Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

forest I'll be queuing at the clinic at 7.30 tomorrow hoping to be the first when they open the doors at 8 (first come, first served). Results line opens at 1.30, so depends on how long it takes me to get through.

Not more flipping queuing!! Will be crossing everything and thinking of you tomorrow.

This seems like an incredibly inefficient/insensitive system barking, can't imagine how it must feel to have to queue up like you're buying something from the deli. Grrrr nhs.

Hi ladies! In the middle of a huge catch up as have been a bit awol recently - away for a few days and then came down with tonsillitis :( just starting to feel back to myself.

Great scan news from the last week for lots of you - yay! I had a scan late last week after a little spotting and some cramping. All well and measuring a few days ahead of my dates at that point at 8+5. Was reassured for about 10 mins but still 3 weeks till next scan so bricking it once again now!

brummie good scan news for you too! Totally understand why you would want a c section. Good to hear that the consultant isn't resistant to your wishes.

patience and monten so sorry to hear your news. Hope you are looking after yourselves at the moment.

barking sorry that it's bfn at the moment. Everything crossed for you tomorrow.

I've already forgotten who to pm for the Facebook group!

Sorry to everyone I've missed, off to read the rest properly now!

patience I hope you're ok and are home recovering and receiving lots of tlc. Such a horrible time. Big hug x

monten have been thinking about you lots. I know exactly how you feel about starting again. When we were told about mc3, even as I was in the room hearing the words and starting to cry, my brain was going 'now you have to start the bloody thing all over again, you've wasted 3 months and now you'll be f**king 41 if you ever manage it again'. Along with the obvious sadness and emotion of the baby loss, that just adds another layer of shitness. I hope this week goes quickly for you. Sending huge squeezy hugs xx

You’re so right Minnie, even as I was sat in the room my mind started galloping ahead about what was to come. I also had my first moment at work today where we started talking about a project happening next year which I should have been on mat leave for and now won’t be . Plenty more of those to come.

Ladies I really really really want some red wine this weekend. Is that really really bad?

march very interesting about that less than 1% figure. Do you know where that is from? I’ve been trying to find info online about the statistical probability of having three random losses in a row and can’t find anything anywhere.

monten I don't think red wine is a bad thing. I'm about to open a bottle and I have to work tomorrow!

Are you on the fbook group? I've just posted about research I did today. I'm going armed with it to my GP.
Google recurrent miscarriage NICE and emedicine. Guidlines for testing and statistics.
Although after reading that each subsequent unexplained mc increases the chances of it again - I may stop googling for today.
Correct knowledge is power.

patience all my thoughts. Hope you are being looked after.

barking you must be so anxious and lining up to wait cant help either. Please let us know what happens.

Am done. Was straightforward.

Feel sore, groggy and a bit ready. It was infinitely preferable to med management imo.

DP and I staying with my parents for the weekend for a bit of ttc.

Thanks for the kind wishes everyone x

*teary not ready!

mrsb I think I read that stat too, but also read that it only goes up to a certain point of odds: 60/40 (successful/unsuccessful) and thereafter stays the same no matter how many more you have. Prof Brisens at Coventry also told us this, that in studies all over the world where there was unexplained miscarriage, that after 3 the odds then stay at 60/40.

Monten enjoy your red wine, you thoroughly deserve it. Take care

Thank you flen. I think because of my science background going at this scientifically/researching is helping a little. May not improve or decrease my chances, but at least I'll know what questions to ask.
The more I read though, the more the hospital seems to be discounting the fact I've had 2 mmc. Makes me a little angry/annoyed.

mrsb doing the research really does help I think. My dh couldn't (still can't) understand why I feel the need to 'find answers' but for me knowledge is really useful. I find the NHS lottery of how MC is dealt with so frustrating though. I've had a mixed experience this time -shit appointments which I had to chase, mistakes made with blood tests but the people involved have been great and we were referred straightway even though my mcs were not consecutive and mc2 was only my say so as it was natural and I didn't need any medical support for it. I know other people are having to fight when they've had much worse experiences, and like you have had mcs ignored, and I think that's so wrong. Good on you for going armed with questions! Xx

monten get the red wine open, lovely! Xx

patience glad you're home and getting some tlc. Rest up, eat chocolate and let everyone run round after you. Huge hugs xx

Bloody hell, I mean tlc- definitely not ttc haha!!

Freudian slip

Get the wine open monten
Stats go like this. Background mc rate is 1/5, so to have three in a row is 1/5×1/5×1/5=1/125 or 0.8%. Actual rmc rate is higher (between 1 and 2%), because it's not always bad luck. Also bear in mind that the 1/5 background rate includes recurrent miscarriers, so background incidence of 'bad luck' mcs will be a bit smaller than this figure

lots of love patience, hope you have speedy recovery.

didn't realise that 1% figure March, makes me definitely think there's a reason rather than "just one of those things" Gosh I've had enough it all, I feel like just giving up on the whole thing. I dont know how you ladies keep going, seriously x

So... out of interest March after 3 what is the chance of a successful pregnancy 4th time round if doing nothing different? (Thinking if I'm on the placebo! )

I think it stays 50-60% chance of success for subsequent pgs Kaz

ok... so there's a 50/50 chance I'm on the drug or the placebo and if I'm on the placebo a 50% chance of it working out anyway! eeek! All this unknown is so totally crap!

Thanks march that's really useful.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow barking. I'm also shocked they make you wait and queue. Big hugs, hope you get some sleep.

monten I got a bit tipsy with dh the evening after my last miscarriage, helped with the shock a bit and re-orienting myself, go for it!

I'm a big fan of research too, helped me feel a bit more in control in the face of so much uncertainty.

Loving the butterfly theory monten/onestep - Flen LOVE the greek mythology, typically romantic of the greeks. Btw, i do not want to come back as a butterfly. They live very briefly and only eat fruit. Sounds too much like super-models! Let me come back as a seagull. They constantly eat chips and ice cream, they are dead aggressive and shit on everyone - sounds like a great lark to me!

Onestep - hells bells woman, that sounds AWFUL! I would be a super grouch if it were my bum! Sympathy in piles (pun was just too inviting!)

Can tell i've had a gin, i'm getting too free with the exclamation marks...

Anyone else knoticed from the fb group that Tannyloo looks basically like a swiss model/bond girl?! I swear, i am starting to look more and more like Shrek. It frightens me!

Monten you definitely deserve wine my lovely.

Those that are ummming and ahhing about FB we are there of you want to join, but we are still here too. We can only see your friends if each other are friends. For example I'm friends with some but not all.

Patience defo plenty of rest for you

So, 3rd due date today, lit 3 candles for my babies and had a little cry this morning.