Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 29 - Support for Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

[barkingtreefrog]

Support, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so prepare to read fast!

Previous thread here

Link to the RMC investigations information

Stats update:

allthereis: 29. DC, 4MC
anniehoo: 42. TTC#1 for 2.5yrs, 4MC
barkingtreefrog: 36. TTC#1 since Dec 11, 2MC
bettybutterchops: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
bootles: 41. DS, 1TFMR, 4MC, pg
brummiegirl: 38. TTC#1 since Apr 14, 3MC, pg
bubblybubbles80: 34. TTC#1, 3MC
bumblebee0: 29. DS, 2MC, pg
bunnymad: 40. DD, 2MC
bythesea82: 33. TTC#1 since Dec 12, 3MC, pg
casiopeia: . TTC#1, 3MC
chrystley: 41. DD, 5MC, pg
cloudjumper: 43. DS, 4MC, pg
confu3ed: 39. DS, DD, 5MC, pg
desperatelyhopeful: DS, 10 MC.
emerald72: 43. DS, 3MC
enlightenedbunny: 34. TTC#1 since '10, 1TFMR, 3MC, pg
erica21: 32. DS, 2MC, pg
extrablessings: 33. DS, 6MC
fackinell: 44. TTC#1, 4MC
fififolle: 37. DC, 2MC, pg
flen: 36. TTC#1, 3MC, pg
floweroct: 34. TTC#1 since 11, 3MC
frecklefire: 40. DS, 3MC
genwah85: 29. DS, 3MC, pg
girliesaints: 37. DD, 4MC (1 twins)
girlinoz: 32. TTC#1, 3 MC
Ifinishedthebiscuits: 37. 2DS, 4MC
iloveyoubaby: . DD, 2MC
inamaymaybewrong. 37. DS, 2MC
jady77: 37. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 2MC, pg
kazz2112: 31. TTC#1 since Feb 14, 3MC
lauren83: 31. TTC #1 for 7yrs, 2MC (1 twins)
leah1984: . TTC#1, 2MC
loopyaboutmy2boys: 38. 2DS, 6MC
lovemylittlebear: 29. 1 ectopic, 2MC, pg
marchgirl: 37. DD, 5MC, pg
maverick79: 35. TTC#1, 2MC, pg
me2me2: 2DC, 2MC
mimidoddrioni: 35. TTC#1, 2MC
minnie74: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
monten: 37. TTC#1 since Apr 13, 1TFMR, 1MC
morganlefey: 29. DD, 3MC
mrsb0710: 29. TTC#1, 2MC
mrsconfusion: 36. DD, 3MC, pg
mrsdiddlydoo: 34. DS, 2MC, pg
notspartacus: 39. 2DD, 2 ectopic , 3MC
onedaymaybe1: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
onestep2015: 39. TTC#1 since May 13, 3MC, 1 ectopic /PUL
patienceisvirtuous: 37. TTC#1 since Mar 14, 2MC, pg
peqpit: 33. TTC#1 for 2yrs, 3MC
portmoon: 43. DS, DD, 5MC
sallywade: 36. DS, 1TFMR, 5MC, pg
sashakerr: 37. DS, 3MC
sebsmummy: 40. DS, 3MC, pg
sizethree: 35, TTC#1, 3MC, pg
snoopysimaginaryfriend: 29. TTC#1 since Sep 14, 3MC
spamminit: 25. 2DS, 2MC
strubidooo: 34. TTC#1 since Sep 12, 3MC, 1 ect
sunandrainbow: 38, TTC#1, 4MC, pg
teach3: 27. TTC#1, 3MC
texta: 32. TTC#1, 3MC
thepopandcry: 38, DS, 4MC
thornfield38: 34. TTC#1 for 2 yrs, 2MC, pg
tomcat81: 34. TTC#1 since Oct 14, 2MC
twilightstruggle: TTC#1 since Nov 12, 5MC
wadsy: 36. DS, 1 ectopic , 4 MC, pg

ourdaywillcome
daisybell

Thread babies
bakingtins: 40. 2DS, 4MC. Faith born May 14
tannyloo: 42, 2DS, 5MC. Bertie born Mar 15
tinytear: 41. DD, 5MC. Alice born Mar 15
justonemoretime: 39. 3MC. Scott born May 15
purplefrogshoes: 38. 2MC, 1CMP. John born May 15
longestlurkerever: 34. DD, 3MC. Beth born Jun 15
catlover2014: 35. TTC#1 since 09, 3MC. Louis born Jun 15
boozle80: 34. 3MC. Mhairi born Jun 15
belleende: 40. TTC#1, 2MC, 1 TFMR. Cissy born Jun 15

brummie sorry its your 3rd due date today, the 3 candles sounds lovely x

patience glad that bit is over for you, hope you get lots of looking after at your parents.

monten I hope you are on the wine lovely. It has taken me between 1 and 8 months to conceive in the past - that's a fairly big difference I'd say. It doesn't mean it would take you a year to conceive again. Understand the fear though. I think if you get answers on this current one, you may be in a position to decide what to do next? It was when my 4th was chromosomally normal that I went to Coventry. Do you mind me asking what the results were for your tfmr and previous mc? (Hope I got that right, and understand if you don't want to go there)

In terms of stats...I did ask Prof Brosens if I was mad to keep trying, at my age, with 5 losses, as didn't the chance of success just get smaller and smaller? In a nutshell he said there are very few women who never get there - most do in the end. So so hard when you don't know which end of the spectrum you fall into.

barking I am continually amazed at A) my ignorance of the system regarding ivf, and B) however logical the queuing malarky may be, how crazy and unfair it is to put this on a group of already most likely pretty stressed women. Hand holding for tomorrow lovely.

OK so the fb is just sounding more and more appealing to me, just wish I could post pics only you guys can see. I know I sound like a total ludite (?spelling) about the whole thing. Is there a way of doing that? Sorry to be a pain...

patience. glad you're out the other side and today is done with. Lots of rest and healing now big hugs

MrsC congrats on scan today

Barking good luck for tomorrow hope there is a miracle for you
Monten hopeyoureok and can sleep better tonight after some wine

Sorry to anyone else I've missed, been out all day today and just can't keep up!! Waves.
Freckle. who's Tannyloo on fb? Think I've missed lots there!

Bloody hell bootles what Prof Bosens said just made me have a proper sob, which I needed. And I so hope you're right about the conceiving thing.

My tfmr was Edwards syndrome (T18) and my MC was T22. Both (usually) random genetic events. And the fact they were different also suggests there is no link. What worries me is either I have totally dud eggs or he has 100% morphology on his swimmers. But surely then we wouldn't be getting pregnant at all?

freckle even while lying on the couch at 3 in the morning with chronic insomnia you make me laugh!

Right, I think I'm going to need to join this Facebook malarkey. Getting too nosy. I will PM you Sasha.

bootles, if you want to share a pic you can post it to the wall of the group easily. Then everyone can see your lovely face but you don't have to change your profile pic and no one else will be able to see it. I'm going to have to do that. I am deeply suspicious of FB and rarely post of myself - my profile oic is the mustachiod singer of Gogol Bordello, which even on a bad day I hope bares little resemblance.

monten I have terrible insomnia too... Am averaging about 4 hours a night since mc3 on Monday :(

Definitely come and join us over on the FB group.

Freckle is very funny :)

With you on the insomnia patience.

Another bfn here. No miracles in evidence yet.

It's so unfair barking, we all wish you'd get your bfp :(

Rewards in life do not at all seem to be related to effort, heartbreak-endured, and bloody-minded persistence and they f*cking should be.

Thinking of you x

Barking, that's so rubbish and unfair. Big hugs x

barking I just let out a string of expletives which I wont transcribe here. I'm at work all day but will sneak a look to see how you get on. I so wish I could come round with a big bottle of wine,and a bucket load of chocolate. I know it doesn't fix anything but you'd have a shoulder to cry on.
Thinking of you

I'm so sorry barking, it is beyond shit.
Been thinking of you, patience and monten.

Monten, yes to the red wine btw!!
I hope minnie doesn't mind me saying but I recall her saying it took 18nths to conceive her son and she was hoping it won't take that time to conceive again this time. I think it only took a few cycles with this pg tho. Apologies if I've got this wrong and if you don't want me sharing this minnie. X

Glad it went ok patience and that you are back home being looked after.

barking, I'm so sorry lovely. This is beyond shit and so unfair. Big hand holding for the final results today and lots of chocolate cake and wine

kazz, i think after 3 you still only have about a 30-40% chance of mc (I've heard people say that if you've had 3 then you only have a 1% chance because that's the recurrent mc rate, but that's actually wrong). The figures do get worse when you get further along in number of mc (read some very scary stats about after 7), but I'm convinced that these later stats will be skewed somewhat as people will give up (quite understandably) rather than trying indefinitely. Think of choccy on the response board. 8mc (plus chemicals) and now in the 3rd trimester

Patience I'm glad that it's all done and went well. I also found my ERPC so much easier than the medical management. I hope that you have a relaxing weekend with your parents. Take care xx

barking thinking of you very much

freckle your butterfly/seagull comparison made me guffaw xx

Patience I absolutely found ERPC to be the best, and god forbid I ever found myself in that position again I wouldn't hesitate.

Barking there are no words apart from it's shit

Bootles Prof B said the same to me. He said it may take a few attempts but the majority of women do eventually get there.

I have to say I'm enjoying the FB page. The whole group has been a lifeline but I'm also really enjoying the chit chat

barking - so gutted for you. Wish I was there to give you a big hug. x

patience - glad the erpc went well and that you are being looked after by the parents.

monten - thinking of you. Hope you are bearing up through the horrible week of waiting.

Huge to all x

mrsc great news on scan yesterday - I'm so sorry I missed you out! That's wonderful news.

monten Sorry to make you cry, though sometimes it helps. Hopefully you interpreted Prof Brosens opinion positively! So sorry about your losses found to be Edwards and T22. I had a T22. Good that you have both had karyotyping done, that's one box ticked. I hope you get results on this one and that it helps you to move forwards in some way. I do agree with march that Coventry isn't just for hyperfertility - it's also about the lining not functioning properly and implanting eggs it would be better not implanting. I can see your point though. Anyway, for now, focus on getting through the next week. Am thinking of you xx

Also glad its not just me who is deeply suspicious of fb!

barking, bfn is just so shit, we all so so want you to get there xx

So Swedish models, blonde hotties and shrek? Think I am going to have to join..if I can post a picture on the wall of the group then I'll do that. May take me while to figure out.. So who and what info do I e-mail?

Quick question about heparin, who injects at 45 degrees and who at 90 degrees?! My bruising is getting worse, wondering about altering technique...

barking .

Still hoping for a miracle for you. If you don't get one, we'll be here to support you as best we can. I really wish we all knew each other/ lived near each other so we could come and supper you in person.

If and when you're ready to talk about next steps we'll also be here. This journey isn't over until you say it is. I don't mean that to sound flippant, I know it's not as straight forward as that. We'll be here to talk when ever you are.

Flen Not sure if fragmin is different, but 90 degrees. And that's what the instructions say.

Thanks all for the sympathy. Still sobbing, but have friends on the way round now.

monten how are you holding up?

Bootles I can add you to the group if you pm me your email address and Facebook name.
You can't see my face in my profile pic either, just my bike....

Maybe you'd be interested in a bit more on the ancient Greek ideas about reincarnation and the soul? (If not, skip this post )
Socrates and Plato believed in the necessary existence of an unchanging, eternal soul. It had to exist because otherwise how would we recognise things in the world? We must have seen them before, in a previous life, or have inherent prior knowledge from our existence in the 'world of forms', where every exists perfectly. Since things in our world exist imperfectly, but we can recognise categories of things (dogs, chairs etc.), Plato argued that there must be some part of us which already knew the perfect concept of everything we encounter in this life: the soul. So, its a logical, rather than a religious or superstitious (woo ) conclusion. Of course, it has problems (the perfect bogie? Plato doesn't seem to acknowledge how we recognise horrible things...), but if you don't like the woo, you might like to think about whether you think Plato was on to something.

I pinch, put the needle all the way in at 90 degrees then slowly plunge and release the pinch as i plunge, which seems to sting less. I have a tiny bruise around one where i moved straight after and a slightly more spread out (but less severe) bruise around another. But that's one i thought was a good injection, so it seems a bit random!

Flen - I actually don't think it makes any difference what angle you inject at. I went through a phase of awful bruising to hardly any at all and bruising again... I've tried so many different techniques, and now just want the injection done instead of faffing around for ages. If bruising happens, so what - it's not as if anyone can see it

Thanks for sharing that bumble, if anyone else has any quick conception time after long conception time stories, fire them my way!

Thanks just. My mum would be interested in that, she always says she finds it fascinating how young children correctly identify a dachshund (for example) as a dog, when they look so different from a Labrador or an Alsatian. I know what she means but I'm always a bit when she says it.

bootles crying is good. Crying is a relief. It's when the crying stops I find hard. And u think you are correct to be deeply suspicious of Facebook. Its not a benevolent organisation helping people 'connect' with each other, it's a profit making business that makes money from the data it collects about its users. For some people that's a trade off they're okay with, but I think most people are starting to be more protective of their personal info , which I think is a good thing.

I hope you're okay patience - I've only ever had surgical so can't compare but I too find them straightforward. Feeling weepy is normal. Be prepared over the coming days for a bit of a hormone crash. You will come out the other side and things will start to look less bleak

Monten I'm another one who took a long time to conceive my first 2 pregnancies - almost a year both times. This time, it took two cycles from mc2. Was very when the doctor said that it could happen again quickly in April, but turns out she was right!