only here can i talk periods - i'm wondering if i might have sacked the accupuncturist a bit early. Remember in july when i got upset she didn't really know what to do or say? And i just thought "bloody hell, not much of a therapis!" But then this month i ovulated on day 15, rather than 18 and got af on day 27 instead of 32 - which is much better. Could be because i am off school (not stressed) but wondering if a few months of accupuncture have finally paid off...

emerald your reference to 'adult colouring books' made me laugh, sounds rude! Can you imagine if it was colouring in porn .

Sorry to hear AF is worrying you. My periods have always been short but everything I've read has always said its not a problem. Any change is so unsettling though. As if miscarriage wasn't enough, we have to deal with the worry when our bodies mess us around. It might go back to 'normal' next month, but you could try l'arginine and Vit E to thicken the lining?

flen it's just one from sainsburys, think I might order a better one.

My bleeding is still going but slowed right down. Still showing positive on tests. I can go to the drop in clinic next week for a scan which I think I will do.

patience I don't know all the tests but when you get your referral to the RMC they will test for all the standard things. Many people's come back clear, as mine did. Your options then are to go private, to Coventry or to some of the other private clinics. I know that two of mine were chromosomal issues so I decided (at the time) it was bad luck and not to pursue further testing. Did you get any genetic testing done on your pregnancies? They don't normally offer it until after three, I was 'lucky' bcos the first was a TFMR so I knew the issue. The second I think they felt sorry for me bcos of the TFMR so they just offered it.

freckle so difficult to know about acupuncture. And it is expensive. I think a huge part of it is feeling supported/connected to your therapist tho so if you do go back maybe try and find a new one? Sorry about af

That must have been a horrible fright seeing someone else in your dads bed barking. You sound like you're looking after him really well. It's not nice seeing parents in hospital. You're having such a tough week and once again I am in awe of your strength

freckle It could well be that the acupuncture is having a delayed effect on your AF! I always think that any treatments targeting your cycles will take a while to get going. Do you think you might go back having more? Or wait what the next cycle does?

bumble We're scan buddies - I've got my 20-week scan on Monday!

barking You are amazing, you have so much on your plate! Hope you will have a lovely reunion with your DH - are you going to have a holiday together at some point soon! I think you could do with a break!

patience Glad to hear that you are being take of, how are you feeling mentally...?

Sorry for not more name-checking! Hope everyone is as OK as possible...
I am 20 weeks today and not entirely sure how that happened! On one hand, I feel I have been pg forever, on the other hand I can't believe I'm now half way! Anomaly scan on Monday, and hey, here's my old and reliable friend, scanxiety, popping up again... Wonder if I will ever be able to relax completely (probably not, but overall, it's definitely better than it used to be).

Wow cloud 20 weeks!! That's amazing, it seems to have flown!

And you too bumble you've come so far, just deep breaths and try and occupy your mind this weekend.

A masterpiece in making

OMG cloud that's made me tear up for some reason. I am so delighted for you and completely understand the scanxiety. I only felt ok for a few days after my scan last week, now I'm convinced it's gone wrong and once more I don't know what to do with myself.

Can you feel the baby move at all? I keep debating getting a Doppler but I know they can cause more worry if you can't hear the heartbeat.

sebs Yes, I have started to feel some small movements - very little and very irregular, nowhere near enough to reassure me yet, but so nice when I can feel them.
Like you, I was very tempted re Doppler, even though I am actually against them for home use. But that time between the 12 and 20 week scan is sooo long, and once the symptoms go, there is nothing else to reassure you! That's why I had the scan a 16 weeks, I think a Doppler would freak me out too much, they can cause so much unnecessary worry.

monten Great colouring. I secretly love 'helping' DS with colouring, but never thought I should get a book for myself...

I do have a scan at 16 weeks and one at 20 but the 1st September seems a million years away. Can I ask when you started feeling movements?

Brilliant colouring monten! Hmmmm porn colouring book! Ha ha! Who wants to google that one?!

Really hope you relax after your scan cloud! I thought I would a bit after 12 wk one but can't see that happening now. Hopefully after the 20wk one I will.
I've thought about getting a Doppler too but I kniw I would advise against it if anyone else was considering one.
sebs what about booking a private scan next wk, just to break up the wait til sep....?

freckle ooh sounds like the accupuncture may have helped, I definitely think it works as it's helped so many ladies on this thread. I agree it might be worth trying someone else who is more like a therapist though so you get two types of benefit from it.

My acupuncture didn't start changing things with my cycle til the second month freckle, so could well be that it's doing its thing now, although it sounds like a different practitioner might be more empathetic (and hopefully as successful).

I had 6 blissful hours virtually nausea free after acupuncture yesterday. Didn't believe it could be so effective (although shame it didn't last as long as she claimed it might). If only I'd known it for my previous spells of hg, could have had some much needed relief. Have you tried it for your nausea flen?

Great colouring monten

sebs 'Only' 2 more weeks until your scan But I know all too well how 2 weeks can seem a lifetime...
I started feeling movements about 2 weeks ago, at 18 weeks... But totally random, would feel something one day, then nothing for 2 days, then something again. Now it's definitely more pronounced, although still not reliably every day... Just one more thing to worry about! I bet once they are regular, I'll be freaking out if there are any gaps, sigh.

Some of today's comments have totally cheered me up! A porn colouring book! My personal trainer thought that was what an adult colouring book was when I mentioned it. I got a very strange look.

Anyway... I'm actually jealous... I've been using pencil crayons and it doesn't look as good. I may need to get me some big girl pens!

Big girl pens are so good. There's something especially therapeutic about the way the ink fills the space. Just using ordinary pens at the moment, might have to go out and buy some special expensive ones, to indulge in my other post - miscarriage activity, shopping.

All this talk about adult colouring books reminds me of a conversation I had once with someone about Christmas. We were talking about the Christmas traditions in our family and I said 'We usually buy my dad adult toys'. Her face was like . It took me a couple of moments to realise what she thought I had said. I meant, of course, that we bought him kids toys for grown ups (e.g an archery set) because what else do you buy a 60 year old retired man? 'Twas very funny

freckle defo worth seeing if you can find someone you feel more comfortable with. My acupuncturist has been on hol and while I have been seeing someone else, it's just not been the same...

march they have been focusing mainly on the bleeding rather than the nausea, but now that is subsided I'm going to ask him to help with that instead! I think it's getting a bit better, I have had a few blocks of time when I feel ok. Still vomiting every day though, mainly in the evenings and at night now. It's so lovely waking up to be sick!

sebs I can't imagine how it feels to have to wait so long. Hang on in there. xx

I have a great colouring book my friend brought back from France for me, it's called "chats du monde" and is basically cats doing very stereotypical nationality things (eg. cowboy cat for USA). Not the most PC in the world, but it makes me chuckle.

Monten lol oh yeah oops hadn't thought of the colouring book like that! Lol. The pic you put up is great! Def nothing like adult porn colouring book! Ha ha about your Christmas conversation! Ah it's good to have a laugh amongst all this MC stuff isn't it. Love the cat book one Flen! Glad you're feeling bit better, hate being sick.

Thanks for all af comments, trying not to worry about it too much. I've just started taking l'arginine to add to my ever growing collection!

Freckle I def think acupuncture helps, maybe have a few more sessions?

Good luck to Bumble and Cloud on your scans Monday!

I like the idea of an 'adult' colouring book - sadly it would really turn me! Reminds me of when i used to write the building work erratas for Thomas Cook holidays - i would try especially hard to get the word errection into them. And yes to big girl pens - that feeling of inky fluidity is so hypnotic - I highlight good parts of kids work in pink highlighter and where attention is needed in yellow. Sometimes i get carried away for this very reason...

I've got a Celtic colouring book, lots of Celtic knots - some of those knots look quite naughty if you look at them right - but use pencils to colour - too worried about going over the lines in pen .

I cracked and phoned RMC about another scan before we go away. The receptionist was really kind and stopped me feeling too silly for still worrying . Booked for the day we leave, 21st, couldn't get much closer! I hope once I'm away I'll relax about it....

bumble, cloud good luck for Monday's scans. I'll be thinking of you.

sebs hugs, do what you need to get through the days & weeks.

flen sorry you're still vomiting, it's so tough. Keep strong (you too march!)

kazz monten freckle I found every mc different in terms of bleeding, pain, and impact on AF cycles. I ended up with alternating 23 and 33 day cycles... But it still worked so try not to fret (easy to say....).

Off to bed for me after 8 hour round trip to funeral yesterday. Knackered. Love to all.

emerald I have AFs that are only one day of proper bleeding, and then others that are 5 days long. given I'm infertile that's hardly a comfort, sorry

Eeek, Bumble - 12 weeks already! obviously it won't have gone that quickly for you Offering a hand to get you through the weekend to Monday - what time is the scan?

And cloud - same to you! 20 weeks! And what time is your scan on Monday?

patience all the standard RMC tests are listed here:
Link to the RMC investigations information

freckle acupuncture can take a while to make a difference, patience and faith is required!

cloud I am finally getting a holiday next week! Going Tuesday night after work until Sunday - no idea where, just going to head off in the camper wherever the weather looks best!

monten giving your Dad adult toys - excellent!

I don't have a colouring book but we had doodle sheets cut from a book at our wedding as place mats, and colouring pencils in pots at the tables for people to draw with. Some people initially turned their nose up at the idea, but they all picked up the pencils....

MrsC great news you got another scan - well done

Well, IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!! I made it through a really shitty two weeks and now I have two days of no work, a lovely bike ride to look forward to, and the return of DH . Thanks for all your support over the last fortnight, couldn't have held it together without you all wipes away a tear