Recurrent Miscarriage Support Thread 27 - Tests, Treatments and Trying Again

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Tea, hugs, a wealth of collective knowledge and lots of hand holding as we try again. This thread moves like lightning so hold on to your hats!
Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/2404797-Recurrent-Miscarriage-Support-Thread-26-tests-treatment-and-trying-again

Not at all my lovely. That's what we are here for.

We've discussed the harmony test but going to wait until 12 wk scan and see what the nuchal measurement is first and then if we need to, have the test.

I hope that's the right way to do things!!! But I've nothing to compare to now as this is the furthest I've ever been

bootles having the harmony test sounds like it was the right thing for you to do. You don't have to justify yourself on here. It's funny when people don't know you're pregnant. I have to come out at work this week. As a very slim person my tummy is def protruding a lot.

Just the thought of doing it and 3 nights of not needing a week a million times in the night are making me so anxious. Definitely feeling the 12 to 20 week limbo. Still over 3 weeks until my next scan.

Trying to catch up on here... Chatty chatty lovely ladies

baby I only have had 2 mc. We definitely don't follow the NHS rules on rmc. Hope you find us useful. Welcome aboard.

march bit gasp and grr at what happened with your mil. I would have been rude and upset her with the truth but it sounds like you dealt with the situation responsibly. My blood boiling instant response wouldn't have helped.

Hugs may well done for getting through the day.

Bit late 6 pages in but my stats:

34, dh 33, natural mc at 10wks Apr 14, erpc at 11+5 Nov 14. Went to Coventry. Normal results. Followed their protocol and currently 16+3 assuming its not dead as I keep reminding dh

No apologies necessary bootles.that's what we're all here for, when there's no one else you can talk to about these things. Everyone knows how stressful the first few months are, and you have the additional stress of having had a problem picked up before. I think the harmony test was a good idea given your circumstances to hopefully put your mind at rest. Keeping fingers crossed for good results x

Bootles, that's what we're here for, to vent away to help deal with the "real" world x

Can I ask you ladies your opinion on the best order for the following. I want to start acupuncture & go to Coventry however currently awaiting date for hysteroscopy, which is likely to be 3-4 months. Would you proceed with the acupuncture and/ or Coventry or once the hysteroscopy is done in case it finds something? (Although the consultant herself is doubtful but wants to do it to rule out anything)

Morning ladies!
Frecklefire I completely agree with you, I sometimes don't even recognise myself anymore, I've lost some of my sass too, 3MC in a row does knock stuffing out of you. What is it with getting bigger too? Is it the comfort eating? I always thought I may lose weight, did initially but now it's going back on grr.
Justonemoretime thanks for your link previously and didn't realise you have a whole blog, what a good idea to do that and it really helps others too. Very inspirational. Interesting what you say about progesterone too, it must be a trial and error finding right level for you.
Baby have you heard about Mr Shehata in Epsom? I think that's near your way?
Marchgirl sorry to hear about mil maybe DH can now quietly put her in picture and then she might feel bad for asking such personal questions. My mil knows all about ours but won't talk about it, this infuriates me as the least I expect is an acknowledgment of it. Other people's lack of compassion never fails to amaze me at times. So onestep to hear the barber story is heartwarming. If you can open up to others it's surprising too how many have been affected.
Marchgirl also thank you so much for very detailed Coventry info, now I understand and I think I'll get in touch with them after 2 periods (God please they come back) and for another opinion. Think it's good to have other options but to be careful not to get info overload!
Saw pg friend last night, it wasn't as hard as I'd been dreading, she was very kind to me and understood having been through a lot and 2 MC herself, she had a lot of info. Still gutted we are not pg together anymore but what can you do.

girliesaints I would still go ahead with your plans anyway, 3-4 mth is a long wait.

I'm certainly suffering from post mc
Weight gain, although holibobs didn't help. Bought myself a Fitbit and started using it today to help motivate me to start properly exercising and healthy eating starts again tomorrow but today it's chocolate all the way!

Girlie I did acupuncture and Coventry before my hysteroscopy.

During my hysteroscopy they did another scratch to help my lining - so absolutely do Coventry first if you want to

Have missed way too many pages to properly catch up so apologies to the people I miss.

girlie I think I'd get started too. 4 months is a long time to wait. Definitely with the acupuncture anyway. I was thinking of getting a Fitbit- let me know if you think it's worth it. Figure if I can't get pg might as well get thin!

march sympathies on the mil front. That's really tricky and you dealt with it really well considering the shock! Hopefully she'll be sympathetic if you decide to tell her. (As an aside my mil is a major bitch- she told dh he should never have married me, in front of me! Dh and ds see her without me and I now see her only on ds's birthday and on Xmas day. Which pisses me off as it spoils the two most special days of the year!)

bootles vent away- here is definitely the best place for worries. Hope the test brings you some peace of mind.

mrsD 16 weeks! Wow that seems to have flown- probably not to you though. Hope the next three weeks whizz by.

onestep bless the barber lady. It's amazing how people open up sometimes. And so great that your Dh is so supportive. He sounds wonderful.

Afm just been to a see-the-new-baby get together. Basically 9 day old baby and two other friends who are 18 and 23 weeks pregnant. It was shit. I must have looked like the most miserable, jealous person in the world. I knew it would be hard but didn't realise how much it would upset me. Someone whispered how are you and obviously I said fine. I really wanted to talk about how we'd had our test results back and it was a little boy. And that at 40 I'm really worried I'll never get to be pregnant again. But could have imagined the tumbleweed blowing through the room if I had spoiled all the happy baby talk. Came home and cried on Dh instead who tried his best to understand.

Waves to everyone and hi to all the new ladies. Sorry you have to be here but these ladies are fab!

That sounds really tough minnie. Well done for getting through it. It's a shame there was no opportunity for you to speak up as well. I know what you mean though, it's hard sometimes to not feel like you're putting a downer on things even though for you its just normal chat about your life.

girlie i would agree that you might be best to just crack on with the other things while you wait. There is a lot to be said for feeling like you're doing something while you are on these enforced breaks. You've had such a long time to wait last time and I'm so angry that you have to wait so long again. Is there any chance of getting a cancellation? I have weekly acupuncture and i have to say it's great. If you can find a community clinic it could save you quite a bit, but i guess it depends whether there is anything like that near you.

Girlie, i would defo stsrt the accupuncture and the sups now, as they say such things take 3 months to be effective anyway. Then by the time you've been to cov n had your hystoscopy (sp?) you'll have all yoyr ducks in a row and your body will be in ticketyboo form!
Bootles** fire away my love. I am happy to absorb any form of melt-down, anxiety-driven or otherwise. I totally understand your situation and i know i would be exactly the same.

Infact, if i ever do get pregnant again i appologise in advance ladies for the total nutcase i WILL turn into...

girlie I think in your shoes I would steam on with Coventry and acupuncture.

mrsd 16 weeks is brilliant! In my experience the weeing levels go up and down too, and hope it goes ok when you tell people at work.

Thanks for the support ladies.
brummie my age would bring my numbers down for the combined screening, and as the place I went to was 300 pounds cheaper at 10 weeks rather than 12 (package I did includes nuchal at 12 as well) I thought I would do that. The way you are doing it is definitely a good plan - I was just taking advantage of the cheaper package.

minnie sorry you had such a difficult day. I have always found it really, really emotional finding out the gender and test results. Big hugs x

Hey all, just wanted to pop in with an update and see how you're all doing. I'm on a bit of a mn break. All is well though, had the NT scan last Monday when I was 12+2, baby measured 13 weeks. Received test results a couple of days later and no concerns there which was a massive relief. So all is well. I did have a scare around 11 weeks with spotting and ended up in epu only to find baba moo doing somersaults in there. I still have massive fears and panics so still getting counselling, but overall trying to stay positive. Finished the last of the medication on Friday (heparin and pred),now just taking vitamins and will carry on with 200mg prog once a day for a few more days. Just hope I can make it through to 20 week scan without freaking myself out, thats on 20th Aug. I think of you ladies often and hope you can forgive my lack of presence recently.

Lovely to hear from you jady, but completely understand you needing to step back a bit. You just do whatever you need to get by, but nice to have a little update every now and again. So pleased to hear that the dating scan went well and the nt is all good. That must have been a relief after that little scare. Big hugs to you. Take care of yourself x

I'm with you there on the nutcase comment freckle. That's going to be me as well!

Minnie** that sounds like torture, and to not have an outlet - so hard. I think it's pretty generous of you that you put yourself in that situation. Think we all need to open up a bit more freely About rmc. We don't have to be the voice of doom, but i think generosity has to be a two way street - "I find this incredibly painfull, but my pain doesn't stop me being glad for you too" kind of thing. I have 4 friends currently pregnant but i was annoyed with one who didn't want to tell me. I just thought she really wasn't crediting me with enough love, compassion and just basic friendliness! I had to text he: "I do understand that there is not a quota on babies or happiness in the world. It's not like i think you got a baby instead of me, our situations can not be compared. I would feel your pain if you couldn't have a baby, and i feel your happiness that you can - I expect you would be the same with me?!" And i think she understood. But it is a trully personal thing.

freckle I agree with you on the generosity thing totally. (And I realise I sound like an ungrateful miserable cow!) I've done the 'I'm very happy for you while still being sad for me and that's no reflection on how happy I am that everything is ok for you' thing. I've also texted before and after scans and liked and commented on Facebook posts etc. It would be nice to be able to talk about my journey without being the black cloud but maybe that's just me not them. I'm probably just being over sensitive and they wouldn't have cared at all. Perhaps I should just stop overthinking it! Feeling pretty mopey in general as I'm feeling another bfn on the horizon and then the scratch benefit is gone. And work is the most shit ever (not helped by the fact I should have been going on maternity leave at the end of term so could have escaped all the crap!) Sorry for being so fucking miserable and mememe

Oh Minnie that's so tough what you went through earlier, and can completely understand how it must have made you feel. Very brave and generous like others said of you to go along. Sometimes we think we will be ok but then it's very painful. I have avoided yet another baby shower this weekend as I just thought I wouldn't cope. Feel bad but trying to protect myself abit, however got same girls DD 2nd bd party next Saturday. I'm going to do that one but hoping it won't be as intense as a baby shower. Must be even more heartbreaking knowing the gender too, you are a strong lady.

I'm feeling the panic about the benefit of the scratch finishing as well minnie. You still have another month don't you? I hope so otherwise that must mean mine has already run out! I really hope you don't need to think about that though, and that you get your bfp this month. It's ok to feel mopey. It's such an up and down journey. I'm also feeling like it's over already this cycle. Had spotting since 2dpo and was a bit clotty today. Don't know what that means but I don't think it's good. Hope it's not af already. I know strictly this is a wtf cycle for me, but really. WTF?

Minnie, are you on the prog 7 days post ov? I am sooo tempted to either not do or chop in 2. You need to get the afternoon bonking done next cycle!!! x

jady lovely to hear from you and very happy to hear all is well. Sorry about the bleed at 11 weeks though as it must have given you a huge shock. But great to hear it is all good! Totally understand the need to step back x

Minnie it's really difficult when other bits of life like work are hard too. And I know what you mean about not wanting to bring others down but it is hard to behave 'normally' in these situations and stay silent. Willing you on for a bfp very soon x

march and freckle trust me I am a nutcase about it all. Filled with petrified panic and can't really discuss with anyone except on here as I have chosen not to tell anyone. However I have shit loads to do in terms of setting up my new work/life/balance and am waking at 3am in a panic about that too. Who resigns when they are pregnant?! I do apparently..

March I would be very annoyed at being put in that position. I don't care who knows, but I need to know who knows, if that makes sense?! Otherwise you have no idea where you're starting the conversation from!

oneday not bringing the mood down at all, I think it's great that he's happy to share. I've also found lots of support and understanding whenever I've spoken about it.

bootles don't apologise! When I went for my first scan after the successful iui I was in tears before I'd even dropped my knickers. Too many bad memories. It's just horrible .

Minnie , so brave of you to go, not sure I could have done.

freckle I wish I could be more like you. If a friend could go through a pg and hide it all from me I'd be quite happy! I didn't used to be this bad. But then there have been a lot of bumps and a lot of births in the 3.5 years since we started trying, perhaps it's just an accumulation thing. The last pg announcement was from a couple who hadn't even met each other when we started ttc, and now they're married with a baby on the way. A lot can happen while you're just treading water going nowhere .

march and minnie if its any consolation the benefits of my scratch would have long worn off when I got this bfp. And I spotted all through the cycle before the bfp march.