Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

freckle well the thread starting luck didn't work for me, so there's no chance I'm starting the next one with another round of tests and treatments coming up!

forest glad the tests were clear, good luck with the 2ww.

allmypaws I was told at my RMC clinic that recent research indicated aspirin could be a cause of mc, so I definitely wouldn't put it under 'wouldn't do any harm if taken and not needed'. I have a diagnosed blood clotting disorder yet one of the consultants said she still wouldn't risk it as it could do more harm than good.

bootles / flen I hope the time until your 20 week scans moves as quickly as possible and you can get a little closer to being normal pg women who don't have to deal with all this horrible and unfair anxiety.

I'm in work tomorrow so home in front of the tv while DH (who isn't) is in the pub. Finally got time to report back on the rest of the consultant appointment having got my head (sort of) round the testing side!

Our results - my AMH 7 - he said that was 'low', and my antral follicle count (7 on the left, 8 on the right) was 'low' as well. DH's sperm analysis showed 51 million in 2ml, motility was 47% and morphology 12%. He said that was all 'normal' but I've seen higher figures as 'normal' online.

On the basis of this, and because I had two leading follicles last time, he said he'd do long protocol so they'd all start at baseline together and grow more evenly, and they'd also have more control over my cycle. I'll be on suprecor and then 300 of menopur.
I asked about ec and he said I'd be on temazepam + diclofenac + gas and air, + local anathestic so I was happy with that! He was very surprised I was awake for it all last time, but DH confirmed I was talking and counting eggs all the way though grin.

He talked about recent research and the clinic's own success rates showing that frozen cycles have a slightly better chance, and produce healthier and bigger babies with less complications. They offer an 'elective freeze of the embryos' (which costs more money, obviously...) but said that was up to us. Obviously having lost one embryo in the freeze and the other being damaged, I have concerns about freezing anyway, but he said their freezing success rates are 90% not 70-80% quoted by the NHS clinic.

So, the fresh vs frozen debate continues...

Thanks for all the advice and congrats girls...will discuss everything will doctor tomorrow (although they are pretty much useless) hmmm, perhaps not aspirin then, odd as I've only heard good things about it...maybe ill just try and push for progesterone? Or push to have my progesterone levels checked throughout first few weeks to check all is normal?

Symptoms are pretty much zero today

barking I have no idea regarding the history of 'your story' but sounds like you're having a tough time,

Hello ladies - thanks again for your support - my ERPC is first thing tomorrow.
I have a little blog I add to now and again in case anyone wants a read. Its not all doom and gloom I promise. Today's post featuring comparisons with Navy SEALS hell week. Good analogy if you ask me;) encountermany.wordpress.com/2015/08/31/encountering-another-defeat/

hels good luck with the op tomorrow. Hope it's over quickly and you're home and being looked after before you know it. Just read your blog- it's great. Lovely to be able to get your thoughts out I think. I have posted about MC on FB. When I had mc3 I wrote a bit and put up a from a distance scan pic- I'd got so pissed off with seeing scan pics that I decided I'd do one too, explaining we'd lost a much wanted baby. (I'd also got sick of people asking when we were going to have another and telling me how awful it would be for ds to be an only child!) I got loads of lovely responses. It was actually pretty heartwarming and did make me feel a bit better (for a second). Won't do it again though- I think people would think oh not again!

paws might be worth a try for the prog or my local rmc clinic sometimes give hcg injections instead. Maybe that could be an option if you felt you needed to do something different. God knows what we'll do if we get to a next time. I might try the hcg instead.

barking IVF sounds like a monumental mindfuck! So many decisions to make even after you've made decisions. I don't know enough about the fresh v frozen debate to give a decent opinion but I can see why you'd be wary of the freeze. I think what's considered normal for sperm samples varies so much depending on what scale they use. When we had our tests a couple of years ago Dh was above average in the count and motility but morphology was only 1% after the first test. Shit in anyone's book! He did a second sample after how ever many weeks of zita west vitamen and taking vitamin c like there's no tomorrow and the morphology increased to 8%. The doctor said 4% was considered average- cue Dh saying he was twice the normal man so many times my ears began to bleed!

forest good luck for the tww (not looking forward to having to start all that again!)

flen good that your sickness is wearing off a bit. Hope it disappears properly soon- sickness and work are a bit crap. Hope your 20 week scan whizzes round too (you too bootles).

Afm cramping seems to have stopped and bleeding is getting a bit lighter. Last time it took three weeks to stop. It's only been a week so I think I'm trying to jump the gun by thinking it should be stopping any time soon. Pretty sure we'll try again so I just want to get this part over with and back on the ttc wagon as soon as we can. Although Dh has a few rugby weekends of drinking coming up so I'd imagine that's his swimmers buggered for a few months! Back at work on thurs too which is pissing me off as I should be on maternity leave for mc3 now, not going through mc bloody 4!

minnie thanks for the info, will see what doc says tomorrow! You poor thing, I'm so sorry you're going through mc no.4...i can only imagine how you're feeling, and you still find the strength to ask after, and offer advice to others. I truly hope you get your take home baby x

Eastenders just turned me into a lip wobbling wreck!

Hi. I've heard quite a lot about this thread and how supportive it is so have decided to come here and say hi now that I find myself in this situation yet again.

My story:
34 TTC#1 MC x 2 in Oct 14 and Nov 14 and think I'm MC'ing the 3rd time.

After my 2nd MC I did not manage to conceive for many months and started spotting for many days b4 AF so was referred to fertility clinic. Because of my past medical hx with autoimmune problems even though my blood tests were all normal I was told to start aspirin and cyclogest if I got pg. Really thought this time would be it. I got BFP on 5 tests (3 different brands) over 3 days a couple of weeks ago. But yesterday I felt something wasn't right and tested again and got BFNs x 3 (2 different brands). Now just waiting for the bleed to come.

I don't know how I can go through this again...

Hi gakay. I'm so sorry you find yourself here and it looks like you're miscarrying again. Your instincts were right, this thread is full of incredibly supportive women who (sadly) know what you're going through. Have you heard about Coventry? From your brief history I would say you're a prime candidate for it.

These days the thread is a lot quieter than it used to be as there is a private Facebook group now where many people now post. If you would like to join your more than welcome to, but obviously it involves giving up some anonymity. It's totally fine if you dont, if you do let me know and I will let you know how

I've just had my third MC after taking a year to get pregnant since MC2. After taking so long I really thought this time it was going to be it. Sadly not. I understand your feeling of not being sure whether you'll survive another. All I can say is, a month down the line and I'm still standing. Every other woman on here has had multiple MCs and we're all still standing. You will survive, you just do. Big hugs. It really is shit.

Welcome gakay but sorry you have reason to join us. We're a lot quieter since the hacking as lots of people gave up in frustration and went to the fb group instead - I'm very much missing the app and struggling to keep up as easily!

Are you around 6 weeks now? I didn't actually realise you could get a bfn without bleeding first, but then my body seems to hold on as long as possible and bleeds over weeks, taking 5-7 weeks to get a bfn despite early losses (6-7 weeks). Never thought about that before but when you add it up I've spent far more time miscarrying than I have being pregnant! How depressing!

Just remember you're in the darkest time right now, keep going one step at a time and you'll get out the other side

Welcome gakay sorry you find yourself here...multiple loss, or loss of any kind is not nice or fair
The ladies here are lovely and offer great advice and support!
I don't know where we all find the strength and mental energy to get through such dark times, time and time again...but we do, we just do....we push on through, then push on again!

Because we are women, we were designed to be strong, we may not feel it at times, but we are, because we have to be. And you are too Xxx

gakay I'm so sorry you find yourself here and that you're having to go through this shit again. It's truly awful and unfair. This is a lovely thread of women who all know how you feel and are here to listen. You're in the worst of it now but day by day you will start to feel a little bit better. Xx

Thanks for the advice on testing ladies and for wishing me luck. I haven't been using ov sticks so no idea when I ovulated but tomorrow is cd24 so have stocked up on frer.

hels hope erpc went OK yesterday

bootles I really like the idea of a 10 year view, sounds very helpful in putting things in perspective.

flen hope work is OK today

barking wow there's so much to take in about ivf. It sounds like your consultant has a really good protocol and that they have a good success rate. That's really interesting about fresh vs frozen, was trying to work out in my head why - does the process somehow screen out embryos which might not have such a good chance?

Minnie have the epu given you any advice about poas to check the hcg is going down or if they're able to review you and check on progress of mc? All 3 of my MCs were over in a week but they were all 5ish weeks so quite early. Sounds like it the length of mc can really vary though

Hello gakay (and others who've joined us recently), really sorry you're in this situation but this board is a great source of support

Hi gakay hope you find the thread helpful. I only joined a short time ago but i know its helped me through this latest mc. Getting through it again can feel impossible but the girls are right, you just do find a way. Some days will feel tougher than others but with the right support you will be okay, and come out stronger!

A little update ladies...i had the ERPC yesterday. It went okay, i had tears rolling down my face as i came round in recovery but hopefully no one saw! It was involuntary!

A research midwife came to see me and explained the TABLET trial. Is anyone doing this? It tests for thyroid antibodies. I agreed to do the test as a first step, though understand we wouldn't be eligible if we were to take other treatments.

On a separate note i'm about to vent!! i had a text last night from a friend i haven't heard from in 6 months to tell me she is pg. Are you f**king kidding me? I thought, Today? Really?...then i calmed down. 'Don't reply' was the advice from OH. Good advice. She didn't know the latest. I've slept on it, i've replied now, I've congratulated her with lots of exclamation marks!!...but i left in the details of what a shit time we've just had. I find it easier just to let people know and i'm less bothered now than ever if this makes others uncomfortable. There. Vented.

hels I'm glad it went smoothly - I've cried waking up each time too, combination of feelings and general anaesthetic I think! Weirdly, I also got a text the day after mine from a friend saying they were pregnant, mine included scan pic, it was awful. Well done for waiting til today and managing those bloody horrible feelings.

Oh thank god there was no scan pic:) that would have been worse! Thank you flen, weird how things conspire like that xx

Very restrained of you Hels to be able to follow your oh's advice!! I usually compulsively text the wrong thing immediately!

forest there's no benefit to the embryos themselves for frozen, in our case we froze two quality embryos last time when one was replaced (we had three that still survived on day 5 of the 8 that fertilised), and one perished and the other was damaged when they took them out for transfer. This is the risk.
The process of IVF is harsh - you and your body are both stressed from the drugs, the hormones, the increased number of eggs that have been stimulated and the anxiety. After egg collection I couldn't walk properly for three days as I was in so much pain. Putting an embryo back in at that point isn't the best time, if you freeze and wait a month your body is more relaxed and they can monitor your cycle and transfer at the appropriate time.

Swings and roundabouts, risks and benefits of both.

Speaking of ivf - how are you doing floweroct ?

Well done for getting through yesterday hels. What a kick in the guts about that text - I find things like that happen with frightening regularity. It's like the universe has a sense of humour - a sick one. I also cried waking up from both my anaesthetics, it's really weird. Glad it's over now xxx

Well, I have just been allowed back into mumsnet! My computer just wouldn’t let me open the site before. I feel like I have been away for a long time. Here goes on catching up! Just getting in before the start of a new thread

monton how are you doing? Bit delayed but yes, I think possible for MC to be CD1 and then ovulate about 2 weeks after…
I think you have every right to be frustrated and angry, I hope you find seeing the therapist helpful – I think sometimes it’s just really important to talk about everything with someone that’s a little removed from the day to day of it all.

barking glad you are starting to get some results back and moving forward with a slightly different approach, even if not 100% clear yet.

Minnie I was so sorry to hear your news, thinking of you xx

Spam glad to hear that you had your appointment and are feeling positive even though they couldn’t give you definitive answers. Also glad that the hospital acknowledged an apology was in order and should be sending one.

Welcome rubberduck hope everything is going ok for you? Also welcome to Amanda, helsand gemimaand any other ‘faces’ I might have missed. Sorry you all find yourself here.

hels glad it went ok yesterday, be sure to give yourself some time and be kind to yourself for a few weeks.

oneday so happy to hear your good news, I really hope everything is still going well for you. That’s a great sign to have seen a heart beat when you have never seen one before. I really hope that this is the pregnancy which goes well for you.

flower sending huge amounts of good luck for the IVF.

allmychildren good luck!!

march hope everything is still ok for you?

flen the dignities of finally being pregnant Hope you haven't wee'd in front of any children yet!!

bootles sorry you’re still feeling anxious. Hope the 20 week scan helps. When is it?

gakay welcome and sorry you find yourself needing to post here.

Sorry to anyone I have missed, will be back on track now!

Everything ok here, just chugging along and incredibly will be 35 weeks tomorrow, having to do a weird mind shift from thinking about pregnancy and trying my best to stay pregnant to admitting that we may actually have a baby in the near future.

Nice to be back with you all, sending you all virtual hugs

Sorry I've not been around but been trying focus on the first stage of getting pregnant rather than worry about the second stage of staying pregnant! But thanks for asking barking So ec for me at 11.30 on Friday! My last scan was yesterday, I had about 5-6 on each side but only 3-4 that were 14-15mm they've upped my dose yesterday and today so who knows what will happen. Just waiting up to do my trigger!

Hello all, been struggling to keep up especially with the fb group too. It's a shame it's been quieter on here but hopefully now the hacking drama has calmed down things may pick up. But I think some have retreated to the fb group too.

Welcome gakay. I'm so sorry you're going through this a third time. It's shit. As others have said, you will get through it though, you have to. But it's still shit. I second Coventry for uNK cells testing (and their treatment protocol) if you've not already considered this? I too had spotting before af since mc1 and many others on the thread have had the same.

flower good luck for Friday. Hope there are lots of eggs ready to be fertilised. Will they transfer one embryo and freeze any remaining or would they transfer two? Am really hoping this works out for you and you'll be sharing your good news with us soon.

barking that's interesting about fresh vs frozen and can see the logic in freezing. Presumably your body would be in a closer 'state' to that of a natural pg (I'm really sorry if this sounds insensitive btw) by delaying tfr as your body wouldn't have the stress of ec plus all the extra hormones...what method does your consultant prefer? Must be another big (and difficult) decision for you to make given what happened last time. I can definitely see the logic in frozen though but presumably there's 10% risk of perishing compared to nil if using fresh?

bythesea wow 35wks! You're practically there. Hope it begins to sink in soon but if not there will be plenty of time once the little one arrives.

Hello to other newbies I've missed. Sorry you find yourselves here.

hels I have your blog open ready to read when I get half an hour spare!

Euggh! Really no need to share scan pics unless the person has asked to see them! hels I agree with not holding back on letting people know whether it upsets them or not. Really pisses me off when some people imply you can't mention a mc someone pg in case it might upset them, like they might catch it and mc themselves!! Grrrr!!

Afm I'm 14+6 today and chugging along. For those newcomers who don't know background, I've had 2 mmcs and have followed Coventry protocol this time (progesterone, heparin, steroids due to raised uNK cells).

Well the bleeding's started again...

Sorry to hear about bleeding paws , it's something we all dread but there are lots of ladies ( including those on here) who have had spotting without miscarrying - it could be too soon to assume the worst.

How much blood is there? Are you able to speak to your EPU/GP at all? Hugs.

Waves to everyone else, at work but will try to catch up later.

Sorry, am in the dullest training course in the world but it's hard to post.

paws really sorry to hear about the bleeding. How much is there? As forest says there is PLENTY women on here who have had bleeding and it meant nothing. Massive hugs, it's so terrifying. When is your first scan?

Lovely to hear from you both byrhesea and bumblebee - always glad to hear positive stories, even if that feels a long way off for me right now.

Sounds exciting floweroct! Hope egg collection goes well, I hear it can be painful.

As for me I am back for holiday and now need to face reality. Back to work. I will have to see my best friend who is newly pregnant sometime soon. I just want to hide until this is all over.

hels I started reading your blog last night, it's very good

paws sorry to hear you are bleeding, am crossing everything for you and sending hugs x

hels glad it is over and done with. Look after yourself, big hugs x

gakay so sorry to hear of your losses. I hope you find us helpful here x

flower am crossing everything for friday!x

barking ivf sounds incredibly harsh, painful, exhausting, emotional and draining. I so wish you didn't have to go through it, or make so many difficult decisions. It sounds like you have a kind of plan though in terms of the testing and clinic and protocol. I am willing you on so so much x

bythesea and bumble you are both making great progress! x

I think I may take a step back for a bit. I feel guilty for doing it, especially when I am pregnant and past the first trimester so in a good place. It's just that I simply can't get past the anxiety at the moment. My head needs to stick itself in the sand for a while. Sorry guys - feels like I am letting you down, but it's not for long. I'll come back on and be more active again in a couple of weeks. Loads going on in other areas too and I just need to stop and breathe for a bit. Waving to all, and I'll check in again soon xxxxxxx

Didn't want people to assume I had deserted the thread for fb group! I haven't!