Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

barking you are amazing, well done you for surviving this really tough few weeks. I'm in awe of your generosity, wisdom, humour and courage.

Ditto

Awh Barking I just got proper excited that DH is back Sunday. bit even my husband and I've never met you. what you've coped h
through is amazing! dont ever underestimate your own strength xxx

Very strong lady Barking

So i have a difficult choice to make and was hoping for some opinions. I hope this doesn't seem insensitive but i just wasn't sure the pg after mc board would fully get my anxiety.
I have a scan on Tuesday (9wks). If all is ok, I think she will suggest another in 2weeks, but we are on holiday for the whole week. Do i ask for one just before we go (a week and a half after this scan), or do i wait until my dating scan when I'm back (3weeks after this scan). On the one hand, i would love the reassurance of a good scan just before we go, but if it was bad news it would most likely mean that we wouldn't get to go on holiday, as i wouldn't want to travel knowing that a mc at 11+ wks was coming, possibly whilst away. I'm leaning towards not having one, but then what if it happened and i wasn't prepared? Argh. Wish i could just blindly assume everything was fine

March I had a scan booked just before our holiday. My thinking was that if I needed an ERPC I would rather know sooner than later. We were holidaying in the UK so I knew it was quite cancelable and the fact it was good news ended up helping the holiday go well.

However if it was an expensive holiday abroad I might just go, have the scan when I came home and stock up on pads and painkillers to take with me 'just incase'.

So pleased your DH is back tomorrow barking, just one more sleep!! Glad you have a holiday next week too, it will be lovely for you to spend time together and to have a break. Love the idea of just driving out in your camper van with no plans!

Gone quickly? Ha! It's been the longest 2 months of my life. My app is at 9.40 but includes meeting with consultant and bloods etc (I think) so not sure how long it will take, good its first thing though. I'm obviously a bit nervous and scared, but at the same time I daren't think/imagine it being bad. So just telling myself it will be ok...
Sorry for whinging about this on here when so many of you on here are going through really tough times!

Hmm I can see why you're not sure march. Personally I think I'd be inclined to have the scan before because I'd struggle with the 3 wk wait, but that's just me. Chances are, it will be a good scan. Sorry not much help from me!

Thanks mrsC/March/Kazz/Emerald but I'm no stronger than anyone else - you just have to keep wading through the shit life throws at you, don't you? It's just a good job I've got some lovely Hunter wellies to make it a bit easier

March it's not insensitive at all, I can't imagine a place where anyone could better understand your dilema! It's a really tricky one. Am I right in thinking that your 'danger point' is anything up to 8 weeks? If I'm right, then I would take the 9 week scan and then go on holiday, determined to believe this was all going to be okay - I'm sure someone on here said the 8 week scan was the best indicator that everything was going to be okay, when you get your good scan at 9 weeks you'll be past the point it's ever gone wrong in the past, so that should be some reassurance? (Please note I am aware of the weight of the 'some' in that sentence!)
Having said that, I would be equally confident at a good 9 week scan given your history that a good 10.5 week scan would happen, so this might reassure you before you go?

That was really unhelpful, sorry.
When I can't make a decision like that I ask the nurse and go with what they tell me!

bumble I'll start sending extra positive vibes at 9am Monday

Argh, just wiped two tissues full of light brown. Panic.

Oh mrsc it's never easy . Brown is old blood though, could be anything. Definitely does not mean the worst. Hand holding

Have my hand mrsc. Is probably absolutely nothing. Remember all the many women on this thread who have had spotting and everything be okay. How far along are you (sorry I've forgotten)

MrsC this is one of my fears and I expect it everyday. I also can't remember how far along you are but I'm sure you've just had a good scan, yes?

If it were me I would be booking a private scan and getting my arse there this weekend to see what they could see. If the baby is fine then can they see any other reason for blood etc? I'm not saying you should do this btw, I just know I wouldn't be able to wait until Monday to contact the midwife or EPAU.

Just to add are you absolutely sure it's coming from your foof and not your bum? The amount of times I've assumed the worst to realise it's the pessaries irritating my internal piles and causing occasional bleeding.

11+4 by ov date monten although NHS reckoned 12+2 (long baby as I'm sure in ov date, and didn't dtd before then!). My head knows lots of people have spotting but my heart is terrified

Hand holding mrsc. Really hoping it's just a little cervix irritation or the back end. Are you using prog still?

Hand holding mrsC. Have you done anything strenuous which may have stretched your stomach? I had a small bleed with DS just after my 12wk scan and I think it was because if been painting and stretching my stomach too much. I think mws are less concerned with brown as its old and therefore the bleed may have already finished ifyswim. Hoping it stops soon. X

Thank you barking

Argh been locked out of here for some reason but finally sorted new password out.

mrsC sorry you're having the brown blood scare. Could it be ,like bumble said, that you've been over doing it? I had a bleed with ds at about 13 weeks as we had some friends coming and I spent all day cleaning the house. So sorry you've got the worry but brown is more than likely old blood.

barking 24 hours to go! You must be so relieved that dh is home soon. You've had the worst few weeks and have been a superstar to get through it.

monten love the idea of colouring books. It's such a girl thing! The girls in my class love colouring while the boys couldn't care less. Lego all the way for them. And at the thought of your friends face when you said you bought your dad adult toys!

bumble good luck with the scan. I'm absolutely positive you'll be fine!

cloud 20 weeks! Wow that's brilliant and so good you can feel the baby too. So reassuring. I got a Doppler when I had ds but I found it a bit stressful and I wouldn't use it if this one keeps going (I say now)

marchglad the acupuncture helped the sickness for a while. On the scan I think I'd wait till after Tues. if everything looks fine I might be tempted to try and wait, especially if that's past your danger time. Such a hard decision because waiting can be torture but I found my holiday did take my mind off the wait for me.

freckle sounds like it could be the acupuncture working. It took about 4 months for it to work on my cycles. Though I do think stress with a parent at work had kicked me into some super short cycles (12 days!) a couple of times.

Afm I'm 8 weeks today and have had no nausea today at all. So obviously that means it's all over. I had to use some steroid eye drops the other day (I get really bad allergic conjunctivitis). I was told by my consultant that it was ok to use them in my last pg but I've checked dates and I used them two days before the baby died at mc3. Could they have caused the abnormalities? I've googled and in the U.S. they won't give the drug (dexamethasone) to pg women as it caused birth defects and fetal death () in rabbits. It is used in IVF in the U.S. though?! I know topical things are different to actually taking the drug but a little bit must pass across surely! Clearly that combined with my lack of nausea pretty much guarantees this is over too. I've got a scan on thurs and am absolutely dreading it. If it's died it will be completely my fault. Struggling a bit this week.

bumble am all digits crossed for you for Monday.

march I'd go for one just before the holiday, then you can relax and count down til the next one. But that's just me!

mrsc I think, like the others have said, it sounds like old blood. Any chance you can get an emergency scan over the weekend to put your mind at rest?

barking hope you have a lovely meet up with your dh and well done for making it.

Waves to the rest of you. I'm off up to Northumberland for a week of hols with dh and da. Can. Not. Wait. Please have an uneventful week, everybody. Xxx

minnie, it will be ok. And if it's not ok then it is absolutely and categorically not your fault. Topical meds are very different to ones you actually absorb as they are not in the bloodstream the same way. Please try not to worry about those eye drops. The steroids that I'm taking have a small possibility of causing cleft palate, but I'm still taking them, and in a hugely larger dose than yours. I know it's hard not to worry about every little thing but i really feel like this is your time. 8 weeks already. Wow. Hand holding for Thursday. Another big scan week next week. Eek.

Oh minnie please try not to worry. My sickness has come and gone loads with this pg, and each time I thought 'oh shit, please come back'. It tended to go on the days leading up to a scan, then returned afterwards, but then some days just weren't as bad, maybe because I was eating so much it helped, dunno...
I don't know about the eye drops but it seems so unlikely that any would pass to the baby. Also, I'm sure your consultant wouldn't have ok'd them if there was any risk whatsoever, and if there was any small risk, he would have told you.
How are your other symptoms, tiredness? Boobs? Twinges/aches? Needing a wee? Hunger? One thing that helped me when my sickness faded was to remember that it isn't the only symptom and there are many others too.

minnie it is so horrible when every little thing gets in and turns into huge, rampaging fear. Hang on in there til Thurs. FWIW my nausea has ebbed and flowed, and also in pregnancies that I lost, my nausea continued. It's just so hard weathering the worries that any change brings.

mrsc that sounds very similar to the bleeding I've had. I know there are no hard and fast rules so it's impossible to think "oh this bleed is fine". I agree with the others, book in for a scan if you can. Hugs, I know it's so scary.

minnie x posts, sorry. I really hope the scan on Thursday reassures you that everything is going ok. I have no idea about the eye drops, I'm afraid but I'm sure they'll be ok. X

Hey all, just popping in to see how you're all doing. Sorry I haven't been around much recently

Hugs minnie - am sure your consultant wouldn't have ok'd the drops if there was any risk, so really don't worry about those. As for the no morning sickness, I haven't had any at all and am 19 weeks tomorrow, so really doesn't mean anything lovely.

mrsc - don't panic hun. Easier said than done, I know. If it was me I would definitely book a private scan just to reassure self that all was ok. Is there somewhere near you that you could go this weekend? Really hoping that it's nothing, but completely understand the fear when you see blood.

march - hhm tricky one on the scans. I'd probably be tempted to go for one before the hols so that you can properly enjoy the time away.

barking - one more sleep until dh back - yay!!

cloud - ooh good luck with the scan on Monday! And bumble too. I have my 20 week on Thursday and the fear is just starting to creep in now...

Hugs all. X