Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

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Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

Welcome to the newbies. I'm so sorry you find yourself here but you'll find so much support and help here I'm sure.

purple that's so lovely to here how things have changed for you now for the better. Of course no one will ever forget their lost babies and all the grief and pain, but I hope it helps those feeling at rock bottom at the moment to know it can change and the pain won't be like this forever.

Big hugs May due dates never get any easier. My next one is 7th August

Wow I still can't get used to how fast these threads move!! So much I want to say and then forget as chat moves on. So apologies if I forget to respond to anyone.
Big hugs to May I know how you feel, I'm seeing a friend tonight who's just had her 12wk scan, all good but she was 3wk ahead of me and Id so hoped we would be pregnant together. I feel so guilty though as she's had a rough time, 5yr trying and MMC, ectopic and failed IVF 3x so really pleased for her but it just hurts that she has what I lost. I think they all think that because I have my son it's ok but it isn't, tho of course really helps having him. My due date of last lost was when this last ERPC was, double blow.
Purple so good to hear your story, so good to hear there's hope. To all those worried about age don't, as I had my son no problem at age 41, conceived after 7mth at age 40.5, so it can happen. Not sure about 43.5 tho?..... With undetectable AMH!
Sashakerr let me know how you get on with Mr Shehata.
Welcome to baby I've only just joined and already feel the support of all you strong brave women.
bakingtins what's AFAIK?
Frecklefire yes we have same stats really, what was your age?
Marchgirl how nice living in Edinburgh I love it there. I'm guessing to get referred to Coventry via NHS you have to go through hospital as my doc has not said and still waiting on NHS bloody referral. Hence why booking private apps in blind panic about my age and no time to lose. Tho my consultant who done the two ops said he would refer to St Marys. Phew.
I've got the Prof Regan book too found it very helpful in terms of what tests they can do.
My stats again:
Me 43, DP 39, DS 2
TTC no 2 since July 14, 3 MC
MC 1 natural while on holiday Aug 14, 5wks
MMC 2 ERPC Dec 14, found on early scan at 9wks, measured 5/6wks no hb.
MMC 3 June 15, found on early scan at 7.5wk irregular shape sac no fetal pole, had 2 more rescans as second scan showed yolk sac. Sonographer rang me to ask rescan next day whilst I was in gown waiting to go down for op. False hope or what! Op got cancelled, waited a week for just a repeat really of bad scan and then the rearranged op, that was 1.5wk ago.

Miscarriage sucks.

Marchgirl forgot to say completely understand how you felt about your pg friend. And why is it all I seem to see everywhere now is pregnant women, everywhere?!!

Sorry me again! Forgot to say last pregnancy I took 400mg cyclogest but this didn't help, maybe except to keep it in abit longer? But then I don't think progesterone is my problem.

emerald, Coventry is self referral, which makes it a lot simpler! It costs £360, which includes the appointment with one of the two profs, the uterine biopsy, scan and testing of the cells for the uNK and a phone consultation to discuss the results, so you only need to visit once. They are also available for random questions to support through your next pg.
They are nhs self funded so they cover the costs of their research by the patients paying this one off fee. The fact that this is research is another reason i preferred it to going to a private clinic.
The main criteria is that you need to be two periods beyond your last mc. Then you do ov testing and when you get a positive opk you call kerri and they book you in for a week to 10 days later. Clinics run on Monday and Friday afternoon

A while ago there was chat about progesterone. I've been thinking about that. Profs B and Q both said to me that while there is 'normal' ranges, what you are looking for is 'normal for you'. Therefore, a measured progesterone test might be within what is regarded as normal ranges, but actually its too high or too low for you. So I suppose the fine tuning approach is the best other option to find what works for you. Its frustrating that the trials come in 3 month chunks and review. I'm not sure how else they'd do it, though. I know that the mini-pill is progesterone based, so I guess it does act as a contraceptive in high doses, as does the elevated progesterone while breast feeding (although its not fool proof!!).
These are just my thoughts, not sure whether that makes any sense?

AFAIK = as far as I know.

Sasha, I did read that some doctors don't think there is a correlation between blood NK cells and uterine NK cells. If you are prepared to throw everything at it, so to speak, it might be worth getting a slightly different perspective from Coventry?

If they say your uNK cells are ok it could save you a lot of money on IVIG?

Bit annoyed with dh tonight. His mum is staying with us tonight and the second he walked out the room she started quizzing me on if/when no. 2 was on the way with a stupid grin on her face. Totally blind sided me. I just assumed she knew about the mcs and ended up just being really rude and saying no in a really stern tone. She then assumed I was already pg I think and started laughing. And i just went quiet. Couldn't really hit her with the 5 mc information after that. I'm so embarrassed. I wish he'd told me she didn't know, then i would have been prepared and just told her. As it is she thinks I'm rude and lying (and pg), and I've allowed her to think that.

Emerald, i am 40. Had my ds nearly 2 years ago. The only difference appart from 2 years is that i am also heavier. Rmc...the gift that keeps on giving.

Oh how i long to meet myself again and find myself attractive. I miss the sass in my step...

Sasha, sorry, it wasn't me asking about the nk cells, its not really my area of knowledge because i havn't been to coventry. X

Know where you shouldn't go if you need to avoid pregnant ladies and newborns, ladies? Ikea. I think they must have them on offer, three for a pound!

I hope to never go to IKEA, regardless

Lol Freckle... I have driven in to the IKEA car park near Wembley and driven straight back out again!!

Me too, my miscarriages have knocked the stuffing out of me, don't really recognise myself anymore. Also 2 stone heavier. Time to knock myself back in to shape and come back fighting, only thing is, I come back fighting only to be knocked down yet again! So exhausting!!!!

Oh March, that is a difficult situation and can understand your feeling a bit annoyed with DH for the lack of warning. Could you maybe have a quiet chat with her in the morning when you might feel a bit more prepared, or get DH to say something? I'm sure she didn't think you were rude, just uncomfortable with the line of questioning. Xxx

just popping in to say a belated wooooo! to brummie. read your news last night but phone was playing up and couldn't post. so exciting. x

Thanks for the warm welcome. AF just arrived, day 34, 10 days later than last month! It's a bit of a relief as it means a start of a fresh cycle after a negative test.

reading your comments I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing by going to a fertility clinic. I'll definitely ask my gp for a referral, but I doubt he'll agree as funding is really limited here.

Any recommendations for good mc clinics in the South east? I live in Sussex and work in London.

and yes, ikea is full of pregnant ladies. We get it delivered now, but means we miss out on the fun side like meatballs and almond tarts

March, sorry to hear your dh put you in such a horrible position.

Oh dear march** why didn't he say anything??? I'd be pretty upset too. Oh God save us all from mil's! He needs to be the one to sensitively say something to her to give her the oportunity to graciously appologise to you for being so assuming - and that leaves a situation open for you to appologise, but you were just "startled" and "shocked" and "embarrassed..." and then she'll appologise some more...and you'll come up smelling like roses and she feels angry with son instead of you. Ta da!!!! And you get good grace for forseeable future.... I really don't know what's wrong with our parent's generation.They think it's ok to say anything, they have "a right to an opinion", apparently... they just shouldn't feel they have to express it so fucking often!!!! on your behalf!

March I think I'd talk to my DH and get him to talk to his mother. I'd be cross with him to put me in that situation unless we.'do previously talked it through and agreed not to tell her.

Don't want to bring the mood down but today my dh was in the barbers in Wendover. I went for a walk round the shops and then went back to see if he was nearly done and he was mid way through a conversation about our miscarriages. The lady who was cutting his hair has 3 children but had a termination at 5 months as the baby had trisomy (can't remember exact trisomy number) poor baby had 6 fingers, 6 toes, 1 eye, no roof of mouth. The doctors were amazed she had got so far in the pregnancy. (I'm still trying to figure out how they didn't diagnose the babies issues sooner than 5 months?!)
We chatted for ages in that barbers, she was close to tears at one point, but before we left she grabbed me and gave me a huge huge hug. It never ceases to amaze me now the warmth received from people when my dh and I open up to people. My dh feels angry that mc is still a bit of a taboo, not spoken about, I feel so lucky to have him by my side on our journey to make a new life.

I'm the opposite because I'd meet people and they'd say "oh DH told me you've had a miscarriage" and I'd be really annoyed at him. Sometimes close family and friends but also his colleagues and once our blooming tenants (who are renting our house while we're living with family!)
It was annoying because they'd all bring it up and then I'd be caught off guard and try and change the subject.
Suppose we're all different. March maybe your DH felt he was protecting your privacy by keeping quiet? Giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks people. It's always good to get a balanced opinion on here. I actually agree that he was probably just trying to protect me as he's very private about it and doesn't want anyone to know. I don't think he really understands why i do. But i just wish he'd told me she didn't know. Then i could have acted appropriately. She is very thick skinned so probably want even offended by my rudeness! but i just hope she doesn't start making comments about me being pg now. Urgh. Family politics.

Oh March got to love family politics. Hope Dh comes round to your way of thinking and has a little chat with her before she leaves

Have fallen behind and keep losing posts so will try to be brief!

march it's a shame you are the one feeling bad when really your MIL should for asking that sort of question. If she shows the slightest hint of thinking you are pg, could you or dh just set her straight by saying you are having issues in that area?

sasha sorry about the T16 diagnosis, I can understand you feeling shocked by it. I had one T22 and it really threw me. I wouldn't let it affect your thoughts about NK cells - you'd expect a loss of normal and abnormal embryo's with high NK cells. Hugs.

Hugs to those with due dates recently passed or coming up.

Welcome to newbies.

I had the harmony test earlier this week. Having had a bad 12 week scan before, which led to a tfmr (though it turned out she was chromosomally normal - very sick for unknown reason, lots of abnormalities) and given that I am 41, I felt to have as much info as possible would help me. The scan was v thorough. It all looked ok but dear god it was scary - I was just waiting for her to find something wrong and nearly had to tell her to stop. Now I am waiting for results, and to see if things still continue to look normal. The other one may have looked normal at this stage too - it did at 8 weeks, then the heart seemed to fail in some way, amongst other things. I suppressed alot of emotion after that tfmr,and its all coming back to haunt me a bit now. Loads of flashbacks. I know I shouldn't be complaining right now but no-one knows about this pg so I am getting it out on here if thats' ok.

I don't want to feed others anxieties though!