Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

Blimey I've missed loads!!!!!!!

Loopy hah I defo don't have twins. I was getting my bloods done and was sat in the waiting room at 4.15 exactly and I was number 32. I was sat on the seats directly facing the white board where Mr Watts name was and they come through the door to get you. Laura, his nurse actually came to get someone just before I went to get bloods gone.

I was in black leggings and floaty white top with long/shoulder length blonde hair. (Had to think about that!)

Re improving your lining, have you tried acupuncture? How far is Solihull for you? Michael Gorman was amazing!!! I had a thin lining and I felt he really helped (plus the 2 eggs every single day)

I'm pleased with my cervix but I'm in a bit of a tizz about something and I am so so sorry if this is insensitive - I don't mean to be as I'm bloody grateful to be here.

Since my mc's, I've lost confidence in my body, Mother Nature all that shit. Mc 2 was fucking brutal. The pain, the blood, nurses checking between your legs to see how much blood you've lost. Just horrendous. I'm frightened. Really scared. I lost 3 babies, how can I count on doing naturally when I failed to do exactly that?

Anyway due to this I've decided I want an ECLS, as I'm not sure after everything I've been through I can go through much else. Plus not entirely convinced my cervix is going to play ball. I want to be in a controlled environment with a consultant getting my baby out.

I do not want to be on my back, legs in stirrups, frightened, unable to cope with the pain, with the whole world and his fucking wife staring up my fanjo and someone whips out a pair of salad servers and I get ripped front to back.

I've been through too much. I'm not sure I can do it.

Anyway told consultant this and admittedly he did say if I wanted an ECLS he would book me in at my 32 week appt but he wants me to think long and hard about it, the risks etc

I'm feeling like the consensus is I should be doing it naturally. But honestly , after everything, I'm scared to death. Really frightened because I am not confident it will go well. It hasn't so far, why should now be any different.

I'm so sorry, I know this makes me insensitive and I really don't mean to, but I'm stressed already and it could be a long few months.

Hope I haven't offended anyone with my babbling

Barking hoping the new thread fairy gets you!!!!

Baking I would love to go to Bestival!!!! Glad little Faith is doing ok

brummie I personally don't think it's insensitive. Do what you got to do to get that baby out safely, and you as relaxed as possible.
To be honest, I'm thinking down the same lines, for a similar reason. If/when I'm lucky enough to get that far, I think I want everything to be as controlled as possible.

Sounds like you've already had a good think about it, and I don't think any less of you. You've been brave enough to get this far, it's your body,and only you have the right to make that decision.

Brummie I felt exactly the same as you. Fought tooth and nail with various consultants to get the go ahead for an elected ceaserean. Then something really weird happened halfway through the pregnancy, I had a total change of heart. My son had done everything so beautifully up to that point that I felt he deserved to finish the job and come out the bonnet. I think it was hormonal, oxytocin or something, I just suddenly came over all Earth Mother, got myself a Doula and a birthing pool and started listening to whale song .

So whilst I think you have every right to ask for the delivery of your choice, don't be surprised if you totally change your mind at some point.

The only other thing I was told is that a cesarean can create scar tissue in the uterus that can for some women impeded the likelyhood of a subsequent pregnancy. Now I know right now that you think you will only have one child, but you still have time to have two or even three and it might be something you want to consider.

Brummie, ikwym. I never asked for a c-section but I wasn't too sad when it was offered and then turned out to be essential in the end. I think you need to take advice on what's best for you, with your history, nearer the time. C-section saves some problems, but it creates others; its major surgery and you will still get the styrups, and the audience in theatre. You'll struggle to stand up for a week and won't be able to drive for 6. I'm not really trying to dissuade you, but thought you'd want to know the reality of a c-section. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about it. I'm happy that I had one, but there were downsides. xx

Sorry claire, i knew I'd managed to miss someone off. Sorry. I'll add you to the list x

Thanks all. My sister has offered to go through ALL the options with the pros and cons. She can be quite balanced in that she's the medical professional but she's also my sister and knows me.

Her only advice is that she worries about my "low pain threshold and coping with the aftermath of a c section" and admittedly she's not wrong. But that also plays a part in worrying I won't cope with the pain during a vb.

Sebs I actually really like the idea of a water birth - i think my fear is that I will attempt that and it will be a disaster and I won't cope and they'll make me get out and before you know it, it's forceps.

My consultant actually said the exact same thing, he said I'm frightened because I'm still in the scary part of pregnancy and the memories of the mc's are still very recent. He said I need to get time to believe my body can do this and actually when I feel the baby kick I could well change my mind and want whale music!

He was lovely and openly said "if you want a c section, you can absolutely have it but I need you to think about what you REALLY want, the risks and make sure you understand them.

Just i think in a way I would love someone to just make the decision for me!!! No such luck though

brummie I don't think you're insensitive at all to be thinking the things you are. You've had a hard road to get where you are and, not surprisingly, want to make sure you have a healthy baby at the end of the journey. Like sebs and your consultant said you still have s while to go before you need to make a decision and who knows how you'll feel later. I think it's quite sensible to think of all the options. For me I was totally crapping myself at the fear of childbirth pain and, as my labour progressed very slowly to 4cm it was a while before I was allowed any major pain relief (even though the midwives admitted my contractions 'must be very painful as they're really strong' - yeah tell me about it!) Anyway my point is that in the end an epidural worked wonders and though I had to have a forceps delivery (ds had a big head!) it was absolutely fine and I had no problems at all afterwards. And I'm glad I didn't have to deal with the aftermath of the caesarean which was mentioned when I got stuck at 9cm. I'm terrible with pain and think I'd have struggled a lot with it. I realise though that every birth and person is different and you need to do what is best for you and what you feel you can cope best with. You will come to the decision that's right for you. (Sorry for that ginormous post!)

brummie it's going to be your experience, and everyone is different. I think it's worth thinking about the fact that your body is doing brilliantly right now, and you may feel differently about it as time goes by. just makes some really good points about c-sections and whatever you decide you definitely need all the information. There are always great stories and horror stories about all different types of birth, and no-one can be certain which way things will go. Ultimately, you know yourself and what you want - and there are no wrong choices, just a goal to aim for - doesn't matter how you get there, it just has to be right for you.

flen massive hand hold for tomorrow lovely, everything crossed and I have a good feeling about this (for what it's worth!) X

snoopy if you are lurking, hope you are OK and taking the time you need x

Thanks all. I really appreciate it. I know some of you are in horrendous places at the moment.

Good luck tomorrow Flen!!!

And thanks march for doing the stats - you're a wonder, and barking for the new thread.

Sorry about the last thread Sasha, needs must . desperate

brummie can I recommend the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs ( tracks available on iTunes) ? They are really good for giving you back some confidence and PMA. Csection may still feel like the right choice for you, but hopefully you would be choosing it from a better place. Start with pregnancy relaxation, then there are different tracks for home birth, hospital birth, VBAC, Csection etc. I think I still have the pregnancy relaxation and hospital birth CDs, would be delighted to pass them on if it would help? I'll have a look for them tomorrow.

MrsB yes still good for October. What is your job again? Hope today was better for you.

Sparkles I can't answer your question either but I wouldn't have thought a scan could cause that. The first MC sounds like maybe connected to thyroid problems? As they test for that. So sorry to hear of your losses

Flen sorry your spotting is back, hope that Thursday can bring peace of mind again

onestep your scan and MC Xmas day sounds horrendous what an awful cruel thing to happen, do you think it caused it? Damn missed that program, wonder if it's on iplayer?

March when you say the prof says keep going with early ones, do you mean early MC? Think this is my problem with chromosome issues but we will see. I think it's much more heartbreaking to hear it was a viable egg and then something goes wrong due to issue in the body like nk cells

Bumble glad scan went well yay!

Barking hope this new thread is successful for you! I would have no clue how to start a new thread and post link, but I might try one day it seems so lucky!

Brummie. completely understand where you're coming from with ELCS and if I'm ever lucky enough to be pg again I am def opting for it too. Had emergency before with general anaesthetic and I just need to feel this is safest outcome. The pain after my op was horrendous though and couldn't move well at all at first. It's so hard isn't it, but go with what you feel is best for you.

I'd be up for that Sasha but also no idea how to set it up!

Sasha I think that's a great idea! I'm up for it. As long as it's private and not open to all my general 'friends' to see as a lot don't know. I've neglected fb lately as always on here!

Me 38, DH 42???
1st MMC May 2011 - 7 weeks, miscarried at 10 weeks???
DS May 2012 - placenta praevia but other than that, all ok???
2nd MMC Feb 2014 - 5/6 weeks, miscarried at 7 weeks???
3rd MMC June 2014 - 5/6 weeks, miscarried at 12 weeks.
4th MMC February 2015 - no heartbeat at 20 week scan. Induced labour and gave birth to dd at 20+4. ?Have since been for lots of tests in lots of places and, thanks to the 'One in Four' book have now pretty much come to terms with the APS diagnosis from Liverpool after months of umming and ahhing and being in denial about it.

Hello ladies! Just a quick check-in. Apologies for absence but I have been reading and following all the goings on. I was totally head down towards the end of the summer term trying to just make it to the end and since then have been enjoying some lovely time off with the family. I am actually starting to feel normal again!

Welcome to all the new members. I am so very sorry for all of your losses.

Congrats on all the bfp’s and amazing scan newses since I last checked in. Am soooooo pleased for you all. I hope this new thread brings lots more.

brummie my midwife once pointed out, with deadpan Yorkshire humour, that whichever option you choose it's probably going to hurt. I had to have a c/s with ds because of the low lying placenta and I thought it was fine. In fact, as a control freak, I liked knowing exactly when I was going into hospital and when everything was going to happen. Am so pleased you're starting to even think about this!

Sasha we have a fb group for the infertility thread, it's a secret group so it doesn't come up in a search, you have to be added to it by an admin (you can be invited by email address, you don't have to be 'friends')
I'd be happy to be an admin.

Still can't sleep, this has been the last three days of waking up at stupid o'clock .
Considering testing tomorrow to put myself out of my misery. I'd be 12dpo.

sasha secret fb page sounds great idea, I would be more than happy to help out x

barking it must be so difficult for you holding out until Sat. do whatever you need to do. best of luck, hope your bearing up xx

Good luck Flen today x

Good luck Flen today. Hypnobirthing tracks sound great.

Will defo look in to that. I guess I need to research. I'm the kind of person who craves knowledge - I have to know everything!!! Thanks to peeps being honest about ECLS pain afterwards. It is a consideration I should defo think about.

But I agree, mc has definitely made me lose confidence. It's due date number 3 on Friday as well

Anyway, Sasha I love a bit of fb action so would love to join a private group. If you want me to be an admin let me know