Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

I didn't test at all after mc3. I had tested like a mad thing after one and two and just couldn't go it to myself again. 6 weeks later I tested just before by RMC appointment and it was negative.

It took me 3 months to get a bfn after mc#2 but only 2 weeks after mc#3. Hope you get a quick one... xx

Thanks for your support ladies. Scan all ok today, baby was big enough for nuchal trans measurement (not quite as good as DD's but still in normal range, 2.1) so now waiting for blood results. Had total freak out as we were in same room as the bad scan last year . Proper sobbing panic before I could even get onto bed.

Sonographer was very kind but didn't feel the need for any more scans until 20 weeks which feels rather scary. She said any repeat of MC1's cystic hygroma would probably be evident by now but as they don't know what caused it or why she died I'm really not sure if that makes sense.

DH is determined to be positive from here and do planning etc but I'm not sure I'm there yet . Am I being silly to still worry about these next couple of weeks as a danger zone?? Also they adjusted due date to just one day off MC1's date - not helping the mess my head is in!!!

kazz so so sorry to hear that. Just beyond shit. Hope you have plenty of support in RL. You will get through this xx

monten Dear god. I think that department needs a bit of education all round. Not what you needed at all. So sorry you had those difficult interactions. I know what you mean about black humour, when it's definitely the most unfunny situation, but a part of you finds another way to deal with the shock and trauma. I once texted dp to let him know there was a pg sac in a jar in the fridge, advising him strongly not to look (he wouldn't react well). Of all the texts to send on a friday night...I could see how ridiculous it sounded. I hope you are managing to have a chance to process it all a bit xx

I remember dh and I standing over a blood filled toilet in a pub trying to decide whether to fish or flush... the pg actually turned out to still be ongoing at that point, but there was so much blood you'd never have thought it could be. Funny where life takes you. Thinking of everyone going through tough times tonight. xx

I remember dh and I standing over a blood filled toilet in a pub trying to decide whether to fish or flush... the pg actually turned out to still be ongoing at that point, but there was so much blood you'd never have thought it could be. Funny where life takes you. Thinking of everyone going through tough times tonight. xx

Hi ladies, trying to join the thread again (moved so fast last time I couldn't keep up)...

Have been TTC for 2 1/2 years now, no dc at present, have had 3 consecutive MCs, 1st in Nov 2013 at 9+5 (mmc which required 2 d&cs as they royally messed up the 1st one) then next in Nov 2014 at 7 weeks and another in March 2015 5.5 weeks approx.

All unexplained with NHS tests showing nothing. Have seen gynae but other than PCOS there is no other advice other than "keep trying".

Am now on the RESPONSE trial but with the October deadline looming have had no joy yet on BFP. So, now considering what options we have next...

x

Hi Vicki and sorry for your losses, this thread does move fast!! Did you have any testing done on the losses at all? Have you been to Coventry as I know a lot on here have had success there?

Hi Emerald - am at Coventry for the RESPONSE trial so I guess if all else fails then can look at that option.

No testing on any of the losses (other than the scans and usual bloods) - the only one where there would have been any chance of testing was the first but they didn't conduct anything at the time as "it was the first one" and honestly we were too naive to all of it (and in massive shock) to question anything really.

The other two didn't happen in hospital and we were never offered testing - or told to look for anything really.

Always feel really stupid as don't know what to ask etc.

x

Hi all. I've been terrible at keeping up with you all, the thread moves too quick for me and tbh, I sometimes find it all too sad. I know there are amazing stories, and the courage that you all show is unbelievable. I just feel that it will never be me.

That said, today, rather selfishly, I need some encouragement (and if I'm honest, a kick up the bum). 27 days after I found my BFP was a chemical, I have a faint +ve. I can't shake the negative thoughts and am terrified. I don't even know how this has happened, we didn't really "try". I'm not sure I can deal with a 4th loss.

Congratulations to all who are having successful pregnancies and "keep going" to those who are not. Each and everyone of you are amazing.

Congrats allthere! There is nothing to be said or done except wait it out! Im sure its almost impossible to be +ve after a crap history but a bfp is much more likely to result in a baby than no bfp! Are you on any kind of trial/plan for pregnancy after rmc? (i really shouldnt be on this thread i havent got a clue whats going on tbh )

i have been given a code to go onto the arc forums for tfmr but its not very busy. Im finding it harder to control my emotions and this morning i passed a clump of tissue and the bleeding has slowed right down - i should be happy as this hopefully means we can try again soon but its made me desperately sad that the last physical connection with my baby is nearly over

mrsC great scan news. And you're not being silly worrying, but it is a new pregnancy different to the last and the others. You stand a really good chance of bringing this one home. Odds are in your favour. Maybe break up the long wait to 20weeks with another private scan? Just after when you mc last time... Hugs for surviving yesterday.

Whispering congratulations to you allthereis

Vicki you've come to the right place for advice and support. Pom pom waver for Coventry here! Might be worth looking into their uNK cell testing if you can afford the £360 to take part

noodle ????

I'm on the allthereis pregnacare conception plan, coupled with a wing and a prayer.

Congratulations allthereis! Keeping everything crossed for you this time x

Great scan news mrsc

Just checking in to let you know today's scan was ok, about 10 weeks but a bit wriggly to get an accurate measurement. Not sure how I'm feeling tbh, mainly EEK.

Yay flen and MrsC, brilliant news!

allthere Whispering congratulations! Like noodle says, a bfp is much more likely to result in a baby than no bfp - today, you are pregnant! One step at a time. It's a scary rollercoaster, no doubt, but all you can do at this stage is hope. And we will all hope with you xx

mrsc sorry, I didn't refresh the pagefor something like 3 hours before posting (knew I couldn't keep up) so missed your post. Great scan news! Completely understand the mess your head is in, and the sobbing when going into the same room. My 2nd loss either had a cystic hygroma or a massive nuchal too, they never seemed to be able to decide, and no cause was found. It's like a kind of torture, the waiting. I got a scan at 14 weeks with this one, and another is booked at 18 weeks, due to amazing Dr who is running a research project and offered extra scans. I know not every epu will be that understanding, but if I was you, I would beg for another scan (from consultant/epu/whoever you've been dealing with), and if they really won't, book a private one (I don't think they are too expensive but not sure). Just for reassurance, because it's so freaking hard. In the meantime, this is a different pregnancy, and you are doing so well! X

flen I didn't realise you had a scan today, that's fantastic news! Do you have another booked in another week? I am so very pleased for you. EEK indeed! Hope you are managing the sickness OK.
Thanks for asking after me, I am OK, still struggling hugely with the panic, and still not telling people, but it is already becoming obvious I think (my stomach muscles are not so good as they once were!) I'm terrified people will notice and ask me, but also probably need it to be made a bit more real. Went to buy new bras today (none now fit) and thought I was jinxing things.

allthereis whispered congrats!

monten, patience, kazz, noodle, barking, hope you are all OK. Sorry to lump you all together. Hope I didn't forget anyone there x

Vicki welcome, and so sorry for your losses. Please don't feel silly - no-one knows what to ask for to begin with, then we all chat on here...

Yay flen, so pleased for you! ! Has your spotting buggered off now?

Can't believe you've got away with not showing for this long bootles. Mine is already v obvious at 8.1! (Bloat of course, but can't really hide it). Sorry to hear you're still worrying, but i think it's perfectly understandable and i expect to be the same. Glad you've got some extra scans. It makes such a difference.

Waves to everyone else x

bootles totally understand that jinxing feeling, I'm also having the bra quandary, well done for being brave!

march thank you. No spotting for 8 days now, which does help with feeling calmer (if not more positive). How are you doing?

I'm doing ok thanks flen. Still stressing whenever my sickness goes off slightly. I think this one might be a boy as I've not felt as sick and not gone off as many things (or could be the steroids). Scan next Tuesday and it feels like an age away.

Ps. Glad you've stopped spotting. I imagine it's a huge relief after such a difficult start. Hope it stays away now

Glad you had a positive scan Flen! xxxx

Thanks bootles I'm really trying to think on next steps now...

allthereis what do you mean by the plan? X

Don't feel stupid Vicki. I didn't know either and it is a massive shock, it's only this last one I thought to push for it but you learn as you go along I guess, unfortunately and have learnt loads from here

Allthere wow that is exciting but nerve racking too! Everything crossed for you and you have courage too as you're still here still with it.

Noodle sorry to hear of the last bit of connection that is sad, but hopefully you can now start to move forward abit, big hug.

Fab news on scans Flen and MrsC!!!
And Bootles glad things are going well with you and March too!