Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

So sorry I can't keep up on here. So... my bleeding has now stopped. it's been less than a period which worries me. I've bought some raspberry leaf tea. Will this help clear things out for me? I'm so worried about retaining stuff and it starting up on holiday!

Just moved house yesterday exhausted.com. ....have just done the quickest skimming through about 10 Pgs of this thread.!!!

So much going on and there's so much I want to say and contribute but the brain is exhausted this evening.

monten I am so sad for you, I have been there time and time again too. It makes me sooooo angry (but not if you know what I mean) that we have to ask for advice here, that it's not given to us by our Dr's/hospital about what to expect, how to manage miscarriage, the pain the shock. I had to call an ambulance at 2am in the morning after losing my 12 wk mmc in a local urgent care centre. I was having severe panic attacks, awoke soaking wet with cold sweats, shaking it was the worst. We are left to just middle through. But what if like post natal depression where some are feeling too weak to deal with the symptoms and do something to endanger themselves, we're left with out own fight or flight mechanisms, which when you're on your knees with pain, depression, anger and anxiety those mechanisms don't always kick in. It's frightening the support just isn't there.

Barking to quote Freckle christ on a bike You are one strong woman, you have been through so much!! I just want to hug everyone.

Everyone currently pregnant, huge big bear hugs and wiling you all on, you can do this!!!

I wanted to see the meteor shower tonight the skies have cleared here too, but thumb is not gonna hold out much longer typing on my iPhone 4, and eyes are drooping!!... signing out and falling in to bed. Saying prayers for all. Xxxxx

Whoop to flen and mrsc! X

Great news Flen and MrsC.

Thinking of all those going through tough times .

Great scan news flen and MrsC

onestep yes I've often reflected how shit it is we are left to get on with it. Massive caveat- I think we should be extremely proud of having a free at point of use health service and it is a wonderful thing. HOWEVER. The nhs just does not do joined up, holistic care. I understand miscarriage is not a uncommon, but they treat it as a commonplace medical occurrence and nit the personal tragedy it is. There is no continuity of care. No follow up. After my MCs I would have benefited so much from s follow up appointment with a consultant to talk about what had happened and to answer any questions. Instead you're left to get on with it, wondering if what you're experiencing is normal. It's just bad. And faintly misogynistic I think. I don't believe the system would be the same, nor the culture of taboo around miscarriage and early pregnancy would exist if men went through it.

kazz so sorry about your bleeding slowing down. Did you try the tea? I'm no expert, but if you miscarried at 5 weeks then I think light bleeding sounds fairly normal. I know tanny had early losses with very light bleeding. Can you self refer to your EPU? Mine have said I can come in as a walk in to have a follow up scan. Might be worth it?

How are you doing noodle? Sending you hugs. As others have said, please don't get disheartened by some of the histories on this thread. We are not the norm and the likelihood is your next pregnancy will be trouble free

vicki welcome. Your history sounds v similar to mine. Ttc no 1 for 2.5 years, three losses along the way. It's really really crap. There's a poster on here called longestlurkerever who had PCOS and took Agnus castus for it. Have you heard of that?

How are you doing barking? Not long now till Mr barking is home. Thinking of you.

Fab scan news flen and mrsc.

As for me, my bleeding seems to have tailed off. I've had only one small clot. The rest has just been bright red blood. Is that okay? I've obviously passed the fetus but worried there is still placental tissue remaining.

monten glad the bleeding is tailing off, I think each one is so different it's hard to say what's normal, but that seems ok to me! I absolutely agree with your NHS comments, I also think it's crazy there isn't a more holistic approach, especially about some of the vitamin deficiencies and research...

Poas this morning, still showing positive, obviously, it's only been four days.

noodle completely understand not wanting to test and see a positive. I would recommend you test before you DTD again. I've seen so many women going through heartbreaking waits not knowing if a positive test is a new pregnancy or remnants of an old one. FWIW, after my 12 week TFMR my period arrived 7 weeks later xx

Mrs C i missed your good scan news - very relieved for you.

Am now using the mn ap and the format is different to what i'm used to and what with adding fb into the mix i'm sure i'm missing posts

Monten, i couldn't agree more. Faint whiff of of good ol' misogynism coats it all. I can also hear their thoughts "bloody irrational horemonal women". Just makes me want to smash their faces in!

100% agree with the male medical bias... mc isn't a priority because it happens to women and you don't die from it.

Having said that, I found out that anaesthetis are trained to do epidurals on men getting prostate operations, and can only do them on pg women once they've got the hang of it on the men...

Morning ladies. My biggest concern Monten is that the bleeding has been lighter than my usual period. Although there is the possibility it seems different because I've obviously been using pads during the miscarriage but would usually use tampons during my period (Sorry if tmi) so maybe my periods aren't as heavy as I think! grrrrr... this is all so shit.

I've had the same conversation with DH about how mc would be treated differently if it was men that suffered them...!

hi everyone

kazz i really hope that its the end of the bleeding for the 'right' reason - there arent the right words in the dictionary to describe these situations so i hope you know what i mean! I am now just getting pinky blood when i wipe so i know how you feel, hoping its the end for me too - im just downing raspberry leaf tea

i picked up my 12w scan photo today and i feel like i can now begin to grieve for my baby because i have something 'tangible' to grieve over seeing as we cant have a funeral. I feel like i can channel my grief in a concrete way if that makes sense and hopefully this will help me to work through the feelings that dont help like anger and confusion. So although that sounds negative its a positive for me . Also think not being at work today is doing me the world of good!

your forum is so lovely that those of you who are pregnant come back and post - you give me hope!

Kazz I would see about getting a scan to see if it's all gone or not? That's what I did after mc1, with that I was only 5wks but bled heavily and on and off for few days. But think everyone is different.

Barking how are you holding up now? Nearly weekend.

Noodle I'm glad for you that you have your photo and that this is a positive for you and is helping you in some way. I hope you can now process all the feelings and grief like you say. Very brave.

Waves to all! Also finding it hard keeping up here and fb!

Well af came so was 30 day cycle, not bad just 3days longer than normal. I've been trying to book my saline scan up but waiting to hear back as the docs are all on holiday! (How selfish), so even private I've been told I might have to wait till next month. Kicked up a fuss then as don't want to wait a month just because they are on holiday! also added l'arginine to my pile of supplements now (no idea if all of them together have a counter productive effect)? And I feel bit odd today like headache and blood flow increase, is this normal? Maybe just connected to my af. I'm going to start ov kits again this month to see if I'm ovulating along with temping.

That's my concern. I'm going to go and push for a scan on Monday. I'm not sure if our local EPU is just drop in.

Hi everyone,

Just checking in. Have been laying low for a few days trying to get through this...

A couple of my friends, my angel of a mother, and lovely DP have been godsends tbh. Shouldn't forget my DF too has been calling in regularly to check on me or take me for lunch.

Have done my own head in by reading a billion things re RMC. Upside is I am armed with knowledge and questions for consultants. I am going to stop researching now though (not good for my anxiety levels) and leave stuff to the experts...

barking, monten, kazz and noodle have been thinking of you - hope you're all doing okay - it's helped to share this shitty burden with such lovely, strong women.

Congratulations on the good scan news flen and mrsc!

Hope everyone else is doing okay too...

Ps things have been pretty plain sailing after the erpc... A few aches and pains, minimal bleeding and that's it. Psychologically, it's not been too bad this way.

patience I'm glad to hear that you've been taken good care of at home
Good to hear that things are settling well after your ERPC- how was your post GA sleep? I slept for 12 hours fully clothed!
You asked a few days ago if anyone had gone mixed NHS and private routes- I saw a consultant privately in April after MC 2. He referred me back to my GP for blood tests- full count and clotting screen. He advised progesterone 400mg twice daily and folic acid 5mg from next bfp.
Take care

PS the sonographer was evil to be mean about your age, you have nothing at all to be concerned about there...infact, it's a pretty good age to be

Thanks fifi :) which consultant did you see? (No obligation to disclose if preferred!)

Oh, re the sleep - my insomnia has been so bad even the GA didn't wipe me out! :s

Patience glad to hear you've got good friends and family around you taking care of you. That's so important. Hope you start to feel better soon and things not so raw. Hugs x

Im abit thrown, thread is moving slower, has everyone disappeared to Facebook?!

Hi emerald yes it is and yes I think a lot of people now stay mainly on FB. It's a shame.

patience good to hear from you. I'm keeping a low profile too, when I'm distressed I like to go in my bunker and shut the world out. I spent today listening to podcasts and colouring in one of those grown up colouring in books! Its meditative and so good for keeping mind occupied but even i am going a bit stir crazy now. Need to start re-engaging with the world.

Have your had the standard RMC tests?